Levy Loop/North Little Rock High

I walked the Levy Loop in 30:21 this morning.

This evening, at the North Little Rock High track, I ran 8X200 meters with a nearly full recovery for intervals; 200 walks in about 1:50. I did the 200s in 61.9, 60.1, 58.7, 57.8, 57.8, 57.1, 57.4, and 54.7. This was an easy workout, though typical of my runs the last 25 years, my legs felt dead. I jogged an 800 in 6:14 to warmup and an 800 warmdown in 5:37 to complete three miles in 34:36.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:20.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:28.

It's cold; 35 at 6:16 p.m. Central. I jogged the Levy Loop in 22:11, with splits of 11:29 and 10:42.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in 31:20. I felt tired.

Maybe I'm worn out from the Green Bay Packers' 120.50-108.33 loss to Walt Webb's Fat Bitches in the Democrat Football League championship game.

Levy Loop

I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 24:23.

Levy Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:11. Tim Cooper called five minutes after I walked in, and I road with him to Oaklawn Park where I lost $14.20. We then ate at La Hacienda. We were served by a waitress who was a cross between Greta Kuntzweiler and Na Yeon Choi, breathtakingly petepretty. The food was delicious, including hot refried beans with white cheese shredded over them (which inspired a telling of the "I'm not a bean person" story). Then I ran and walked the Orange Street Loop in 32:48, with splits of 11:03, 11:02, and 10:43.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE, Ark. — I ran six miles out-and-back on Old Center Point Road this morning in 58:46 , with splits of 10:20, 10:02, 9:40, 9:43, 9:09, and 9:52. I only pushed it the fifth mile, and was somewhat whipped for the final, uphill mile. This was the best run I have experienced in a while, and my best morning run in close to forever.

I walked the Levy Loop on Wednesday and the two-mile York Gary Chevrolet Loop last night.

Orange Street Loop

I ran the Orange Street Loop in 26:50 this evening, with splits of 9:18, 8:20, and 9:12. Again, I made it a bit of tempo run, trying to give a little more of a go through the second mile. It felt fine.

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 29:44 yesterday afternoon, and the Levy Loop in 29:12 this morning.

Hash

I set the Baby Jesus 4K this morning, walking two and a half miles in 41:38. Then, between drunks, watched the Green Bay Packers advance to their second DFL championship game. Green Bay beat Dead Elway, 135.84-132.08, winning on a last-second, goal-line tackle of Adrian Peterson at about 9 p.m. Central. We play the Fat fucking Bitches in the Democrat Football League championship game. Fuck Walt. Fuck his team. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Ghetto Cat Loop/33rd Street Loop

I ran the 33rd Street Loop late this afternoon in 49:04, with splits of 10:04, 9:50, 9:38, 9:46, and 9:46. Yesterday morning I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 29:23.

North Little Rock High

After losing $25 at Oaklawn Park on a trip there with Tim Cooper, and eating a large vanilla ice cream cone from Kastle Kreme, I ran 5X400 meters at the North Little Rock High track in 1:50, 1:52, 1:43, 1:47, and 1:36. They were easy, even the last one. I jogged and walked three laps to warm up and down.

Levy Loop/First Tee

I walked the Levy Loop in 30:18 this morning and then played nine holes at First Tee with Jeff Krupsaw, where I scored a 59, losing the Broadmoor-Levy Cup to Krupsaw and his 56. I had 4 bogies, 1 double, 2 triples, 1 pentagonal, and 1 hexagonal. I led Krupsaw by three strokes with two holes to play, then played Nos. 8 and 9 in 11 and 8, respectively.

Orange Street Loop

This was a decent run, sort of a modified tempo outing on the Orange Street Loop, completed in 27:24. I started at a trot, speeded up gradually through the second half mile mile, pushed the second mile, and then cruised in, with splits of 9:31, 8:47, and 9:06. I was slightly hampered by mismatched shoes; I had a relatively new, size-10 running shoe on my right foot, and a size-10 1/2 walking shoe on my left. The running shoes have about 200 miles on them. The walking shoes are the only shoes I have worn daily since early April. I knew something was wrong when, after about half a mile, I realized my left foot was flopping around a little and the Dr. Scholls deal had shifted forward.

I walked the Levy Loop yesterday evening in 29:29, and the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:18.

The Green Bay Packers advanced to the Democrat Football League playoff semifinals with a 162.95-101.49 crushing of Krup's Kids. Next we play the top-ranked team, Dead Elway, a team we beat by .74 points four or five weeks ago. Good news is that one of its star wide receivers, Larry Fitzgerald of the Arizona Cardinals, hurt his knee last night. I don't think it's serious, but remain hopeful. Our game's winner will play the winner between the Fat Chicks (Walt Webb) and the Purple People Eaters (Kane Webb)* in the DFL final. The winner there will play the DFL 2 champion in the Cooper Bowl.

*my nicknames for these teams are Dead Meat, Fat Bitches, and Purple-Headed Cock Eaters.

Hash

I walked and jogged about two miles on Bill Brass' Hash run around the Capitol Building.

The Green Bay Packers lead Krup's Kids 162.95-89.34. Krup's Kids' quarterback Kurt Warner still has a game to play Monday night for the NFL's Arizona Cardinals. If Warner completes 46 passes for 555 yards and 8 touchdowns, NFL records collectively by one completion, yard, and touchdown, then we would win 162.95-157.59. Thus, we felt comfortable when Coach Lee Hardman said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah; I was gonna do Warner like Oswald done Kennedy and blow his brain into his wife's lap and shit, but why waste my time?" and quarterback Philip Rivers said, "Now we hopes Krup's Bastards loses they consolation game and shit, too."

Our points total is a team record and the most for any Democrat Football League team this season. We are two victories away from playing in our second Cooper Bowl, a game which we have not won. Next week we play Dead Elway, by far the top-rated team in our league.

Orange Street Loop

I walked one minute to start each half mile and otherwise jogged the Orange Street Loop in 33:10, with splits of 11:12, 11:17, and 10:41, starting at about 5 p.m. Central. I walked the first mile of the Levy Loop this morning but the precipitation turned from mist to heavy rain and I was not adequately dressed to tolerate a drenching at 38 degrees.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 30:34.

Levy Loop

It's 28 degrees at 10:20 a.m. Central, but calm, so far more comfortable than yesterday. I walked the Levy Loop in 29:59.69, which qualifies, I believe, as an ace.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Park Hill Loop

This was close to a tap-in birdie, from 3,520 yards: I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:50 (29:49.75).

It's cold and windy, 30 degrees with a wind chill of 16, both figures one degree fairer than those current in Port Hawkesbury (D'Escousse does not appear on weather.com, at least not in Levy).

Now, at 7:38 p.m. Central, it's 31 degrees. I ran and walked the Park Hill Loop, buffered a bit by the $19.95 pants I bought this afternoon; they're a cross between the stylish, opaque panty-hose looking pants I've worn for the last five years and the thick, baggy sweat pants they gave us at Gardner Junior High in Russellville, in 57:06, with splits of 12:14, 12:22, 11:02, 11:17, and 10:11. I walked for six minutes each of the first two miles, four the next two, and one during the final.

Levy Loop

This has been a dark gray rainy day. The rain finally stopped, so I walked the Levy Loop in 29:33.

The Green Bay Packers defeated Redline 7000 and advanced to the DFL playoffs with a 107.38-76.22 victory. As the third seed, we'll start against No. 6-seeded Krup's Kids.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:17.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Hash

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 30:36 this morning.

This afternoon I ran virtually nonstop for 34:08 through Burns Park from and back to the Covered Bridge to cover about three miles with the Hash. I started a few minutes late, never saw anyone, and felt great, as good as I do; was almost disappointed to finish.

After Sunday's NFL games, the Green Bay Packers are not quite a lock to make the Democrat Football League playoffs for the first time since 2006. Not quite. We lead Redline 7000 by a score of 107.38-63.13. If we win, we're in. Redline will need 44.26 points from wide receiver Donald Driver of the NFL's Green Bay Packers in Monday night's game (that means 443 receiving yards or eight touchdowns, or a mixture, in that one touchdown is worth six points, as is 60 yards; it would require Driver to have far-and-away the most significant offensive performance in NFL history). If Driver does score 44.26 or more, then one of the following would also be required to eliminate my team from the DFL playoffs: defensive back Rod Woodson would have to score 14.95 or more for the NFL's Packers on Monday night. He would do that with three interceptions, or two interceptions and a touchdown. That, combined with Driver's performance, would put the Dadburn Gallinappers in. Or, wide receiver Greg Jennings would have to score 271.41 for the NFL's Packers (gain 2,715 yards or score 46 touchdowns, or a mixture), which would put the Mudville Nine in the DFL playoffs and Jennings in his own wing of the NFL Hall of Fame. Fuck, they'd quit playing football and the world would turn its attention to Beat the Streak.

Levy Loop

I can't seem to make myself walk slower; I walked the Levy Loop in 29:29 at a little after noon Central.

OVERHEARD

"Hey, you usually be jogging around here, don't you?"
— man raking leaves on Hillside Drive

Ghetto Cat Loop/Ghetto Cat-Levy Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:24.

It's no-shit cold in Levy. I think our high today was around 38. It's 33 at 6:35 p.m. Central, nine degrees warmer than right now in Port Hawkesbury, Canada. Believe it or not, I am not reporting that as a complaint. I completed the Ghetto Cat and Levy Loops in 47:04, with splits of 12:17, 11:43, 11:49, and 11:15. I walked six minutes the first mile, four the second and third, and two the fourth. It was easy.

Levy Loop

This was a little better prediction result; I walked the Levy Loop in 29:46.

33rd Street Loop

I walked for a total of 54 minutes and otherwise ran the 33rd Street Loop, with the one-mile Emerson Drive Loop thrown in to make six miles, in 1:14:04, with splits of 12:44, 12:53, 12:36, 12:37, 11:49, and 11:25. It's soggy wet and windy and 42 degrees, and someone near the top of Orange Street Hill is frying bacon or sausage.

Maple Street Loop

I jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop in 25:29. It was 42 degrees in the dark, so I wore gloves and a headband. I didn't feel very good, but afterward ate a bowl of oatmeal with lots of butter, and sweetener and cinnamon and a handful of blueberries, and am now warm and comfortable.

Levy Loop

Cold wind and Pam have returned of course. I wore gloves this morning, and walked the Levy Loop in 29:33.

This afternoon I took advantage of Burns Park's $8 happy hour (after 2 p.m.) and played the front nine of the shorter course, the one to the right of the club house, and scored a 44, with 2 pars (Nos. 2 and 9), 5 bogies, and 2 doubles (Nos. 1 and 6). I used 16 putts, and the heavy putter Jeff Krupsaw gave me in the late spring of 2006 for all shots inside 30 yards. The glue job on the driver did not work and I am nearly certain someone explained to Scott Vratil there is no way in the fucking world I would consider using an acetylene torch. I have two other drivers and probably half a dozen three-woods I am considering taking to the golf store for a severe shaft reduction; my hope is the golf geeks will think I am having the club shortened for a child or small woman. "You're going to putt with this? Okay."

Orange Street Loop

I ran the Orange Street Loop, through soft wind and rain, in 28:05, with splits of 9:59, 9:24, and 8:42.

Park Hill Loop

I expected to walk a lot this evening, the protocol of my recent runs, but did not; instead, I felt good from the start, from which I underestimated the liveliness of my legs and proceeded through the Park Hill Loop in 48:38, with splits of 10:17, 10:12, 9:38, 9:40, and 8:51.

Levy Loop

I picked up this computer to report on my 30:17 circuit of the Levy Loop when Erin Vratil skyped me. I was delighted to learn that Skype works even when it has not been engaged, and pleased to see Scott and Jan Vratil for the first time in nearly three years.

York Gary Loop/Nashville misc.

NASHVILLE—Wednesday night, at about 9 p.m., I ran the two-mile York Gary Loop in 19:48. Last night, after eating all day, I walked from my mother's house to downtown Nashville, walked through downtown, then retraced the route my mother and her twin sister Jean walked from the First Baptist Church to their mother's house the night of Dec. 7, 1941. They were fearful the whole way that Japanese soldiers were hiding behind trees, prepared to cut them to pieces. Afterward, I walked back to mom's from what we Crutchfield grandchildren called "Granny's." I was out for 31:53 and probably covered about two miles. I imagined walking that route again on Dec. 7, 2041, as an 82-year-old, and writing an essay about it. The clarity of my mother's and Aunt Jean's memory of that walk always interested me.

First Tee/Levy Loop

I am happy the Broadmoor-Levy Cup remains in Levy, but little else about my round with Jeff Krupsaw today pleased me. I won 54-58 at First Tee. I had 6 bogies, 1 double, and 2 pentagonals. Krup had 2 bogies, 4 doubles, 1 triple, and 2 quadruples. We were tied at No. 9. Krup hit his tee shot into the water; mine bounced into the rocks by the water and was unplayable. I hit from the drop area to three feet with the lob wedge Chris Vratil gave me to save bogey. Krup hit into the water again, then into the bunker, and finished with an eight.

Then I walked the Levy Loop in 30:22.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning, starting at about 9 a.m. Central, in 29:22.

This evening I sat on my couch, listening to Bruce Hornsby and the Range (the first time I have listened to music on my CD/DVD player since 2006) and watching the Tennessee Titans-Houston Texans on nfl.com. Tennessee tailback Chris Johnson had to score 15 points for the Green Bay Packers to defeat the Fat Chicks in the Democrat Football League. He needed to rush for 150 yards. When Tennessee received a punt with about three minutes left in the fourth quarter, Johnson had 122 yards. He rushed for 22 yards on one carry while I was in the bathroom. He needed six more yards. On the first play after the two minute warning, Johnson ran for seven yards. Tennessee kicked its game-winning field goal on the next play and the Green Bay Packers won 98.11-97.92, the narrowest margin of victory in DFL history, breaking the record established with Krup's Kids' 116.77-116.41 victory over Dead Elway in the 10th game of the 2007 season.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 28:52.

Levy Loop/33rd Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:06.

I jogged the first three miles of the 33rd Street Loop, starting at about 6:30 p.m., and then walked home. I was out for 33:31 , with splits of 11:03, 11:11, and 11:17. It's been eight days since my legs last felt good running. For some reason, I had nice runs on Nov. 10, 11, and 13, when those three interrupted about two months of feeling like I did tonight. Oh well.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Maple Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 29:43* this morning.

This evening, at about 5:30 Central, I jogged and ran the Maple Street Loop in 19:43, with splits of 10:21 and 9:22.

*I was embarrassed to write earlier that I again participated in a solitary game of prediction, but fuck it. For a while, until it bores me or I forget, I plan to see how close to 30 minutes I can walk these two-mile loops. I should eventually nail it, like golfers who consistently stick short irons within five feet of the pin. I figure a hole-in-one equivalent would be in the 29:59.5-30:00.49 range.

First Tee/Levy Loop

I played two loops of the par-three course using two balls at First Tee, starting at about noon Central. I had 14 pars, 11 bogies, 10 doubles, and 1 triple. That's 142 strokes, four more than last week. Then I played the first four holes of the big course with four consecutive bogies, concluding on No. 4 with a 223-yard drive, a 165-yard five-iron to the rough above the green to the left, a pitch to six feet, and a downhill, right-to-left putt that missed by a cunt hair and stopped maybe six inches past.

Somewhat exhausted and hungrier than two motherfuckers, I walked the Levy Loop in 31:34.

River Trail

I wanted to run 10 miles today, but could not. The weather was perfect for an attempt; 50 degrees, calm, with a deep gray canopy. My legs weren't. Instead of 10, I ran four, out and back from the Big Dam Bridge, in 39:40, with splits of 10:13, 10:16, 9:52, and 9:19.

Levy Loop

I walked a prediction Levy Loop this morning with a prediction of 30 minutes, and got it in 30:14. I'm a little rusty.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Orange Street Loop

It always surprises me when I'm reminded how readily smells are borne by the crisp, almost metallic air of fall and shit. This morning in windy gray, damp mid-50s along the Ghetto Cat Loop, I crossed block-long wafts of chicken from, I believe, the Dixie Pig, and then donuts from Mark's. I jogged for a total of five minutes and otherwise walked to complete the loop in 26:51.

It's definitely fall. I didn't need weather.com to confirm that, only to specify that the temperature is 45 degrees with an 18 mile-an-hour wind (gusting to 26). I jogged the Orange Street Loop, at about 5:30 p.m. Central, wearing gloves and ear muffs, in 30:35, with splits of 10:20, 10:07, and 10:08.

Hash

I jogged non-stop on Walt Webb's Hash run from Walt's house, across the river, to the Clinton museum, through the River Market, and back to Walt's. I was out for 42:38, so covered close to four miles, maybe a little more. I have Hashed somewhat regularly since June, 1980, and I'm pretty fucking sure that's the first time I have ever run a run non-stop. The fast people stayed far enough ahead to figure out the checks and the slow people lagged behind, so I ran alone for all but the first mile or so.

Levy Loop

It's 6:34 p.m. Central in the middle of November and 65 degrees. I'm on my front porch, sweating a little from a tour of the Levy Loop, jogged in 20:44, with splits of 10:47 and 9:57. I walked the Levy Loop this morning, with about two minutes of easy jogging, in something like 29:30; I cleared my watch and can't remember the exact time.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

It's 37 degrees this morning; nevertheless, I am slathered in sweat after a record-smashing run of the Ghetto Cat Loop, completed in 19:42, with splits of 10:11 and 9:31. This recent prevalence of energy confuses me.

Starting at about 1 p.m. Central, I played two loops of the Par-3 course at First Tee using two balls. I had 3 birdies, 13 pars, 13 bogies, 3 doubles, 2 triples, and 2 quadruples.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 31:29 this morning.*

This evening, beginning at about 6:30 p.m. Central, I jogged for five minutes and otherwise walked the Levy Loop in 26:30.

*as for the "gnarly" fantasy football game, the Green Bay Packers went into Monday Night Football trailing Dead Elway, 124.96-123.70. Both teams had one defensive lineman going. Dead Elway, by the far the best team in the league, failed to get points from their player. My guy, Elvis Dumervil of the Denver Broncos, got half a sack for two points and we won 125.70-124.96, the fifth closest game since the Democrat Football League was formed in 1997.

33rd Street Loop

I ran the 33rd Street Loop in 47:47, with splits of 9:42, 9:35, 9:37, 9:39, and 9:14. This was the second consecutive day I have felt good running; I wish I could attribute that to the steak, pizza, and Mexican food I ate while Dad was here.

Orange Street Loop

Fueled by all the pizza I could eat at Larry's, consumed about two and a half hours ago, I ran the Orange Street Loop in 29:22, with splits of 9:58, 9:38, and 9:47.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I jogged the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning, at about 8:30 Central, in 21:18*, with splits of 10:54 and 10:34. Later, after moving the soft green chair into my back bedroom and buying a lamp to put beside it, I spent two hours mulching leaves, raking, and sweeping the walk and driveway to get ready for Dad's arrival with the pretty yet conservative red and green chair he first offered me five years ago.

*easily a Ghetto Cat Loop record since it was the first time I've run it

Hash

I'm in a, like, gnarly fantasy football game dude; but, it didn't keep me from Hash, where I ran about three miles through Alsopp Park and around Hillcrest on a run set by Mike Wickline. Please cheer for Dallas' Miles Austin and Philadelphia's DeSean Jackson and fly to Philadelphia and shoot Tony Romo.

Levy Loop

I jogged the Levy Loop in 21:33. I forgot to take the mile split, but figure I ran the second a little faster, since on the first I went so slowly I nearly tripped over my feet a couple of times. My forever clunky legs felt fine at this pace (4:42:30 marathon). The weather was ideal for a short jog; 62 degrees with a light breeze in the moonlight.

Ridge Road Loop/Fort Roots

I ran and walked the Ridge Road Loop this morning for the first time since Oct. 16 last year, and now am seated on my front porch in a 67-degree light breeze with the smell and colors of fall all around and Jo licking the sweat off my left leg. I covered the loop, with 25 minutes of walking, in 48:10, with splits of 12:39, 12:35, 11:42, and 11:13.

John Kelly and I played Fort Roots, beginning at about 3:15 p.m. Central. I won 46-63. I had 2 pars, 4 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. John had 2 pars, 1 double, 2 triples, 2 quadruples, 1 pentagonal, and 1 heptagonal.

Orange Street Loop

It was 48 degrees, which felt good on this late-night run of the Orange Street Loop, completed in 27:54, with splits of 9:24, 9:18, and 9:12.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I like the Ghetto Cat Loop. It has some stretches that I have rarely run or walked in my nearly 23-year Levy experience—offers lots of new poor people a chance to look oddly at me and wonder whether I'm a cop. Unfortunately, I haven't seen the Jo-like black cat again. I walked the loop this morning at about 8 a.m. Central.

One thing about my golf game has remained unchanged; three consecutive days is too many. I played a total of 13 holes with Jeff Krupsaw, and won the Levy-Broadmoor Cup by three strokes with a 45. Then we played the first four holes again. Overall, I had 4 pars, 5 bogies, and 4 doubles. As the final hole of the day, we played No. 4, the long motherfucker, for a $10 million gift card from Walmart. I hit a mediocre drive, and then a 200-yard five-wood to the left fringe, three inches off the green, 40 feet away, and three putted from there for bogie. Krupsaw doubled, after spending the length of the fairway wondering how long it would take Jill to get used to a wardrobe limited to Walmart clothing and whether we could buy big-ticket items and resell them to friends for the sake of pocket dough.

OVERHEARD

"Technology can't help that swing."

— Johnny Miller on NBC's live coverage of the Levy-Broadmoor Cup

Fort Roots/35th Street Loop

This was a very good, post-golf run. I jogged and walked, for a total of four minutes, the 35th Street Loop in 44:22, with splits of 11:26, 11:00, 10:51, and 11:05.

I began that run about 45 minutes after completing 18 holes, played at Fort Roots in 93, with nines of 47 and 46. I had 1 birdie, 2 pars, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, and 2 triples. I used 33 putts.

Levy Loop/Fort Roots

This morning at about 7 a.m. Central I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 22:40.

Again, as David Duval said, "I'm close. I know I've been saying it a long time and no one's believed me, but I've been so close." Today, starting at about 2:30 p.m., in 70-degree sunshine, I played Fort Roots with Del, the only guy I really liked among the old men I played with the summer of 2008, in 46, with 2 pars, 4 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 17 putts. I hit a ball over the wall on the par-5 No. 7, my only lost ball and the only bad drive I hit, which led to the triple.

Now I plan to cook bratwurst and French fries and feed myself and Tim Cooper as we watch Benton's Cliff Lee win a 1-0 victory for the Phillies over North Little Rock's A.J. Burnett.

Hash

I ran pretty much non-stop for 56:09 on a Hash run set all over Levy and Park Hill from the Ewbank's rent house to John Kelly's to cover well over four miles.

Orange Street Loop

I ran the Orange Street Loop in 30:42, with splits of 10:27, 10:14, and 10:01.

Ghetto Cat Loop

It started raining at about 1 p.m. Central on Thursday and continued until noon today. I'm not sure how much rain fell past midnight,* but we had 3.7 inches yesterday. I jogged, walked, and dodged streams and puddles along the Ghetto Cat Loop for 22:39, with splits of 11:50 and 10:49.

*now I know: 1.4 inches

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop through a windy downpour of leaves and lukewarm mist in 29:31.

35th Street Loop

I jogged the 35th Street Loop at a pace similar to last night's, going as slowly as I could. I finished in 43:48, with splits of 11:20, 10:53, 10:43, and 10:52.

McCain Mall/Orange Street Loop

It has rained here since noon yesterday, so, as I entered McCain Mall on a mission from mom to purchase $39 Reeboks she saw advertised in the paper, decided to join the other old people for a walk, and walked casually in an attempt to not look like what I was for 35:28. A tall, rail-thin, radiant and unadorned brunette in the Two Hearts® maternity department of Sears narrowly won the Miss McCain Mall Pageant over two Asian-looking buffet attendants at Wok N' Roll.

The rain stopped tonight. At about 8 p.m. Central, I jogged the Orange Street Loop in 33:15, with splits of 11:30, 10:54, and 10:51. This was about as slowly as I can run. Sometimes that fails to work; I feel crappy no matter the pace, but not tonight. This was easy. I'd like to see those other mall-walking motherfuckers stay with me.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in 31:29 through a lovely and cool, diamond-bright fall morning and shit.

Park Hill Loop

I ran the Park Hill Loop in 48:40, with splits of 10:03, 10:18, 9:28, 9:40, and 9:11.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop at 9 a.m., drove to Crutch's house in Russellville, watched Mississippi use a running back named McCluster to beat the hell out of Arkansas, heard Crutch say, "Here's a headline for you: Razorbacks' defense a McCluster fuck," scored a 96 at the Russellville Country Club with 2 pars, 12 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 quadruples, ate two Cornish hens cooked by Amy according to a culinarily masterful Mediterranean recipe from which we sponged the greasy-sweet, bacon-crusted essence with perfectly buttered, mushy new potatoes, and ate small soft, crisp rolls Crutch insisted we dip into a bowl of room-temperature butter, then drove home stuffed, a little drunk, content as two motherfuckers.

35th Street Loop

I was at my mother's house for her birthday from Wednesday afternoon through this morning. I walked the two-mile York Gary Loop on Wednesday and Thursday night. Tonight I jogged the 35th Street Loop in 40:04, with splits of 10:09, 9:51, 10:10, and 9:54.

Levy Loop

I would not even have walked today if it weren't for this streak. I had a weird bout with hypoglycemia early this morning that left me a little beat up and sore, so I limited my exercise to a slow walk of the Levy Loop.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop at about 8:30 a.m. Central, and jogged a total of 100 or so yards, in 28:04. I was self conscious jogging in blue jeans and a jacket, but, fuck, it was 38 degrees. Then I took a lesson with Petey King, then, instead of going to the range, drove directly to Burns Park and scored a 50 on the front nine of the long, hard-as-two-motherfuckers course, a pleasing result; had 4 bogies, 4 doubles, 1 triple, and used 19 putts. I hit one green in regulation, with a 166-yard 5-hybrid, and three putted from 30 feet on the perfect but Bolt-fast green. Earlier, I thought I would run tonight, but no way. I awoke at 5 a.m. from a nightmare in which I lost my mind, based on low blood sugar and Ian McEwan's Enduring Love, and haven't slept since; this is a perfect state to appreciate my teetering battle with Jeff Krupsaw in a fantasy football game that hinges for both teams on the results of tonight's game between San Diego and Denver (I trail by 25 points, have San Diego's quarterback, and Jeff San Diego's kicker. I need three or four or five touchdown passes and no field goals. Bunch of yards, bunch of completions. Fuck).

Hash

I ran almost non-stop for 35 minutes to cover about three miles through Alsopp Park and around Hillcrest on Elsa's Hash run.

Levy Loop

It's 52 degrees, nearly cold for mid-October in Levy. I walked the Levy Loop in 28:59.

33rd Street Loop

I ran and walked the 33rd Street Loop in 55:06, with splits of 11:46, 11:43; 11:13, 10:56, and 9:28. I walked for a total of 25 minutes, including two the final mile, so this was almost an interval session. But it wasn't, because it was easy from start to finish. I felt great, great.

I started with a good feeling extant since this morning, when, at 8 Central, I walked the new, two-mile Ghetto Cat Loop in under 29 minutes. The loop includes the section of the 33rd Street Loop, near the Dixie Pig, where earlier this week I met the black cat or kitten. I want to see it again, but did not this morning or tonight.

Levy Loop

I came in from walking the Levy Loop and saw that the Phillies had turned a 1-0 deficit into a 3-1 lead over the Dodgers. There were Phillies on first and third and Ryan Howard was up with two outs in the top of the fifth. One of the announcers said, "Joe Torre is showing a lot of faith in (Clayton) Kershaw, leaving him in in this situation. This is a chance for Kershaw to grow up as a Major League pitcher."

Howard hit a double so hard it nearly sunk into the right field wall and the Phillies led 5-1. Kershaw wet his pants and started crying.

I hope Paul Eckman is happy.

Hash

I walked, jogged, ran, and sprinted—maybe a total of 200 yards—to complete the Levy Loop at about 10 a.m. Central in 22:54. I didn't click the split function on my watch, but went through the first mile in about 11:55, so the second in close to 11 minutes.

Tonight I ran about three miles with the Humpin' Hash between a silly wine bar in the River Market, E.J.'s, a very smoky $3-pitcher bar, and the silly wine bar. I ran easily, felt good, and ate a delicious ham-and-cheese sandwich at E.J.'s.

33rd Street Loop

I jogged and walked the 33rd Street Loop through a 56-degree mist in 58:18, with splits of 12:09, 12:01, 11:32, 11:20, and 11:17. I stopped in the fourth mile to pet a black cat about Jo's size, close to the Dixie Pig. He or she was eager for attention, and ran with me for 10 or 15 yards as I left; surely a loved cat.*

*and, in retrospect, I believe unique to my experience. I'm fairly certain I have never petted a cat on a run. I think this is the only cat I have encountered under similar circumstances who did not run from me, but rather stayed on with interest and curiosity, apparently as a matter of course.

35th Street Loop

I jogged the Maple Street Loop in 42:02, with splits of 10:30, 10:26, 10:37, and 10:29. I didn't feel good today. Again it was cold and dank, my meeting with Petey King rained out, and my fantasy Green Bay Packers got their clocked waxed. Maybe those were it.

Hash

We ran from the Boyle Park pavilion where Porkin' Mindy made her debut back in 2005, a run after which you criticized Jail Bait Jr. for being bitchy and smoking cigarettes. Mostly with B.J., I was out for 55 minutes to cover a bit more than four miles. Afterward I was entertained by a lesbian, introduced to the Hash by Michele Posey, who likely will cause me to waste time and emotional energy for however long she runs with us, a thought formed around distant and immediate joy as the crowd circled and my sense of responsibility fell away. But don't worry; I am forever aware of my overoptimistic view of such events and know to ignore it.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning and planned to run longer this evening, but it's cold and wet and I'm still a pussy so I'll stay here where it's warm and there are baseball and football games to switch between.

Orange Street Loop

I jogged and walked the three-mile Orange Street Loop in 36:29, through the kind of storm* that this time of year proceeds cool weather. That's good news (a sentiment destined to seem unfuckingimaginable in about two months).

*a big one; according to weather.com's radar, it stretches from Houston to the Wal-Mart parking lot in Port Hawkesbury, Nova Scotia

Levy Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 28:11. It turned Indian Summer today, 85 and humid. This evening, at about 7:30 Central, I jogged the Levy Loop in 21:52, with splits of 11:10 and 10:42, on what I predict was my last shirtless run of 2009. Several parts hurt, but none severely.

River Trail

I ran eight miles out and back on the River Trail from the Big Dam Bridge, with one-minute walks each quarter of a mile, in 1:27:34, with splits of 11:28, 11:10, 11:33, 11:04, 10:53, 10:51, 10:33, and 10:02. All that felt bad were my hamstrings, but their discomfort, combined with everything else, averaged an overall state of misery. I'm glad I wasn't pulled over on the drive home, because I had to kneel in the driveway to extract my billfold from beneath the driver's seat.

I walked my obligatory two miles Friday-Tuesday, except late Saturday night, when I jogged and walked about four miles on the Arkansas Traveller course.

33rd Street Loop

I jogged and walked the 33rd Street Loop in 55:52, with splits of 11:17, 11:16, 11:09, 11:14, and 10:56, through heavy wind and light rain.

I did not run 10 miles last Saturday, rather the Levy Loop. On Sunday I ran and walked about five miles from the Arkansas River, up to and around Fort Roots and back on a Hash run. On Monday and Tuesday evenings I walked with my mother across the Big Dam Bridge, tacking on enough to make each round trip about two miles. Mother also walked the Levy Loop with me Tuesday morning. I jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop last night.

North Little Rock High

This morning I ran 4X100 meters at the North Little Rock High track in 19.2, 18.9, 18.6, and 17.9, and, counting the warmup mile and the intervals, completed two miles in 22:49. Until I decide whether these will hurt or benefit me, I believe I will try to do them twice a week, maybe on Mondays and Thursdays, or perhaps Tuesdays and Fridays. We'll see. If I continue to improve at my current rate, I will break Bolt's record in four weeks. Fuck Bolt.

Tonight after watching, with Tim Cooper, Monticello build a 42-12 lead over Mills University Studies through three quarters, I randomly jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop in 23:09, with splits of 12:03 and 11:06.

Yesterday I walked the Levy Loop in the morning and ran the Maple Street Loop in the evening in 17:54, with splits of 9:01 and 8:53.

Not that this will insure my plan, rather hoping it will help, tomorrow evening I plan to complete 10 miles, even if I have to grit my teeth half the way or walk.

North Little Rock High

I jogged and walked a mile at the North Little Rock High track this morning, then did 4X100 meters, with 300 jogs and walks for intervals, in 21.9, 20.8, 19.6, and 18.7. I am pleased to report that Usain Bolt, the 100-meter world-record holder from Jamaica, can no longer claim to be twice as fast as I. I covered the two miles in 22:32.

Tonight I ran about two miles with the Hash on a pub crawl between Spectators, the Honey Hut, and the Forge.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged about a quarter mile for a warmup, stretched a bit, and then ran the Orange Street Loop, alternating five minutes hard with three minutes easy, in 25:35, with splits of 8:44, 8:30, and 8:21. My legs were a little dead from the start, so this was hard work.

Sunday I ran, jogged, and walked about five miles on Ron and Elaine Gimblet's Hash run in Burns Park, after watching the NFL, and Na Yeon Choi blow a seven-stroke lead but birdie No. 18 at Torrey Pines to win her first LPGA title. What should I send a woman, who just won $250,000, for her 22nd birthday? I walked the Levy Loop yesterday afternoon after playing the short course and the long course at First Tee in a scramble with Jeff and Jill Krupsaw and Jeff Slatton. We finished last by two strokes in the morning flight of 18 teams. I didn't see the final results but would bet we finished 36th. And the thing is, we really didn't play that badly. From the back tees, except Jill, who played the reds, we were two-under on the the short course and one-over on the long. I walked for 32 minutes on a meandering Levy course this morning.

Park Hill Loop

After watching the LPGA's Samsung® World Championship from Torrey Pines today, I have decided to dedicate everything I do from here on out to Na Yeon Choi. However, that choice did not provide impetus to overcome lifeless legs tonight, when I ran and jogged and walked the Park Hill Loop in 54:33, with splits of 11:23, 11:04, 10:48, 11:12, and 10:05.

35th Street Loop

I walked for a minute to start each approximate quarter mile, or four minutes a mile, to complete the 35th Street Loop in 43:49, with splits of 11:29, 10:57, 10:55, and 10:28.

I no longer plan to run another 5K anytime soon.

Yesterday I walked the Maple Street Loop in the morning and the Levy Loop in the evening.

33rd Street Loop

I measured the 33rd Street Loop moments before its inaugural running tonight. It's five miles, and uses streets common to the Park Hill, Levy, and 35th Street Loops. It avoids the climb into Park Hill, but includes Levy's longest and steepest hills (which, granted, are less than severe). I ran it through an unusually strong wind and soft rain using a technique I used a handful of times last fall and winter, alternating hard five-minute runs with easy three-minute. I finished in 46:01, with splits of 8:35, 8:44, 8:54, 9:46, and 10:02. My hard runs decreased from about an eight-minute pace to probably 9:30 over the final couple of miles, and the easy intervals from about nine to probably about 11 or 12. I was whipped. However, I was not so whipped that I could not have broken 10 minutes for the final mile or 46 minutes for the loop had I bothered to look at my watch the last block or so.

My fuel for this run was a pound of oysters I fried last night at about 10 p.m. Central, and an eight-inch pepperoni pizza and a supreme salad eaten at noon today at American Pie in Maumelle, far from ideal.

Sunday I ran about four miles through Hillcrest and Alsopp Park on Tom Zaloudek's Hash run. I walked the Levy Loop on Monday, yesterday, and this morning.

Park Hill Loop

I ran the Park Hill Loop in 52:07, with splits of 9:51, 10:35, 10:15, 11:05, and 10:21, through hard but comfortably cool rain tonight.

I walked the Maple Street Loop yesterday morning and ran the Levy Loop in 20:50 last evening.

North Little Rock High

I ran these an average of exactly two seconds faster than my previous best for 5X1000, but they hurt a bit more. My legs felt fine; still, I was huffing. I took intervals between 2:54-2:59, and got them in 4:56.1, 4:53.1, 4:50.3, 4:55.0, and 4:40.5.

Park Hill Loop

This is why I failed as a scientist: I ran the Park Hill Loop tonight with minimal effort, constantly nagging myself to slow down—"Come on, back off, save it for those thousands tomorrow"—kept checking my splits only to shake my head until I completed the course in 48:46, with miles of 9:23, 10:20, 9:47, 9:52, and a relaxed, easy 9:25, and have not so much as an inkling how it was possible.

No, wait. That's not true. Truth resides closer to the opposite; after roughly 10,000 experiments, conducted in my six-foot, 135-192 pound laboratory since 1974, my inklings are in fact innumerable. A scientist would have eliminated most, and I none.

Levy Loop

My legs felt livelier and quicker. I am not sure carbohydrate loading contributed to this effect, but I felt better running the Levy Loop than in my struggle last night and the pancakes I fried were delicious. I completed the loop, with eight minutes of walking, in 21:46. I walked the same loop this morning.

Gimblett Loop

My legs were dead tonight. I tried to find a pace slow enough to maintain comfort, but failed and trotted the Gimblett Loop in 53:32, with splits of 10:15, 11:08, 10:33, 10:57, and 10:40.

I did a little speed work on the Levy Loop yesterday morning, then jogged and walked about three miles on Basil Julian's Hash run at the Bell Slough game preserve, between Morgan and Mayflower on the Old Conway Highway, in the late afternoon. I walked and jogged the Levy Loop this morning.

Gimblett Loop

I ran the Gimblett Loop in 50:29, with splits of 9:56, 10:33, 10:14, 10:10, and 9:35. Noteworthy is that I saw for the first time while running this loop a Gimblet. Elaine was on her driveway, just past the two-mile mark, saying goodbye to guests.

My legs have recovered from Tuesday's 200s.

I walked the Maple Street Loop yesterday morning.

OVERHEARD

"This game could come down to which team can execute and make more plays."
— halftime analyst on ABC's Saturday night broadcast of Alabama vs. Virginia Tech. The other guy smiled, but did not say, "No shit," or "We're paying you for that? Why not just say, 'This game could come down to which team scores the most points.' Fucking idiot.' "

North Little Rock High

Maybe I should rethink this 200 monkey business. My legs felt beat to pieces through one 1000-meter attempt, completed in 5:01.8 at the North Little Rock High track (lighted by the last few minutes of North Little Rock's 38-0 victory over Little Rock Hall in a junior varsity football game at the adjacent stadium). My calves were sore; I knew that, but the first few strides disclosed a deep soreness in my hips. It might be a little late in the 5K season to disrupt my equilibrium with workouts like Tuesday's. I will consider doing fewer 200s, or running them slower, or limiting myself to the brief, morning sprints on the Levy Loop. I have felt exclusively great after each of those sessions. We'll see.

I walked the Levy Loop this and yesterday morning, and aborted an attempt of the Orange Street Loop after a block and a half last night.

North Little Rock High

I'm not sure what the temperature was when I began these intervals at the North Little Rock High track an hour or so ago, but it's 62 now, at 10:03 p.m Central. This was the first time I have worn a shirt at the track since last summer, I guess.

I felt fast tonight; ran all of the 8X200 meters in sprint fashion, on the balls of my feet. I took 90-second, 200 jog intervals, and got them in 46.5, 47.6, 46.5, 48.8, 47.2, 47.9, 48.8, and 43.1. I completed the two miles in 18:23.

This morning I did a bit of sprint work on the Levy Loop and finished in 23:40.

Friday morning I walked about two miles on the Foggy Bottom Drive Loop in St. Louis. I walked two miles, from Richard's front porch to the end of the black top on T Highway, with dogs Barnabas and Abigail, near the Current River in Carter County, Missouri, on Saturday night, and ran and walked three miles in Burns Park on Tim Biggs' Hash run Sunday afternoon. Yesterday morning I walked the Levy Loop.

Central Parkway-Kingsford-Foggy Bottom Street Loop

ST. LOUIS — I ran for 38:40, or about four miles, on the Central Parkway-Kingsford-Foggy Bottom Street Loop from Jim and Karen Perkins' house on Thursday night, with lightning flashes in the distance and under an almost pink, big-city haze.

I could not eat $25 of food at Busch Stadium this afternoon. However, I bought two, 16-ounce Bud Lights, a hot dog, a scorecard, and a St. Louis Cardinals pencil that, after tips, cost a total of $26.75. The hot dog was perfect.

I walked the Levy Loop yesterday morning before my drive to St. Louis.

OVERHEARD

"Monica said she thought you were beautiful, Dad. She was awed by your beautifulness."
— breathtakingly petepretty blonde teenager to her father in Section 335 of Busch Stadium during the top of the third inning of the Houston Astros' 4-3 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals

Gimblett Loop

I felt light tonight running the Gimblett Loop; only pushed it a little right at the end, literally the final 20 yards, to break 47 minutes. Don't ask why. I ran it in 46:58, with splits of 9:46, 9:55, 9:12, 9:26, and 8:39.

This morning I did a sprint routine similar to yesterday on the Levy Loop. I think it took a little over 24 minutes. This speed infatuation has come about in a bit of flash, though maybe somewhere in the recesses it's been there all along. Speed was the source of my first athletic success, almost unappreciated at the time, as a second grader at Chena Elementary. Recalling now, for the first time I think, I see a hazy view of a gymnasium and a shrug at beating all the boys in a sprint. I was from that point until people stopped measuring always at least nearly the fastest. So here I am for a moment trying to recapture the firmament of all I once was as a runner and will give it at least a good week of my interest.

Tomorrow I plan to drive to St. Louis. Jim has tickets for the Cardinals-Astros game on Thursday afternoon. I plan to leave for Richard's farm on Saturday morning, and return to Levy after I attend dad's Methodist church service on Sunday. I hope to run enough to at least partially balance all the food. My goal is to eat $25 worth at Busch Stadium. I'm not sure that's possible.

North Little Rock High

It was 69 degrees at 11 p.m. Central when I started 5X1000 meters at the North Little Rock High track, so perfect. I ran them, with three-minute, 200 intervals, in 5:03.9, 4:56.9, 4:49.3, 4:54.7, and 4:36.2.

I walked the Levy Loop on Saturday morning and the Maple Street Loop yesterday morning, and walked and jogged about five miles from Boyle Park on Saturday on Frost Bite's Hash run that included a dash across the No. 8 fairway at First Tee, a hike from the No. 8 green to the length of the No. 9 fairway, up into the parking lot and out onto University Avenue.

Raw speed was once my strength, but is now a quality that has deteriorated to near nonexistence. Cognizant of my proneness for well-planned pursuits surrendered shortly after their start, this morning I took the first steps toward speed enhancement. I progressed along the Levy Loop from a walk to easy jogs, short strides on the balls of my feet, to, near the end, dead sprints of 50 yards or so. The loop took me 22:50 to complete. I felt almost fast by the end; relatively fast. I ran 100 meters, considerably short of all-out, in 21.4 seconds as part of my warmup for tonight's 1000s.

North Little Rock High

I ran 8X200 meters with 200 jog intervals in 50.2, 49.5, 47.9, 48.5, 47.5, 48.8, 49.6, and 45.5. My intervals took between 83 and 87 seconds. The two miles took 17:43.

I walked the Levy Loop the last two mornings.

Orange Street Loop

I hoped to run the Orange Street Loop quickly tonight, but was interrupted by a tall blonde named Mary Lyons about a mile and a half into it and slowed to let her tag along. I covered the loop in 27:09, with splits of 8:43, 8:54, and 9:33. I felt great when Mary jogged up to me out of the dark and said, "Excuse me; could you tell me how far it is from one end of Maple Street to the other? Do you have any idea?" I guessed eight tenths of a mile. She said she didn't think it was quite that far as she began to jog beside me. I invited her to finish the loop with me. Mary said she usually ran at about 11 minutes a mile, so she was pushing it. It was easy for me. Mary said she, her husband, and four children recently moved to Levy from Sherwood.

North Little Rock High

I ran 5X1000 meters at the North Little Rock High track, with three-minute, 200 intervals, in 5:12.3, 5:01.4, 4:53.5, 4:52.0, and 4:45.0. They were easy.

Sunday I jogged and walked about three miles with Hashers at Camp Clearfork, and walked the Levy Loop the last three mornings.

Park Hill Loop

My legs felt awful tonight. I ran the Park Hill Loop in 52:36, with splits of 10:02, 10:44, 10:24, 10:53, and 10:33.

I walked the Levy Loop yesterday morning.

Gimblett-Maple Street Loop

I ran the Gimblett-Maple Street Loop, seven miles, in 1:08:17, with splits of 10:09, 10:35, 9:50, 10:04, 9:15, 9:35, and 8:48. It seemed easy through about four and a half miles, but thereafter hard.

I walked the Levy Loop this morning and spent about 90 minutes mowing my lawn, edging, and sweeping my sidewalk and driveway this afternoon. I'm tired, and hungrier and than two motherfuckers.

North Little Rock High

Not counting the Big Goddam Bridge Twilight 5K, how come I have run five times 1000 meter on three Saturdays, with no intervals, in averages of 4:58 (in May), 4:52 , and 4:47 (both in July), and can't run 5x1000 meters at a similar pace with a three-minute interval? There must be a reason. At any rate, why can't I figure out a way to complete this workout without exhausting myself whatever the pace? Tonight I tried to not look at my time, just run them by feel at a pace I felt I could maintain for five. I did three and a half and quit. I got them in 4:55.7, 4:45.9, and 4:48.2, and the final 500 in 2:33.8. I have run these nearly once a week since the middle of fucking April and they make me feel like an idiot. I'm going to give them one more try.

I walked the 35th Street Loop on Monday morning and played Rebsamen Park Golf Course with Jeff Krupsaw in the afternoon and scored a 107, with nines of 49 and 57. I had 3 pars, 5 bogies, 3 doubles, 5 triples, 1 quadruple, and 1 pentagonal and used 33 putts. I walked the Orange Street Loop yesterday morning. This morning I walked the Levy Loop.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE — Friday night, as I lay for sleep in my mother's guest-room bed, I noticed a sharp pain in my left breast. It felt like the result of someone having plunked me with a ball-peen hammer a day or two before. Saturday morning at about 6 a.m., I gave it a test run on Sunset Drive and Third Street. It still hurt. That, combined with mother's reluctance to join me for a 25-mile drive to and the subsequent crowd at the Watermelon Festival 5K in Hope, led me to skip the race and instead eat a big plate of eggs, bacon, and hash browns. The pain persisted throughout the day. I diagnosed it as lung cancer, which made me think more highly of my five-mile, out-and-back run on Old Center Point Road at 8:30 p.m. Central last night, covered in 49:26, with splits of 10:36, 10:24, 9:57, 9:23, and 9:06.

This morning the pain endures and has migrated through to my back, which gives it a familiar feeling. Perhaps it's not lung cancer and I have overrated my last run.

Friday morning I walked the Levy Loop.

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning and ran and walked about three miles with Ron Gimblet and Basil Julian at Rick Rainey's Hash run in Sherwood this evening.

North Little Rock High

Among my innumerable flaws, I for some reason find most egregious the one that insists I hold all current circumstances in relief of the past. Most at first glance label this sentimentality, which is good, because that misdiagnosis has probably gotten me laid more than any of my strengths; except those people eventually, as I long ago, realize it scrapes closer to insanity.

Tonight at the North Little Rock High track I ran an old workout, one introduced by Russellville High track coach Don Carnahan in the spring of 1977: 8X200 meters with 90-second, 200 jogs for intervals. We had to do them under 30 seconds while Coach Carnahan watched. I last did this workout on an April evening, 2004. Ashley came by unannounced that night with two 15-inch platters of pepperoni-pizza flavored cardboard from Lil' Caesars and I talked her into escorting me to the track. I ran the eight 200s in an average of 41 seconds while Ashley jogged and dashed a bit. As we tried to eat the pizza, before I tossed it in the garbage and grilled steaks and steamed asparagus, I told her about 1980, when I frequently did 16 in an average of 26; and furthermore how little I appreciated the fact I was doing something no more than 2,000 living Americans could do. Two-thousandth won't get you money or magazine stories, then or ever. Tonight I admired my performances from 29 years ago, and ran eight 200s in 52.1, 52.9, 51.3, 51.0, 48.6, 49.2, 49.4, and 46.8. They were easy, but only because my legs won't go fast enough to make them anything other. I covered the two miles of sprints and intervals in 18:42, after a 10:24 warmup mile. It's true; I am slow in every essential way, evidenced by my 200 times and revisions of 1977, 1980, and 2004.

I plan to visit my mother in Nashville tomorrow and Saturday, and might drive the 25 miles to Hope for the Watermelon Festival 5K on Saturday morning. My over-under is 24:08 if I do.

Park Hill Loop

I ran the Park Hill Loop tonight in 49:04, with splits of 10:07, 10:18, 9:42, 9:47, and 9:09.

Sunday I walked the Levy Loop and ran and walked about four miles in Burns Park on Bill Brass' Hash run. I walked the Levy Loop on Monday and Tuesday mornings, and played nine holes at Fort Roots with John Dumpster and Huggy on Monday and John Kelley and Tony the kind of Mexican-looking Hasher on Tuesday. I scored 45 the first day and fell apart the second. If I had kept score after the second hole, I probably would have scored about a, no kidding, 70.

Gimblett Loop

I ran the Gimblett Loop tonight in 47:53, with splits of 9:56, 10:10, 9:20, 9:37, and 8:50. It was 75 degrees when I started at about 8:45 p.m. Central, so nearly perfect for the first day of August in Levy.

Thursday afternoon I walked the Levy Loop. I ran it in 19:46 last night, and walked and jogged it in about 25 minutes this morning.

Park Hill Loop

I ran the Park Hill Loop in 49:17, with splits of 9:45, 10:25, 10:09, 9:55, and 9:03.

I walked the Levy Loop this morning, and the Maple Street Loop yesterday morning.

Jeff Krupsaw and I played the par-65 War Memorial Park Golf Course yesterday afternoon. I scored a 98, with nines of 51 and 47, with 2 pars, 7 bogies, 2 doubles, 4 triples, and 2 quadruples. I used 31 putts. Krupsaw scored a 101.

North Little Rock High

I ran 2X1000 meters, with three-minute, 200 intervals, and got about 350 into the third 1000 when I realized it was going to hurt more to continue than I was willing to endure. I got the two in 4:55.7 and 4:45.6.

Yesterday I walked two miles with Basil Julian and Bob McKinney on Kayce Smith's Hash Run near Pizza D'Action and the Arkansas School for the Deaf. I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning.

Dam Night Run 5K

ARKADELPHIA — I went through two miles in 14:55, with splits of 7:27 and 7:28, and thought I might break 23 minutes at the Dam Night Run 5K and suddenly felt awful, capitulated to an onset of agony, and went through the third mile in 8:08 and sprinted to give Rick from Benton, with whom I road, along with his 10-year-old daughter Emee, on a flat-bed truck to the start line, the inspiration after he looked at my watch to say, "Congratulations on losing your bet."

I finished in 23:50.8.

Erin Vratil took the under on 23:54 and consequently won $3.

I walked the Orange Street Loop yesterday and this morning.

35th Street Loop

I ran the 35th Street Loop in 35:32 with splits of 8:59, 8:58, 8:52, and 8:44. Crazy. My life is, of course, a succession of over-unders and I put the over-under on the first mile at 9:30 ten steps before I passed its marker, a large tree near the chiropractic clinic on Orange Street. I saw 8:59 and worried for a moment, but was comfortable and remained so throughout. It's such a delight to feel light and fast, even as a 50-year-old has-been when such feelings coalesce in an 8:52.98 pace for four miles.

This makes four consecutive relatively fast days, a Sunday removed from running fifteen and a half miles, and I am not sure what the result of them will be Saturday at the Dam Night Run 5K. My over-under: 23:54.

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning.

North Little Rock High

This is the way these are supposed to be, I think. I ran 4X1000 meters, with 200 intervals of 2:55, 2:47, and 2:55, in 5:01.6, 4:52.4, 4:45.8, and 4:32.3 at the North Little Rock High track. Maybe I should warm up a bit more; I felt far smoother on the final than the first. None were hard, and it was easy to continue at a jog for 800 meters when I finished.

I walked the Levy Loop this morning. Last night I ran the Maple Street Loop in 17:06 with splits of 8:48 and 8:18, and walked the Levy Loop yesterday morning.

Orange Street Loop

As sore as I am now from Saturday's run and as easily as I ran tonight, I was surprised to complete the Orange Street Loop in 27:15, with splits of 9:22, 8:56, and 8:57.

I walked two miles of Dumpster's and Huggy Beer's Hash run in Maumelle yesterday and the Maple Street Loop this morning.

Midnight 25K

WILLIAMS JUNCTION — I took 1:43:07 to get to the turnaround of the Midnight 25K in the Ouachita National Forest. Elaine Gimblett and Jayme Sturgeon manned the station, and I was hungry and there was a cute, 20-year-old short-haired blonde from Morrilton there, so I lingered for 5 minutes, 3 seconds. I felt great, having a little blood-sugar trouble, but still was stoked, had no idea; I ran back in 1:17:21 to finish in 3:05:31.

This negative-split business is getting out of hand. Granted, the course is uphill going out, but the difference is not acute enough to explain a 13:18 pace followed by 9:59.

Nevertheless, I am happy. I ran every step of the way back. My legs are dead, which probably wipes out my chance for a good result at the Dam Night Run 5K next weekend, but fuck it.

And, oh yeah, this was my 365th consecutive day of doing no less than a two-mile walk. I ran and walked 1,570 miles this year, for an average of 4.3 miles a day, or 30.1 miles a week.*

Yesterday I walked the Maple Street Loop in the morning, the Levy Loop in the afternoon, and walked the Maple Street Loop this morning.

*If I average my mileage from today next year, I will cover 6,570 miles, or 126 miles a week.

35th Street Loop

Tim Cooper drove us to Louisiana Downs in Bossier City/Shreveport, where he won about $125, and I $18.20. We drove into Coop's driveway at about 9:30 p.m. Central. Maybe 25 minutes later, I began a slow jog of the 35th Street Loop. I ran as easily as I could to complete the loop in 41:37, with splits of 10:32, 10:31, 10:23, and 10:10 and felt great. I hope to feel so good 48 hours from now; tonight I felt I could have gone forever.

My over-under for the Midnight 25K is 3:05:59.

Gimblett Loop

Almost four years ago, on July 23, 2005, I ran the Midnight 25K in 3:30:04 and was delighted, I guess because I hadn't attempted any long runs and was drinking a lot. I finished with negative splits typical of my recent long races; out in 1:57:54 and back in 1:32:10. I wrote afterward, at 1:09 a.m., "I felt very, very good. All I wish now is for Pam to stop meowing so loudly. And she will. Within an hour she will be asleep at my feet."

A month earlier, I ran 4X1000 meters in 4:27.0, 4:23.0, 4:17.8, and 4:14.2. I detect little congruity between that and my satisfaction over a three-hour, thirty-minute 25K, and wonder how now I can imagine running 25 kilometers under three hours. I ran a 5K in 22:54 the next weekend. I will have to study my over-under for this weekend.

I jogged and walked the Gimblett Loop in 58:18 tonight, with splits of 12:08, 12:10, 11:21, 11:26, and 11:13.

Yesterday morning I walked the Maple Street Loop, and this morning the Levy Loop.

North Little Rock High

These went a little better than last week. I ran 4X1000 meters, with a three-minute, 200-meter interval, in 5:02.0, 4:42.7, 4:46.0, and 5:05.4. The first one was easy, which was the idea. The second felt easy; I just misplaced my pace judgement. Likewise on the third, so that the final was a struggle far from the idea. Maybe I'll smarten up someday.

Park Hill Loop

I jogged and walked the Park Hill Loop in 57:36, with splits of 11:56, 11:48, 11:29, 11:10, and 11:14. That's about the pace I would like to maintain through 25 kilometers of the Midnight 50K on Saturday. I hope the weather is nicer. It's 11:22 p.m. Central, and still 86 degrees.

BDB Twilight 5K

This confirms my idiocy. Two or three days ago, I registered online for the BDB Twilight 5K. "BDB" did not register with me. "Get the fuck out of my way you acronymic son of a bitch," I said. "Twilight 5K, down on that flat-as-my-singing-voice course along the river. Sounds good." I ignored "BDB." Didn't consider it.

Afterward I told Hillary DeMillo I didn't know the race would go over the Big Dam Bridge, which doesn't seem nearly so steep when walked across holding pretty girls' hands. She said, "BDB. Didn't that tell you something?"

"Is that what it was? BDB? No, it didn't. I didn't even read it, just brushed by it like all those other meaningless acronyms for bullshit diseases I don't believe in."

In truth, I felt awful anyway. My splits for the first two miles were 8:19 and 9:08. I slowed to a walk at the end of the second mile, walked for exactly five minutes, looked at my watch, at something like 22:30, and decided to try to break 30 minutes, which was, I soon discovered, a conservative goal. I guess I ran in at about an eight-minute pace; flew past fat men and little kids and old people through the third mile in 10:31 to finish in 28:45.

A handful of the people I passed resisted. I recall one in particular; a muscular, short-haired brunette woman perhaps 25 years old. She responded to my passing with something close to a sprint. She charged ahead. There was a half mile left. She shortly buckled, and I turned to her and said, "Dear, I am not of you. I have crossed into your paradigm through a membrane of temporary exhaustion. I am now revived, and you are consequently in my world of 24-minute 5K totality. You have two choices: assimilate or succumb."

What's nice is, I stuffed my short pants with a dozen 0.6 ounce tubes of Neutrogena UltraSheer Dry-Touch Sunblock with a skin-protection formula of 70. That should be a lifetime supply.

35th Street Loop

This was the best I have felt running since late April. I ran the 35th Street Loop in 38:02, with splits of 9:38, 9:28, 9:22, and 9:35. I didn't feel great, didn't float along, but it wasn't hard and I was never stressed; a good sign is that I had to remind myself to slow down. I have registered for a 5K near Rebsamen Park Golf Course. It starts at 7:30 in the evening this Saturday. My over-under is 24:15.

I walked the Maple Street Loop at about 2 p.m. Central.

North Little Rock High

I ran 4X1000 meters, with three-minute, 200 intervals, in 4:57.0, 4:46.1, 5:00.2, and 5:18.0. I felt sluggish from the start, nearly exhausted after the second, and backed off for the final two, though they were not easy. It was nice at the North Little Rock High track so late; I was one of five people there.

I walked the Maple Street Loop on Monday morning, and the Levy Loop yesterday morning and early this afternoon.

Hash

I set the second-annual Miracle Mile for the Little Rock Hash House Harriers. Then it rained like two motherfuckers, so I set it again. John Kelley won the men's division in 6:06. Lacey won the women's race in 8:17. Then it again rained like two motherfuckers, and 20 people crammed onto my front porch for two hours.

Firecracker Fast 5K

Here's what I want for an early Christmas present: The Cal Ripken Jr. batting DVD, so I can make an American or National League roster and obviously enhance my chance of winning Beat the Streak, but more assuredly to gain free access to a sports psychologist and therefore perhaps eliminate whatever the stress or anxiety disorder is that keeps me from sleeping the night before goddamn 5Ks.

I slept for 15 minutes last night. From roughly 4:15-4:30 a.m., I dreamt former neighbor John Lucas and current neighbor Tom Jennings were on my front porch, with several of their friends, playing with my cats and trying to get me to join them as they smoked marijuana. The rest of the time I read the last 100 pages of Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood, and the first 100 of Richard Russo's Straight Man. Then I got up, drove to the Heights, and followed in the wake of an armada of Kenyans, Leah Thorvilson, high school girls, and an assortment of skinny people twice my age to the finish of the Firecracker Fast 5K in 24:21, with mile splits of 7:52, 7:39, and 8:05.

Levy trek

I wandered slowly around Levy for 32 minutes at about 6:30 this morning, aimlessly, a bit like Haruki Murakami's character Naoko walks around Tokyo in the novel Norwegian Wood, except he reported nothing about her smelling bacon every two blocks.

My over-under for the Firecracker Fast 5K remains 24:30, though I returned an hour or so ago from eating a very large plastic basket full of catfish at the fish restaurant in Conway with Walt Webb. We first drove to Backwoods Barbecue in Greenbrier, but it was closed. Its new owner was inside with his son "refurbishing," said they should reopen late next week. I'm fearful.

North Little Rock High

This qualifies as a tempo run, I believe. I warmed up for three laps, and ran 1000 meters in 4:44.4, or a 23:42 5K pace, at the North Little Rock High track tonight. The idea was to run at a pace I felt I could maintain for another 4000 meters. I think I went too quickly; I felt clunky with odd feelings spread about. Maybe I will feel fresher 36 hours from now. My over-under is 24:30. We'll see.

I walked the old four-mile Ridge Road Loop on Tuesday morning, the Maple Street Loop Tuesday night, and the Levy Loop last night. This morning I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 25:53.

Hash/North Little Rock High

This wasn't the weather's fault. Today was lovely. I think it got up to 92. It was 87 with a heat index of, 87 when I drove to the track at about 7:45 p.m. Central. It was 79 a minute ago after I walked in. No, my legs were dead for this perfect southern summer evening because I suck. I ran 3X6X200 meters and probably should have slowed halfway through the first one to walk with the fat people. I got them in 55.0, 58.2, 52.9, 55.3, 52.2, and 54.7; 56.0, 54.9, 55.3, 57.3, 49.9, and 56.1; and 56.3, 56.9, 55.1, 57.6, 58.4, and 57.0. I jogged and walked 500 meters through the dry cool air to complete four miles in 41:25. I wasn't breathing particularly hard, not bent over double or anything like that, my legs just felt like old and wet discarded wood.

Yesterday John Kelley set a course for walkers. It went from his house to mine, almost directly. Earlier he put a cooler full of Coors Light and water on my front porch. Ron Gimblett, Corky Zoloudek, and I walked 17 minutes to the porch, sat there with Jo for 20 minutes while I drank a beer and Ron and Corky bottles of water, buzzing the whole while about how nice it was relative to the shock of humidity the day before, and walked back. We were out for 55 minutes and did not shed a drop of sweat.

Park Hill Loop

I have been a weather nerd most of my life but can't recall hearing tell of the meteorological circumstance I experienced tonight. Right before I started my run of the Park Hill Loop, at about a quarter 'til nine, weather.com reported it was 89 degrees with heat index of, no shit, 106. Has anyone other than tonight's inhabitants of Levy witnessed a 17-degree difference between the temperature and the "feels like" figure? How many people can say they've seen the moon and a heat index of 106 at the same time? Jiminy Cricket, make room Chris (just for the hell of it, I checked and it was 59 degrees in Port Fucking Hawkesbury).

On top of running in a city-size bowl of very salty asphalt soup, my blood sugar went haywire. It's a good thing I planned to go 10 miles and thus had enough Gu to remember where I was and who I am. I walked two minutes during each of the first three miles, three minutes through the fourth, and I'm not sure how many on the fifth, to finish in 56:40, with splits of 10:56, 11:55, 11:15, 11:36, and 10:58.

I walked jogged the Maple Street Loop in 24:35 this morning, and walked the Levy Loop at about noon yesterday.

North Little Rock High

My legs felt springy and light tonight, but I responded by running these too fast. I did 3X6X200, with intervals of 54-59 between the 200s, and 3:40 and 3:43 between sets, in 55.2, 54.4, 52.8, 52.8, 52.6, and 50.6; 53.0, 54.6, 53.2, 52.4, 51.2, and 49.4; and 52.3, 53.3, 52.2, 49.8, 51.8, and 49.4. I then walked for 100 meters and jogged 400 to complete four miles in 40:31.

These kind of hurt, not the idea according to Coach Elias, not for 50-year-old men who aren't on track scholarships or trying to make money on the European circuit. I ran them in a average of 52.3.

Park Hill Loop

Man, I struggled through this. I was a little disappointed to see it was only 82 degrees 10 minutes after I finished my run of the Park Hill Loop. Seventy-seven percent humidity made it "feel like" 88 according to weather.com. It felt like a zillion to me. Plus, fuck, why is it that when it's 45 and dry as a turkey breast the wind blows 50 miles an hour and on nights like tonight the air's as dead as my grandparents?

The loop took me 51:47, with splits of 10:31, 10:44, 10:14, 10:22, and 9:57, and I felt awful every step of the way, like there was a wet electric blanket wrapped around me.

Early yesterday evening I walked two miles with mother around Nashville City Park. What delighted me was that mom, on her first walk of the year after nearly six months of three-times-a-week working on a bunch of aerobic machines at the old-folks fitness center sponsored by the Howard County Medical Center, walked like an Olympian. I'm not kidding; I almost asked her to slow down. "Jiminy Cricket, Mother, why. ...you're walking great."

North Little Rock High

I walked the Levy Loop last night and the Maple Street Loop this morning.

This evening I ran 3X1000 meters in 5:00.7, 4:49.8, and 4:39.9 at the North Little Rock High track, with one mile up and another down. I felt pretty good; somewhat confident I could have maintained the 23:20 5K pace of the last 1000 for a while. It was 92 degrees when I left my house at about 7:45 Central.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It feels like a sauna bath out here."

— large woman in knicker-length black tights walking around the North Little Rock High track

Levy Loop/Rebsamen Park Golf Course/Maple Street Loop

I was disappointed tonight; it felt like I was wearing a thousand-pound backpack. I started with an intent to run 10 miles, but about 50 yards past the first mile of the Park Hill and Maple Street Loops, turned east up Hillside Drive off Maple to abort my Park Hill-Gimblett Loop attempt. I finished the Maple Street Loop in 19:32, with splits of 9:57 and 9:35.

I sat on my couch for about five minutes at 4:30 this morning and debated whether or not to drive to Smackover for the Oil Run 5K. Sleepiness insisted I return to bed and I capitulated, which also disappoints me.

Yesterday I walked the Levy Loop and played Rebsamen Park with Rob Wistrand in 120, my highest score since the summer of 1995.

The White Sox are probably beating the cow shit out of Cincimotherfuckingnnati.

Pinnacle Loop

I started the Pinnacle Loop at 7:11 a.m Central today, or about three and a half hours earlier than last Saturday. It was cooler. I got it in 1:47:20, with splits of 16:57, 31:00 (20:48 up the rock wall), 18:55, 22:16, and 18:12. I ran the loop 7:39 faster than last time, most of that gained on the final two stages, around the base trail and on the Ouachita Trail back, which I did 6:54 faster. Also, I cut the rock-wall split from 23:42 to 20:48. I cannot imagine that I once did it in 15 minutes.

I feel much better sitting on my couch now than I did at about 1 p.m. Saturday, and am confident I will recover in time for a race in two days (though this will qualify as "training through").

North Little Rock High

I did these on Wednesday instead of Thursday because I plan to run the Oil Run 5K in Smackover on Saturday. We'll see.

These felt easier than last week, though I believe I went a little faster.* I ran 3X6X200 meters, with 60-second, 100-meter intervals between the 200s and four-minute 400s between the sets (I cheated a bit on the intervals, ranging between 54 and 58 seconds between the 200s and 3:38-3:41 between the sets). I got the first set in 56.5, 57.3, 53.7, 55.4, 52.5, and 54.6; the second in 56.0, 57.2, 52.8, 54.1, 52.5, and 51.0; and the third in 54.0, 55.0, 53.0, 53.0, 51.9, and 46.9. I continued jogging after the final 200 for 500 meters to complete four miles (actually 6400 meters, or about 35 yards short of four miles) in 40:27.

I walked and jogged a mile down in 12:25 to complete five miles in 52:52 and felt great.

When I showed up, there were three 30-something guys in the crowd of walkers doing fast intervals (three laps, or 1200s, at about a 5:10 mile pace). They were there when I finished, helped clear a path throughout, and made me less of an oddball.

*about two hours later, I went to the four-and-a-half minute bother of adding the times from tonight and last Thursday and dividing by 18 to determine that indeed I did go faster. Last week I averaged 53.79 seconds; tonight, 53.74. At this rate of improvement, I will reach the speed of light approximately 15 minutes before the Universe is declared void.

Levy Loop

I ran the Levy Loop in 19:25, with splits of 10:10 and 9:15. According to my watch, purchased today at a Timex outlet store located close to the softball fields you can see from the Fort Roots' river bluff when they're lighted, my "best" split was 9:14.73 and I averaged 9:42.47. The watch cost $15 and keeps 100 splits, for when I'm up to 50X1000 meters.

North Little Rock High

Man, these were nice, and easy. I am about ready to subscribe to the Comfortably-Tired Interval Technique.

Tonight I did 3X1000 meters with circa three-minute, 200-meter walk intervals. Yes, three. Not five. The last time I did three, I ran two miles in 15:21 two days later and felt confident I could've maintained that pace through five kilometers. The last time I did five, it took me a month to recover. I got them in 5:10.4, 4:58.2, and 4:40.9. I am unsure how much energy I kept covered, but I'm guessing I could've run the last one at least 30 seconds faster.

A good sign was my three-quarter mile warmdown; I walked 200 meters and then planned when I started jogging to go half a lap and slow to a walk, but forgot and just kept jogging.

I never looked at my watch, except during the intervals, and with 200 meters left of the final 1000. That was the point at which I passed two miles, where I was pleased to see I went through in 19:46. That's a pretty good two-mile time, considering I walked 400 meters of it in a total of 5:53.8.

Now, back to the Angels-Giants on MLB.TV. My man, Giant Aaron Rowand, is 0-3 through five innings with three strikeouts. What could I do? There isn't a motherfucking South American on either roster.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof, shit detector."
— Ernest Hemingway, from a 1958 interview by George Plimpton for the Paris Review

Hash

Tom Zaloukek and I spent 45 minutes on Reverend Bob's Hash run, set about halfway between the Wal-Mart Super Center and Pinnacle Mountain, talking about Beat the Streak. We probably covered a little over three miles.

Maple Street Loop/Pinnacle Loop

Last evening I jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop in 24:52.

This morning, starting at about 10:30 Central, I ran the Pinnacle Loop in 1:54:59.

The Pinnacle Loop starts at the Pinnacle Mountain Visitor's Center, follows the Ouachita Trail to the Pinnacle Mountain east parking lot, goes over Pinnacle to the west parking lot, along the base trail to the east lot, and on the Ouachita Trail back to the Visitor's Center. I believe it's about six miles.

I kept splits: It took 16:38 to the east lot, 33:49 to the top (23:42 from the base of the rocks to the top), 17:20 down, 27:03 on the base trail, and 20:09 back (of course, these splits are meaningless without the reference point established today, except for the base of the rocks to the top, which I did in 15:15 when I frequented the loop in 2003).

Best I can tell from my diary, I ran the Pinnacle Loop seven times from late April through mid-June of 2003. My times were 1:24:20, 1:31:18, 1:32:06, 1:32:43, 1:35:57, 1:38:40, and 1:42:34.

Next time (if there is one) I will try to start earlier, when it's cooler, or wait until evening, when it's drier, which I did exclusively in 2003.

NOTEWORTHY

WOULD YOU RATHER?

As I neared the top of Pinnacle Mountain from the east parking lot, a father approached with his c. 12- and 10-year-old daughters as they descended. I heard the father say, "Honey, don't worry so much about that bee that you fall."

"Would you rather be stung by a bee, or fall?" the 12-year-old said.

"I think I'd rather be stung," Dad said.

"That's a pretty good would-you-rather," I said.

The father laughed and said, "It is. Would you rather be stung by a bee or fall down Mount Pinnacle?"

"I'd have to go with the bee," I said.

"Me too."

"It's probably a little tougher for kids their age. They could fall and get right back up."

"That's right. They could roll all the way down the mountain and maybe skin their knees."

"We, on the other hand, would break every bone in our bodies."

NO SPRINT

I felt compelled to explain my time of 1:54:59 the instant I saw it. I did not rush to the finish to break 1:55. Granted, I would have had I looked at my watch the final minute, but did not.

I was however conscious of my time for the final 400 yards or so, a rocky, steep section from the Pinnacle Mountain Visitor's Center to Pinnacle Valley Road. It took me 2:30 for the descent going out, and 4:29 coming back.

BLOOD SUGAR

My blood glucose was at 176 when I awoke at 8 a.m. Central. I took one unit of short-term insulin (Novolog) and four of the long-term (Levemir). I drank a glass of iced coffee before I left my house, and ate two tubes of Gu during the run. It was at 142 when I returned home.

I did not suspect hypoglycemia at any point, but still planned to eat a tube of Gu at the top of Pinnacle Mountain. I forgot.

Shortly after I started the base trail on my return, I felt almost faint. Then I remembered the Gu. I ate a tube, felt better within minutes, and ate another at the east parking lot water fountain, and felt relatively fine the rest of the way, able to run all but the inclines.

OVERHEARD

"I wouldn't either, but I don't want to scare people."

— father to his 12-year-old daughter after she said, "I wouldn't wear a shirt if I was a boy."

North Little Rock High

I believe Kirk Elias said I should finish interval sessions feeling "comfortably tired." That's about how I felt tonight. I did a one-mile, jog-walk warmup, then 3X6X200 meters, with one-minute, 100-meter intervals between the 200s, and about a four-minute, 400-meter walk between sets. I ran the first set in 58.4, 57.5, 55.4, 53.4, 52.7, and 52.3; the second in 55.2, 55.6, 55.8, 54.4, 52.7, and 52.2; and the third in 56.0, 53.9, 53.8, 52.4, 50.8, and 45.7. Then I walked and jogged a mile down in about 12 minutes.

Ridge Road Loop

I did not struggle, but was never close to comfortable on the four-mile, hilly Ridge Road Loop. It has turned summer out of the hazy blue-white; 87 at noon. With 62-percent humidity, Weather.com says the it "feels like" 94.

I jogged for the final minute of each five, except went two minutes down the 47th Street hill near the finish, and otherwise walked slowly to cover the loop in 53:30, with splits of 14:04, 13:38, 13:09, and 12:39, and soon will drive to Wal-Mart to buy a handful of sweatbands.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"It's too hot, man."

— a bearded, 40-year-old man, wearing a St. Louis Cardinals hat, a sleeveless white T-shirt, and driving a white Chevy SUV, after he saw me slow to a walk near the former Pickle estate.

Gimblett Loop

I walked for a total of 20 minutes and ran the Gimblett Loop in 54:24, with splits of 11:16, 11:15, 10:33, 11:01, and 10:18.

North Little Rock High

I walked and jogged a one-mile warmup, stretched, but decided against intervals. I feel slightly feverish this evening. Instead, I jogged a mile around the track and fat black women in 10:41.

Hash

I ran and walked with Basil Julian and Rick Rainey for about 45 minutes through Boyle Park on Corky Zaloudek's Hash run this afternoon. We probably covered three and a half miles. It was nearly 90 and very humid. Afterward I drank two cans of Diet Dr. Pepper and ate nearly an entire bag of Cheetos.

Maple Street Loop/Levy Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop in 25:10 late this morning, and tonight jogged the Levy Loop in 20:52.

Maple Street Loop/Fort Roots

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop in 24:01 this morning. Two hours later, Crutch Aikman called. He was in town for a meeting. We ate lunch. Afterward, my having two good sets of golf clubs paid off for the first time. We played nine holes at Fort Roots, my first game since March 24.

We didn't keep a scorecard. I went, I believe, 6, 7, 8, 5, 4, 5, 4, 6, and 6, for a 51, or from awful to well. Crutch scored somewhere in that neighborhood. It was 75, dry with a light breeze, and the course was as fit as it gets. We laughed hard.

The birdie on No. 7 consisted of a pulled, 240-yard drive to the southern edge of the eighth fairway (retrieved and returned as we searched by two guys in a cart on No. 8), a pitching wedge to the fringe, and a putt three feet past.

Levy Loop

I jogged the Levy Loop in 19:28, with splits of 10:06 and 9:22.

T Highway

VAN BUREN, Mo. — I ran or ran and walked two miles on T Highway from my father's farm on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings. I only ran non-stop once, when I went from the front porch to the first telephone pole after T Highway turns from pavement to gravel and back in 21:02.

35th Street Loop

I walked for two minutes each quarter mile, or a total of 32 minutes, to complete the 35th Street Loop in 49:21, with splits of 12:39, 12:39, 12:05, and 11:58.

Maple Street Loop/Section 13

Last night I walked the Maple Street Loop in 30 minutes. This morning I won the Little Rock Hash House Harriers' Great Cross Country Race for the second consecutive year, simply by walking out for 15 minutes and jogging back for about 10 without getting lost at Section 13. I ate two cheeseburgers, two hot dogs, and eight Fig Newtons, and flirted with an eighth-grader from Russellville named Beth who won the women's division and has a 5K PR of 21 minutes. Her grandparents and mother were impressed by my interest (Gary walked over and said, "You know, Pete is a sportswriter for the Democrat-Gazette. He might do a story on your daughter, right Pete?"), so I had them arrested.

Gimblett Loop

This was easy and, consequently, a surprise and pleasure. I jogged the Gimblett Loop in 49:41, with splits of 10:12, 10:22, 9:48, 9:55, and 9:24.

Levy Loop

I jogged the Levy Loop in 20:17, with splits of 10:01 and 10:16, and am geared to cheer for Ichiro Suzuki this afternoon. He has hit .420 in Seattle's previous 12 day games. It's not too late to change. Evan Longoria? Fuck. Do what?

Oh. Jo thanks you for the birthday wish. "Is that the girl with the arm I liked so much?"

Orange Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

It feels a little like summer today; 85, a hazy, almost white sky. I walked the Orange Street Loop in 43:37, with a couple hundred yards of jogging during the final mile. I injured my neck early Monday morning and believe it will prevent much running for a day or so.

After a day of ibuprofen-and-ice, I walked for a total of four minutes and otherwise jogged the Maple Street Loop in 20:26, with splits of 10:14 and 10:12 and felt okay.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in about thirty minutes this morning.

Hash

We started from a gravel parking lot on Arkansas 10, 11 miles west of I-430, and ran about three miles through rain and mud and knee-deep water on some otherwise lovely trails near Lake Maumelle.

Maple Street Loop

I jogged the Maple Street Loop in 18:58.

Last week, on Thursday, May 14, I failed to note I reached my 300th consecutive day of at least walking two miles. I ran or walked 1,320 miles from July 19, 2008 through then, or an average of exactly 4.4 miles a day. That's 30.8 miles a week.

Maple Street Loop/35th Street Loop

My knees feel fine.

Last night at about 10:30 Central I ran the Maple Street Loop, after losing $9:30 at Oaklawn Park on a trip with Tim Cooper, in 20:23, with splits of 10:11 and 10:12.

Today I ran and walked the 35th Street Loop in 43:26, with splits of 11:01, 10:55, 10:47, and 10:43. I walked one minute at the start and after each approximate quarter mile, or 16 times.

Levy Loop

This is the first time I recall hypoglycemia injuring my legs. Both knees feel bruised. The left, just below and to the outside of the kneecap, has a little functional damage. I found a gait this morning, somewhere between 10 and 10:30 a mile, that felt comfortable and supportable, and ran the final four minutes of each five to complete the Levy Loop in 22:00, with splits of 11:33 and 10:27. I ran for a total of 16:23. My knee hurt as I ran from the jump, but not after the first couple of minutes. It hurts when I walk. I am on an ibuprofen-and-ice regimen.

I was pleased to discover such limited backlash, particularly after a painful, 8 a.m. walk to the bathroom, and to have been exempt from any hint of fatigue. Perhaps this will catalyze a more indefatigable pace for my easy days.

Levy Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Loop this morning in 26:25. An odd and rare early-evening hypoglycemic bout kept me off the road tonight, but not from making a mess of my kitchen, bruising my knees, and watching disappointing performances for three of the four Levi Ghetto Cats.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop, after five hours in the yard, in 28:43 (I jogged for maybe a minute).

Here's coincidence: At Hash yesterday, Mike Wickline told me about a trip he made to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. He said he went to a Mariners-Oakland Athletics game; "I said, 'Hey, there's that Kurt Suzuki guy Perkins was telling me about." Wickline said Suzuki got two hits. And then, son of bitch, you (Erin) picked him tonight and he hit again. I love that No. 8 hitter.

Hash

Ron Gimblet set the run from a small, little-known picnic area not far from the rugby field in Burns Park. I was out for 55 minutes; probably covered five miles. It was fun. I was penalized afterward for having finished third in the 50-54 men's category of the Paws on the Pavement 5K (I brought the plaque they gave me), and because Corky brought me photographs from a women's magazine of a bathroom she and Karen Biggs agreed looked like "Pete's bathroom." Fuck.

Paws on the Pavement 5K

Here's my excuse: I slept from 4-6:26 a.m., awoke clung to a hypoglycemic dream in which I fucked the girlfriend of a Ouachita Baptist baseball player in a high-dollar Arkadelphia hotel, inspired I believe by a three-hour read of Underworld (including a description that rung to me of Chris Vratil; "It was not easy keeping pace with Sims. He had the plodding force of an ex-boxer who still has reserves of deep endurance, oil reserves, fossil fuel—he had calories to burn, sweat to yield in abundance.").

I finished third among men aged 50-54, in 24:54, with splits of 7:59, 7:59, 8:06, and 50 seconds for the final roughly 10th of a mile. They gave me a nice plaque.

About halfway through the final mile I considered quitting, backing off to an easy jog, but before I bridled my effort, a man named Harold Hayes I passed near the two-mile mark said, "Pete, don't look now, but you're about to be passed by three good-looking girls."

"Tell them to come on by."

"Would it be all right if I just drafted on you for a while?" one said.

"Be my guest."

They charged by and opened a 10-yard gap. But they stuck there. It seemed odd. Something about that and a thought of discomfort endured on 1000-meter repeats combined to offer ballast and an awareness of a chance to break 25 minutes. Not that I cared, indeed was a little embarrassed, I accelerated and retook my position and pulled away to the finish.

I got a nice laugh over this; about two minutes into the second mile, as we crossed a 15-foot-wide bridge on the Murray Park River Trail, a grouchy 60-year-man disguised as a rainbow trout on a $6,000 bike rode into us and said, "Get out of my way."

"You could say, 'Please,' " someone said.

"Wow, a bike rider being a dickhead," I said. "You don't see that more than all the time."

Maple Street Loop

This was a pretty good test drive, I think. I ran the final of each five minutes and otherwise walked the Maple Street Loop in 23:12, so walked for a total of four minutes. That's an odd way to average 11:36 a mile, but I felt fresh and lively-legged and am encouraged enough to reset my over-under for tomorrow's Paws on Pavement 5K at 24:17. There is this to consider, however; Crutch told me he probably won't come, meaning there's a 99.99996 percent chance he will not. So I might not get up, meaning there's a 47.804 percent chance I will not. We'll see.

North Little Rock High

I took it easy, but these did not feel nearly as comfortable as I hoped. I ran 6X200 meters with 60 second intervals at the North Little Rock High track. My plan was to run the first in 54 and drop a second on each of the following. I ran them in 52.8, 52.9, 51.9, 50.2, 49.8, and 48.2. My over-under for Saturday's 5K is 24:26.

Levy Loop

My plan was to run a modified tempo run, one mile hard along the Levy Loop tonight, but my legs were lifeless this morning as I walked and jogged the Levy Loop in 26:38 and have remained so throughout. Oh well. Maybe next Tuesday I should eat a couple of Banquet fried chicken dinners, drink an aluminum can of Budweiser, watch a baseball game, and run at midnight, thus ensuring five miles in roughly 52 minutes. Point is, I skipped tonight and am about to watch the Reds. If they beat Arizona, they'll be tied for first in the NL Central and lead the NL wildcard standings, unbelievable accomplishments for the piece-of-shit Cincinnati Reds a quarter of the way through the season.

Gimblett Loop

This was easy. I ran the Gimblett Loop tonight in 47:38, with splits of 9:50, 10:11, 9:18, 9:16, and 9:04. My legs felt pretty sharp all day, including this morning when I walked and jogged the Levy Loop in 24:30.

North Little Rock High

I warmed up for about a mile with lots of stretching and what-not, ran 500 meters in 2:26, then walked and jogged another half mile and drove home, in time to start watching baseball at 7 p.m. Central. I was glad to see all of the Levi Ghetto Cats get hits tonight.

This morning I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop in 27:09.

Hash

I ran with the Hash from an obscure park not far from Little Rock Hall High School and Tom and Corky's house, probably covered about three miles, most of it with Walt Webb and later Kayce Smith. We walked most of it through soft but cold rain.

Sunset Street

NASHVILLE —I took a can of white spray paint and drove five miles from my mother's house on Old Centerpoint Road and painted stripes at Miles 1 through 5 on Friday night. Then it rained all day Saturday, and turned relatively cold by dark. The temperature dropped to the mid-50s. I was unprepared to run through 55-degree rainfall, so waited until it stopped at nearly midnight and, full of beef and cheese and potatoes, walked about two miles in about 30 minutes from mother's front door.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in 29:12.

Orange Street Loop

I did the three-mile Orange Street Loop, with a total of eight minutes of very slow, easy jogging, in 41:44.

Levy Loop tempo

Before my next tempo run I'm gonna eat pork chops and biscuits and gravy, three egg yolks, and drive for five hours. Tonight I ran the Levy Loop in 16:18, with splits of 8:07 and 8:11, and it was way harder than last week's 15:21. I think I'll take a couple of days off, maybe golf.

This disappointed me, but not enough to overcome the joy of my reemergence as King® of the Levi Ghetto Cats.

Gimblett Loop

I guess this is a good sign: My legs were dead and clunky and I tried hard to go slowly and still ran the Gimblett Loop in 48:16, with splits of 10:09, 9:55, 9:26, 9:45, and 9:01. I found a hole in the rain on the weather.com radar. It was dry when I began, misty for three miles or so, drizzly for a mile, and then it fucking poured the last mile.

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in a little under 27 minutes, plus I mowed my lawn, so this was a great calorie-burning day.

North Little Rock High

I should probably call Kirk Elias because these were too fucking hard. To paraphrase, he said, "When you get to be our age, you have to walk away from intervals with something left. Otherwise you won't come back." I ran 5X1000 meters with three-minute, 200-meter intervals, with a plan to go under five minutes on the first, and then take 10 seconds off each of the following, in 4:57.1, 4:48.5, 4:39.3, 4:30.5, and 4:28.6. If someone threatened me with a hydrogen bomb tied to my family, along with Pam, Jo, and Samantha, in the attic of the cat-filled bookstore in San Antonio, I might have been able to run the last one five seconds faster. Might have. It was practically a time trial. I'm pretty sure that's not what Kirk intended, but lost the plan's details when someone stole my last laptop on Halloween, 2006.

For the sake of comparison, the last time I completed this workout, with you (Erin) on Dec. 13, 2005, we did them in 4:58.6, 4:50.1, 4:38.9, 4:25.0, and 4:48.5.

Orange Street Loop

I jogged the final two minutes of each five to complete the Orange Street Loop in 36:38, with splits of 13:12, 11:42, and 11:44.

Park Hill Loop

Here's an earmark of a good run for me: I topped the hill on Orange Street, felt fresh and strong after nearly five miles and thought, "You know, I'm pretty sure I'm going to break 50 minutes. Maybe 49." I wondered. I checked my split after the first mile. It was 9:37 and that surprised me. I gave it an over-under of 10:15. It seemed relatively effortless. Thereafter I tried to slow the pace, aiming for 10 minutes a mile, but didn't again look at my watch until I finished the Park Hill Loop, through steady rain and temporary ponds and creeks (it has rained five inches in the last 24 hours) in 46:56, with splits of 9:37, 9:57, 9:15, 9:28, and 8:39. This was a very easy run, a float, truly, and I am pleased and encouraged.

Levy Loop

I was two for two tonight; felt like running, all springy, but resisted. I jogged for a total of five minutes and otherwise walked to complete the Levy Loop in 26:24.

North Little Rock High

After a half-mile walk and jog, I did 2X8X200 meters, with one-minute, 100-meter intervals between the 200s and a four-minute, 400-meter interval between the sets. This is a Kirk Elias designed interval session, prescribed for 5K racers. The idea is to run the first of each set at an estimated (or known) maximum two-mile pace, and to cut one second off each of the following. Based on my 15:21 two mile last night, I figure I might be able to run two miles, with a gun to my spine, in 14 minutes. That would mean starting these at 52.5 seconds, then 51.5 and so on until the last in 45.5.

I ran the first set in 53.0, 53.0, 50.0, 49.2, 49.8, 48.9, 47.7, and 46.5, and the second in 51.1, 50.4, 49.1, 50.4, 49.4, 48.7, 48.6, and 45.3.

Next time I will have to run them more easily, else I will quit. These really fucking hurt. Partly, I think, because of the 15:21 two mile last night.

Levy Loop tempo

I warmed up with about a half-mile jog, a couple of c. 100-yard buildups, a bunch of stretching, and then through the softest of rain ran the Levy Loop in 15:21, with splits of 7:51 and 7:30. It wasn't easy but I felt great and had plenty left. Well, some left. I jogged and walked about a half mile down. I have run the Levy Loop since the summer of 1996, and I believe this was my second fastest time. I ran it in 14:52 in May, 1997.

To amend yesterday's entry, I ran about five miles. There's no way to know for sure. Somehow I can't imagine Erin Vratil has gotten the idea into her coconut that her $360 Garmin GPS wrist watch is a more accurate gauge of distance than my $3,600 1994 Toyota Camry. After we watched the Texas Rangers' 5-4 victory over the Oakland Athletics, we ran around The Ballpark at Arlington and Cowboy Stadium in 52:01, with splits of 9:44, 9:40, 10:45, 10:26, and 11:26. We engaged a desperate sprint to break 52 minutes, but fell crushingly short. Erin's left knee hurt a little, which screwed us.

Ballpark/Cowboy Stadium

ARLINGTON, Texas — I ran five miles.

North Little Rock High

The smell of wet rubber appeals to me, takes me to my fast days, and today offered the thrill of a lost joy recovered, except I felt terrible warming up and later simply quit, unaccustomed as I am to acute anaerobic discomfort.

I walked and jogged a mile at the North Little Rock High track, as rainwater evaporated around me, in 12 minutes. My plan was to run 5X1000 meters with three-minute, 200-meter walks for intervals, with an idea to run the first in five minutes and chop 10 seconds off on each of the next four. I ran three in 4:54.1, 4:46.7, and 4:37.0. Breathing hard three minutes after the third, I decided to run the fourth easily, but went through 200 in 55 and quit. Next time I will be smarter, and braver. Still, I am somewhat pleased, happy to have made the attempt.

Hash

I mostly walked with Gary (Damn Near Redneck), jogged for maybe 10 minutes, as we covered about five miles in 1:11 on Reverend Bob's Hash run on the Ouachita Trail and around Pinnacle Mountain this afternoon.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in 28:40 a couple of hours ago, right after Fukadome hit for me. I hope for another shirtless run late tonight.

Levy Loop

All right. My first shirtless run of the year. I ran the Levy Loop in 17:13, with splits of 8:44 and 8:29.

Aborted Park Hill Loop

Weird. I haven't run when it was warmer than 70 or so since last October. I just got in from quitting the Park Hill Loop, dialed up weather.com, and son of a bitch, it's 88. Also very windy. Today's garbage day, and there were olive-drab garbage cans blown all over the fucking place. I won't use the weather as an excuse. I just felt weak, tired. I ran and walked for three and a half miles, late with an internal dialogue that went something like, "Shit, this is no fun." "Well, go home, pussy." So I turned off the Park Hill Loop and walked about a mile back. My first three mile splits were 10:58, 10:57, and 11:20. I was out for 54 minutes.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop in 31:46.

Levy Loop/Maple Street Loop/Levy Loop

Sunday I walked the Levy Loop in something like 31:15. Yesterday I walked the Maple Street Loop in 29:25. Today I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 26:42 and wasn't real crazy about the jogging part. Oh well. There's nothing on my fucking calendar until the Midnight 50K. I might wait until early July to start training.

Ouachita Trail 50K

It sprinkled for a total of about five minutes, until the final mile of the Ouachita Trail 50K, when a torrent fell.

Once again, I ran ridiculously negative splits. I went through 17 miles, at the turnaround, in 4:50, and finished in 7:55:15. I was at 20 miles, at the scenic overlook (which a beautiful, four-eyed, Chinese-looking chick and I used as a turnaround on training runs in late 2005 and early 2006) in 5:37:47, so ran the last 11 miles in 2:17:28. I went through the final aid station, at the base of Pinnacle Mountain's east summit trail, in something close to 7:11, so I had 49 minutes to cover the final 4.1 miles in order to break eight hours. It took me about 17 minutes to run the 1.3 miles to the end of the Ouachita Trail at the Pinnacle Mountain Visitors Center. With 2.8 miles left (fairly accurately measured with a 1994 Toyota Camry), I was at 7:28:32. I ran the all-asphalt home stretch in 26:43, and the final two miles in 10:40 and 9:32.

I am pleased, very hungry, and will, I believe, be much sorer tomorrow than I was the day after the Little Rock Marathon. My knees and feet hurt.

Levy Loop

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to cover the Levy Loop in 26:06; a 6:44:33 50K pace. My over-under for tomorrow is 7:33:06.

Orange Street Loop

I alternated four-minute walks with two-minute jogs to complete the Orange Street Loop in 38:32, with splits of 12:44, 12:54, and 12:54. Those felt really fucking easy, but I might start even more slowly Saturday; maybe with a four-to-one ratio. I want to get to 20 miles and feel great, just goddamn great.

Levy Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Loop in 24:28, with splits of 12:24 and 12:04.

OVERHEARD

"You don't know me, but I do everything I say I'll do."

"Bullshit. Nobody does that."

— drug addicts in Tom Jenning's driveway