35th Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the 35th Street Loop at lunchtime today in 59:01. At 12:14 p.m., it's sunny and 63°F. It's the middle of winter, and I have spent the day with my windows and front door open. It's fucking perfect. I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this afternoon in 35:19. I saw Sam on Maple Street, and Jo on Orange, halfway between here and 47th.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 46:13.

The 2012 Oaklawn Park season begins two weeks from today.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 28:48.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop tonight in 47:05.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop tonight in 30:47.

Ghetto Cat Loop

So far it's been a warmer but wetter winter than normal. It's rained all day. The cats are all inside, including Samantha, who was a superstar yesterday. BJ's wife Linda, and Christine, the wife of a new Hasher named Cornhole, spent much of the late afternoon carrying her around my yard. I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop through light rain this afternoon in 29:20.

Levy Loop

I just stepped in this morning from setting the 1,981st annual Baby Jesus Memorial Two-Mile Race to Hell and Back for the Little Rock Hash House Harriers. It took me about thirty-seven minutes, which included a stop to talk to a woman named Ally on Hillside Drive. She was out to take her dog for a walk. She told me she had lost ninety-eight pounds in the last four years, and was just about to start jogging.

There was a five-way tie for first place in the Baby Jesus Memorial Two-Mile Race to Hell and Back. Hashers named David, Scott, Kayce Hall, and Zach and Lacey ran the course in 18:58. I thought for sure someone would break my Levy Loop course record of 14:52, set in 1997, but most of the runners showed up drunk or stuffed full of Christmas food.

Cooper Bowl
COMPLETE SELLOUTS 137.78, GREEN BAY PACKERS 97.31: Aaron Rodgers threw five touchdown passes on Sunday night, his highest total of the season, but they were not enough for the Democrat Football League Packers. The Sellouts easily held on to win their fifth Cooper Bowl.
"Oh well," Packers owner Pete Perkins said. "As I've always said, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never lost at all. Now I can return to my original interest in real football."
Perkins also owns part of the National Football League Packers, who took advantage of Rodgers' performance for a 35-21 victory over the Chicago Bears. The Packers improved to 14-1 and clinched home-field advantage through the playoffs.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 48:47.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers are getting pounded in the Cooper Bowl; the Complete Sellouts lead 137.78-57.16 after Saturday's games. Have you heard of Aaron Rodgers? He's a quarterback, and one of two people who play for the DFL and NFL Packers. The other is a defensive back named Tramon Williams. I think in the history of the DFL, a quarterback has never scored more than fifty points, or a defensive back more than twenty. The NFL Packers play tomorrow night. The DFL Packers will need record-shattering performances. I look forward to Beat the Streak.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this evening in 1:04:14.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this evening in 42:25.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop early this afternoon in 31:24.

35th Street Loop

I walked the 35th Street Loop this evening 1:02:09.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop at lunchtime in 29:36. On Emerson Drive, with about three quarters of a mile to go, I noticed a tiny zip-lock plastic bag right in the middle of the street. I picked it up and immediately knew from the smell that it was marijuana.* I plan to keep it, just in case the NFL Packers make the Super Bowl. Pot is a wonderful antidote for anxiety.

*there are frequently twenty-something-year-old boys gathered in the driveway of the nearest house to where I found the bag

Hash

I mostly walked for 1:04:12 on Basil Julian's Hash run from the Rebsamen Tennis Center this afternoon to cover about four miles.

GREEN BAY PACKERS 108.84, DADBURN GALLINAPPERS 92.05: The Packers are in the Democrat Football League Cooper Bowl for the second time, and the first since 2001. They will play the Complete Sellouts, 115.01-104.97 winners over the 546 Posse. The Sellouts have won three Cooper Bowls since the DFL was formed in 1997.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Pinnacle Mountain Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 28:57. That might've been my easiest lifetime sub-29 two-mile walk. It was 28°F when I started, and there was lots of ice on the streets. After it warmed up to 50°, I walked and jogged and climbed the Pinnacle Mountain Loop in 2:02:02. My splits were 18:38 from the Visitor's Center to the east base, 10:30 to the rocks, 25:21 to the top (reached in 54:29), 25:14 to the west base, 22:54 around to the east base, and 19:25 back. The trails were all soaking wet. My feet are cold two hours later.

Sweetheart Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 44:44. This evening, starting at about 5:45, I alternated five-minute jogs with one-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop in 34:25, with splits of 12:06, 11:25, 10:54.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers are 43.17-point favorites to defeat the Dadburn Gallinappers and advance to the Cooper Bowl, where they would play the winner between the Complete Sellouts and the 546 Posse. Yahoo predicts that the final score between the Packers and the Gallinappers will be 141.48-98.31. According to DFL Commissioner Mike Livengood, the Packers are the first team in league history to have a projected score above the 130s.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this afternoon 29:20.

34th Street Loop/Humpin' Hash

I walked the 34th Street Loop this morning in 48:23. This evening I jogged and walked a little over four miles with the Humpin' Hash. We started and ended at Doe's Eat Place, maybe a third of a mile from the State Capitol Building, and had beer stops at an Irish themed place on Main Street in North Little Rock, and then in the basement of the Flying Saucer. I had fun.

Orange Street Loop/First Tee

I jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 30:13, with splits of 10:37, 10:09, and 9:27. I was confident before I walked out the door that I had a chance to jog the loop non-stop. A half mile into it, my goal became to jog each mile under eleven minutes. By a mile and a half, the goal changed to breaking thirty-two minutes. Mostly, though, I wanted to feel comfortable throughout, and I did. I suspect the freshness of my legs is attributable to the fact that I walked and jogged a total of nine miles the last four days.

Jeff Krupsaw and I played our first Levy-Broadmoor Cup match since last spring. We played nine holes from the middle tees at First Tee, and I won with a 45. Krupsaw was two strokes back when we reached No. 9. I hit my tee shot within fifteen feet. Krup shanked two tee shots into the woods right and quit. I had 2 pars, 5 bogies, and 2 doubles. I used 15 putts.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:01.

34th Street Loop

I measured the 34th Street Loop a couple of weeks ago, to replace the 33rd Street Loop. They're similar in several ways, notably today that they offer five- and three-mile choices. This morning I walked and jogged the three-mile version in 38:50.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:51.

Oaklawn Park

HOT SPRINGS—I walked for 34:19 from underneath the Oaklawn Park grandstand, through the barn area, and to the far southern end of the parking lot. I went a little over two miles. I lost a total of $45 betting Tampa Bay Downs, Gulfstream Park, and Fairgrounds. The Oaklawn season starts five weeks from today.

River Trail

I walked and jogged twelve miles on the River Trail from the Big Dam Bridge this morning in 2:39:45. My fastest split was 12:56 (eighth mile), and my slowest 13:45 (fourth). My legs were beat at the end.

Orange Street Loop/Ridge Road Loop

We had two inches of snow last night. It looks nice on the yards and in the trees. The sky is blue today for the first time since Friday. I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 48:03. Late this afternoon I walked the Ridge Road Loop in 1:00:53.

38th Street Loop/River Trail

It's cold. I walked through a fifteen-second snow flurry this morning on the 38th Street Loop, which I finished in 30:26.

You know, when it never gets over 37°F, then it's cold here, no matter what time of year it is. It snowed and then misted on me as I walked and jogged ten miles on the River Trail, starting and ending at the I-30 bridge. It took me 2:04:33. My splits ranged from 11:55 for the sixth mile, and 12:59 for the fourth.

Chandler Street Loop

Well, the weather outside is frightful. I walked and jogged the Chandler Street Loop through cold rain and endless puddles this morning in 40:57.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

It started raining at bedtime last night and hasn't stopped. I guess it won't until tomorrow. I found a window of mere drizzle this morning, and walked the Maple Street Loop in 32:43. And it rained throughout our Hash run this afternoon, set by Petra from Alsopp Park. I got there late, and walked for a little over a half an hour with Tiny Tim Biggs.

GREEN BAY PACKERS 146.49, DE G.O.A.T. 74.36
The NFL Green Bay Packers beat the New York Giants, 31-28, and are now 12-0. The DFL Green Bay Packers beat the crap out of De G.O.A.T. to win their tenth consecutive game and finish the regular season at 10-3, and in second place. We'll next play in two weeks, in the Cooper Bowl semifinals.

Pinnacle Mountain

My calves felt fine all the way. I jogged and walked the six-mile loop from the Pinnacle Mountain Visitor's Center in 1:57:58. It took me 18:34 to get from the Center to the east base, 36:40 to climb the east side, 23:19 to descend the west side, and 39:25 to get back to the Visitor's Center.

Orange Street Loop/First Tee/Levy Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 45:31.

I played First Tee from the back tees this afternoon with Jung Kim, Bill Zhang, Steve Grace, and Steve Beatstra in 100, with nines of 52 and 48. I had 3 pars, 5 bogies, 8 doubles, and 3 triples. I used 33 putts. I got home a little after dark and walked the Levy Loop in 32:53.

OVERHEARD
"No. They were just two chips passing in the night."
—Steve Grace, after I asked him if our chip shots had hit each other on the No. 6 green. It was close to dusk

Sweetheart Loop/River Trail

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 44:56. This afternoon I started on the River Trail from the I-30 bridge and walked and jogged four miles out and back in 48:27, with splits of 12:38, 11:37, 12:10, and 12:02.

Orange Street Loop/First Tee/Levy Loop Classic

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 44:04. It's 31°F at 8:22 p.m. I plan to golf later this morning, when it should be in the mid- to upper-40s.

I played First Tee from the middle tees this morning and afternoon in 96, with nines of 51 and 45. I had 2 pars, 10 bogies, 4 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 34 putts.

Starting at 6:30 or so, I walked Levy Loop Classic in 31:37.

River Trail/Chandler Street Loop

Samantha was licking herself in the front yard when I returned from a six-mile walk and jog at the River Trail. I did an out-and-back from the Big Dam Bridge in 1:18:10. This evening I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 46:30.

GREEN BAY PACKERS 101.63, MUDVILLE NINE 84.49: The Green Bay Packers (9-3) easily survived a late rally by the Mudville Nine (0-11) to win their ninth consecutive game, and to insure themselves a spot in the 2011 Democrat Football League playoffs. With a victory next week, the Packers will finish the season as no worse than the second seed, and thus have a bye into the Cooper Bowl semifinals for the third consecutive season.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this afternoon in 31:12. I haven't seen Sam since Saturday night. I thought she'd show up when it quit raining, but she hasn't. Sam is my least favorite of these cats, but, man, I miss her. I'm about a day short of stapling Zeroxed photos of her to telephone poles (that written, I recognize that the time I've heretofore spent worrying about these fucking cats was wasted. They're expert at taking care of themselves, I know).

Maple Street Loop/Hash

We had an eighteen-hour rain. It's stopped now. The final bit of drizzle fell as I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 32:29. I jogged and walked for 42:41 with the Hash this afternoon from Knoop Park, so probably covered about three miles.

Sweetheart Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 48:01 this morning. I saw the red cat again, only he was up a different driveway. He came running and meowing. It started to rain when I was about two minutes from home, and, at 6:21 p.m., it hasn't stopped. I got in about five minutes ago from walking and jogging the Orange Street Loop in 37:53.

38th Street Loop/33rd Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:01. Late this afternoon through early evening I walked and jogged the 33rd Street Loop in 1:00:40. My splits were 12:52, 13:02, 12:21, 11:26, and 11:00.

Maple Street Loop

I just learned watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade that a chemist named Edwin Perkins invented Kool-Aid, and also that the inflated Kool-Aid pitcher guy has a hand that's six-feet long. Before that, I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop in 26:14. That's all I'll do today, except watch football, and attempt to fry and eat the four pounds of oysters I bought last night.

Levy Loop Classic/Orange Street Loop

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 30:21, and this evening I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 37:43. My longest jog was about three minutes. It takes a jog for me to feel the nugget of soreness deep in my right calf. I gave tomorrow as the over-under on when it would be one-hundred percent healed. I think I'll move that to sometime next week. I'll say Monday.

Okay, forget the girls at the Nashville Pizza Hut or Walmart. When A Different Closet sells its five-hundred thousandth copy, I now plan to marry Kristen, the waitress at the Texarkana Red Lobster who dropped out of TCU to raise money and who aspires to be a fashion designer.

Orange Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop through heavy mist this morning in 45:55. My right calf remains a little sore. It feels as if there is a small lump in it. It's cancer, I'm sure.

My cancer diagnosis was confirmed this afternoon when I walked the Maple Street Loop in 33:41.

38th Street Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this afternoon in 33:45. My calf feels much better. I'll put the over-under on it being one-hundred percent at three days, or Thanksgiving morning. And it felt even better this evening, when I walked the Levy Loop in 31:49.

The DFL Green Bay Packers didn't play very well, but the No. 1 Complete Sellouts have really underachieved. We lead 89.77-65.61. The Sellouts have New England tight end Rob Gronkowski going tonight against Kansas City. If Gronkowski scores 24.37 or more points, we lose. In nine games, he's done that twice. The NFL Packers beat Tampa Bay something like 35-27 to improve to 10-0.

GREEN BAY PACKERS 89.77, COMPLETE SELLOUTS 88.53: Rob Gronkowski caught his second touchdown pass with 10:27 left in the third quarter, causing the Packers to shit themselves, but he failed to catch another pass, and the Packers held on for their eighth consecutive victory. At 8-3, the Packers are now in second place in the sixteen-team Democrat Football League, one game behind the Sellouts with two games left in the regular season.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 47:11 to extend my streak of at least walking two miles to three years, one-hundred and twenty-four days. My calf feels better than I expected it to, but it will have to feel quite a bit better tomorrow or I'll start a new streak whenever I can again walk comfortably.

Pinnacle Mountain

I was about ten steps past the peak of Pinnacle Mountain when I pulled my right calf muscle. It's not as bad as the left-calf pull from June of 2006, but I wasn't sure of that as I limped down the mountain. I was doing the six-mile loop from the Visitors' Center. It took me 52:26 to get to the top, and then 1:59:43 to go down the west side, around, and back to my car. I was out for a total of 2:52:09. Now I'll spend a day of ice, ibuprofen, meat, and football. I might buy beer.

Maple Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 25:05, and the Orange Street Loop late this afternoon in 40:02.

35th Street Loop/Rebsamen Park Golf Course/Humpin' Hash

I walked and jogged the four-mile 35th Street Loop through dark gray, windy bluster this morning in 54:29.

It was too wet to golf today, so to make up for the lost exercise I walked the cart path for eighteen holes at Rebsamen Park Golf Course. It took me 1:25:58. I guess I walked about five and a half miles.

I was out with the Humpin' Hash for thirty-eight minutes this evening. We began and ended at Hanaroo Sushi Bar on Capitol, about two blocks from the Democrat-Gazette Building. I jogged most of the way, and Misty's iPhone said we covered 3.22 miles.

I failed to write yesterday that the DFL Packers won their seventh consecutive game with a 150.12-109.51 victory over the Fat Chicks. We're 7-3 and in third place. We play the first-place Complete Sellouts this weekend. The NFL Packers beat the Minnesota Vikings, 45-7, and are 9-0.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop through a driving rain tonight in 45:39.

River Trail/Orange Street Loop

I bit off a little too much this morning. I alternated one-minute jogs with two-minute walks to complete ten miles on the River Trail, out and back from The Big Dam Bridge, in 2:10:54, with splits of 12:22, 12:20, 12:50, 13:35, 12:51, 13:20, 13:13, 13:20, 13:36, and 13:26. I was cooked at the end.

Late this afternoon I walked the Orange Street Loop in 46:09.

The DFL Green Bay Packers lead Walt Webb's Fat Chicks 114.92-93.82. I have quarterback Aaron Rodgers going for the NFL Green Bay Packers on Monday Night Football tonight. Walt has Green Bay tight end Jermichael Finley, and Green Bay kicker Mason Crosby. The only way I can lose is if Rodgers gets hurt early, and some other quarterback throws three or more touchdown passes to Finley, or if Rodgers gets hurt or doesn't score and Crosby sets the NFL record for field goals in a game.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:14. This afternoon I jogged and walked for 1:09:54 with the Hash, mostly with a pretty med student named Allison, in Pinnacle Mountain State Park. I'm guessing we covered about five miles.

Ridge Road Loop/Levy Loop Classic

I walked the Ridge Road Loop this morning in 57:44. Late this afternoon, at dusk, I walked Levy Loop Classic in 30:40.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked and jogged the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 26:55.

I played First Tee from the middles this morning and afternoon in 105, with nines of 55 and 50. I had 3 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, 3 triples, 1 quadruple, and 1 hexagonal (I hit the par-four 7th on the first nine in six, and five-putted for an 11). I used 34 putts, so not bad except for the five-putt. A five-putt. Fuck. I played with Mark Burk, of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, whose wife is here for cancer treatment at UAMS.

Levy Loop/Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:00 (29:59.56 to be exact). This evening, starting at about five o'clock, I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 43:16. I walked the final, downhill mile in 13:26.

OVERHEARD
"My mom said, 'I don't understand. Why doesn't he just drive himself down there to get it?' "
—Tim Cooper, telling me today what his mother said when he told her he was driving me to Nashville so I could bring my car back to Levy

Sweetheart Loop/Humpin' Hash

Two things. First, my legs felt great this morning. It seemed as if I walked slowly, but I finished the Sweetheart Loop in 45:20. Maybe I'll be able to keep up a little better if I run with the Humpin' Hash this evening. Secondly, I had a rare cat experience today. I might get one of these every couple of years or so; a cat in the wreck of a neighborhood on the other side of 47th Street, a half a mile from here, toward the end of my walk, ran from the street up a driveway toward his house when he saw me approach. He turned and hunched down, thirty feet from the street. Just as I reached the base of the driveway, he meowed. I stopped and made the clicking sound that I make with my tongue to attract pets. The cat stepped forward a foot or so, then hesitated. I sat on my heels, repeated the sound, and, as I expected, he jogged to me, and purred as I petted him and picked him up. He was an orange tiger cat, short hair, maybe a pound or two heavier than Jo. I hope to see him again.

Man, I felt good running with the Humpin' Hash this evening. According to a Misty's iPhone®, we covered a total of 4.34 miles, from the Town Pump to Cajun's Wharf, then back to the Town Pump. I jogged nearly non-stop for 48:34.

38th Street Loop/First Tee

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:16. My legs were deader than Joe Frazier's chance to recapture the Heavyweight crown. It's gorgeous out, partly cloudy, warm, windy, packed with the typical pastel colors of fall. The leaves looked like butterflies. It should be a good day for a round of shitty golf.

This may sounds nuts, but for the first day with a golf club in my hand since August 23, I was pleased by my round of 108 at First Tee today. I scored nines of 56 and 52. I had 2 pars, 6 bogies, 5 doubles, 2 triples, 1 quadruple, and 2 pentagonals. Blow up holes killed my score. I used 30 putts.

Chandler Street Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 45:58, and walked and jogged the Levy Loop early this afternoon in 27:11.

The DFL Green Bay Packers won their sixth consecutive game and improved to 6-3 with their 115.71-64.47 victory over the Dadburn Gallinappers. The NFL Green Bay Packers are 8-0 after their 45-38 victory over the San Diego Chargers.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 29:55.

I jogged and walked Ron Gimblet's Hash run through Burns this afternoon, mostly with Bob Marston and Basil Julian. I was out for thirty-five minutes. I'd say I went about two and a half miles.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 38:24.

If anyone checks the results from churchilldowns.com this evening, and sees that the pick-six numbers are 2/7/3/10/4/12, then they may reach me at Port Palace, my base as I search for appropriate property in and around Monte Carlo.

I picked one winner today, an 11-1 shot in the fourth race, so finished ahead $16.00 for the day, and $9.50 for the event. They sounded disappointed when I cancelled my reservation at Port Palace.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:30.

On my way back from Nashville this afternoon, I drove by Oaklawn Park to bet all of today's and tomorrow's Breeder's Cup races, then drove on to Levy to watch them on television. I lost a total of $6.50 on today's card. That's fine. I'm pretty confident that I'll be rich by this time tomorrow evening.

38th Street Loop

Today feels like winter. It's 47°F, gray, and windy. I walked the 38th Street Loop in 28:37.

Levy Loop/Humping Hash

I walked the Levy Loop this afternoon in 27:37.

I was out from Reno's in downtown North Little Rock with the Hash for about forty-five minutes tonight. I ran most of the way, so probably covered about four miles. We went across the new bridge to the Clinton Library. This might be hard to imagine, but there now are five pedestrian bridges across the Arkansas River. I like this one most.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 46:07.

The DFL Green Bay Packers won their fifth consecutive game with a 93.33-64.25 victory over the Cavemen, and, at 5-3, moved into fifth place. The top six teams make the playoffs. The NFL Packers had a bye week, and remain the only undefeated NFL team at 7-0.

I walked the Sweetheart Loop late yesterday afternoon. It took me a little over forty-five minutes.

Old Center Point Road/York Gary Loop/Maple Street Loop

I walked and jogged four miles on Old Center Point Road in Nashville on Friday night, and walked the York Gary Loop in 31:34 yesterday morning. I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 32:15.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop tonight in 29:20.

York Gary Loop

I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 33:02.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked and jogged six miles tonight on Old Center Point Road in 1:18:14.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic tonight, after I ate a million-calorie cheeseburger and way too many piles of potato chunks and purple-onion slices all deep fried to pieces, in 32:30.

The NFL Green Bay Packers beat the cowshit out of the Minnesota Vikings to remain undefeated. The DFL Green Bay Packers won their fourth consecutive game, and improved to 4-3 with a 125.01-82.47 victory over the Subdivisions.

OVERHEARD
"I think it's a tie."
—My mother, after I asked her which she preferred, the fried potatoes and onions or the cheeseburger

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop in 44:28 late this afternoon.

38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop this afternoon in 26:06.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked and jogged Levy Loop Classic this morning in 24:45. This was my first run in sub-40°F weather since, heck, maybe last February.

Levy Trail

I walked and jogged the Levy Trail from here to Camp Robinson and back in 1:08:37. It took me 35:24 going out and 33:13 coming back. The climb to Camp Robinson is at least two hundred feet, I believe.* I covered about five miles. I alternated three-minute walks with one-minute jogs and felt smooth and comfortable all the way.

*I don't believe that anymore. According the GPS my brother Jim gave me for my car last Christmas, my driveway is at 317 feet, and the intersection of the Levy Trail and Camp Robinson at 488 feet. It's a climb of 171 feet

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop at lunchtime in 29:05.

York Gary Loop

I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 29:18.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked and jogged four miles on Old Center Point Road this evening in 49:27.

The NFL Green Bay Packers remained undefeated with a 24-3 victory over the St. Louis Rams. The DFL Green Bay Packers improved to 3-3 with an 85.68-68.78 victory over K-Squad.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:23.

The DFL Green Bay Packers are playing a team called K-Squad today. Yahoo predicts a final score of Packers 96, K-Squad 90. We're 2-3, and tied for seventh with eight games left. Six teams make the playoffs.

OVERHEARD
“Na Yeon played great and she made a couple birdies on the back nine. You know, it's fun and I enjoy it, and I finished second this week; that means I still have space to improve next week.”
—Yani Tseng, who finished a stroke behind Na Yeon Choi late Sunday afternoon in Malaysia

“I wasn’t nervous when I started today but starting getting nervous on 15 when I hear that Yani got birdie, birdie. So I was nervous, like from 15, 16, 17, 18. I was so nervous, but I had a great result. So it feels amazing.”
—Na Yeon Choi

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:30.

OVERHEARD
“Your name’s Ann Love? Her name’s Ann Love!"
—clerk at a register at the Levy O'Reilly's Auto Part this morning to his customer, an African American woman named Ann Love, as he pointed toward a European American woman two registers down. Imagine the odds against that. I mean, it probably happens all the fucking time at Old Navy, but I'm talking an auto parts store

River Trail

I parked my car at Cook's Landing Park and walked on the River Trail, across the Big Dam Bridge, west to the new Two Rivers Park bridge, into Two Rivers Park, around it for a few minutes, then back to my car. It took me 2:09:32. I covered somewhere around 8.2 miles, maybe a bit more. It took me 42:23 to walk from the North Little Rock side of the Big Dam Bridge to Two Rivers Park, and 40:20 walking back. I guess that's about 2.8 miles. It's beautiful today.

OVERHEARD
“I'm just keep going every week, do my best and then I mean, like some people think that it only matters if you win something, but I don't think so. Like if I don't win or didn't win, it doesn't matter. Just every day I learn something, get something."
—Na Yeon Choi, from her interview Wednesday before the first round of the Sime Darby LPGA Malaysia, at Kuala Lumpur Golf and Country Club. I thought hers was a lovely quote. "Whether I win or not, I learn something. I get something."

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this afternoon in 46:13.

OVERHEARD
"Yeah, I'm done. I shot a fucking 79."
—disappointed boy after he finished the final round of the Arkansas State Golf Association High School Overall Championship at Pleasant Valley Country Club this afternoon

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 29:05.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 47:53. Now I'm in Nashville. I'll drive back home in the morning. Have you heard of J.J.'s Lounge, a bar on the east side of Anchorage, off Muldoon Road? I read a two-hundred word, three-paragraph story in the paper this morning about two people being shot to death and two seriously injured in a shooting there late Sunday night. One of the dead people was in the parking lot, and the other "was found nearby in the southbound lane of Muldoon, a major north-south thoroughfare."

Congratulations to all finishers of the whatever that marathon was this weekend in Nova Scotia. Particularly those who finished under 4:30 on minimal training, with no runs over a 10K in months. I'm jealous.

The DFL Green Bay Packers are 2-3 after their 97.26-72.18 victory completed last night over the Sherwood Shigallas. We will play a slightly tougher opponent this weekend.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop at lunchtime in 30:17.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:52. I wish I had someone to take to Waffle House.

33rd Street Loop

Diabetes is a strange disease. It amazes me that a reasonably intelligent man who's been a diagnosed diabetic for twenty-eight years and two months can spend ten minutes thinking that the St. Louis Cardinals making the World Series literally means the end of the world without some unimaginable effort, and that he has a story on Cliff Lee due in an hour that he hasn't started to write, before he realizes that, hey, wait a minute, maybe all he needs is some grape juice. I went through that routine last night at about 10:30. I decided to document it here as I walked the 33rd Street Loop this morning in 1:17:44. I kept splits; they were 16:08, 15:35, 15:34, 15:13, and 15:14. I think I was still standing by the refrigerator when it occurred to me that the Cardinals still have to win the National League Championship Series to make the World Series.

OVERHEARD
"I lived my dream, but I thought I would live my dream. I thought I would."
—Al Davis, the Oakland Raiders' owner. He died Saturday

Levy Trail

I don't know what they'll call the trail that runs from my house to Camp Robinson and to the Laman Library, across the street from North Little Rock High School, but until it's finished, I'm calling it the Levy Trail. This morning, for the first time, I walked on it toward The Forge. It's still just hard-packed gravel until you get close to I-30, where it becomes a wide sidewalk, like those near the Arlington Hotel in Hot Springs. It continues south along Camp Robinson all the way to Pershing (the road you take to get to Fort Roots). I took a left a block before Pershing and walked to the the library, then turned around and walked home. It took me 46:43, so was darn close to three miles.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 33:56.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 44:41.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 43:43.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 31:10.

The DFL Green Bay Packers improved to 1-3 with their 152.43-113.23 victory over the Oklahoma Joes. The Joes are owned by a new news writer at the paper named, I believe, Chad Day. I haven't yet heard how he handled my calling him a 'motherfucker,' or wondering out loud if perhaps he is mentally retarded.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 46:13.

Whereas the NFL's Green Bay Packers are undefeated and ranked No. 1 by everybody, the DFL Packers are 0-3 and ranked next-to-last. Injuries have crippled us, but I believe we're about to get our legs back. We have to start winning now. Already, we're in a long, uphill fight to make the playoffs. Fortunately we play a piece-of-shit team called the Oklahoma Joes today and tomorrow.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:23.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this afternoon in 29:28. My splits were 15:42 and 13:46. I walked in dark green pants and the black Polo shirt I wore for the HashSpace golf picture taken at that crappy San Antonio course in early December, 2007. I planned to go for an easy thirty-one minute walk, but then decided to break thirty, and then got carried away. It's amazing how well that shirt's held up.

33rd Street Loop

I walked the 33rd Street Loop at lunchtime today in 1:16:18.

Park Hill Loop

I walked the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:16:50.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked two miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 32:20

Orange Street Loop/York Gary Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 36:55.

This evening in Nashville I walked the York Gary Loop in 32:31.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:31.

Maple Street Loop/River Trail

I jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 20:59, with splits of 10:47, and 10:11. I ran pretty fast the last nineteen seconds to break twenty-one minutes.

Man, I saw a Jenna White character today. I walked six miles on the River Trail, in 1:33:24, to make room for beer as I watch Alabama bury the Razorbacks this afternoon, but had forgotten this was the day of the Big Dam Bridge 100-mile bike race. So, I got to spend ninety minutes watching a bike race from the course itself. It was fun, pure entertainment. Miss Bike Race appeared late. She was small, maybe a little chunky, in purple and gold, with freckles and a two-million-dollar I-love-everyone-including-you smile that actually made me consider driving to the finish. I probably should've, just to know whether the JW comparison holds weight. It could be that bike helmets fall into the same, cuteness-enhancing category as baseball hats.

38th Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:47 through the densest fog I've seen in years. I had to look out for cars and school buses.

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this afternoon in 32:35. Earlier, after visiting Dad and several old family friends in Hot Springs, I turned an hour and a half at Oaklawn Park into a net of $30.10.

OVERHEARD
"I see you back to walking again. Do enough for me, 'cause my feet hurt too much."
—sixty-five-year-old woman in a part of Levy that makes my part look nice

River Trail/Levy Loop Classic

I walked and jogged four miles on the River Trail from the Big Dam Bridge this morning in 48:07. I haven't eaten very much the last week or so, which might explain why my legs were deader than the guy Troy Davis either did or didn't shoot right in the fucking coconut.

This afternoon, starting at about 4:15, I walked Levy Loop Classic in 28:57. I didn't plan to walk that fast, but cold rain started with a mile to go. I finished drenched.

OVERHEARD
"Hey, Pete. If you're going to wear peach shoes, you gotta go faster than that."
—an Orange Street neighbor named John Zarlingo from his front porch. He was talking about my new Asics DS Trainers. They're white, with an orange sole and black and orange stripes. The shoe strings are white and orange. They look peach.

Ridge Road Loop

I walked the Ridge Road Loop this afternoon in 1:03:08. It was a warm afternoon with shit loads of people out. Lot's of kids. A fireman in Park Hill told me I had on good-looking shoes. He said, "Do they make you fast?" A borderline pretty, redneck chick a block away on Orange said, "Howdy," kind of loudly from her front porch.

Chandler Street Loop/35th Street Loop

I walked, jogged, and ran the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 36:08.

Why can't they leave running shoes alone? The Asics people can suck my ass for fucking up the DS Trainer. I jogged and walked the four-mile 35th Street Loop tonight in the last pair I'll buy in 45:47.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 43:21.

Hash

I ran for almost the entire Hash run this afternoon, for 37:15 at Burns Park. I'm calling it three miles.

Levy Loop/Levy Loop

This new blogspot design doesn't force me to do all sorts of silly things to overcome its displeasure that I'm not signed up through Google. Now it's as easy for me to sign in as it was in the beginning. That written, I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:20.

Late this afternoon, I walked and jogged the Levy Loop in 26:42.

Orange Street Loop/River Trail

It's nice to be home. It's cool out this morning, overcast, and a little wet. Tonight, radio announcers will not be able to resist saying, "It's a perfect night for high school football." I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 37:21.

I jogged five miles on the River Trail out and back from the Big Dam Bridge this afternoon in 52:39, with splits of 10:31, 10:07, 10:49, 10:44, and 10:28. It rained throughout. It's 69°F in my house at 5:32 p.m. I might have to turn on the heater tonight.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 29:21.

Southwest Nashville/York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked through southwest Nashville this morning for 1:08:10.

I ran for a total of ten minutes, and otherwise walked the York Gary Loop in 24:23. I took the Dr. Scholls inserts out of my Asics and they felt fine tonight, a bit fast. It's 8:33. If everything goes well, I should be darn close to home about this time tomorrow night. If not already sitting on the old green love seat.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—Man, I wish I weren't here. I jogged four miles on Old Center Point Road this evening in 43:08, with splits of 10:40, 10:47, 10:41, and 10:59. I finished A Different Closet today. I started it on Sept. 20 last year. Now all I have to do is have Walt number the pages for me, or show me how to number them. I know that sounds simple. Then I guess I'll have to find someone to agree to let me mail it to them.

Levy Loop/York Gary Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Loop this morning in 24:34.

This evening at about 8:30, I jogged the York Gary Loop in Nashville in 21:09, with splits of 10:42 and 10:27. Jeff Krupsaw's fantasy team beat the crap out of the Green Bay Packers, 146.18-118.86, in our season opener.

Maple Street Loop

I jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 23:20. As of yesterday afternoon, I have three pairs of new running shoes. I have those Saucony racing shoes I've mentioned, a pair of Saucony Tangents, which are light-weight trainers, and my fourth generation of Asics GS Trainers. I'm afraid they fucked up the Asics. They've added cushion, which is the last thing I want. I ran in them today and they felt mushy. My calves got stiff. My plan was to use the racing flats for walking, the Saucony trainers for my jog-walks, and the Asics for jogging and running. I think the Saucony Tangents might get upgraded to running shoes. We'll see.

I walked all but about two minutes of jogging for 38:40 from Butler Park with the Hash this afternoon.

Maple Street Loop/Chandler Street Loop

I jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 21:33, with splits of 11:05 and 10:28.

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this afternoon, starting at about three o'clock, in 44:08.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 33:27.

Levy Loop/River Trail

I walked and jogged the Levy Loop this morning in 27:50.

Man, I hope somebody gets a kick out of this. I got a ticket today for driving without my seatbelt buckled. I was on my way to the River Trail, where I walked six miles, out and back from the Big Dam Bridge, in 1:24:16. I kept mile splits, which were between 13:13 and 14:26. I'm tired, and hungry as hell. The NFL and DFL Green Bay Packers seasons start tonight, against the New Orleans Saints and Krup's Kids. I'm excited, but not nearly enough to be over the fucking traffic ticket, my first since, I believe, 1984.

York Gary Loop/Orange Street Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 30:56. My bare arms stung a little from the chill. My hands remain cold. Heck, I just checked the temperature, at 6:59 a.m., and it's 48°F. That's gotta be at least close to the record for September 7 in fucking Nashville, aka The Home of Heat.

I ran and walked the Orange Street Loop this evening in 33:23. My splits were 11:50, 11:05, and 10:28. It was almost an interval session; I alternated three-minute runs and two-minute walks with two-minute runs and three-minute walks.

Old Center Point Road/Nashville Country Club

NASHVILLE—I jogged four miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 45:13, with splits of 11:43, 11:52, 10:34, and 11:04. That's my new longest non-stop run of the year.

I played the Nashville Country Club this morning and early afternoon in 103, with nines of 50 and 53, with 2 pars, 6 bogies, 4 doubles, and 6 triples. I used 39 putts.

Sweetheart Loop/York Gary Loop

I can't wait to get back from Nashville so I can golf. Heck, I might play the Nashville Country Club tomorrow. At 7:15 a.m., it's 66°F. The high today is supposed to be something like 78, with a low tonight in the 50s. We deserve three months of fall. I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 48:33.

This evening in Nashville, starting at about 8:30, I jogged the York Gary Loop in 23:50, with splits of 11:53 and 11:57. It was easy, and maybe the slowest two miles ever jogged in a pair of Saucony Type A3 racing flats. I mean by anyone, ever.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:48. I'm crazy about these Sacuony racing shoes. Man, they're comfortable.

I was out for 48:14 on our Hash run this afternoon, set from an apartment complex way out in west Little Rock. I probably ran for a total of twenty minutes, so will guess I covered about four miles. I got home and read that Lee Roy Selmon died, a real bummer. He was kind of a hero of mine growing up.

Chandler Street Loop/Levy Loop Classic

I walked and jogged the Chandler Street Loop in 39:12, wearing a pair of Saucony Type A3 racing flats that I bought from the half-price rack at Easy Runner. They felt great. Afterward, I stood with Jo in the Taylor's front yard for nearly an hour, talking with Jim.

Late this afternoon I walked Levy Loop Classic in 31:31. I could feel the new dryness in the air. Starting tomorrow, for at least the next week, weather.com says we'll have highs in the low eighties and lows in the mid sixties.

38th Street Loop/33rd Street Loop

I was going to run this morning, but my legs were deader than that skinny, pale, English musician I'd never heard of, whose parents said was not on drugs when she died a month or two ago, to which everyone said bullshit, let's see the blood work, so instead of running, I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:46. Maybe I'll feel better tonight.

I felt better for a while. I jogged the first two miles of the 33rd Street Loop in 23:01, but stopped and walked home. I was out for a total of 42:47. I covered a little over three miles. My splits for the two miles were 11:09 and 11:52.

Levy Loop Classic/Sweetheart Loop

I walked and ran Levy Loop Classic this morning in 27:13. I planned to walk easily all the way, but about a quarter into the second mile, Mary Lyons caught me from behind, slowed to a trot, and said, "Do you want to do a half?" I thought she meant a half mile. I didn't, but said, "Sure," and started running. Within a block I understood she meant to ask if I wanted to run a half-marathon in Conway next month. I ran probably a little under a ten-minute pace with her for about a half mile, mostly on Maple, before she turned east to go up the 47th Street hill. My legs felt great on that dash. My plan was, and remains, to run tomorrow morning. I hope I feel as good then as I do now. Maybe it was the Christian rock coming from Mary's headphone.

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this afternoon in 48:05.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked two miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 32:42.

Old Center Point Road/York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked two miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 29:22, and felt good. I was tempted to jog.

Starting at about 7:30 this evening, I walked and jogged the York Gary Loop in 25:09, in time to watch History Detectives with my mom.

Orange Street Loop/York Gary Loop

I jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 32:29, with splits of 11:18, 10:47, and 10:24. I pushed a little harder than I did on Thursday night, but was surprised by my time. I hoped it would be under thirty-four minutes before I looked at my watch.

This evening in Nashville, starting at about eight o'clock, I walked and jogged the York Gary Loop in 26:33.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 33:10.

I walked and jogged for a little over thirty minutes to cover a little over two miles with the Hash from the Little Rock side of the Arkansas River near the I-430 bridge. We crossed into Two Rivers Park on the new pedestrian bridge. I learned during the post-run festivities that North Little Rock Parks and Recreation indeed plans to pave the railroad trail through Levy and Indian Hills, from The Forge to Camp Robinson, for walkers, joggers, and bikers.

Levy Loop/River Trail

You know, I'm a little embarrassed to write that my legs are still a tiny bit sore from jogging at a roughly twelve-minute-a-mile pace two days ago. Oh well. This morning I walked the Levy Loop in 32:37.

This afternoon, starting at about five o'clock, I walked twice across the Big Dam Bridge, with a two-mile walk on the River Trail tucked in between— for a total 5.2 miles—in 1:24:10.

OVERHEARD
"The last time I got a flu shot, I got the flu, so why would I want to get another flu shot?"
—fat biker to another fat biker on the River Trail

"Who made this water? Where did all this water come from?"
—five-year-old boy to his mother as they walked their dog across the Big Dam Bridge

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:31.

York Gary Loop/Orange Street Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 31:09.

I jogged the Orange Street Loop this evening in 35:50, with splits of 12:02, 11:57, and 11:51. I was somewhat comfortable throughout. This was to this point, I believe, my longest non-stop run of 2011.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 47:36.

Levy Loop/First Tee

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 33:15, ate a bowl of cereal, studied a bit for the DFL draft, picked my BTS motherfucker, and then teed off at First Tee at 9:14 a.m. I scored a 49, with 3 pars, 2 bogies, 2 doubles, and, on the last two holes, in order, 1 triple and 1 quadruple. I used 13 putts. I literally could not have been wetter as I walked back to my car.

Levy Railway Bed

I uncovered proof this morning that the U.S. Government has moved the Roswell aliens to Camp Robinson in North Little Rock, Arkansas. First, they've constructed buildings several miles north of the post to look exactly like the Jacksonville community center complex, obviously to confuse Google Earth users. Next, they've given the former railroad bed that runs across the post a visual effect which makes people feel as if they're going uphill no matter the direction they're headed, designed to keep almost everyone from wanting to walk or run on it. They, of course, dug up the tracks in the first place to secure the post from renegade train engineers. All of this explains why they used the farfetched excuse of planes crashing into buildings in New York to tell people they can't go to a tiny Army camp in the middle of fucking nowhere. What could possibly be going on there that requires such tight security? I mean, other than someone hiding the aliens? I walked and jogged from my house uphill for 37:19 to the concrete barrier across Mount Road at the edge of Camp Robinson, then uphill back to my house to complete the trek in 1:11:42. I'm confident I went at least five miles.

Levy Loop/Levi Ghetto Cat Loop

It rained from about eleven last night until eight o'clock this morning, so I skipped the railroad hike. Instead, I walked and jogged the Levy Loop in 26:17. My legs felt a little springy. Perhaps I'll be able to run soon, if my current momentum endures. The only thing that bothered me was my left thumb, which I strained trying to open a jar of blue cheese salad dressing last night. If I can get Files to return my calls, the Marzetti people are going down. It'll be Pete's Blue Chesse. I'll put the factory right next to Pete's Clean Dog Emporium®.

My goal late this afternoon was to walk the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop slowly enough that I wouldn't have to hang my shirt on the shower rod after I came in. It was impossible. I finished in 33:40, and am now on the couch with a towel between my back and the cushion. Man, it's humid out.

38th Street Loop/Tracks

I jogged a little bit, maybe four or five minutes total, but mostly walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 27:03. I stopped for a couple of minutes to walk on the old Levy railroad bed, which is now the equivalent of a hard-packed, one-lane gravel road. It could be walked or jogged on as it is.

I walked for 32:40 out and back, starting north, on the old railroad bed. Just after 47th Street it broadens to the width of a city street, which I guess it might become. Who knows? I hope it doesn't. Heck, it would be fine with me if they left it like it is. For one thing, it makes a great trail for all the poor people in those thousands of apartments around where John Kelly lived years ago. In fact, I saw a guy out there today. He told me he was walking to Kroger, and seemed as pumped as I am by the new route. I had just gotten into a shady area when I had to turn back, so that I could watch Na Yeon Choi dominate this Safeway Classic. I hope I can get up early enough to go two or three miles out on it tomorrow, before it gets hot. Three miles should be enough to get me past the Indian Hills Kroger.

Big Dam Bridge/Chandler Street Loop

I did two laps of the Big Dam Bridge this morning in 50:26. I stopped my watch about halfway back on the first lap to talk to a woman named Erin Taylor. We met walking opposite directions, and she stopped to say, "I know you. Is your name Pete?" Erin was a junior on the Arkansas women's track team in Fayetteville when I spent the spring of 1983 there as a graduate assistant coach. Today she took forty-five minutes telling me about her last two jobs, her husband's job, her four children, and where all those girls from twenty-eight years ago are today. Twenty minutes into our conversation I told her I had another lap to go and suggested she walk with me to the north end of the bridge and then back to the Little Rock side where her car was parked, but she said, no, she had to hurry off somewhere, which she did, twenty-five minutes later. There's at least a chance I'll have grounds for a lawsuit if my sunburn turns to cancer.

I just turned on the Golf Channel to see Stacy Lewis walking down a fairway and sticking a banana in her mouth. That's why I have cable. I left my house at about a quarter to five and walked the Chandler Street Loop in 48:22. It was borderline cool earlier in the week, but is 93°F with a Realfeel® of 108 as I write. I would've waited until it got dark, but I saw on the Internet that Na Yeon was kicking butt in the Safeway Classic, and the tape-delayed broadcast started at 5:30, plus there's a preseason football game that starts at seven.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 32:39.

I played First Tee today from the middles in 45, with 1 par, 7 bogies, and 1 double. I used 19 putts.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 48:21. I got in just before it started raining.

This evening I jogged for about forty-seven seconds of the 55:33 I was out with the Humping Hash. We started and finished at the White Water Tavern, not far from Pizza d'Action. I guess I covered three and a half miles or so.

Do you remember the railroad tracks that ran between my house and Taco Bell? They ran from right around The Forge to I'm not sure how far away. Miles I guess. Surely. ...well, fuck, let me see if I can Google Earth them. ...OK, I gave up when I got to Jacksonville, where they have long since been pulled up. In fact, there are buildings there built across their old path. Anyway, someone started pulling them up through Levy last fall (by the way, I'm not sure how long it's been since trains used them, but not since at least Feb. 3, 1987, the day before I moved to Levy). I noticed this morning as I walked the Chandler Street Loop that they're beginning to pull them out of the streets and repave where they were. Also, someone's started leveling the dirt and gravel that accompanied them. They look like they'd make a perfect trail. From here they go right past the North Little Rock YMCA. You know the one I'm talking about, between my house and where ya'll lived? I'm probably daydreaming, but, man, it would be wonderful if they paved them for joggers and bikers. Maybe I should call Mayor Hayes.

OVERHEARD
"He impressed me. He was disciplined; he was compoised."
—ESPN football analyst Merle Hodge, on Cleveland Browns quarterback Colt McCoy

Levy Loop/First Tee

I walked the Levy Loop in 31:50 this morning. This afternoon I played First Tee from the middles with Jeff and Jill Krupsaw in 49, with 1 par, 5 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 quadruple. I used 17 putts. I played the first four holes in nine-over, and the last five in four-over.

Orange Street Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 47:14, and remain saddened by Dufner's collapse.

Tonight, starting at about nine o'clock, I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 48:24.

Levi Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:38.

I'm for Scott Verplank to win the PGA Championship. He's two strokes back. I have been a bit of a Verplank fan ever since he won a PGA event as an amateur, when he played for Oklahoma State, in I think 1985. Maybe '86. I know I watched him win it when I lived in Fayetteville. He rarely contends in these things, but I have particularly cheered for him from the day I learned he was an insulin-dependent diabetic. I like that he never mentions it, that it's such a non-factor the television guys don't either. And then, next, I'm for the co-leader Jason Dufner. Have you seen that motherfucker? I'm telling you, he's no more than twenty-five years away from being a regular at the Honey Hut. He looks like a professional bowler.

York Gary Loop/Old Center Point Road/Levy Loop Classic

I walked the York Gary Loop on Thursday night in a little under thirty minutes, and walked and jogged four miles on Old Center Point Road in 55:25, starting at about 6 a.m. Friday. I walked Levy Loop Classic in 30:54 this morning.

First Tee/Levi Ghetto Cat Loop

I'm back to sucking at golf. I played First Tee this afternoon with Jeff Krupsaw and scored a 52 from the middles, with 4 bogies, 4 doubles, and 1 quadruple. I used 17 putts. I expect to be back to not sucking soon, as soon as we get a stretch where it's not over 100°F. Twenty minutes after I returned home, I walked the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop in 31:12.

OVERHEARD
"I suck, both figuratively and literally."
—Jeff Krupsaw, after hitting a terrible shot. Kimmy was with us. I said, "No. Jeff. You only suck figuratively, unless. ...well, no, I can't imagine that possibility."

35th Street Loop

I walked the 35th Street Loop tonight in 1:01:33.

Camp Clearfork/Orange Street Loop

Yesterday, starting at about noon, I walked for nearly an hour to cover a little over three miles around Camp Clearfork. This evening I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 40:40.

Levi Ghetto Cat Loop

Goddamn, man, it got to 108°F today. It's 102 now. I walked the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop in 34:10.

38th Street Loop

Eight-one degrees feels great. I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 32:37.

Sweetheart Loop

It was 96°F when I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 46:40 late this afternoon, eighteen degrees cooler than yesterday. I wore mittens.

Levi Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop

It's 10:52 a.m., and 96°F, with a heat index of 108, just like the last two mornings. I walked the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop in 31:13, and I'm drenched. Shit, I hate it when it's too hot to golf. We tied a record for the date yesterday when it reached 107, which is the predicted high for today.

I remember the day in late August, 2000, when it reached 111°F and the National Weather Bureau in North Little Rock was the hottest reporting station on earth, and Elaine Gimblet bragged that she and Ron and their gang jogged around the Lakewood lakes. Today, at 2:40 p.m., it was 114, so, just to say I exercised through the hottest day in the recorded history of North Little Rock, regardless of date, I walked the Levy Loop in 33:21. Now, at 4:14, it's a relatively pleasant 111. It's clouded up a bit. The former record was set in late August of 1986, when it reached 112. I remember that summer, too, walking home from Dickson Street one evening in Fayetteville through pouring rain with a girl named Jennifer Hudson. Everyone out that night was delighted to be soaked through to their underwear.

Chandler Street Loop

At 5:58 p.m., it's 103°F with a RealFeel® of goddamn 116. I think our high today was 104. They say it'll get to 106 tomorrow. I walked the Chander Street Loop this evening in 48:31.

Levy Loop

I've made a point this summer to not complain about the weather, but fuck it. At 10:40 a.m., it's 96°F with a RealFeel® of 108. I wonder how many people will die next weekend at Camp Clearfork. I somehow survived a 31:40 walk of the Levy Loop this morning.

Orange Street Loop/Levy Loop Classic

Last night, after the Reds beat the Giants, I jogged and walked the Orange Street Loop in 36:14. This morning, before the final round of the Ricoh® Women's British Open, I walked Levy Loop Classic in 31:20.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:08:44.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop tonight in 32:16, moments after I returned from a trip to Louisiana Downs with Tim Cooper. I lost $40. Beverly Burress easily won the Miss Louisiana Downs Pageant. She has let her hair grow out from the borderline buzz cut she's worn in the past to collar-bone length. It works very well for her. Her butt remains the standard.

COMMENTARY OF THE DAY

I plan to stab the next person I hear say, "Boots on the ground," unless they're literally speaking of boots on the ground. Fucking Charlie Rose said it tonight (and don't think I won't stab even him; I have thus far killed twenty-seven television reporters and politicians for saying, "Unsustainable"). Really, man, English provides a shit-load of words. Let's go with "troops," or "men," or "men and women," or "soldiers," until we start sending to all these godforsaken counties C-130s packed with boots and saying, "Here, motherfuckers, put these on the ground. Call us if they don't help."

First Tee

I played nine holes at First Tee from the back this afternoon in 56, with 1 par, 2 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, 1 quadruple, and 1 pentagonal. I used 18 putts.

A Boston player put me at fourteen tonight, after which I walked the Levy Loop in 30:53. Four to go. No. Five to go. Then I'll start thinking about the $140 thousand a year for the next forty. Does Eighpack understand he needs to pick someone everyday to have a chance to win the Levi Ghetto Cat championship?

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—After watching Michael Young put my BTS streak at a career PR thirteen, I walked and jogged a three-mile out-and-back on Old Center Point Road in 39:04.

Levi Ghetto Cat Loop

Man, I drank at least six or seven too many beers last night. Consequently, my legs were deader than a bunch of Norwegian teenagers as I walked the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:16.

OVERHEARD
"Stop right there. Listen. That bitch lying off the top of her head."
—20-year-old at Kroger, talking on his cell phone

Rebsamen Park Golf Course/Hash

I played Rebsamen Park Golf Course with Kayce Hall this morning and early afternoon and scored 94, with nines of 46 and 48, with 4 pars, 6 bogies, and 8 doubles. I used 31 putts. We were joined by friendly, funny, middle-aged men named Gordon and William.

Bob Rooke (Hazardous Waste) set a run this evening from the parking lot of the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission parking lot, near the intersection of I-430 and I-630, where I haven't been since a Hash run set in c. October-December, 1980, back when there wasn't shit out there, except for an all-you-can-eat catfish restaurant Genie Bubb and I were crazy about. I jogged and walked with a combination of B.J., Ron and Elaine Gimblet, Tiny Tim Biggs, and Bob Marston's wife, for 40:31.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this evening in 35:40, after some guy from Minnesota put me at ten to pass Kenny "Who the Fuck is Kenny Sinac" Sinac among the Levi Ghetto Cats. Who the fuck is eightpack?

Levi Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop Classic

My groins were only a slightly stiff this morning, the right more than the left, both minimally uncomfortable. I walked the Levi Ghetto Cat Loop* in 30:02. I pitched, chipped, and putted at Burns Park last night, and then took three full swings (playing Nos. 1 and 2 on the par-72 course). I'm afraid the golf might've damaged my groins. They did sing out a bit on those long shots. We'll see. I plan to go to the range today at First Tee, and maybe play the par-three course.

I didn't golf. Starting at about 7 p.m., shortly after a first baseman for the Braves named Freeman drove my BTS streak to nine, I walked Levy Loop Classic in 29:25. My right groin might be ever so slightly tight, but that's it. I feel healed.

*I have added "Levi" to the name of the old Ghetto Cat Loop in honor of an Internet baseball league I play in, the one I, for the moment, dominate

Levy Loop

I don't think I have kidney stones, or the mumps, or two inguinal hernias, but I guess you never know, unless you go to a good doctor, which you'd never do if you were I. According to the Mayo Clinic's Web site, those are ailments sometimes associated with groin pain, though the most common cause is muscle strain, and I'm hopeful that my lack of common sense has no bearing on a lack of common causes for symptoms like mine. The site suggested rest might be required. The world record for consecutive days covering at least two miles currently stands at about thirteen thousand, so I perhaps will consider a break somewhere around my 85th birthday. This morning I jogged for a total of three and a half minutes—the sum of thirty-second, retarded bursts of roughly five miles an hour every five minutes—and otherwise walked the Levy Loop in 31:56. What's odd is that I felt more comfortable jogging. Here's hoping I can jog with a pull-cart tomorrow.

OVERHEARD
"She ain't gonna let the rope go, so I gotta let the rope go myself if you know what I'm saying."
—security guard speaking on his cell phone in the Kroger parking lot. The temperature is 102. Not RealFeel® 102; RealReal® 102, as in HotterThanTwoMotherfuckers® 102, as in I'mMakingTheDumbassCatsStayTheFuckIn® 102. The good thing is that the RealFeel® is only 107, so it's kind of dry heat, apparently ideal for lovesick phone conversations on sticky parking lots

Ghetto Cat Loop/38th Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 37:03. That was about as fast as I could walk without exhibiting a severe limp. I guess I fucked something up golfing yesterday. For some reason, my right leg feels as if it's a couple of inches longer than my left.

I felt a little better this evening when I walked the 38th Street Loop in 34:03. I'm sore in both of my groins, and it's difficult for me to stand up straight as I walk. I don't know what's up, but my history with these sorts of things should leave me a bit more encouraged. You know, one day my foot feels broken, and two days later I run ten miles at a 9:30 pace. We'll see.

First Tee/Levy Loop Classic

I played First Tee from the middles this morning and early afternoon in 91, with nines of 47 and 44. I had 5 pars, 9 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 triples. I used 30 putts, with seven one-putts, and one three-putt (to end a streak of twenty-six holes with none). I really didn't put very well today. I don't think I made a putt outside of about three feet. I had a very good chipping day, but was zero for about ten from four to ten feet.

Today is the third anniversary of my at least walking two miles a day, so the start of my fourth year. Starting at about 4:30 p.m., I walked Levy Loop Classic in 34:27. My legs felt like crap at first, but better as I progressed.

Hash/Levy Loop

Yesterday afternoon I walked and jogged for about forty minutes across the par-70 Burns Park course and on some of the trails on Rick Rainey's Hash run from the Burns Park lot on the river by the water-skiing area.

Starting at about noon today, I walked the Levy Loop in 31:14.

First Tee/Sweetheart Loop

I used a modified Scott Vratil putting technique this afternoon and it worked very well. I didn't buy a tiny putter, rather choked down on my putter so that my left hand was at the bottom of the grip, and my right on the metal. I three-putted the fourth and fifth holes, but practiced a little and used 21 putts for the last 13 holes, which would work out to 29.1 putts over 18. Playing from the middle tees at First Tee with Randal Hunhoff, I scored a 91, with nines of 48 and 43. I used 32 putts. I had 4 pars, 12 bogies, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple.

I jogged for a total of six minutes and otherwise walked the Sweetheart Loop tonight in 37:42.

Orange Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop

Last evening I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 35:51. I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:11.

Jerry Kelly finished his second round at The Open at thirteen over par to become by far the worst of my many poor SILVER BULLET LOCK OF A LIFETIME SPECIALs.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—It's swampy here, at least relative to the base of the Rocky Mountains. I walked and jogged the York Gary Loop this evening in 26:25.

OVER-UNDER NUMBER OF THE DAY
3—Majors Rory McIlroy will win during his career

SILVER BULLET LOCK-OF-A-LIFETIME SPECIAL
Jerry Kelly to win The Open*
*thespread.com lists Kelly at 300-1

Salina, Kansas/CR 90-201/Tamarack Country Club/The Broadmoor

LIMON, Colo.—Let's see. Last Tuesday afternoon, I walked for thirty-five minutes from the parking lot of a Walmart Super Center in Salina, Kansas. I walked thirty-seven minute and thirty-four minute out-and-backs on County Routes 90 and 201 from the Vratil estate on Wednesday and Friday mornings. I walked for a little over an hour during a rain delay at The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs on Thursday. Rain delays also gave me time to walk for about forty-five minutes on Saturday. On Sunday I walked for exactly 44:22 through the swanky neighborhood around the Broadmoor, and yesterday, Monday, I walked a similar route for 33:10 after watching the final few holes of regulation and the playoff of the U.S. Women's Open.

Scott Vratil and I played thirty-six holes at the Tamarack Country Club on Wednesday. I had rounds of 102 and 99, and nines of 54, 48, 50, and 49. Scott had rounds of 100 and 91.

I'm skeptical, but Jan's pocket pedometer said we walked twelve miles at the Women's Open on Friday. I would've guessed something like eight, maybe ten. I'd put the over-under number for my five-day mileage there at 39.93. The Broadmoor is hillier than two motherfuckers, and set up so that when you reach the ninth green, you're two-hundred miles from the clubhouse. Anyway, I lost about a pound last week. Even Jan Vratil's culinary mastery could not keep pace with all the walking.

I walked the Levy Loop early this afternoon in 33:38.

Oh, it took me until about Friday morning to get over sore shins from my race walk in last Monday's Firecracker Fast 5K. My calves at least temporarily look like Conan the Barbarian's.

Firecracker Fast 5K

At about 6:45 this morning, it occurred to me that it might be a fun challenge to try to break forty minutes race walking the Firecracker Fast 5K. So, I dashed out the door in my plaid golfing shorts and pink Polo shirt, drove faster than two motherfuckers to the start, registered, and then, beginning at 7:30, walked the race in 37:20, with splits of 11:53, 11:40, 12:28, and 1:19. They gave me a small brown envelope when I registered without telling me what was in it. I put it in my pocket, and then at the finish saw a group of women cutting timer chips off racers' shoes. "I didn't know what those were," I said. "Here's mine. It was in my pocket." The women said it would work anyway. She sounded confident. "No, it doesn't matter, as long as you had it with you." The deal is, they didn't have one of those pads at the start, so my time, if it appears on Arkansasrunner.com, will be thirty or forty seconds slower.* I was pleased. I hope I made the official results. I want to see how many people I beat.

*Rats. Apparently the chip-in-the-pocket technique doesn't work

Emerson Drive Loop

As I watched the men's Championships final between Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal from Wimbledon this morning, I was reminded of a Rainwater, a couple of minutes before I set The Motherfucking Miracle Mile for the Little Rock Hash House Harriers. Roughly ten years ago, Rainwater asked whether The All England Lawn Tennis Club would close for the Fourth of July. What? To celebrate one of the most significant national losses since the dawn of western civilization? "It's always greener on the other side of the grass."

I walked the one-mile Emerson Drive Loop twice in 32:53, with splits of 18:03, as I marked The Motherfucking Miracle Mile, and 14:50.

Park Hill Loop

I walked the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:14:12.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 43:39.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this evening in 33:52.

Orange Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop/Russellville Country Club

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:18. Last night, at about nine o'clock, I completed a walk and jog of the Orange Street Loop in 38:50.

Crutch and I were part of an eightsome at Russellville Country Club this afternoon. What's most amazing is that we completed our round in four and a half hours. I was pleased to score a 97 from the back tees. Crutch played so poorly he quit keeping score. Everyone else scored between 68 and somewhere around 85, so these were very good golfers. They played a gambling game called Wolf, at which I lost $10. I had 3 pars, 6 bogies, 7 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 31 putts (I chipped and pitched well). My nines were 49 and 48.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 29:06.

Hash

I walked for 52:21 on BJ's Hash run from Maumelle Park this afternoon. I guess I went a little over three miles. Man, it was hot.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 29:50.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop tonight in 37:01.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:48.

I called my mother today at about two p.m. to say I was on my way, but she sounded like Jane Perkins of c. 1995, and said, "It's too hot for you to drive all the way here today. I'll see you next week." So I golfed, and scored a 46 from the back of First Tee, which might be my best score from back there. Heck, man, the PGA event in Connecticut this week is 6,800 yards, or a little shorter than First Tee, which plays 3,428 for nine. I had 2 pars, 4 bogies, and 3 doubles, and used 17 putts, with zero three putts. On No. 8, the par-5, I hit my second shot into the woods, but hit a 180-yard four-hybrid, pitched from seventy yards, and two-putted from sixty feet for a double (which felt far more than two strokes better than the nine I scored Tuesday), then parred No. 9 with a 165-yard five-hybrid and two putts from fifteen feet.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop tonight in 30:32.

First Tee/Sweetheart Loop

Man, I had a disappointing 50 from the back tees at First Tee this afternoon. For starters, I used 21 putts, with 4 three-putts. I hit one green in regulation, the 230-yard par-3 third, but three-putted from 86 feet. On No. 4, which from the back tees plays like a U.S. Open hole, at 478 yards, I missed a four-foot putt for par. In fact, I made one of four up-and-down attempts within four feet. But what really killed me was a 9 on No. 8. I hit my third shot into the lake, then two-pitched and three-putted. I had 6 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 quadruple.

I jogged for about a minute, but otherwise walked the Sweetheart Loop this evening in 45:33. I started at about nine o'clock.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this evening in 47:49.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this evening in 30:22.

OVERHEARD
"His round has been a tale of two stories."
—NBC commentator on Fredrik Jacobson's final round of the 2011 U.S. Men's Open Championship

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this evening in 37:10.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop tonight in 29:10. Actually, I jogged for a total of two minutes. My foot feels almost healed.

OVERHEARD
"I wish I could get mad and throw up a golf club and catch it like that."
—Jane Perkins exhibiting the best example of irony I have witnessed, after she watched a golfer hit a crappy shot at the U.S. Men's Open Championship and then throw his club in the air and catch it "like that"

First Tee/York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—My foot is at 95 percent. It hardly hurts at all. I played nine holes from the middle tees at First Tee in 53, ten strokes worse than my last outing. I had 1 par, 2 bogies, 4 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 18 putts. Then I drove to Nashville, ate some macaroni and cheese, and walked the York Gary Loop in 32:10.

Levy Loop

My foot hurts, but not nearly as badly as yesterday. I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 41:05.

Levy Loop

I limped the Levy Loop in 55:41 this evening. My right foot hurts as if I have a severe toothache in my arch. I'm not sure, but suspect I might have twisted it or stepped on something during a spurt of hypoglycemia at about 4:30 this morning. I know that when I got up at about 7:30, it hurt so badly I had to crawl from the back bedroom to the front to dig out the crutches Ron and Elaine lent me in June of 2006 when my right calf tore playing softball. Thanks to steady doses of ice, ibuprofen, and aspirin, I have been off the crutches since that one early session. Nevertheless, my streak is in jeopardy.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 36:50.

Hash

I arrived late at today's Hash run, because I spent an extra twenty minutes watching Harrison Frazar win the St. Judes golf tournament in a playoff, and then ran for about fifteen minutes from Alsopp Park until I caught Bill Brass and BJ. We walked for another half an hour. I guess I covered a little over three miles.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked two miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 34:04.

SILVER BULLET LOCK-OF-A-LIFETIME SPECIAL
Santiva to win the the Belmont Stakes. Cash everything in and bet it all.

Yours truly,

Pete "Motherfucking Horse-picking Fucking Genius" Perkins*

*Hold on. I heard moments ago, at approximately 1:10 p.m. Central, that the track at Belmont Park is sloppier than two motherfuckers. So, my new pick is Shackleford. I'm in the Candlewood Suites parking lot on Central Avenue, a half mile south of Oaklawn Park (which I should be able to buy after Shackleford wins, and consequently rename "Blow Me Downs"). What's crazy is. I'm about to wet my pants. Good luck**

**I'm home now, after having bet $20 to win on Shackleford, and a $5 exacta box with Shackleford and Santiva, and having peed so hard my feet literally came off the floor in the Oaklawn Park men's room

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 33:15.

OVERHEARD
"And the whistle had been blown; or at least the decision to make the whistle had been blown."
—NBC hockey commentator, from Vancouver, in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals. I think he meant "...or at least the decision to blow the whistle had been made." But I don't know. These are Canadians. Maybe someone decided to make a whistle, but then blew the decision. Ask around

River Trail/Levy Loop

I walked and jogged a total of 8.2 miles in 1:53:02 on the River Trail and Big Dam Bridge this morning and early afternoon. My splits were 22:25 for the first crossing of the bridge, then 13:11, 13:13, 13:57, 13;41, and 13:44 on the trail, and 22:52 for the second bridge trip.

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 29:01.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:24.

I played First Tee from the middle tees this afternoon with Randal Hunhoff and Steven Grace and scored a 43, with 5 pars, 1 bogey, and 3 doubles. I used 17 putts.

Orange Street Loop/First Tee/47th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 38:56. My legs were deader than Anthony Weiner's political aspirations.

Weather.com says it's 94, with a heat index of 97. Accuweather.com says it's 95, with a RealFeel® of 107. Whichever, it was too hot at First Tee to enjoy mediocre golf. I played one loop of the par-three course, and scored 35 from the boys tees, and 32 from the girls. Overall, I had 7 pars, 9 bogies, and 2 doubles, and used 32 putts.

I just walked the ol' 47th Street Loop for the first time since August 10 of last year. I went slowly, in 48:05, starting at about 6:45 p.m.

Levy Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 29:17.

Any time I walk faster than a fourteen-minute pace, I feel like I'm walking pretty fast, so I felt pretty fast this evening as I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 41:47.

Hash

I walked and jogged for 33:20 to cover a little over two miles on Josh's Hash run in Murray Park.

Hash

I spent 39:22 remarking the Great Cross Country Race this morning to cover a little more than two miles.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning, starting at about 8:30, in 33:44.

Great Cross Country Race/First Tee

I spent 1:36:30 setting Saturday's Great Cross Country Race in Boyle Park this morning. It covers a route very similar to the one we set five years ago. I was impressed by how much longer the first trail is, the one that starts on the other side of the street from the main pavilion. It's at least a mile and a half now. I probably covered a little over four miles. I imagine the race will be about three and a half miles long. It was certainly much more pleasant to set than last year's race in Hindman Park.

I'm not sure how hot it got today, but at 7:22 p.m., it's 90. I played 18 holes with Randal Hunhoff from the middle tees at First Tee in 96. with nines of 47 and 49. I had 4 pars, 7 bogies, 4 doubles, and 3 triples, and used 35 putts. I ate 1 package of PowerBar Gel, and 6 Halloween size Pay Day bars, and still battled hypoglycemia. I am about to fry chicken. Fuck, I'm starving.

Orange Street Loop/Levy Loop Classic

I just completed a walk-jog without wearing shoe inserts, my first run or walk or combination without them since, I'm not sure, but I think 1996. The pair I've kept in my new DS Trainers are now in my twenty-dollar Tredz. I felt fine, and my faded blister didn't bother me at all (which, of course, might've had something to do with the inserts being in the Tredz). I jogged for a total of twelve minutes, and otherwise walked the Orange Street Loop in 38:57, with splits of 13:50, 12:47, and 12:20.

This evening, starting at about 6:50, I jogged Levy Loop Classic in 21:30, with splits of 11:03, and 10:27. It's hot, but my legs felt good, even though I spent a good two hours in my yard this afternoon (I noticed the first blooms on the crepe myrtle today. I can see them now from my couch).

OVERHEARD
"Man, you wanna' try something hard? Try cutting your whole yard with a damn weedeater."
—man on 34th Street near the end of cutting his entire lawn with a weedeater

Levy Loop/First Tee/38th Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:01.

I played eighteen holes at First Tee this afternoon and evening, and scored a 97, with a 44 for the first nine from the middle tees, and then a 53 from the back. I thought I would break 50 on the second nine, particularly when I had a nine-iron in hand for my third shot on No. 8, but I chunked it into the fishing pond to start a triple-quadruple finish. Overall, I had 3 pars, 10 bogeys, 2 doubles, 1 triple, and 2 quadruples. I used 34 putts.

I'm not sure how hot it was out there, but it's 86 at 6:37 p.m. I tried something someone on the Golf Channel recommended; I drank four ounces of water after each hole. That seemed to help. I felt fairly fresh all the way through.

Starting at about 8:15 this evening, I walked the 38th Street Loop in 30:47.

Sweetheart Loop/Park Hill Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 47:56.

It feels like summer now. It's 89, with a RealFeel® of 94. I walked the Park Hill Loop in 1:12:37, with splits of 15:09, 14:19, 14:22, 14:34, and 14:13. My latest pair of Asics DS Trainers, as good as they otherwise feel, gave me a blister along the sheath of my right Achilles tendon (the back of my right heal?) about the size of an oblong nickel, or maybe one of those Halloween size chocolate footballs. It hobbled me throughout the weekend, unless I wore my old DS Trainers. All five pairs are worn to pieces. So, I drove out to Academy Sports and bought a pair of cheap running shoes: Tredz. They cost $19.95, and felt good on my walk. I hope to run soon in my two-month old DS Trainers, provided my blister callouses, or does whatever they do. This is new to me. (Jo is currently curled up, sleeping inside the Tredz box. If I had a computer with a camera, I would've called ya'll right back.)

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning. I accidently stopped my watch, so guess it took me about thirty-two minutes.

According to Reverend Bob's GPS watch, he, B.J., Ron Gimblet, and I walked 3.09 miles on the Hash run from Knopp Park this afternoon. I think I was out for about fifty-one minutes.

Park Hill Short Course/Levy Loop Classic

I walked the Park Hill Short Course this morning in 30:42, after I helped my dad move a ping-pong-table size piece of plywood from the back of his SUV into my garage, where I'm sure it will sit, next to the Vratil wood, until long after I'm dead.

I walked Levy Loop Classic, starting at about 5:15 p.m., in 31:55

Ghetto Cat Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:30.

This evening, starting at about 6:15, I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 42:53.

33rd Street Loop

I jogged for three minutes, then walked for two, then jogged for two, and walked for three, until I finished the 33rd Street Loop in 58:09, with splits of 11:26, 11:38, 11:58, 11:32, and 11:35. I felt good. Maybe before long I'll be able to run five miles without stopping.

38th Street Loop/York Gary Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 32:08, and then this evening, in Nashville, I walked the York Gary Loop in, no kidding, 32:08.

OVERSEEN
Exercise daily: Run from the Devil
—Sign in front of the Amity First Baptist Church

Park Hill Short Course/First Tee/Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Park Hill Short Course this morning in 32:24.

I played First Tee with Randal Hunhoff this afternoon, from the middle tees, in 43, with 3 pars, 5 bogies, and 1 double. I used 13 putts. I used my driver for the first time since last fall, after a lesson yesterday with Petey King. I'm close, I hope.

This evening, starting at about 6:20, I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 46:54.

Levy Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:19.

I jogged the downhills and otherwise walked the Sweetheart Loop in 38:53, starting at about 6:50 this evening, after watching the Phillies build a 2-0, third-inning lead over the Reds. Now, back to the game.

Park Hill Short Course/Hash

I measured a new course yesterday. It goes up 47th Street to Ridge Road, on Ridge all the way to F Street, then down F and 35th to Orange, with a couple of one-block detours thrown in to make it exactly two miles from my driveway to next-door-neighbor Tom's. Bob Walsh and I ran a very similar course back in the late 1980s when we lived on 35th. I'm calling it the Park Hill Short Course, and walked it this morning, between sessions of loud thunder and rain, in 33:23.

Late this afternoon I walked and jogged for 57:21 through Burns Park, finishing at the covered bridge to cover about four miles, maybe a little more, with the Hash.

Na Yeon Choi won the consolation this afternoon, so finished third in the LPGA match-play.

Levy Loop Classic/Chandler Street Loop

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 32:24.

If Na Yeon can win her two matches today, and Michelle Wie hers, then she should get some television time tomorrow, when she plays Miss Michelle in the semifinals. Yesterday she beat Karen Stupples, the fat but funny and lovable Englishwoman, in 20 holes, and they showed her miss putts of ten and twenty feet. That was it. They showed Stupples miss putts of eighteen inches to win on No. 18, four feet to win on No. 19, and seven feet to lose on No. 20.

Ms. Choi qualified for the quarterfinals. I guess they're over now. I plan to watch the Golf Channel's rebroadcast at 11 p.m.

This evening, starting at about 6:15, I jogged for a total of 14:07 to complete the Chandler Street Loop in 38:07.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Gimblett Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:37.

Starting at about 4:15 p.m., I walked the ol' five-mile Gimblett Street Loop in 1:12:41, and succeeded in getting back in time to watch the round of thirty-two at the LPGA match-play championship.

38th Street Loop/First Tee

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:02, and will leave for the first Levy-Broadmoar Cup match of the season at First Tee after I eat a bowl of cereal and an omelette. Krupsaw is meat, fucking meat.

Before I got there, Krupsaw invited Natasha Vincent and Jack Wong to play with us, so the Cup Match was off. And with those two superstars, we had to play from the back tees. I scored a 104, with nines of 51 and 53. I had 2 pars, 7 bogies, 5 doubles, 2 triples, 1 quadruple, and 1 pentagonal. I used 39 putts, which included two four-putts. Fuck it, man. I'm not good enough to play from the back.

"Everyone in my family always hated the Dallas Cowboys. It seems like everyone who goes to that town turns into a douche bag."
—Natasha Vincent

Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:15. I wore a jacket. The temperature has been great this spring. It's May 18, and we've only had one day in the nineties, when it reached 91 on April 19. Mostly this month's highs have been in the seventies. Maybe we'll get a climatical repeat of the Summer of '09.

This evening, starting at about 7:45, I jogged the Levy Loop in 22:45, with splits of 11:08 and 10:37.

First Tee/Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 32:31, starting about five minutes after I returned from eighteen holes from the back at First Tee. I'm not sure, but I think that's the first time I've ever played two loops from the blues. I played with Randal Hunhoff, a Korean engineering professor named Jung, and a Chinese engineering professor named Bill, and scored a 95, with 1 par, 13 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 triples. From the back, the course plays 6,856 yards, so the longest I've played, I think. I used 39 putts. I three-putted four times, and my only one-putt came from fifty feet for par on No. 2 the first time around. I'm beat, and hungrier than an entire junior high football team.

York Gary Loop/First Tee

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 34:37.

I played First Tee with Randal Hunhoff this afternoon and scored 101, with nines of 51 and 50. I had 1 birdie, 7 bogies, 7 doubles, and 3 triples. I used 37 putts.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:46.

Maple Street Loop/Fort Roots/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:48, then played Fort Roots* with Tim "Hey Perkins, What're You Doing? Jacking Your Fucking Dick" Davidson in 46, with 2 pars, 4 bogies, and 3 doubles. I used 16 putts. It was the first time I'd played with Davidson since circa 1988.

I jogged and walked at least three miles late this afternoon in 48:20 at the Hash run set by Crack Pipe in Conway. We had a nearly perfect post-run. No kidding, my abdominal muscles hurt from laughing.

*Last month's tornado blew over I'm-not-sure-how-many trees on the course, maybe twenty or thirty. The No. 5 fairway has chopped-upped logs all over it. Do you remember the short par-3, No. 6? The tree that kind of blocked the right side of the green is gone, making that hundred-yard hole a fucking snap.

Park Hill Loop

I jogged for twenty-four minutes and otherwise walked the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:07:47, with splits of 13:37, 13:29, 12:51, 14:21, and 13:29.

Levy Loop

Starting at about nine this morning, I walked the Levy Loop in 31:50.

OVERHEARD
"Sometimes I think all Tiger's game needs is five or six Advil."
—Roger Maltbie, five-time PGA Tour winner and current Golf Channel and NBC commentator

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 34:08.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 34:37.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—It's a little sultry out tonight, but not in a bad way. It's summerish, with a faint scent of tar out on Old Center Point Road. I walked and jogged four miles in 54:11.

Levy Loop/York Gary Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 33:15, and the York Gary Loop this evening in Nashville in 29:27.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 33:44.

I ran across busy streets. Otherwise I walked for 44:41 on Jeff Fanny Packer's Hash run this afternoon in west Little Rock. I probably went a little less than three miles.

Sweetheart Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 48:33.

My Kentucky Derby Silver Bullet Special Lock of a Lifetime® for 2011 is No. 15 Midnight Interlude. The Santa Anita Derby winner, who has worked better than any colt in the field, is 10-to-1 on the morning line, odds sure to plummet after the publication of KDSBSL Lifetime®. For my Install a Public Address System at Your Place of Employment So You Can Walk in Monday Morning and Announce: Suck My Ass I Quit Motherfuckers Guarantee®, I recommend a four-colt superfecta box, with No. 6 Comma to the Top, No. 14 Shackleford, Midnight, and No. 19 Nehro. It might put thoroughbred racing out of business.

Oh well. There's always another race in twenty-five minutes.

This evening, starting at about 7, I walked the Orange Street Loop in 43:15.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 32:20.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee/Chandler Street Loop

It is 64 with a light breeze and bright sky, perfect for golf, and for a 29:21 walk of the Ghetto Cat Loop.

I didn't play very well at First Tee today, but did set a personal record with 30 putts, one under my previous best. I used 13 putts on the first nine, also a record by one. Joined by Randal Hunhoff, I scored a 98, with nines of 49 and 49. I had 1 birdie, 1 par, 9 bogies, 4 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple. As for the putting, I had 8 ones, 8 twos, and 2 threes. I missed a zero putt from the fringe on the final hole by two inches. It would've put me into the 20s, a goal of mine for at least the last fifteen years.

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 49:03. It's great out. Grills are going, teenage latino girls are dancing in bright frilly princess dresses on a lawn on Maple, I passed two groups of fellows drinking beer (and overheard one say, "No shit? Have you smoked any of it yet?"), and Mary Lyons ran by just after I finished. She was with a friend from I believe Dallas, who she told me about a month or so ago. "She's too fast for me," Mary said. And, this moment, a woman jogged by pushing a baby carriage. I wish now I would've invited people over for Pam's birthday party. She turned ten today.

Busch Stadium/Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 30:18.

Last night in St. Louis, I walked four laps around the street-level mezzanine at Busch Stadium in 32:20. It had to be at least two miles because I was walking fast. Even with a jacket, 48 degrees in a baseball stadium is cold.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat loop this evening through a cold drizzle in 29:20.

OVERHEARD
"So far this season, the Cardinals have lost eight games when they had the lead in the seventh inning or later. That's more than twice as many as any other team in baseball. It makes you wonder how many more games they would've won if they'd just won half of them."
—St. Louis Cardinals play-by-play announcer on Tuesday night

Marion Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Marion Street Loop this morning in 47:17.

If you live north of New England, fifty-four degrees doesn't sound like much, but down here it's different this time of year. It was nearly eighty a couple of days ago. It poured on us as we ran Bill Brass' Hash run through Burns Park. I was out for 1:11:08. I ran quite a bit, so covered at least five miles. Now I'm on my couch in blue jeans and a sweater and dry socks. My heater's on.

What's the over-under on the number of sports events, worldwide, during which the PA announcer will request a moment of silence in honor of Osama bin Laden over the next week? I'm going with two.



OVERHEARD
"My invitation was lost in the post. They kept calling from the palace with their apologizes, but I told them to quit with the worrying. I told them I had a golf tournament to play."
—England's Karen Stupples from the Avnet Classic in Mobile

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:41.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:43.

This afternoon at First Tee, I hit two range buckets, then played the par-three course in 33, with 4 pars, 4 bogies, and 1 double, and used 16 putts, then the big course from the middle tees in 49, with 1 birdie, 1 par, 2 bogies, 4 doubles, and 1 quadruple, and used 15 putts.

Princess Kate looks like a beauty from cartoons or comic books.

Levy Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 33:38, and again this evening, starting at about eight, in 29:45.

York Gary Loop/Chandler Street Loop

I walked the York Gary Loop yesterday morning in Nashville in 30:11, and walked and jogged the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 41:37.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked and jogged the York Gary Loop tonight in 25:53.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop at about seven this morning in 30:13, and three miles on Old Center Point Road this evening, starting at six, in 46:44.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked four miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 1:03:43. When I do Old Center Point Road, I turn right from the driveway of mother's house onto Sunset, go about fifty yards, turn left on Fourth, go a little less than a half a mile primarily through an old and poor section of town, then turn left on Old Center Point, which veers to the right around the high school and Scrapper Stadium and winds for about five miles past shit loads of large cow pastures and a few wooded areas. There are lots of big friendly dogs and squirrels, a handful of rabbits, and occasionally deer. Old Center Point eventually turns to dirt, until it ends on the outskirts of the town of Center Point on the modern highway (Center Point has a restaurant built into the back of a general store that makes as good a BLT as I've eaten, served on buttered Texas Toast and with right-out-of-the-grease French fries).

OVERHEARD
"If I was built like Carmilo [Villegas], I would never wear a shirt. I would just have 'Srixon' tattooed on my chest."
—Graeme McDowell

York Gary Loop/Nashville Country Club

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 34:02.

I played the front nine of the Nashville Country Club in 47 this afternoon, with 2 pars, 3 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 17 putts, but would way rather have run the girls 4.11 miles on Port Malcolm.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:49. Then I returned a call from my mother, who said she walked into her laundry room yesterday to discover $400 in twenties on top of her dryer, and that late last night someone called to say he would kill her is she didn't give him his money back.

This evening I walked the four miles out and back on Old Center Point Road in 57:23.

Chandler Street Loop/Levy Loop Classic

A storm knocked out power in Levy at about ten o'clock last night. It came back on at about eight this evening. I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 45:50, and Levy Loop Classic this evening in 32:14.

38th Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:35.

You know, it's funny, for some reason I forgot to report we had a tornado somewhere around three o'clock last Friday morning. I slept right through it. I didn't know anything had happened until I drove through Park Hill on my way to have Bill Brass do my taxes, and saw trees down all over the place. This evening, I had to walk around a tree that fell across the street and into a house near the Dixie Pig as I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 33:08. I guess people who live on the Ghetto Cat Loop are less prone to fuss at the city about tree removal than those along the Park Hill Loop. It got up to eighty-seven today. They say a storm's coming tonight, and that tomorrow's high will be sixty-four. Maybe I'll golf.

Levy Loop

My shin doesn't hurt, but looks as if it has about an eight-inch-long zipper, a red badge of courage to display as I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:03.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:40, and was out late this afternoon for a little over fifty-two minutes on the Hash run from the skate-board park on the North Little Rock side of the river. I went a little under four miles. I ran into a cable about a foot off the ground early in the run, fell flat on my face, and damaged the hell out of my left shin. It hurts, and I'm sure will look awful in the morning.

Hot Springs/Oaklawn Park

HOT SPRINGS—I parked on the street nearest the backstretch of Oaklawn Park about an hour and a half before the first race on Saturday, then walked all over the fucking place for 1:04:13 to cover a little over four miles. Then I lost $102.80, putting my season-ending deficit at $170.10. Darn. But there were precedents set today; the Miss Wherever Pageant was founded twenty-five years ago this spring at Mr. Burger in Fayetteville, and the current Miss Arkansas Derby became the first redhead ever to win any of them. She also was the only woman any of the judges (Basil Julian and and I) have seen who managed to look perfectly casual and comfortable wearing an ankle-length dress.

OVERHEARD
"We got this e-mail from Jeff O'Neil in Batavia: 'Would you please ask my wife to quit walking in front of the television.' "
—announcer from the Chicago Cubs game in Colorado on Saturday night

35th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the four-mile 35th Street Loop this evening in 51:14.

Oh. Yesterday my streak of walking at least two miles a day reached one-thousand.

Chandler Street Loop/Oaklawn Park

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 49:22, starting just after I returned from Oaklawn Park. I went with Tom Zaloudek, and left with a net gain of $1.60, to cut my deficit for the season to $67.30. I will go Saturday—the final day—for the Arkansas Derby, with an obvious goal of winning at least $67.30. Breaking even is a victory for gambling addicts. "Fuck, yeah. I went ten times, and all I'm out is a hundred dollars worth of gas, fifty-five dollars on Racing Forms, maybe eighteen dollars on programs, I think twelve on admission, and probably sixty dollars worth of hot dogs and tuna salads. It was a great year."

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 33:18.

OVERHEARD
"Something good's gonna happen to you, brother. Watch and see."
—Levy bum to whom I gave fifty cents

38th Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop late this morning in 32:29.

Sweetheart Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop on Sunday at about noon in 47:34, and the Levy Loop starting at eight o'clock tonight in 32:03.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:23.

I jogged and walked the Orange Street Loop this evening, beginning at about six o'clock, in plenty of time to get in to watch the Reds go to 6-2 with a 6-1 victory over Arizona, in 36:10.

Orange Street Loop

Starting at about eight o'clock tonight, I walked the Orange Street Loop in 42:33.

Orange Street Loop/Oaklawn Park

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 47:10.

Okay, now we're talking. I went to Oaklawn Park this afternoon with Tom Zaloudek and Tiny Tim Biggs and left with a profit of $77.10, to cut my deficit for the season to $68.90. I plan to go next Thursday and the following Saturday, the final day, with the possibility of trip this Saturday with Tom and Corky. Obviously the primary goal is to win the track and rename it Blow Me Downs, with a secondary one of breaking even. We'll see.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop at lunchtime in 34:05.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:22.

Walt Webb released the final Arkansas Democrat-Gazette NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament bracket pool results. Out of forty-seven entrants, Pam finished ninth, Jo thirty-ninth, Pete forty-first, and Samantha forty-fifth.

I planned to play the par-three course at First Tee this afternoon, but it was crowded with Catholic middle-school kids, so played the regular course from the women's tee boxes with four clubs—an eight-iron, pitching wedge, sand wedge, and putter—in 41, with 4 pars and 5 bogies. I used 15 putts. I played No. 9 from the middle tees, because I ran up on and joined two young men playing them and would've been embarrassed to do otherwise. I parred it with an eight-iron, a chip from the left fringe, and a three-foot putt.