Senior Center

This is why I joined the Hays Senior Center: At noon, it's raining, and the temperature is about 35°F. It's supposed to rain the whole goddamn day. Since I'm a member of the Senior Center, I walked two miles around its indoor track in 33:44, wearing short pants and a sweatshirt. My knee still ain't right, but it's getting closer, like the black eyed peas I have simmering in a big pot of pork fat back in the kitchen. BLTs are also on the menu today in Levy. Man, I'm telling you. Why don't ya'll scoot by?

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next politician who interviews herself or himself, as in: "Do I believe this is what's best for the American people? No, but..."

OVERHEARD
"He's very decisive once he's made up his mind."
—announcer at the Music City Bowl, talking about Vanderbilt running back Wesley Tate

Maple Street Loop

My right knee was not nearly as painful this morning, though it felt stiff as I walked the Maple Street Loop in 34:12. It felt as if it might lock a couple of times in the final mile. It was 21°F when I started. There's still snow and ice everywhere; here in Levy, for Christ's sake. I may have to vote Republican next time.

157

Orange Street Loop

Man, the first thing I noticed when I woke up this morning was pain in my right knee. I limped around the house all morning, mostly cleaning, and noticed that the more I moved, the better it got. You know the way that works. My dad came to visit at about noon. Roughly an hour later, as he left, I learned that he had parked somewhat deeply into my muddy front yard. He then dragged big gobs of mud with his tires into the street and up the Taylor's heretofore immaculate driveway. He got turned around, smiled real big, waved, and honked as he drove up Orange Street Hill, oblivious to the mess. Ms. Taylor is in the hospital. Jim's spent the last several days there, returning home only to sleep. I was opening the garage before dad's car had disappeared. With the help of the Taylor's garden hose, I used rags and mops and a big broom to clean their driveway, and my knee felt almost fine when I finished. Crazy. So, I walked the Orange Street Loop in 48:11.

Levy Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in the dark this morning in 33:19, and this evening jogged and walked the Orange Street Loop in 38:25. A lot of trees in Levy and Park Hill, and I'm sure all over central Arkansas, got battered Christmas night. I think I got lucky.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:05:23. There is still a bunch of snow and ice on the roads. I nearly fell twice.

Levy Loop

I walked the snow-covered Levy Loop this afternoon in 34:14. It's a mess out there. Our power was off from about 9 p.m. last night until about 10 p.m. tonight. My cherry tree has three broken limbs, all significant. I'm not sure how it's going to look. The crepe myrtle seems close to fine. Nine inches of snow fell.

Cook's Landing/DFL

Pam just came in for the first time since the Hash Christmas party, which seems to freak her out a bit more every year. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's an age thing. It's cold and windy out, and now, at 11:17 a.m., it's starting to snow. They say we might get four inches. It was dry, but overcast and freezing as I walked and jogged the River Trail and its auxiliaries for 1:09:20 this morning. I think I went about five miles.

It's 2:35. Hard rain is freezing across Levy. My trees are coated. Pam is in my lap. Sam is on the front porch. I don't know where Jo is (not that I'm worried. She's Jo). The lower limbs of my cherry tree and crepe myrtle are touching the ground. The last time we had a  significant ice storm here, in December, 2000, this part of Levy lost power for nearly two weeks. I'm interested.

Jo walked into the house at 4:45, and meowed as if she were mad that I'd left her outside. Now she's gnawing fried chicken bones.

The ice stopped falling hours ago. At 8:05 p.m., snow is pouring down. An inch and a half has fallen so far. This is the fourth white Christmas I have seen in Arkansas, and at 9:22, the snow is three inches deep. The sky is dark orange. I hear sirens. It's wonderful out.

OVERHEARD

"Hey, it's fucking Perkins! Hey, man, merry Christmas!"

—Sam Hardcastle, walking with his wife Donna and big dog this morning on the River Trail

Here's something goofy that Yahoo® started doing this season:

Week 16

Powered by Automated InsightsChampionship: Green Bay Packers Picks Up Victory over K-SQUAD

• 
  Green Bay Packers(12-3)155.38
• 
  K-SQUAD(9-7)134.11

Green Bay Packers registered the highest point total this season (including playoffs) and beat K-SQUAD 155.38 - 134.11. Green Bay Packers has been a powerhouse and has now won five straight. This makes it two in a row for Green Bay Packers against K-SQUAD. Their last matchup was an 84.41 - 81.29 nailbiter in Week 8. Green Bay Packers started one player with zero points while K-SQUAD served up two goose eggs, meaning both sides missed scoring opportunities.

Green Bay Packers Smooth Moves

• Aaron Rodgers led the league in scoring and had the 13th-most points in the league this season with 41.60.
• Jamaal Charles ranked eighth in the league in scoring with 29.33 points.
• Picked up the Indianapolis Colts Defense, which beat their scoring projection by 91.9%, with 18.00 points against a projected 9.38.
• Green Bay Packers had 8 of their 10 starters exceed their projected points.
• The 19.17 points scored by Demaryius Thomas was the third-highest score by a WR in the league this week.

K-SQUAD Regret Tracker

• Should have started Ryan Succop, who underachieved, but still had more points than the starting K with 7.00 against a projected 7.29.
• K-SQUAD tried to fight through 2 of their 10 starters getting zeros, but could not overcome it.
• BenJarvus Green-Ellis had a season-low 1.73 points against a projected 8.11 and underachieved for the ninth time this season.
• Even though K-SQUAD lost, only 5 of their 10 starters scored less than their projected points.
• K-SQUAD lost even though both of their WRs scored above their projected points.

What If

• Green Bay Packers would be 8-7 if they played K-SQUAD every week.
• Green Bay Packers would have beaten six other teams besides K-SQUAD this week.
• Green Bay Packers would be 8-5 if they played the same schedule as K-SQUAD.
• If Green Bay Packers had played every team in the league each week, they would be 143-70.
• K-SQUAD would not have lost to any other team in the league besides Green Bay Packers this week.
• Green Bay Packers would have lost to K-SQUAD 137.16 - 109.70 had they played each other last week.
• If they played the same schedule as Green Bay Packers, K-SQUAD would be 7-6.
• K-SQUAD would be 144-76 if they played every team every week.

Game Notes

• Green Bay Packers has had four wins this year where their opponent beat their average score.
• Three of the seven losses for K-SQUAD this season have come when their opponent had their highest-scoring week of the season.
• This matchup featured the two highest-scoring teams in the league this week.
• K-SQUAD scored 134.11 points and lost. It is the highest losing score in the league this season.
• Green Bay Packers is on the longest active win streak in the league, winning five straight games.
• K-SQUAD bested their projected points again, the ninth time this season they have done so, including a streak of three straight games.
• Green Bay Packers won even though K-SQUAD performed better against their scoring projection. K-SQUAD beat their 105.67 projected points by 26.9%, while Green Bay Packers outscored their 126.31-point projection by 23.0%.
• The best group of RBs in the league this week was on Green Bay Packers, which got 63.61 points from the position.

Ridge Road Loop

I walked and jogged the Ridge Road Loop this afternoon in 51:04, after stuffing myself at Bryce's Cafeteria in Texarkana four hours earlier. Heck, I'm still full.

Sweet Baby Jesus Memorial 1.1-Mile Race to Hell
Results
1. Ken Starnzy, 7:48
2. David Meroney, 8:04
3. John Kelly, 8:32
4. Josh Bornhurst, 8:39
5. Holcomb Mosely, 8:39
6. Zach, 8:45
7. John Cohn, 8:46
8. Greg Eason, 10:22
9. Kayce Hall, 10:25
10. Anna Holman, 10:30
11. Greg Eason's girlfriend, 10:31
12. Jayme Sturgeon, 11:06
13. Susie Philips, 11:27
14. Bob Marston, 12:06
15. Ms. Bob Marston, 12:14
16. Elaine Gimblet, 12:15
attendance: 34

Hash/DFL/Cooper Bowl Final

Crutch mailed me a fifteen-pound Petit Jean® ham. I fussed at him. You know; "Come on, man. That's all you could do? Fifteen fucking pounds?" The Hash should love it. I walked a total of 2.2 miles as I set the Sweet Baby Jesus Memorial 1.1-Mile Race to Hell over the first portion of the Maple Street Loop.

The Green Bay Packers and K-Squad got Cooper Bowl XVI started last night. The Packers began as 22-point favorites, but, after Atlanta's Saturday night victory over Detroit, have dropped to about nine-point favorites. K-Squad's receiver for Atlanta scored 29.94 points, a little over sixteen more than was projected. The Packers' running back for Detroit scored 13.59 points, about three more than projected. The Packers will be done by dinnertime today, and K-Squad by bedtime. We'll see. If anyone makes anyone watch Sunday Night Football, cheer like hell against Marshawn Lynch. Cheer for him to step on a broken beer bottle, and then into a bucket of hydrochloric acid.*

*in fact, Lynch is playing in Seattle tonight. Do you think Heidi would take care of this for me? Tell her it's a lot easier than it sounds. I'll pay for the plane tickets, of course

GREEN BAY PACKERS 155.38, K-SQUAD 134.11 Aaron Rodgers led the way, with great support from Jamaal Charles, Demaryius Thomas, Alfred Morris, Mikel Leshoure, and even kicker Garrett Hartley, and, oh, also Indianapolis' defense, as the Packers won their first Cooper Bowl. Marshawn Lynch did his best, but he had too much to do. It's fine with me now that no one put his feet in acid.

130

Covered Bridge Loop

I walked and jogged two laps of the 2.25-mile Covered Bridge Loop in Burns Park this morning by myself, and then mostly walked a lap with Ron and Elaine. It took me a total of 1:30:17. I forgot to take splits, but I think I did the first two laps in about 28 minutes, and the last in 34 minutes, give or take.

OVERHEARD
"You don't know shit, do you?...No, Tommy, fuck you!"
—pissed-off, heavily tattooed, twenty-something overweight redneck woman on her cell phone at Kroger, trying to find out what kind of cheese her mother had sent her for

128

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 41:51.

121

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop tonight in 30:21, after a three-hour wedding rehearsal delayed by people driving in from Fayetteville.

118

Cook's Landing

I walked and jogged (for a total of about five minutes) with Ron and Elaine, and Suzy Phillips from Cook's Landing on the River Trail this morning for 1:23:12. We went a little less than five miles, I'd say.

116

Lakewood/DFL

I walked randomly around the Lakewood and Park Hill neighborhoods with Ron and Elaine this morning for 1:19:54. It's a guess, but I'll say we went four and a half miles. We walked slowly, and afterward ate at the Donut Shoppe in the Little Old Ladies Used Bookstore Shopping Centre.

The official Cooper Bowl line came out today, and the Green Bay Packers—109.70-71.54 semifinal winners over Russellmania III—are favored over K-Squad by 23.27 points. Yahoo® projects a final score of Green Bay 130.34, K-Squad 107.07. If I could find anyone willing to pick up the action, I'd load up on K-Squad. I think they should be favored. I don't believe those projections consider recent trends, but are rather based on averages for the entire season. K-Squad—137.16-117.89 semifinal winners over the Complete Sellouts—has outscored the Packers in five of the last seven weeks, ever since the Packers won a lackluster, 84.41-81.29 victory over K-Squad on the last weekend of October.

111

Basketball Court Loop/DFL

I walked and jogged two laps of the Burns Park Basketball Court Loop this morning in 2:53:52, with splits of 1:21:55 and 1:31:57. I jogged a good deal of the first lap, and didn't feel especially well, and indeed planned to pack it in, but, alas, Ron and Elaine showed up moments before I finished. I heard Elaine through the woods shout, "Rockamudo!" I took a drink of water, ate a PowerBar Gel, and walked the second lap with them. I'm tired. I might've been too busy yesterday to have expected more.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers will play in their third Cooper Bowl, and second in consecutive years, unless Russellmania III's kicker—Rob Bironas of the New York Jets—kicks in tonight's Monday Night game at least twice as many field goals as any man has ever kicked. The Packers lead, 109.70-69.54. It's silly to even consider that a kicker might score 40.16 points. My team will most likely play K-Squad, which leads the Complete Sellouts, 137.16-97.54. The Sellouts have Tennessee Titans' quarterback Jake Locker going tonight. Locker would have to have the best game of his career for the Sellouts to win. The Yahoo® projection says the Packers would defeat K-Squad by about fifteen points next weekend, but it fails to consider recent trends. K-Squad has blitzed its way through three consecutive victories, and has outscored the Packers routinely through the second half of the season.

107

Maple Street Loop/Hash/DFL

I jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 24:52, quickly enough to excise some of the tension I feel over this afternoon's semifinal march to the Democrat Football League Cooper Bowl. All of the Green Bay Packers' players and all but Russellmania III's kicker go today, so the game might be settled by bedtime. Our winner will play the winner between K-Squad and the Complete Sellouts in the Cooper Bowl next week.

Petra set an old-fashioned Hash run this afternoon. We were way out in the woods, up thickly overgrown hill and dale for 1:32:29. I ran for the first twenty minutes or so to catch the field on the River Trail, and then climbed and jumped and kicked mud off my shoes for most of the next hour. I'm calling it five miles. Now, back in Levy, I'm pleased to report that the NFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Chicago Bears to secure the NFC North Division championship, and the Democrat Football League Packers lead Russellmania III, 109.70-68.21. My players are through. Russellmania has a tight end going tonight, and a kicker going on Monday Night. They are projected to score 15.2 points. They will have to score 41.49 points to tie the score. I don't think a kicker and a tight end have combined to score that many points. Nothing is given, but the Packers are very likely to play in the Cooper Bowl next weekend.

OVERHEARD
"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, and gremlins, and Eskimos."
—Homer Simpson

97

Basketball Court Loop/Time of the Month Hash

I walked and jogged the Burns Park Basketball Court Loop in 1:26:34 this morning. My plan was to push it, but Ron and Elaine, who began the loop at the Covered Bridge, by coincidence were right at the court when I started, so I walked the first couple of miles with them. I discovered after they turned away from me that my legs were deader than the reaction you'd get to jokes about twenty grade-school kids being shot to death, so jogged and walked very slowly back to my car.

Ron, Elaine, and I drove to Hot Springs and jogged and walked about three miles with the Hot Springs Time of the Month Hash. It was a pub crawl from the top of Tower Mountain and back. The only tough part was the walk back up the long, twisting hill to the tower. I think everyone there had a blast.

90

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:13, and realized that I'd kind of missed it. I thought about the perfect little black cat which inspired the name, back in, gosh, '09. Part of me still regrets not toting that kid home.

Jeff Krupsaw and I played one loop of the par-three course, and the first six holes of the regular course at First Tee this afternoon. I never once wrote anything on a scorecard, but I'm pretty sure I had a 38 for the par-three, and am positive I played the first six holes of the big course in nine-over, with three bogies and three doubles. The weather was perfect—upper-fifties, overcast, and absolutely calm. Also, the new assistant golf pro there has become the current Miss Little Rock. Her name is Monica. She's funny, and cuter than two motherfuckers.

82

Basketball Court Loop/38th Street Loop

I overslept, so ran backwards from the Grassy Knoll until I met Ron Gimblet and Sandy Venable on the Burns Park Basketball Court Loop, and walked the rest of the way. In all, I was out for 1:15:35, and probably went about four miles. This evening, starting at about 5:45, I jogged and walked the 38th Street Loop in 25:45.

OVERHEARD
"Why do they want kids? I mean, I've always noticed that the happiest people I know don't have kids."
—Ron Gimblet, after I told him Mr. and Ms. Everyday Running might adopt children

80

Basketball Court Loop/Humpin' Hash

Dear Mr. and Ms. Everyday Running,

I sure wish ya'll'd go do a lap of the Rocky Raccoon course and file me a report, particularly in regards to its degrees of ascent and descent. I'm wondering whether any of the courses available to me come close to satisfying my specificity-of-training index.

Yours,

Rockamundo

P.S. I jogged and walked two laps of the Burns Park Basketball Court Loop this morning and early afternoon in 2:41:07. That's pretty fucking close to 9.6 miles. It was easy. My lap splits were 1:20:20 and 1:20:47.* On the first lap, I alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks, except I did not run uphill. Instead, if the uphills came during the first three minutes of each five, I would make up for not running during those three-minute segments by jogging during the two-minute segments. It wasn't long before I realized I needed to start banking minutes, or, in other words, jogging whenever the course was downhill, and also when it was level—or close to level—according to feel. This was particularly true as the rout ascended toward the Boy Scout Trail parking area (also known to the Little Rock Hash as the Grassy Knoll. That blonde-headed college girl named Sarah made her last run there, a couple of days before ya'll flew to get married). By the time I finished the first lap, I had a total of five running-minutes banked (which is to say that on the second lap I could've walked five extra minutes). The most significant advantage of this way of proceeding is that it serves as a nearly perfect blood-glucose gauge. As I think you both could imagine, it requires the conduction of a considerable amount of elementary math (i.e.; "OK, so you were five minutes, twenty-two seconds over, and you just walked for forty-eight seconds up that hill during an otherwise required running segment, so now you're four-minutes, thirty-four seconds over. ...Fuck, man, wait; are you sure?"). The problem is, the math eventually consumes me; consequently, on the second lap, I walked the ascents and jogged the descents, and played the levels and slight ascents-descents according to feel (ultimately, as I proceed through the final eight weeks of preparation for the Rocky Raccoon 50, "according to feel" will apply to every degree, I think). It surprised me to see that my lap splits were so even; I clearly felt better after the second lap than at the end of the first. That would be hard to explain. I think I might try four laps this Saturday morning, probably alone. I don't think I'd want to subject the Gimblet Group to my idiosyncratic analism (I write "idiosyncratic" because I'm sure that everyone has at least something about which they are anal. For me, of course, thousands of things tragically fall into that category). My blood glucose when I got home, after eating one PowerBar Energy gel—roughly forty-five minutes into the first lap—was at 113, or in that roughly 90-120 perfect zone.

P.P.S. This evening I jogged and walked about three miles with the Humpin' Hash on a circuit which began and ended at E.J.'s. I felt great, wonderful in fact, jogging almost every step of the way. The only problem was that my blood sugar dropped off the chart and the fucking dickhead Richard Short Ladder called an ambulance, and an embarrassing scene ensued when all I needed was half a fucking glass of Coke. ...No, wait. I'm fine. I'm no longer embarrassed. I don't like Short Ladder, but it really has nothing to do with his calling an ambulance. He didn't know better. I'll tell you sometime.

OVERHEARD
"These guys are just like fucking bugs. You stomp 'em, and they come back and you got'ta stomp 'em again." —Green Bay Packers Coach Raid Ant & Roach®, commenting on Russellmania III, whom his team defeated 115.16-102.71 in the Democrat Football League regular season, and will face in the DFL playoff semifinals this weekend. The Packers are slightly more than thirty-point favorites

*you might want to quit reading at this point; trust me, really, because I'm about to expose the depths of mankind's potential for anal reasoning

74

Basketball Court Loop

I want to make one thing clear: as much as I admire the people I know who help populate the Houston metro, they did not bear on my cheering last night for the Houston Texans. My cheers were, rather, mostly based on my jealousy over the recent success of the New England Patriots, and for Texans back Arian Foster, who plays for the Green Bay Packers. Furthermore, I'm sure those people didn't realize the Texans were even playing before they read the Monday edition of Pam's Boy, and probably have no idea that New England beat the cow shit out of Houston. I know for a fact that no one who walked the Burns Park Basketball Court Loop with me this morning was aware of it. We had to cut the loop short, since Elaine had an appointment, and probably covered about four and a half miles. I forgot to stop my watch. It's at 2:52:38 as I sit on my couch in Levy.

61

Cook's Landing/Hays Senior Center/Levy Loop

It's 38°F at 10:50 a.m., and the wind on the Arkansas River blew very hard. Ron and Elaine and I walked from Cook's Landing along the River Trail and through the Burns Park soccer complex for 1:53:43 this morning. I think we went about six and a half miles. I know I swam a total of 1000 yards at the Senior Center this afternoon. I warmed up with 500 in 12:26.9, then swam 4x100, with one-minute intervals, in 2:02.1, 2:02.3, 2:00.1, and 2:01.4. I warmed down with a 100 in 2:31.6. This evening, starting at a little after six, I jogged the Levy Loop in 21:58, with splits of 11:06, and 10:52.

Now I'm set to watch the NFL's first Game of the Year—New England hosting Houston. I'll cheer like heck for Arian Foster, and the Texans in general.

56

38th Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

It's gray and warm this morning, nearly dank. I walked the Maple Street Loop in 31:48. They say it's supposed to get cold in a day or two, and, in fact, at 6:15 p.m., there's a front rolling through. It's thundering west of Levy, and I just hurried through a walk and jog of the Maple Street Loop to beat the storm. I finished in 25:41. It's now pouring harder than two motherfuckers.

48

Basketball Court Loop

I'll tell you what, it's amazing how much more rugged the Basketball Court Loop at Burns Park is when you're trying to go fast. I alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks to complete the 4.8 miles in 1:19:44. I fell once, when instead of wasting ten seconds to walk across a creek, I wasted thirty seconds picking myself up and wiping off the mud and shit. I'll be bruised. I'd planned to go at least two laps, but you know how that goes. I did the one, and then decided to drive straight to my couch and turn on football.

44

Levy Loop/Hays Senior Center

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:21. It's overcast and damp and 58°F, same as it's been every morning for the last two or three days. This afternoon I swam intervals at the Senior Center. I did 2X5X50 yards, with thirty-second intervals for the first set, two minutes between sets, and one-minute intervals for the second set, in 51.8, 53.0, 53.2, 53.4, and 54.5, and 54.9, 54.8, 54.7, 54.6, and 53.6. I swam a 300-yard warmup in 7:08.3, and a 100-yard warmdown in 2:25. I literally felt as if I might have a heart attack after the first set, thus the two-minute break, and the longer intervals.

39

Basketball Court Loop

You know, I'm usually not much of a cake guy, but goddamn, man, Sandy Venable brought Ron Gimblet a birthday cake this morning that was fantastic. It was so moist I was tempted to wring it out. It was angel food, with chocolate icing, and I mean, fuck, it was great, at least as good as any I've ever eaten. We ate it after we walked a little over four miles in 1:16:42.

36

River Trail/Hays Senior Center/Orange Street Loop

I jogged and walked about four miles on the River Trail this morning, give or take a bit. I'm not sure. I do know that Bill Brass, Elaine Gimblet, Suzy Phillips, and I jogged three miles in 32:51. We were at times also with Ron Gimblet, Bob McKinney, Yvette Thompson, and Sandy Venable. The jog was pretty easy, but I could feel the fried chicken gizzards and biscuits and gravy from last night trying to work their way up. That's it. I'm done. No more gizzards until after February 2, or perhaps late the night of. You know, assuming the hot dog roller at Chris Vratil's favorite mini-mart is empty.

I swam 1000 yards at the Senior Center this afternoon in 24:35, twenty-two seconds faster than I had previously gone in this swimming comeback. Crazy thing is, it was almost easy. I believe the most plausible explanation for that seeming physiological incongruity is that fat helps inefficient swimmers, and I'm fatter now than I was in September. My 250-yard splits were 6:06, 6:25, 6:07, and 5:58.

This evening I alternated slow four-minute jogs with slow one-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop in 38:37. My splits were 12:42, 13:15, and 12:40.

32

Park Hill Loop

I walked the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:17:31.

25

35th Street Loop/DFL

I jogged the 35th Street Loop this evening in 43:38, with splits of 11:10, 11:12, 10:40, and 10:36. It's amazing how damp I got on the third day of December. The air is heavy, and it's 71°F at 6:49 p.m.

Thanks mostly to Washington Redskins rookie running back Alfred Morris, the DFL Green Bay Packers pulled away for a 115.16-102.71 victory over Russellmania III, and will enter the playoffs tied for the regular-season championship at 10-3, and as the second-seed. Morris rushed for 124 yards.

OVERHEARD
"Without the fan, there is no point to the enterprise. The foundation of football is not the running and passing and kicking and tackling and fumbling and intercepting—it's the rooting."
—Joel Achenbach of The Washington Post

20

Maple Street Loop/DFL

I jogged and walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 25:19. It's muggy out there on the second of December.

Russellmania III leads the Green Bay Packers after Sunday's games 102.71-96.81. All of Russellmania's team has played. The Packers have New York Giants receiver Hakeem Nicks and Washington Redskins back Alfred Morris going for Monday Night Football. They are projected to score a total of almost exactly twenty-five points. If they each scored their lowest point totals of the season, the Packers would win 104.04-102.71. Regardless, unless a miracle occurs and the Complete Sellouts lose, victory is no longer a practical concern for the Packers. Win or lose, they will be the second seed in the Democrat Football League playoffs, provided the Sellouts win.

16

Covered Bridge Loop

I walked approximately 13.5 miles with Ron and Elaine on the Covered Bridge Loop at Burns Park this morning in 3:21:29, with 2.25-mile splits of 34:01, 32:16, 34:01, 33:30, 34:51, and 32:50.

14

Basketball Loop/Hays Senior Center/DFL

We walked the five-mile Basketball Loop at Burns Park this morning in 1:43:13. That would be a 17:12:10 fifty-mile pace. I was joined by Ron Gimblet, and Bob McKinney. I walked in a new pair of Asics DS Trainers (the seventeenth version of the shoe, and my fifth) and liked them quite a bit.

I swam 1000 yards at the Senior Center this afternoon in 26:00. It was easy.

On Thursday night the DFL's Russellmania III took a 13.12-7.00 lead over the Green Bay Packers. The Packers, who are roughly twenty-eight point favorites, remain confident of a crushing victory through Sunday and then Monday Night. Their ultimate hope is for victory over Russellmania combined with victory for Americanzi over the Complete Sellouts. Such would give the Packers their first-ever regular-season championship. The Packers' secondary and realistic hope is to defeat Russellmania, or, failing that, to not lose by more than 30.18 points. Either way they will remain in second place, and be assured of a bye into the playoff semifinals.

167

River Mountain Park-Two Rivers Park

We walked for a total of 2:00:39 this morning, first through River Mountain Park, and then Two Rivers Park. I was joined by Bill Brass, Bob McKinney, Ann Moore, and Sandy Venable. We covered just about six and a half miles.

OVERHEARD
"Hey, Pete! Congratulations, man!"
—local radio host David Bazzel at Gary Smith's Easy Runner today. He explained that someone told him I had been named to the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame. I explained that I had not

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "No problem," in response to, "Thank you"

162

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this afternoon in 30:19. Everything felt fine.

156

35th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 35th Street Loop tonight in 47:04, with splits of 12:40, 12:04, 11:56, and 10:24. The callouses on my right foot have resealed. My knee has recovered to about 96.227 percent. My left big toe, out of the blue, began to hurt like two motherfuckers on the second of two round trips to and from Nashville today, but is fine now. It has regressed to an old-person thing. You'll know those someday.

OVERHEARD
"Have you considered not going twenty-three miles all at once?"
—Jane Perkins to her son Peter Perkins, after he complained about pain in his left big toe

154

Levy Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:25. My right knee feels as if someone hit it a little too hard with a ball peen hammer right on the cap. I guess that's what I get for limping on a raw foot for an hour and a half. It feels much better once I've walked for a minute or two. Getting up from the couch sucks.

The DFL Green Bay Packers have defeated Americanzi by at least 114.17-95.52. Americanzi is done. The Packers have a defensive lineman named Charles Johnson going for the Carolina Panthers tonight. The Packers are 9-3, and have clinched their fifth consecutive playoff berth. There is one game left in the regular season.

150

Hash

My right foot and knee made for a painful walk to the bathroom at about five this morning, and they hurt throughout the day. I was concerned until twenty minutes or so into today's Hash run, set by Zach and Lacey from Knoop Park, when I knew they were not significantly injured. They feel fine now as I watch football from my couch. It took me 51:25 to cover about three miles on the run.

148

Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run

BENTON, Ark.—I walked and jogged 23.84 miles in six hours this morning and early afternoon at the Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run in Benton. It was easy, except for a callous on my right foot that wore through to the meat. That hurt quite a bit the last four laps or so, and slowed my progress to sixteen-minute miles. Each lap was 1.015 miles. My splits ranged from 14:23 to 16:35. Ron Gimblet was with me the last three hours. Tammy Walther, the former Miss North Little Rock High Track, was named Miss Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run. Walther becomes the first multiple winner since Harding's Kaitlin May won three consecutive Miss Gulf South Conference Women's Basketball Tournament Pageants, from 2007-2009.

145

38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop this afternoon in 28:38, proper work I believe for the day before a six-hour foot race. Tomorrow morning and early afternoon I'm going with the six-hour option at the Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run in Benton. My goal is to finish somewhere between comfortably and in one piece; my hope is to reach that goal and complete at least twenty miles. I'm putting the over-under at twenty-two and a half.

I'm thankful for...
...those dirt-cheap razors Chris Vratil introduced to me in September. I know I'm a day late with this, and that I ordinarily treat Thanksgiving like any other Thursday (except for all the football), but I just shaved for the third time with the first of those razors and the son of a bitch is still sharper than two motherfuckers

121

Maple Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:17, and made a coffee cup full of cream gravy out of the grease and crunchies from last night's fried chicken. That was my Thanksgiving breakfast, a cup of gravy. It was perfect. Now I'm going to make some more, and bake a can of biscuits, and fry one chicken thigh, so don't feel sorry for me; the gravy was just an appetizer.

OVERHEARD
"I'm thankful for my grandmother's turkey enchiladas."
—eight-year-old boy on the Houston Texans-Detroit Lions pregame show

"I have a grandson who has a legitimate chance of playing college football. Part of me worries about it, because obviously I know about the danger and all, but another part of me says, 'I can't wait!' "
—Bill "Brass Balls" Brass

119

River Trail/Sam

We jogged and walked six miles on the River Trail this morning in 1:35:38. I was joined by Bill Brass, Ron and Elaine, Bob McKinney, and Sandy Venable. Brass and I jogged three miles non-stop in 32:52. The jog felt much better than last week's. I think I could've gone for another hour or more. My left thigh has a deep, though only lightly-colored bruise. There's a little swelling. It is noticeable as I walk and run, though in no way inhibiting.

I picked Sam off the bed this morning and let her out for the first time in eleven days. She did a Jo when I returned from running; she jogged from my porch to the car, and followed me inside. Now she's eaten and climbed back to the top of the bed. I'm interested to see how long it is before she requests out.

117

Pinnacle Mountain

Bill Brass, Ron Gimblet, and I walked this morning from the Pinnacle Mountain Visitors Center, around Pinnacle on the base trail, and back, in 1:44:08. The loop is almost exactly five miles. I fell on the west side of Pinnacle and feared for a moment that I'd broken my left femur. "OK, leg, I'm going to move you off this big rock. Please don't be broken." Now, three hours later, I can still feel the result.

111

Burns Park/Burns Park

We kind of did the Basketball Loop this morning at Burns Park, except Bob McKinney kept changing directions, and Rosemary announced she had to be home by 11 for the air-conditioning guy, so we twisted around and made it back in 1:17:14. I jogged quite a bit more than normal, so probably covered close to five miles. Ron and Elaine were with us. Of course we spent most of the time telling Hash Fest stories.

Starting at about two p.m., I jogged and walked three laps (6.75 miles) of the Burns Park Loop in 1:26:26, with 2.25-mile splits of 30:02, 29:21, and 27:03.

106

Hash/DFL

HOT SPRINGS, Ark.—We walked about forty-five minutes on streets and trails around the Arlington Hotel this morning and early afternoon, and spent another hour or so looking for lovely Stephanie's key, which fell from her sports bra.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers got a field goal and extra point from Pittsburgh Steelers placekicker Shawn Suisham on Sunday Night Football to secure a 96.56-95.22 victory over the Dadburn Gallinappers. The NFL Packers also won, with a narrow victory over the Detroit Lions.

95

Orange Street Loop/Red Dress Run

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 39:10, with splits of 12:50, 13:29, and 12:51, to warm up for Hash Fest and the Red Tennis Skirt Run.

We were out for a little over four hours on the Red Dress Run in downtown Hot Springs this afternoon and evening. I believe we covered about a mile and a half. I drank three gallons of beer, and ate one cheeseburger and 1,007 potato chips. Surely someone will soon publish a photograph of me walking down the middle of Central with a full pitcher of beer in my hand. Oh, and I think I like Anna, a petepretty blonde from Idaho, or else the UCA junior from China I met in one of those fucking bars. I can't decide. I mean, between the women. I'll never remember the bar.

92

38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop this morning in 26:35.

At about noon today, Samantha will have been in the house for six consecutive days. Man, she's weird. She has remained in one 12-inch-by-18-inch spot, on top of the front bedroom headboard, to left side of the books, since about an hour after she came in last Saturday. She leaves to eat, and to use the litter box, and immediately returns. Other than  once a day when I bring her into the den to sit on my lap for a few minutes, that's where she's been, mostly staring out the window into Tom's backyard. She hasn't made a single attempt to leave the house. Perhaps I should take her to the vet. I don't know.

Nashville defeated Central Arkansas Christian, 49-13, tonight at Scrapper Stadium. Mother had a hoot. It was cold, but I bundled her up like an Eskimo, and I believe she was warm throughout. At least a dozen people stopped to speak to us. A senior running back named Jakaree Gaines led Nashville's skill players. He ran for two long touchdowns, and a 30-yard run on fourth-and-15 that put an end to things in the second quarter (Nashville led at halftime, 42-0). Senior quarterback Joel Hendry threw two long touchdown passes to senior receiver LaVonte Thomas. A.J. Whitmore, the quarterback who led Nashville to state championships in 2005 and 2006, walked into the bleachers midway through the first quarter, and was treated like a god. He was hugged by at least 2,000 people. His brother, Jalen Whitmore, is a senior offensive and defensive lineman, and the placekicker for Nashville. Very much unlike his sleek brother, Jalen is 5-8, weighs 300 pounds, and has a butt almost exactly the size of Houston, Texas. Nashville has a cheerleader not very much unlike the Vilonia drummer from 2005. Still, it's nice to be home.

88

Two Rivers Park

I walked and jogged six miles through Two Rivers Park this morning with Bill Brass and Sandy Venable. It took us 1:28:43. We jogged three miles non-stop, after walking the first mile or so, in 33:19.

86

Burns Park Loop

I walked and jogged three laps of the Burns Park Loop this afternoon, so covered 6.75 miles in 1:24:29, with 2.25-mile splits of 29:20, 27:51, and 27:18, after I drove in from Nashville. I'm driving back to Nashville on Friday to take mother to the Scrappers' first-round playoff game. She asked me to. About six weeks ago I called her after supper on a Friday night and asked her to please call with the Scrapper score when she knew it. You know, just to try to engage her in something. As it turns, she went to Epps Roark's room and listened to the game on the radio. She called with the score at about ten o'clock. She's called with scores a couple of times since. I tried for nearly twenty years to get mother interested in Scrapper football, which is clearly the most important matter to residents of Nashville and Howard County. I had no success. I mean, none at all. Apparently all it took were five or six games on the radio in the room of Miss Epps, the ninety-five-year-old woman who owned Quality Shoes in downtown Nashville as mother grew up, and for a significant part of my life. "Peter, would you please come back Friday and take me to the Scrapper game?" I couldn't believe it. They're playing Central Arkansas Christian, the school they beat for the '05 championship on that cold night at War Memorial Stadium. Everyone I talked to in Nashville talked about the game. I guess mother and I will be there, and I bet ya'll can imagine how excited I am.

80

Burns Park/DFL

We walked the 4.8-mile Basketball Court Loop in Burns Park this morning in 1:37:50. I did the first half with Ron and Elaine, and Bob McKinney, and the second with Bob. It's been colder the last two days. It was 35°F when I left my house at 8:20.

The Ratpackers pulled away to a 134.54-77.55 victory over the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers last night. "I guess you could say we picked a good week to lay an egg and shit," Packers Coach Vince Lombardi said. "I mean, we've only scored enough to beat the Rats twice all season. Considering [quarterback Aaron] Rodgers was on the bench, as well as [running back Alfred] Morris, [running back Jamaal] Charles, and [wide receiver] Hakeem Nicks, we played fine. We showed a lot of heart, and I'm encouraged as we move forward. That said, I wonder what I would've thought back in the '60s if some cat had tried out for the Packers with a first name like 'Hakeem.' Or, for that matter, 'Jamaal.' "

73

Lakewood/DFL

I walked for 52:00 around the Lakewood lakes this morning, with Ron and Elaine, and Bill Brass.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers are getting waxed, and it's gonna get worse. They trail the Ratpackers 119.33-68.55. The Rats have two talented wide receivers playing Monday Night Football. The Packers have a placekicker going. I guess if he kicks thirty field goals, we might have a chance (the NFL record for a game is eight). Our biggest problem was that the NFL Packers had a bye this week, and we were unable to acquire a starter to replace quarterback Aaron Rodgers. We went with Tim Tebow*, who didn't do dick. I think he scored three points. Rodgers averages a little over thirty. But, we would've gotten hammered even with Rodgers. We're on a streak of sucking.

OVERHEARD
"I'm not supposed to wait on you; you're supposed to wait on me. Do your job. That right there is why this country's the way it is. Nobody does their job anymore."
—man crossing the Home Depot® parking lot, talking to himself

*Tebow was quoted saying, "I've found it way easier to remain a virgin in Levy than in New York City."

68

Orange Street Loop

I jogged and walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 37:20, with splits of 12:30, 12:42, and 12:08.

65

Burns Park

I walked and jogged five laps (11.25 miles) of the Burns Park Loop this morning in 2:35:40, with 2.25-mile splits of 25:57, 27:11, 29:18, 32:26, and 32:45. Ron Gimblet was with me for the last two and a half, all of which we walked. I started with Ron and Elaine, Suzie and Jamie, Petra, and Chris Woodward. My legs were dead most of the way. Bad runs are, to me, much like bad rounds of golf; they're easy to endure with good company. I had a lot of fun. Plus, I drove past Sam on Orange Street on my way home from the Gimblet's. I pulled into the Chiropractic Clinic parking lot, got out, and Sam jogged to me, meowing the whole while. I brought her home. She's still eating. I think I'll keep her in for a couple of days.

62

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 48:31.

51

Burns Park/38th Street Loop

I walked for 1:45:16 through Burns Park this morning with Ron, Elaine, Bob, and Sandy. Bob's GPS said we went 4.8 miles (there was quite a bit of standing around involved as we discussed election results). This evening I jogged and walked the 38th Street Loop in 25:12, with splits of 12:31 and 12:41. The weather remains nearly perfect.

48

Cooks Landing/Orange Street Loop

I walked on the River Trail, out and back from Cook's Landing, for 1:18:10 this morning with Ron and Elaine, Bill Brass, Bob McKinney, and Sandy Venable, and this evening alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop in 37:41, with splits of 12:36, 12:57, and 12:08.

41

Burns Park

I jogged and walked two laps of the Burns Park Loop this afternoon, or 4.5 miles in 50:57, with splits of 24:58 and 25:59. The weather was perfect—calm, dry, blue, and 60°F.

33

Levy Trail/DFL

I walked and jogged 5.2 miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 1:09:45, and found Samantha. I believe there are women in separate houses by the Chiropractic Clinic who feed her. There was an empty can of cat food on one of their porches. Sam's now inside, out of the rain, eating Cat Chow.

The DFL Green Bay Packers held on to defeat the Sherwood Shigellas, 87.20-73.81. They're not playing well, and have won two consecutive games with luck. The NFL Packers beat the cow shit out of the Arizona Cardinals. They're playing better than two motherfuckers.

28

38th Street Loop/Hash/DFL

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop in 25:24 this morning, carefully looking for Samantha for several blocks around my house. She has been gone since Thursday, but should reappear today.

I arrived late for the Hash, never found the trail, but jogged for 45:27 to cover at least four miles. We started way out west, off Chenal Parkway. The post-run was great fun.

The Green Bay Packers lead the Sherwood Shigallas, 87.20-67.05, after today's games. Sherwood has a receiver named Lance Moore going for New Orleans in the Monday Night Football game.

23

Burns Park

I jogged and walked four laps this morning on a 2.25-mile trail loop, from the covered bridge in Burns Park, for a total of nine miles in 2:01:35. I did them with Ron and Elaine Gimblet, Susie and Jamey, and their friend Chris Woodruff, in 25:24, 28:42, 27:46, and 30:36. Our intervals depended on how long the women took to go to the bathroom, and on how long it took us to persuade Elaine and Susie to start (it seemed as if they failed to understand that starting to walk or jog didn't mean they had to stop talking), and varied from 1:08 to 4:59.

17

Oaklawn Park

Hot Springs—I walked for 32:08 through the Oaklawn Park parking lot and barn area this afternoon, and also lost $12.50 betting on the Breeder's Cup from Santa Anita.

8

Emerald Park

Ron and Elaine Gimblet, Sandy Venable, the woman named Ann who hangs out with Bob McKinney, and I walked this morning from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot up into Emerald Park (Fort Roots), then down and back along the River Trail. We were out for 1:43:39, and probably covered at least six miles. Afterward, Suzie Philips joined Ron, Elaine, and me at the Waffle House on McCain Blvd., where I had the pork-chop breakfast, and the best, hottest plate of biscuits and gravy I've ever eaten.

6

Two Rivers Park

I walked and jogged for 1:27:47 at Two Rivers Park this morning. Bill Brass, Bob McKinney, and Sandy Venable met me on the Little Rock side of the Two Rivers Park bridge, and according to Brass' and McKinney's GPS watches, we went 5.137 miles. We jogged a total of about five minutes, and otherwise walked a leisurely pace, stopping occasionally to look at stuff, and once for Sandy to use the bathroom.

178

Burns Park

I walked a very nice loop at Burns Park with Ron and Elaine Gimblet this morning. We were out for 1:40:41. I might start doing a bit more with them. They were nice company, and the time and distance flew by.

NO HATS OFF...
...to the motherfuckers at the New York Times who put together the ten-minute movie starring a bunch of brainwashed teenagers and twenty-somethings going on and on about why people should vote, without bothering to get one person to say wake the fuck up, votes don't make any fucking difference, unless the race ends up tied, or the person someone would've voted for loses by one, and even then they don't unless the winner has promised the voter at least one drink or meal, and pays off, because people who run for office are jack stains

173

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 45:29.

167

Hash/DFL

I jogged and walked for 39:17 through Burns Park this afternoon with the Hash, after which Elaine Gimblet somehow managed to at least cause me to think about starting the 50K in Russellville a couple of weeks from now. For one thing, she told me there's no entry fee.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers were led to an 84.41-81.29 victory over K-Squad by Denver Broncos' wide receiver Demaryius Thomas this evening. Thomas had seven catches for 138 yards and a touchdown to score 22.01 fantasy points, and help the Packers overcome a 15.40-point deficit after this afternoon's games. The victory moves the Packers (6-2) back to first place in the sixteen-team DFL. The NFL Packers beat the the Jacksonville Jaguars and improved to 5-3.

164

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop tonight in 30:54, full of steak and baked potato and apple pie eaten in Hot Springs with Richard, Jim, Lillian, and Karen Perkins.

161

Maple Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

It's interesting, indeed fundamentally ironic, that ya'll move to the Gulf Coast just about at the same time hurricanes start blowing the hell out of Nova Scotia. Anyway, it turned winter here last night. Yesterday it was 82°F. This morning, at 10:45, it's windy, wet, overcast, and 48. What sucks is that Samantha's been gone since Wednesday. She hates this kind of weather. I looked for her along Orange Street as I completed the Maple Street Loop in 31:04. I hope she's inside somewhere.

One thing that never occurred to me until this afternoon, when Samantha appeared, walking south on 35th Street toward the house, is that neighborhood cats, including mine, probably read this blog. I mean, of course, right? If you look back, you'll see a history of Sam reappearing shortly after I expressed concern about her on Pam's Boy. What's funny is, three hours after her return, as I turned onto Orange Street off 43rd, about a hundred yards away from completing an easy jog of the Orange Street Loop in 32:27, Sam meowed to me from the lowest branch of a tree across the street from the Chiropractic Clinic. She then jumped to the lawn below, and followed me home.

HATS OFF...
...to Evan Osnos, for writing a story about corruption in China—in The New Yorker—without using the adjective "rife." It is the first time since the end of the Nixon administration that anyone has written or said anything about organizational corruption without using it. All previous such stories are, in fact, rife with it

159

Hardcastle Loop

I walked the Hardcastle Loop this evening in 45:30.

154

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 32:27.

151

Levy Loop/DFL

I have callouses on the balls of my right foot that hurt almost as though they were blisters, which I overcame to walk the Levy Loop this afternoon in 33:49. This is one of those rare days when I walked solely because of my streak. I am, however, surprised to not be any sorer than I am after walking and jogging twenty miles yesterday. In fact, I am not sore at all.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers lost to the Cavemen, 124.26-116.98, and are now 5-2 and in second place. The NFL Packers beat the St. Louis Rams, 30-20, are 4-3, and playing at least as well as any team in football.

149

River Trail/DFL

There is no fucking way I'm going to finish a fifty-mile foot race three months and a week and a half from now. As of about noon today, my new goal for Feb. 2, 2013, is to finish the Rocky Raccoon 20. I think I have a chance of being good for that by then. Today I walked and jogged twenty miles on the River Trail, from the I-30 bridge to Two Rivers Park and back, in 5:03:16, and am currently a vegetable. My splits were 15:15 for the first mile, 45:10 for the next three, 14:52 for the next one, 32:21 for the next two, 45:10 for the next three (which put me at ten miles in 2:32:50), 42:04 for the next three, 31:35 for the next two, 14:15 for the next one, 46:05 for the next three, and 16:27 for the final mile. The final ten miles took me 2:30:26. There's no way I'll try twenty miles again until I have lost at least fifteen pounds (I weighed 177 this morning).

On the positive side, my mind remained clear throughout. My blood glucose was at 135 when I left my house this morning, and at exactly 100 a couple of minutes ago, after I ate three PowerBar Energy gels en route to the twenty miles, and shopped at Kroger for frozen pizza and Milwaukee's Best. I now am on my couch excited about baseball and football; baseball so I can cheer like two motherfuckers for San Francisco to keep St. Louis out of the World Series (Game 7 of the National League Championship Series is tonight in whatever the Giants call their stadium, in San Francisco); football so I can cheer for Mikel LeShoure, who has a very outside chance of scoring enough points for the NFL Detroit Lions to lead the DFL Green Bay Packers to victory over the Cavemen. The Cavemen currently lead, 113.27-106.70. The Cavemen have a running back named Matt Forte who will play for the NFL Chicago Bears tonight. He's much better than LeShoure, so I need him to get a concussion on the first play, or somehow run his hand through a meat grinder this afternoon. You know, something gross would be fine for most of us here in Levy.

147

Levy Trail/Hash

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 33:02, and late this afternoon walked and jogged about three miles with the Hash through Gilliam Park, which is out by the airport.

127

35th Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

I had about a third of a mile to go on the 35th Street Loop this morning, when I wondered, in no particular order, if I could go a long way tomorrow morning at the pace I was on, if it was OK that I'd just lied to two young people that I planned to vote for Tracy Steele in the coming North Little Rock mayoral election, and what kind of reaction I'd get if I mailed the Vratils $15 in cash and told them about the ease of Flat-Rate Boxes, new to the post office since they moved to, and subsequently to Texas from, Canada. You know, so they could mail me the clothes I left at their house. Anyway, the answers are no, yes (since it was none of their fucking business), and puzzlement, since a Flat-Rate Box packed with my clothes was on my front porch when I finished in 56:41, with splits of 14:08, 14:20, 13:52, 14:21. Thanks, ya'll.

This evening I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 43:41.

OVERHEARD
"I will leave you two alone, so you can strangle him."
—clerk to man and woman at Hobby Lobby

122

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 29:38.

115

Hardcastle Loop/33rd Street Loop

I walked this course, formerly known as the Sweetheart Loop, on Monday, and for the first time in close to twenty years saw Sam and Donna Hardcastle at their house in Park Hill. Sam and I talked for ten or fifteen minutes. On the other hand, I haven't seen Sweetheart, a cat I saw on this loop the first time I walked it, in March of 2010, since that first time. I think her family might have moved. So, I decided to change the name, this morning, as I walked the Hardcastle Loop in 45:35.

I jogged the 33rd Street Loop tonight in 51:01, with splits of 10:01, 9:46, 10:03, 10:30, and 10:41. I had to slow down to remain comfortable, but that was OK. That's still my fastest five-mile run since early in the winter of 2010.

112

Chandler Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 46:33, and this evening walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 39:31.

OVERHEARD
"Baseball is a game of firsts. Think about it: First hits, first runs, first outs."
—Tim McCarver during this afternoon's National League Championship Series game in St. Louis. Play-by-play announcer Joe Buck blew his opportunity to gain credibility in Levy by not saying, "What the fuck are you talking about, Tim? I mean, c'mon, if you break it down like that, every game is a game of firsts. Think about it."

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "This could be the most important presidential election..." (National Public Radio played a recording this afternoon of a woman interviewed last night at Hofstra, after the President Obama-Governor Romney debate; she said: "I truly believe that this could be the most important presidential election of my lifetime.")

103

Park Hill Loop/Senior Center/Levy Loop/DFL

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:11:06, by alternating one-minute jogs with nine-minute walks. My splits were 14:11, 14:46, 14:03, 14:43, and 13:23. That's an average of 14:13. A sub-twelve-hour fifty-mile run would require an average mile of under 14:24. I don't think that's probable for me.

Once again, I accidently erased the results of a swim. I swam 500 yards at the Hays Senior Center this morning in about 12:30, and knew I was too tired for much more. I did five 50s in between 55 and 60 seconds, and finished with an easy 250. Late this afternoon I walked the Levy Loop in 30:46.

Demaryius Thomas did not come through for the DFL Green Bay Packers. He scored one touchdown and somewhere around ten points last night, not nearly enough as The 546 Posse held on for a 137.46-118.83 victory. I am consoled to know my team scored at least five more points than any of the other fourteen teams in our league. It just picked the wrong week to play The Posse (better known in Levy as, of course, The Pussy), and therefore seeing its record fifteen-game, regular-season winning streak come to an end.

OVERHEARD
"I have two things to say about that, Jerry: 'Thank you,' and, 'Liar, liar, pants on fire.' "
—Woman in the Hays Center pool, after a man walked past and said, "Clara, you're the prettiest woman in this whole building."

94

33rd Street Loop/Senior Center/Orange Street Loop/DFL

I walked and jogged the five-mile 33rd Street Loop this morning in 1:09:26, and at lunchtime swam exactly one mile at the Hays Senior Center in 46:37, with 250 yards splits of 6:32, 6:45, 6:36, 6:44, 6:45, 6:40, and 6:26. I swam the last ten yards in 9.93 seconds. I think this was the first time I ever swam exactly a mile. I remember once swimming 2000 meters, in I think the fall of 1982, at the old YWCA pool by Boyle Park and the Rebsamen Tennis Center.

This evening I ran the Orange Street Loop in 29:01, with splits of 9:58, 9:49, and 9:14, and felt great every step. They were all easy.

The DFL Green Bay Packers are in trouble with one game left in Week 6. They trail The 546 Posse, 137.46-108.47. The Posse is done. The Packers have one player remaining—Denver Broncos wide receiver Demaryius Thomas. He's Peyton Manning's top receiver and has, I'd say, about a five-percent chance of scoring twenty-nine points tonight. He'll need two or three touchdowns and at least one-hundred yards. We'll see.

The NFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Houston Texans, 42-24. Aaron Rodgers threw six touchdown passes for the NFL and DFL Packers. Unfortunately, three of them were caught by The 546 Posse's Jordy Nelson (also known in Levy as Backstabbing Shit Ass).

87

Sweetheart Loop/Hash

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 43:14, and late this afternoon walked and jogged with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers from East End Park for 49:38, to cover a little over three miles. East End Park is close to the airport, and right in the middle of Little Rock's poorest district.

79

Chandler Street Loop/Senior Center/Levy Trail

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 44:40, accompanied the entire way by a perfect, twenty-pound brown dog. She was in the Taylor's yard when I started. She looks a little like a doxon, but almost certainly isn't, at least I don't think. For one thing, she has disproportionately large paws. She might be a puppy, and behaves as if she's been trained, at least a bit. She was perfect on my walk. She barely strayed, except a little when other dog-walkers passed, when we passed yards with dogs, and to chase squirrels up trees, which she loved. That was her favorite thing. Perhaps what stood out most was her graceful walk and jog, which reminded me of those I watched during equestrian events at the Olympics. She has a red collar, but no tags. I hope she has a home and will soon go there. At the moment, an hour after I returned from my walk, she's sitting on the front porch.

I swam 1000 yards at the Hays Senior Center in 25:25.

A bit after my last entry about the dog, before I left to swim, what I think was her father appeared. He looked like her, except much larger; I'll guess he weighed sixty pounds. They ran up and down the street together for a couple of minutes. I walked into the yard, and the little dog ran to me. She leapt up and put her dirty paws on my jeans. I petted her, and she rejoined her dad, and they jogged away, north on 35th Street.

I walked the Levy Trail this evening in 30:41.

73

River Trail

I walked and jogged ten miles on the River Trail this morning, out and back from the downtown, I-30 bridge. I jogged almost exactly seventy percent of the time going out, and it took me 1:02:29. I walked almost exactly all the way back, and it took somewhere close to an hour and twenty minutes. Overall, it was an encouraging effort; it encourages me to start training for 5Ks, and hope I can walk fifty miles come Feb. 2, 2013.

68

38th Street Loop/Senior Center/Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 29:02, and swam 1000 yards at the Hays Senior Center in 25:12, with 250 splits of 6:03, 6:21, 6:28, and 6:20.

There's still a place for slow walks. I, for instance, just walked the Ghetto Cat Loop, in 33:41, to keep from falling asleep at 4:30 in the afternoon.

58

Levy Trail/Senior Center/Levy Loop

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 29:01, and saw a guy on a trencher digging a trench right down the middle of the trail. He said it was for a cable for lights which will reach the length of the trail, from I-30 to Camp Robinson.

I swam 5x100 yards at the Hays Senior Center, with one-minute intervals, in 2:00.9, 2:00.9, 1:59.9, 2:03.1, and 2:01.8. I swam 250 yards up and 100 yards down.

This evening, right after the Reds got thumped, I walked the Levy Loop in 28:24, and felt great. I walked in a pair of Tredz®, which I believe are Academy Sports® generics. I know they cost less than $20 when I bought them in the summer of 2011. I bought them for walking, but they got tucked under my bed and forgotten about until a month or so ago. Now I love them. This will sound crazy, but they feel as though they rock forward from heel to toe and then nearly catapult me, even though they weigh thirteen ounces (according to my very cheap, plastic kitchen scale). I might try running in them. I might also soon try taking one day off between runs, rather than two. Maybe. We'll see.

54

33rd Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

I added a mile to the 33rd Street Loop, and jogged and walked the six miles this lovely morning in 1:08:48, with splits of 11:24, 11:17, 11:22, 11:34, 11:10, and 12:01. The last mile took a little longer since I stopped for water at my driveway, and attempted to test my blood sugar. That attempt failed. It was the first time, I believe, that I have tried to run with the glucometer I now use. It wouldn't turn on. Maybe it was too cold. It's working fine now, on my couch, with Pam and Jo watching. My blood sugar was at 168 when I started, and is at 111 now. That stuff aside, I alternated four-minute jogs with one-minute walks and felt strong every step. That was a 9:33:20 fifty-mile pace.

The Cincinnati Reds will attempt to sweep the San Francisco Giants this afternoon. I can't wait to watch.

With the score tied at 1-1 in the sixth inning, I decided to go for a walk, and walked the Maple Street Loop in 28:41.

50

Ghetto Cat Loop/DFL

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 28:27.

The DFL Green Bay Packers pulled away from the Complete Sellouts to a 138.23-118.48 victory on Monday night, and lead the league at 5-0. The NFL Packers fell to 2-3 with their 30-27 loss to the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday.

42

Levy Trail/Hash/DFL

I considered yesterday that I might not be walking fast enough in my training, so, this morning, I walked 5.2 miles on the Levy Trail, from my house to Camp Robinson and back, in 1:12:59. That's a 14:02/mile pace, which would work out to 11:41:45.77 for fifty miles. I wonder how that would stack up all-time for someone from Levy. I mean, the fifty. I'm pretty confident I just set the 5.2-mile, Levy Trail record for walking.

Tom Zaloudek and I jogged and walked about two miles on today's Hash run, which was set from the parking lot of the old YMCA on John F. Kennedy Blvd. in North Little Rock.

The DFL Green Bay Packers lead the Complete Sellouts, 115.10-105.48, after Sunday's play, and should wrap up their fifteenth consecutive, regular-season victory tomorrow night. The Sellouts have two players left, a kicker named Shayne Graham, and defensive end J.J. Watt, who are projected to score at total of 12.41 points for the Houston Texans against the New York Jets. The Packers have Houston running back Arian Foster left. He is projected to score 22.32 points. The Sellouts defeated the Packers in the 2011 Cooper Bowl.

39

River Trail

It's 49°F at 11 a.m. The Ghetto Cats are confused, since the high yesterday was 84. I walked and jogged thirteen miles this morning, out and back on the River Trail from the downtown I-30 bridge, in 3:04:28, or an average of 14:12 a mile. I didn't keep splits. That's an 11:49:29, fifty-mile pace.

32

Sweetheart Loop/Senior Center

I jogged for a total of eight and a half minutes and otherwise walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 42:34, or at an 11:49:26.7 fifty-mile pace. This afternoon I swam intervals at the Hays Senior Center. I did 10x50 yards with thirty-second intervals, but failed to save the times. They were between fifty-five and fifty-seven seconds. I swam 250 yards as a warmup, and 100 down.

19

38th Street Loop/First Tee

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 29:52. This afternoon I played nine holes at First Tee with Jeff Krupsaw, and Martha McAlister, who once played as an amateur in the U.S. Women's Open, in 52, with 2 pars, 2 bogies, 2 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple. I used 14 putts. I tied Krupsaw to keep the Levy-Broadmoor Cup on Orange Street. Martha was a joy to play with. She hit every shot with a slight draw, right down the motherfucking middle. She, too, is a big fan of Na Yeon Choi.

16

35th Street Loop/Levy Trail

My legs turned dead about half a mile into the fourth mile of the 35th Street Loop this morning, so I stopped at four in 42:35. My splits were 10:48, 10:29, 10:36, and 10:42. I felt great the first three miles. Three days ago, on Sunday morning, shortly after I finished my nice four-mile run in St. Louis, I noticed cold symptoms, which were severe by bedtime. They remained that way through most of Monday, but had begun to taper by the time we got to the baseball game. I'm still sniffling a bit, and hope that this dead-leggedness is a result of whatever I've had.

This afternoon I jogged for a total of five minutes and otherwise walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 28:25.

14

Foggy Bottom Drive Loop/Senior Center

FLORRISANT, Mo.—I walked the Foggy Bottom Drive Loop this morning in 29:20. It's 55°F at 8:41 a.m. I was cold as I walked in a golf shirt and shorts an hour ago.

I drove from Jim's driveway to mine in 5:28:54, and then swam 1000 yards at the Hays Senior Center in 24:50, with 250 splits of 6:04, 6:20, 6:20, and 6:06.

6

Central Parkway/Busch Stadium/DFL

FLORRISANT, Mo.—I walked two miles out and back from Jim's and Karen's house on Central Parkway and Shackleford Road this morning in 31:30. It's overcast and cool, football weather for tonight's baseball game between the Cardinals and the Reds at Busch Stadium, where I walked four laps around the lower-level mezzanine in 36:15, before the Cardinals' 4-2 victory. Our section was packed with cheerleaders and dance teams from John F. Kennedy and Lakeland High Schools, so the Miss Busch Stadium Pageant was vicious.

The Oklahoma Joes made an impressive comeback attempt tonight, but the Green Bay Packers held on for a 139.74-110.93 victory to improve their record to 4-0, and extend their regular-season winning streak to a DFL-record 14 games. We haven't lost a regular-season game since the third week of September, last season.

4

Rhapsody Lane Loop/Foggy Bottom Drive Loop/DFL

FLORRISANT, Mo.—I love the names of some of the streets in the Jim & Karen Perkins Neighborhood. Foggy Bottom Drive, for instance. This morning I jogged the four-mile Rhapsody Lane Loop in 40:56, with splits of 10:39, 10:12, 10:01, and 10:04. I believe those can be considered consistently negative splits, since the last mile is uphill nearly every step of the way. I felt wonderful. In fact, and I have considered this carefully, I might have just had my best, most-comfortable run in metropolitan St. Louis since the summer of 1976. Maybe I should start eating five pounds of Chinese buffet food the night before all of my runs.

Late this evening, I walked the Foggy Bottom Drive Loop in 30:43.

The DFL Green Bay Packers lead the Oklahoma Joes, 135.74-60.44, after Sunday's play, and can't lose, short of a parting-of-the-Red-Sea sort of miracle. The NFL Packers defeated the New Orleans Saints, 28-27.

Maple Street Loop/Foggy Bottom Drive Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 33:23, a nice warmup for a six-hour drive. This evening in Florrisant, Mo., I walked the Foggy Bottom Drive Loop in 30:01.

Levy Trail/Senior Center/Levy Loop Classic

I walked the Levy Trail this morning from my house to Camp Robinson and back (5.2 miles) in 1:23:18, and this afternoon swam 1000 yards at the Hays Senior Center in 24:19, with 250 splits of 6:07, 6:17, 6:06, and 5:49. This evening I walked Levy Loop Classic in 29:47. Karen had some family issues that have delayed my trip to St. Louis until tomorrow (Saturday) morning.

Unfortunately, I had to declare Keegan Bradley's wife the winner of the Miss Ryder Cup Pageant, at least the Levy version, since I saw only her and Phil Mickelson's wife. I'm not sure what her name is, but I'm calling her Phil Mickelson's Wife Jr. They both were as blonde as two motherfuckers.

River Trail

I walked and jogged fourteen miles on the River Trail this morning, from the downtown, I-30 bridge to the Big Dam Bridge and back, in 3:17:50, with approximate splits* of 14:41, 13:23, 14:20, 15:10, 13:55, 15:08, 14:03, 14:01, 14:48, 13:33, 13:13, 14:52, 13:10, and 13:33. Overall, that's an 11:50:07 fifty-mile pace.

*a fucktard pulled down all twenty-eight of the quarter, half, three-quarter, and mile signs, so I had to guess where several of them used to be

Hermann Park/downtown Houston/Levy Loop/Maple Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop

HOUSTON—Erin and I played Hermann Park Golf Course in Houston on Monday and scored 114 and 104, respectively. We later walked from a downtown bar, past Minute Maid Park, for 34:59. Last night, back in Levy, I walked the Levy Loop in 33:24. This morning I walked the Maple Street Loop in 31:47, and I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this evening in 32:10.

My legs felt awful this morning, a feeling I believe attributable to my diet on my drive home from the Vratils and last night here in Levy. For the day, I ate eighteen fried chicken gizzards [from Chicken Express in Henderson, Texas (not Marshall)], and a big bowl of angel hair pasta stirred up with a bunch of butter and pesto. They felt better this evening, but not much.

OVERHEARD
"The NFL is too cheap to pay for the best officials, and so it just goes to show that you pay for what you get. You pay for what you get."
—caller fucking up a cliche on a northeast Texas radio show

Trail/Hash

SEABROOK, Texas—I walked about two miles this morning as my hosts walked their dogs, Scout, Soccorro, and Bear, on some trails a few miles from their house, and then walked and jogged six miles in and around Hermann Park near downtown Houston this afternoon.

Hermann Park Golf Course/Seabrook/Dog Park

SEABROOK, Texas—I played eleven holes of golf with Chris and Erin Vratil at Hermann Park Golf Course in Houston yesterday evening, and scored a 46 for nine holes, and three-over-par ll for two extra holes. Chris scored a 52, and Erin a 56. At about 10:30 p.m., Chris and Erin accompanied me as I walked two miles in roughly thirty-five minutes.

Late Saturday evening I jogged one mile around a dog park, and then walked and jogged about seven and a half miles with Erin from the dog park to the Vratil estate. I believe we spent an hour and thirty-nine minutes on the route.

Levy Loop/Senior Center/Maple Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:08, and also swam intervals at the Hays Senior Center. I did  10x100 yards in 57.8, 56.9, 57.1, 56.1, 56.7, 56.0, 56.1, 56.0, 54.1, and 54.8. I warmed up with 250 yards and down with 100. This evening I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop in 26:43. My legs are a bit shot. I probably should not have jogged so much last night, the day after my five-mile run.

The Reds defeated the Cubs 5-2 this afternoon to become the first team to clinch a playoff spot.

34th Street Loop/First Tee/Humpin' Hash

I walked the 34th Street Loop this morning in 46:27, and played eighteen holes at First Tee this morning and afternoon in 98, with nines of 51 and 47. I had 1 birdie (my first of the year, I think), 1 par, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, 3 triples, and used 34 putts. It was cool enough for me to wear 1 glove, and a black shirt, which I also wore for the Humpin' Hash. In fact, I wore the same short pants for both. We started and ended at the Flying Saucer, with a stop at, I believe, E.J.'s (you know, the sandwich shop once favored by the women's Rugby team). I walked and jogged and stood around for a total of 49:54, and, according to Who the Hell is Misty's telephone, covered 3.78 miles.

River Trail/Levy Trail

This was the best I have felt in a long while, and the longest I've run non-stop in over a year. I jogged five miles on the River Trail this morning, out and back from the Big Dam Bridge, in 53:38, with splits of 10:47, 10:49, 10:41, 10:53, and 10:28. It was sunny and dry, with a hard wind blowing from the north, and about 65°F.

Late this afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:41.

Senior Center/Ghetto Cat Loop/DFL

Intervals in the pool last week might have helped. I swam 1000 yards this afternoon at the Hays Senior Center in 24:57, about a minute and a half faster than my first two attempts. Furthermore, these yards were much easier. At no point did I think I might drown. Maybe two hours later, starting at about 4:45 p.m., I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 29:44 through soft rain. It's 70°F, fucking perfect.

Demaryius Thomas caught eight passes for 78 yards and one touchdown to score 16.44 points for the DFL's Green Bay Packers in their 83.46-69.85, come-from-behind victory over the Capitol City Redskin. Next up for the Packers are their arch rival, the Krupacabras (formerly Krup's Kids).

OVERHEARD
"I eat at Waffle House before every game. I always do. I just think the grease helps get my juices flowing."
—Atlanta Falcons receiver Roddy White

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "I'm just saying"

Maple Street Loop/Hash/DFL

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 29:26, and this afternoon ran Hash for 46:15 way the fuck out in west Little Rock.

The DFL Packers trail the Capitol City Redskin 69.85-67.02 after Sunday's play. The Redskin are done. The Packers have one more player to go, Denver Broncos receiver Demaryius Thomas. He should start tomorrow on Monday Night Football. He must score 2.84 points, which won't take much—one catch for 26 yards would do it, or two for 22 yards, or three for 20 yards. One touchdown would do it. He scored a little over 18 points last week. Still, I have lost at least a handful of games over the years in similar circumstances. We'll see.

OVERHEARD
"At times like this, sometimes I wonder why the game ever became so popular here."
—Judy Rankin, as the wind blew rain horizontally at the Women's Open Championship on the west coast of England, near Liverpool

North Little Rock High

It was 67°F with a comfortable drizzle at the North Little Rock High track this morning. I ran 2x5x200 meters with two-minute intervals between the 200s and four-minutes between the sets, in 56.5, 56.8, 53.4, 54.2, 52.1, and 54.9, 53.4, 53.8, 53.9, and 46.6. I jogged and walked a half mile for my warmup and warm down.


OVERHEARD
"Yeah, I think they oughta change they name and shit. I mean, hell, Redskins a damn insult to Indians everywhere."
—DFL Green Bay Packers kicker Dan Bailey, on the name of his team's next opponent, the Capitol City Redskins

"A problem w/ fantasy sports is that the Packers just beat the cow shit out of the Bears, and I'm pissed." 
—Pete Perkins, owner of the National Football League and Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers, after both teams' starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers scored 18.75 fantasy points (when he was expected to score at least 32) in the NFL Packers' 23-10 victory over the Chicago Bears on Thursday night

34th Street Loop/Senior Center

I walked the 34th Street Loop this morning in 46:24, and swam at the Hays Senior Center. I did 5x100 yards in 2:13.7, 2:12.5, 2:11.3, 2:10.2, and 2:10.2, with a sixty-second interval. I swam 250 yards as a warmup and 100 down. Ninety minutes later I was at Craig's, eating ribs with Tim Cooper. That's gotta be the best $8.20 plate of food on earth.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 31:56.

River Trail

I walked and jogged ten miles on the River Trail this morning in 2:19:12, with splits between 13:22 (Mi. 6) and 14:20 (Mi. 5). I averaged 13:55 a mile, or an 11:35:50 fifty-mile pace. The last three miles were hard. I have a long way to go.

Levy Trail/Senior Center/First Tee/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail this morning in 29:52, and swam 10X50 yards at the Hays Senior Center. I warmed up with a 500 in 6:38, and did the 50s, with sixty second intervals, in 58.3, 57.9, 57.8, 56.9, 58.6, 58.0, 57.3, 59.6, 55.9, and 56.1. My 500 warmdown took 6:46. My hope is that these intervals will help make my non-stop, 1000-yard efforts easier. I met a nice woman named Donna, and nice man named Tommy.

This afternoon I played eighteen holes on the par-three course in 71, with nines of 37 and 34. I had 6 pars, 10 bogies, and 2 doubles, and used 34 putts.

The DFL Green Bay Packers held on last night to defeat the Mudville Nine, 110.95-79.98, in the season-opener.

Maple Street Loop/Hays Center/DFL

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:58. It's perfect out for the second consecutive day. I believe I will golf tomorrow. I rowed 5,175 meters at the Hays Center, at the highest level, or level ten.

The DFL Green Bay Packers had a nice start yesterday, and currently hold a 110.95-55.84 lead over the Mudville Nine. My players have finished, but Mudville has a quarterback and a tight end playing tonight. They are capable of combining for fifty-five or more points, but it's unlikely they will. Unfortunately, the NFL Green Bay Packers lost to the San Francisco 49ers, 30-22.

OVERHEARD
"I love Monday Night when our team's off. All I do is sit, drink like a sturgeon, and cheer like hell for knee injuries."
—DFL Green Bay receiver Hakeem Nicks before the start of tonight's Monday Night Football games

34th Street Loop

Man, I guess it's nice just about everywhere this morning (unless you're a big Razorback fan and watched your team lose to Louisiana-Monroe last night). I walked and jogged the 34th Street Loop in 39:24, and saw lots of people outside.

The Green Bay Packers open their Democrat Football League season against the Mudville Nine this afternoon. Mudville has traditionally sucked, but I faxed all of my players the stories from the Arkansas—Louisiana-Monroe game, and wrote across the top that this is no time to get complacent and shit.

Hays Center

I walked the Levy Trail to and from the Hays Center in 22:09 and 22:40, and rowed 5513 meters in half an hour.

Levy Loop/Hays Center/Levy Trail

My heel barely hurt this morning as I walked the Levy Loop in 29:20. If it had felt this way under normal circumstances, I would've noticed it, but been unconcerned.

Goddamn, man, this swimming is hard. I guess I counted correctly the other day, because I did 1000 yards at the Hays Center this morning in 26:16. My pulse rate was 160 beats a minute when I finished, which is probably within fifteen beats of my max, and I swear to god, I was going as slowly as I could go without sinking.

This afternoon I walked the Levy Trail in 31:59.

OVERHEARD
"You know, I was just thinking, 'What kind of dumbass motherfucker's walking right down the middle of the fucking street, parallel to a fucking sidewalk.' And then I was like, 'Oh, right. Fucking Perkins.' "
—Sam Hardcastle, who was a hard-drinking, funny-as-hell Hasher from c. 1985-95, from his pickup truck on 35th Street

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says "conscious effort"

38th Street Loop

My left heel hurts. It feels as if I stepped hard on a rock or pebble, though I don't believe I have. I know I haven't had a hypoglycemic event significant enough to have left me unaware of anything like that. All I know is that it hurt when I stepped out of bed yesterday and this morning, and that it felt better after I walked the 38th Street Loop in 32:35.

Hays Senior Center/Levy Trail

I swam 1000 yards at the Hays Senior Center this morning in 26:20. I think I might've swum 1050 yards. I know I went through 500 yards in twelve minutes, and somewhere around fifteen or sixteen laps I sort of lost count. It's been a month short of nine years since I last swum laps, and I forgot my key of saying each lap out loud. You know, "One...two..." Even if I did swim an extra lap, that's still the slowest I've ever swum. A routine time for me nine years ago would've been somewhere between twenty and twenty-two minutes, and wouldn't have been nearly as hard as this was. It was all I could do to finish.

After the swim, I walked two miles on the indoor track in 31:14.

This afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:01.

Hays Senior Center/Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked 1.5 miles to and from the Hays Senior Center, in 21:45 and 24:10, and rowed 5,153 meters in thirty minutes on a setting of nine (out of ten). I was quite a bit wobbly-legged when I got up from that machine, but proceeded to do a few squats and situps.

This afternoon I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 30:49.

OVERHEARD
"Well, maybe you shrinking and you don't know it, because I swear he taller than you."
—woman speaking to a man on the Hays Center walking track, which might prove to be a fucking Overheard gold mine

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says "comfort food"