Lakewood Lake No. 3

Four other Geezers and I walked near Lakewood Lake No. 3 at lunchtime today for 54:53.

River Trail

Several other Geezers and I walked approximately six and a half miles from the Clinton Library on the River Trail this morning in 1:53:29.

OVERHEARD
"All of them had kids by they first cousins."
—old man talking to another, who burst into laughter, as they walked into Edwards Cashsaver

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Who is funnier than EDP445?
/www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0lNtAPApCA&t=74s

Ghetto Cat Loop/War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 34:10.
Yesterday afternoon, I played War Memorial Golf Course in 91, a somewhat typical round for me lately, chock full of shots pulled massively to the left. Late in the round, I began to come to a nearly full stop at the top of my backswing, a cure-all technique I have fallen back on for years, in this case as an attempt to stop pulling every single full swing I take. It seems to make it a bit easier for me to begin my downswing with my hips rather than my arms, and it worked like crazy this Christmas afternoon. I ate at the Krupsaws and then played War Memorial in 78, which ties my second best score there. I had nines of 37 and 41, with 1 birdie, 8 pars, 5 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 triples. I used 31 putts.
The Democrat Football League Packers held on for a 142.05-127.87 Cooper Bowl victory over Krup's Kids. Daniel told me before lunch that his dad handled the loss well. Jo and I feel little more than a great sense of relief.

Levy Trail 5K/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 49:47. I went through three miles in 48:14.
It's hard to explain, but Yahoo stills gives Krup's Kids a one-percent chance to win the 2018 Democrat Football League Cooper Bowl. The Green Bay Packers currently lead by a score of 142.05-127.07 and still have a Denver defensive lineman-linebacker out for Monday Night Football. Since defensive players cannot score negative points, it doesn't seem as if there is any way the Packers could lose.
Krup's Kid owner Jeff Krupsaw explained last night that there is: If said player Bradley Chubb talks the Denver coaching staff into giving him a crack at running back and he rushes backward for a total of exactly 150 yards, Krup's Kids will win 127.07-127.05.
"I still have hope," Krupsaw said.

Levy Trail South/Levy Loop/DFL

I jogged for a total of three minutes and otherwise walked to complete Levy Trail South early this afternoon in 30:00.
After watching football all day, I walked the Levy Loop this evening before Sunday Night Football in 34:33. With two games left, I currently trail Krup's Kids 120.87-118.45 However, I have three players left and the Kids one. According to Yahoo, I have a seventy-five percent chance of winning. It predicts I will win 139.13-128.71. We'll see.

East End

Five other Geezers and I started at the Clinton Library and walked off into the East End neighborhood toward the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport this morning for 1:21:13.

Downtown Little Rock/DFL

Six other Geezers and I walked Bob McKinney's annual Christmas tour of downtown Little Rock this morning. We were out for a bit over two and a half hours and covered about four miles.
I never took any of my readers to a downtown hamburger restaurant called The Box, mainly because I didn't know where it was after it moved twice since Walt and I ate there several times in the early 90s, but we walked right past it today. In fact, an old waitress/perhaps owner opened the door to ask us if we planned to sing Christmas carols for her. I will try it again soon.
My memory is that their burgers were fantastic. But if they were, I can't explain why I never made whatever effort it would have taken to figure out where their restaurant was. More likely, I figure, they were just burgers typical of the good sort. I guess we'll see.
The DFL Green Bay Packers are currently 113.26-111.67 Cooper Bowl favorites over Krup's Kids. My kicker goes tomorrow night, but otherwise, all of our players play Sunday. We each have key players going on Sunday Night Football so there will be much suffering until close to 11 p.m.
Fuck. I wish I hadn't made the playoffs.

Levy Trail

A handful of other Geezers and I walked about four miles on the Levy Trail this morning. Part of the route involved a zig over to Mark's Donut Shop for coffee and fried sugar.

War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

Ed, his brother David Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 84, David 89, and I scored 91. I was on my way to a nice round until I scored 9 on No. 18. I had nines of 46 and 45 and used 37 putts. It was clear that Ed and Dave, ten years Ed's junior, were ladled from the same pot.* They laughed exactly the same.
The DFL Green Bay Packers held on for a 112.84-108.96 victory over the Ratpackers to advance to a Cooper Bowl appearance against Krup's Kids, who we hope to bury.
*a line I created the moment this paragraph was written. I think it should become a shop-worn cliché, like a chip off the ol' block

Lakewood Lake No. 3/DFL semifinals

Several other Geezers and I walked a bit over four miles from Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning. I forgot to start my watch but was out for about an hour and fifteen minutes.
The DFL Packers have a bit better chance to advance to next weekend's Cooper Bowl than I hoped for yesterday. We currently lead the Ratpackers 112.84-106.13. We are out of players, but the Ratpackers have one more to go. Yahoo predicts Carolina receiver Curtis Samuels will score 8.08 points in his team's game with New Orleans on Monday Night Football. If so, we'll lose by 1.37 points. I believe he will likely score more points than the Yahoo projection, but you never know. I predict we have about a 25-percent chance to hang on.

Levy Trail Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop early this afternoon in 34:22. En route, I at least temporarily finalized rules to a new car game for use on Levy Trail walks and/or runs. It seems to provide a bit more action than my old city-street version of the car game. For instance, when I left my driveway, I tossed out an over-under of 12, which I reached a bit less than a mile into my walk. A total of 22 cars qualified. This new game could make for a good gambling opportunity for my readers.
The DFL Packers had a crushing blow on Thursday Night Football when the Chargers' receiver Keenan Allen injured his hip and was pulled from the game before he scored a single point. I'll bet I haven't had more than two or three zero-point games by a player since I joined this league back in 1997.
What terrible late-season luck. We lose our best player because he apparently likes to beat women in hallways and our third best to an injury.
Oh well. We are currently 113.28-96.29 underdogs to the Ratpackers and will probably lose, but there's a long way to go and still of room for hope.

War Memorial Golf Course

It was dark gray, windy, and cold at War Memorial Golf Course this morning and afternoon. Ed Pennington and I each scored 91 (John Czarnecki, who sucks, is in Argentina, where it's fucking 77°F right this goddamn minute. He and his girlfriend are scheduled to return on Jan. 1). I had nines of 45 and 46, with 2 pars, 6 bogies, 8 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 36 putts.

River Trail

Six other Geezers and I walked from Burns Park Golf Course to the skateboard park and back on the River Trail this morning in 1:17:09. Someone said we went 4.28 miles.
The DFL Green Bay Packers advanced to the playoff semifinals with a 124.48-104.94 victory over the Cavemen. We will play the Ratpackers for a Cooper Bowl berth beginning Thursday. We are currently 117.54-114.93 underdogs.

Levy Trail North/DFL

I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime today in 32:24 as a warmup for a trip to Hot Springs this afternoon. Jeff Krupsaw and I are going there for Terry Wallace's funeral. Terry was the track announcer at Oaklawn Park from 1977 through 2011. He continued to work in-house simulcasts before he retired in the summer of 2017. He died Wednesday at the age of 74. Most Pam's boy readers met him at least a time or two.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers lead their playoff quarterfinal-round game with the Cavemen, 105.48-104.94. The Cavemen are out of players. We have Seattle running back Chris Carson and defensive end Frank Clark going in their Monday Night Football game with the Minnesota Vikings. The only way we can lose is if Carson finishes the game with a loss of seven or more yards and Clark doesn't get a sack. The odds of that happening are roughly—no kidding—26,000-1 against.

Senior Center

I walked two miles on the Senior Center track this morning in 29:43.
While walking, I heard a songwriter on NPR say something about having "nowhere to go" at some pivotal moment in his life, and the writer in me responded with a thought that went something like, "When you have nowhere to go, you can go anywhere you want."
Now I'm working on an angle for a retrospective closing chapter of A Different Closet, one a bit like the final few pages of Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach.
We'll see.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 32:47. The day reeks of football —cold, overcast, and wet, with fallen leaves everywhere. Tonight should be a good one to watch the Class 2A championship game between Junction City and Hazen (which is on U.S. 67, about five miles toward North Little Rock from Craig's). I may have said something once about Hazen's press box crew a few years ago. They were are all big Craig's fans but couldn't understand why any of the rest of us would ever agree to eat in the dining room. Not one of them would say or admit that they had done anything other than carry out from Craigs.

War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and afternoon. Ed scored 90 and John 97. I scored 99, with nines of 51 and 48. I had 1 birdie, 4 bogies, 8 doubles, 4 triples, 1 quadruple, and used 35 putts. My game is so bad that I plan to put my entire bag of clubs in timeout for at least a week. I might not play before Christmas.

The DFL Green Bay Packers salvaged a 114.19-77.09 victory over Krup's Kids last weekend and advanced to the DFL playoffs as the third seed. We are currently 112.29-112.10 first-round favorites over the Cavemen, who defeated us 105.95-103.83 seven weeks ago.

LETTER TO THE TIMES

Pete Perkins | North Little Rock, Arkansas
Humans will not stop burning fossil fuel until there is no more fossil fuel. Our only hope, therefore, is to adjust to that inevitability—a probable outcome, I believe, despite our country's obsession with voices brainwashed by the far left and right.
Either way, don't worry. The earth will survive until long after the Sun explodes. It will do fine without us.

Levy Trail Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 32:16.
The DFL Green Bay Packers will win unless, no kidding, its and the Philadelphia Eagles' running back Josh Adams losses 287 rushing yards in his team's game against the Washington Redskins. Whereas it's not impossible for a running back to rush for a loss of 287 yards in a game, if Adams were to do it, I wouldn't care that my team lost. I mean, heck, we're in the playoffs anyway. Rather, I would cherish having watched what all men of learning would label the most phenomenal occurrence since the Big Bang.

Levy Trail Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:28.
I finally have a fantasy player whose performance has crossed the border between die-hard sports fans and the general public. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with his stature as a running back, which is nearly as high as anyone's in the NFL. Nope. My superstar Kareem Hunt...well, shit, you can read. What's good for the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers is that we picked up his backup with the Chiefs. I read about Hunt's trouble at 4 p.m. Friday, apparently before any other DFL owner and was able to get Spencer Ware, a very talented, young reserve running back with the Chiefs, who yesterday released Hunt. We'll see what happens, but the DFL Packers need Hunt to express remorse like two motherfuckers and apologize until another team signs him. Crazy thing is, this could work well for us. This could give us a two-for-one deal next season. We'll see.
For the time being, we really need Ware to step up and help us beat Krup's Kids and then march with us through the playoffs.

War Memorial Stadium

I walked for a total of 40:41 through War Memorial Park and around War Memorial Stadium late this morning before I watched Greenwood beat the fuck out of Benton in the Class 6A state championship football game.

PARAGRAPHS OF THE DAY

A day after severe weather postponed high school football playoff games across Arkansas, there was nothing to slow down high-powered offenses Saturday except defensive effort, and the Greenwood Bulldogs brought it.

War Memorial Stadium was a bowl of room-temperature sunshine throughout Greenwood’s 45-14 victory over the Benton Panthers in the Class 6A state championship game in Little Rock. Though no one missed Greenwood’s typical display of offensive excellence, its defense shone, too.

War Memorial Golf Course

My golf game is teetering. I played with Ed and Steve Grace (John said his foot "hurts like 3 MFers" in an email today) at War Memorial Golf Course this morning and played the last three holes in 11-over to finish with a 96. Steve scored 82 and Ed 89.

Cook's Landing/DFL

Several other Geezers and I walked a total of about five miles out and back from Cooks Landing on the River Trail this morning in 1:40:47.
The bad news is the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers lost to the Ratpackers, 104.51-92.55. We're 8-4 and in third place. The good news is that we are officially in the playoffs for the first time since our eight-year run of playoff berths came to an end after 2015 season. We had to play the Ratpackers without Kareem Hunt, since the Kansas City Chiefs took the week off. We'll have him back next weekend when we play archrival Krup's Kids.

HIndman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 86. I scored 98 and John 105. I had nines of 47 and 51, with 1 birdie, 2 pars, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 whatever the fuck a 10 on the Par 4 9th hole is. I used 35 putts.

PARAGRAPH OF THE DAY
A lot of times when I’m on his lap, Rock Allen says he loves me. He’ll just flat out say, “I love you, Jo.” I don’t know what he means, but whenever he says it, he’s usually rubbing my head or chin or petting my back from collar to tail, and I can’t help but purr. I guess it’s a good thing for him to love me, but I know for a fact that even he’s unsure of what all that business means.

Pam's Path

This is a good day among those in a college football season. Michigan plays Ohio State at 11 a.m. Central on Fox and Auburn Alabama at 2:30 p.m. on CBS. Both games will make or break each of their participants' seasons. Consequently, irrational passion will walk out of your television, grab your shoulders, and shake the fuck out of you for roughly seven hours.
To warm up, I walked Pam's Path through fog as it turned to cloudless blue sunshine this morning in 1:04:40.
PARAGRAPH OF THE DAY
Rock Allen’s lap is my favorite place. Sure, others come close, and I go to them when Rock’s at work or wherever, or home and particularly restless. Times like those, I like our windowsills, especially the three in the den that overlook the most significant of our four televisions and are pretty much in direct sunlight most of the day. Also, there’s a twin bed in one of our back bedrooms no one has slept on in my twelve years here, and I’ve curled up on it so many times there’s a permanent ring of gray and white fur in the middle of its white, moth-worn cotton bedspread. Furthermore, there’s a rug in the basement bathroom I like a lot. It’s the color and shape of a cartoon turtle and as comfortable as rugs get. Rock almost never goes down there, so game days when he’s constantly up and down to pee or get cans of beer, I head to that bathroom to get out of the way. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t once stepped on me as I napped on that turtle's shaggy back, but I'm here to tell you, when he has the time, there’s nothing better than the security, comfort, and guaranteed warmth of Rock Allen’s lap.

McMain Mall

I walked from my car and all around McMain Mall and back this afternoon for 36:54.

War Memorial Golf Course

John and played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 92 and John 96. I had one birdie but not a single par. I'm pretty sure I've never had that combination before. I used 36 putts.
By the way, we were the only two people on the course. It was closed, but the guys in clubhouse told me Wednesday that anyone could play for free on Thanksgiving, sort of like Fort Roots all those years ago. The weather was nearly perfect. We were in T-shirts after about the fourth hole.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:13.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...anyone who expresses any concern whatsofuckingever, for christ's sake, about the type of lettuce on their Thanksgiving table. Fucking lettuce

...the next person who asks anyone to tell them what they are thankful for. C'mon. Where's the end to that piece-of-shit question? I'm thankful for the freedom to tell you to mind your own fucking business

OVERHEARD
"Hey, those guys are cutting in line. They're cutting in line. Those skinny fuckers are cutting in line."
—leader of a pack of festive old men on the first tee at War Memorial Golf Course as I walked off after ten holes of practice

"I was absolutely dumbfounded. It's the most phenomenal thing you can see in nature."
—David Baron, author of American Eclipse, on National Public Radio

Senior Center-North LIttle Rock High/DFL

I walked for a total of 42:38 late this afternoon around the Senior Center track and to and from the North Little Rock High track where I walked two laps. I think I went a little less than 2.5 miles.
The DFL Green Bay Packers pulled away on Monday night to a 125.36-106.39 victory over Last Chance FU. We remain in second place out of 14 teams with two regular-season games left.

Levy Trail South/War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:18.
This afternoon, John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course, which is in much better shape than it was nearly a month ago. John scored 88 and I scored 90, with nines of 44 and 46. I had 1 birdie, 1 par, 9 bogies, 4 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple.
The DFL Green Bay Packers almost can't lose. We lead the Last Chance FU's 107.27-106.39 and have a great player going, Kareem Hunt, a Kansas City Chiefs running back who is projected to score 18.61 points tonight. The FU's have a mediocre defensive lineman for the LA Rams who is projected to score 2.26 points. Odds are, FU's guy doesn't score anything, and we win no matter what.
We'll see.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
When mini-mart clerks get blown away, do they die in service to their country?
.

Levy Trail North/DFL

I walked Levy Trail North late this morning in 31:20.
The DFL Green Bay Packers had a big Thursday night with three players in the Green Bay-at-Seattle game (two NFL Packers and Seahawks running back). We're projected to win somewhere around 125-105. We need to win to stay in second place and perhaps move into first.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 28:35.

I PLAN TO STAB
The next woman who says, "In this country, we live under the rule of law," or the equivalent. I will stab men who say it, too, but I have never heard a man say it

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at dusk today in 33:39. Mary Lyons walked most of the final mile with me. It was the first time I had seen her since last Christmas at Kroger. She laughed uproariously at my anti-turkey routine. I predict it won't be long before people begin to tell me they've heard it.
By the way, when I woke up yesterday morning, there was about a half inch of snow on the ground and cars. It was the earliest accumulation of snow I remember seeing since Oct. 25, 1991.

Levy

When I began my 32:47 walk around Levy this afternoon, very light snowfall was underway. When I walked back into my house, it was snowing somewhat like two motherfuckers, and more than an hour later, it still is.
At 10:05 p.m., there's a good solid dusting of snow in Levy. I don't mind writing that it's lovely since it ain't on the roads. Beyond this, fuck snow. No kidding, fuck it in the ass with a big plastic dick.

Walmart/DFL

I walked from my car to and all around the McCain Walmart and back this evening for 35:53, during which I bought a bag of high-fiber oatmeal raisin cookies, a lamp, some plastic flowers, and a little cake pan that cost eighty-eight cents.
The DFL Green Bay Packers managed to pull out a 107.66-101.71 victory over the Cajun Navy during Monday Night football. We are 7-3 and in second place in our 14-team league.
I wrote in great detail about my agony as the game between San Francisco and the New York Giants progressed.
Here was my favorite: 9:57 p.m. We now lead107.66-101.71 with 2:46 left in the game. The 9ers just kicked a field goal to go up, 23-20, but there are all sorts of ways we could still lose. The key would be for the Giants to tie the score and force overtime, which they of course almost certainly will.
Don't let your children play fantasy football. I can tell you, it's the only reason I drink. If it weren't for fantasy football, I would have a handicap under five and a wall littered with Pulitzer Prizes

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How much comfort can an ESPN telecast of a San Franciso 49ers football game provide someone whose house just burned down?

Bear Loop

CONWAY—My goal next football season, provided I am still on the UCA beat, is to permanently establish the Bear Loop. In five attempts this fall, I was stalled by either hot weather or trails through the Jewel Moore Nature Reserve so flooded as to have left me with shoes far too muddy to bring into the press box.
This afternoon's attempt lasted 54:12.  It includes a lap around the inside of Estes Stadium, which is neat with players all out there warming up in the crisp, cold sunshine. You know, the sort that fucking begs for a football game.

OVERHEARD
"Yes. Wyoming is one of those square midwestern states that no one knows where is."
—University of Incarnate Word sports information director to her assistant in the UCA press box on Saturday night, who began the exchange by saying, no shit, "Is Wyoming a state?"

Hindman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this afternoon. Ed and I scored 95 and John 106. I had nines of 50 and 45, with 3 pars, 8 bogies, 6 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 36 putts.
I hit 10 of 12 fairways with my driver today, which might make this the best driving day of my 33-year golf career. It's part of why I only scored seven strokes better than two days ago but felt as if I'd improved by fifty.

Hindman Park Golf Course/DFL

I sucked today. There was nothing weird wrong with my swing. I just sucked. I hit a bunch of really nice shots, but couldn't putt, chip, or pitch worth a fuck. My iron and wood shots keep barely missing. Ed, John, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course today. Ed scored 87. John scored 107. I scored 101 with nines of 49 and 52. I needed a 7 on No. 18 to break 100. I was 20 feet off the green in 3 and scored a 10. Fuck.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers beat the Fat Chicks, 115.75-98.40. We are now 6-3 and in third place. My team is pretty good, contenders for the first time since 2015.

River Trail

Several other Geezers and I walked on the River Trail this morning for 2:00:30.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
When someone says, "I vote because I want my voice to be heard," what the fuck do they mean?

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 34:02.

Bears Loop

CONWAY—I walked the Bears Loop yesterday afternoon in 54:45. The loop is named after a dead dog from Texas, a dead Alabama football coach from Fordyce, Arkansas, who once played high school football with Pete's sophomore biology teacher Dub Martin, and a golfer from Ohio who won quite a few major golf championships.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Who the fuck wrote this headline for the lead story in today's edition of the New York Times: Give me a goddamn break. America is in turmoil?  I mean, sure, I understand, that's all anyone is talking about, the way our whole fucking country is in a state of upheaval, ferment, and mayhem. Sure, I see the riots. I see the marches from coast to coast. I understand the majority of our lives have been irrevocably changed by the current presidential administration. ...Wait a minute. Hold on. I take it back. This is a great headline:

A Nation in Turmoil Prepares to Deliver a Verdict on Trump

Ain't nothing the same anymore*

*President Trump embarrasses me. He shouldn't be our president, but his current role does not excuse hyperbolic headlines from the best paper in world history  

Hindman Park Golf Course

Ed and I played Hindman Park Golf Course. Ed scored 87. I scored 94 with nines of 51 and 43. I had 2 birdies (Nos. 11 and 14), 1 par, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 31 putts. Both nines were soaked. They flooded yesterday. Among the many indicators was, no kidding, a fresh, shiny shad right in the middle of the No. 14 fairway.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 32:29.

Hindman Park Golf Course/DFL

Ed and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 90, and I scored 95, with nine of 45 and 50. I had 3 pars, 8 bogies, 6 doubles, and 1 triple, and used 36 putts.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers held on to defeat the Complete Sellouts, 105.75-98.40. We're 5-3 and in sixth place (six teams make the playoffs) with five games to play. The NFL Packers lost a heartbreaker in Los Angeles to the Rams, 29-27.

Levy Trail North/DFL

I walked Levy Trail North this afternoon in 31:30.
My Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers have set me up for another Monday Night heartbreak. We lead the Complete Sellouts, 115.75-93.11. We're done, and the Sellouts have New England tight end Rob Gronkowski and some piece-of-shit defensive player who are projected to score a combined 13.66 points, so we should win easily. Nevertheless, I don't feel good.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Has anyone ever looked forward to all-you-eat breadsticks at Olive Garden ("I understand. Their food tastes as if they brought it over from the frozen-food section, but who doesn't love breadsticks?")?

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:58.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Did one motherfucker stay up for the LA Dodger's 2-1 18-inning Game 3 World Series victory over the Boston Red Cocks late this morning?  Some douche named Mike Muncy hit the game-winning home run at roughly 2:55 a.m. Central. Jo and Pete left nearly an hour earlier after the 16th. Jo might've made it had Rock not turned the TV off.

Levy Trail Loop/

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime Friday in 32:33.

OVERHEARD
"Aaron Rodgers just pulled a rabbit out of his head."
—ESPN Monday Night Football analyst Jason Witten after Rodgers directed the Green Bay Packers to a 33-30 comeback victory over the San Francisco 49ers on October 15. I'm not sure why I waited so long to report this

War Memorial Golf Course

Poor War Memorial Golf Course. The Razorbacks played at War Memorial Stadium a week ago last Saturday. Cars have always parked on the golf course for the game, which is bad enough, but under ordinary circumstances the damage is minimal. A week ago last Saturday, it rained Friday night and all day and night Saturday. Cars literally sunk into fairways on the course. It's butchered. It was closed all last week. It opened this morning, but it still looks like hell, with significant damage to fairways on holes Nos. 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, and 18, so to most of the formerly lovely course. I'm not sure how long it will take it to recover.
John, Ed, and I played it today. Ed shot 82. I shot 90, and John stopped after 12 holes. I had nines of 43 and 47 and used 34 putts.

Levy Trail North/Hindman Park Golf CourseDFL

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 32:10.
This afternoon, I played Hindman Park by myself in 88, with nines of 40 and 48. I had 6 pars, 8 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 36 putts. I hit the first three greens in regulation, four of the first five, and six total on the front nine. Obviously, I was thinking about the possibility of breaking 80, which would be just my luck, to do so without one or more witnesses. Thank god I kind of fell apart on the back. In fact, after playing the front in 4-over, I played No. 10 in 3-over. The round took me three hours, nine minutes.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers buckled offensively on Monday Night Football to allow the Cavemen to hold on for a 105.95-103.83 victory. The Packers fall to 4-3 to drop in the overall DFL standings from second to sixth. However, we have the fourth highest points total, which means that, on average, we would outscore ten of the league's fourteen teams. We have had two consecutive Monday Night losses that came down to the final seconds.

Levy Trail 5K

I jogged for one minute of each five and otherwise walked the Levy Trail 5K right after Gunsmoke today in 43:12. I went through three miles in 41:46, with splits of 14:17, 13:35, and 13:54.
Here's an email I sent Jeff Krupsaw this morning that might help explain my obsession with fantasy football, now in its 22nd season: Hi Krup,

I noticed this morning that the Green Bay Packers-Cavemen game isn't the only that hinges on the results of Monday Night Football. Your SchwarBears and the Trojan Men are in deep, too.

To me, this is when fantasy football is the most fun. I need Ryan to throw a bunch of passes to a shitty tight end and an injured secondary wideout, which, of course, is the last thing you want, being a Julio Jones owner and all. On the other hand, the last thing the Trojan Men need is for Ryan to throw a bunch of passes to Jones.

Anyway, it's great that I know at least four people, including the two of us, who care a great deal about a game between teams with records of 2-4 and 1-5.

Bears Loop

CONWAY—These days, whether you're a college girl or a middle-aged sportswriter, you have to remain paranoid every minute of every day, no matter what.
I still haven't figured out this Bears Loop (named after two Bears, the Hall of Fame golfer from Ohio and a dead dog from south Texas). Today, my attempt was foiled by a pretty coed and contemporary western civilization's insistence that we panic, act rashly, and generally go ape-shit in order to remain safe no matter what, in this case on a trail out on the Jewel Moore Nature Preserve.
There are at least three marked entries to the trails, and after entering near the middle, I decided to start by walking to the main entrance and then back. However, about twenty yards from the main entryway, a lovely coed walked into the preserve. She smiled at me without so much as a hint of provocation and said something like hi or hello, and my plan to turn back around was thwarted. To have done so would've put exactly two people in a rather large nature area—one a 20-year-old woman and the other a 59-year-old man following the former by less than half a football field. To avoid the possibility that I would have scared her close to death and perhaps had the police called on me two hours before kickoff, I just walked on back to and around the crowded campus for a total of 1:09:17.
This is why I prefer to watch football on TV in Levy with no one else around.

Hindman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, and I play Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 88 and John 98. I scored 92 with nines of 46 and 46. I had 4 pars, 8 bogies, and 6 doubles, and used 33 putts.

Hindman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. I scored 91, Ed 98, and John 101. I had nines of 46 and 45, with 3 pars, 12 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 35 putts. Most notably, I bogeyed Nos. 9 and 18 at fucking Hindman. I'm pretty sure no one has ever done that before and that they plan to build a statue of me.

Levy Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Loop late this afternoon in 33:01.
The DFL Green Bay Packers remain in second place after a 149.18-138.82 loss to The Get Down Boys. We're 4-2. The NFL Green BayPackers are 3-2-1 after their 33-30 victory over the San Francisco 49ers.

Levy Trail 5K

I jogged just a little bit but mostly walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 47:42. I went through three miles in 46:01.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "To love America is to love all Americans," because the idea that I have to love Justin Bieber, the Kardashians, President Trump, Stephen Colbert, Michael Strahan, and Alyssa Mastromonaco in order to love America strikes me as fucking insane

Hindman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, Steve Grace, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning. Steve scored 79, Ed 90, and John 104. I scored 98 with nines of 47 and 51. I had 1 par 11 bogies, 4 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 hypoglycemic quadruple, and used 33 putts.

Levy Trail South/Hindman Park Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:02.
This afternoon, after I practiced chips and pitches at Hindman Park Golf Course, I played Holes 1-2 and 18 from the red tees with two sand wedges, a 60° wedge, and a putter, in 6, 7, and 6, or six-over. So, I had 3 doubles and used 5 putts. That was fun and should help my short game when we play the whole course tomorrow morning. I might try a similar practice session at War Memorial.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How is it possible that I listened to one hour and nine minutes of Hurricane Michael coverage on National Public Radio today without one motherfucker so much as mentioning climate change? How is that fucking possible? Did someone decide to rank human welfare above politics?

OVERHEARD
"Are you worried about what you might find?"
—National Public Radio host Robin Young to someone digging through Hurricane Michael rubble after, I guess, she had just fucking run out of anything else to ask: "Oh, you know, dead babies and that sort of thing, Robin, but, you know, fuck. You never know what you're gonna get out here."

War Memorial Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 86, Ed 87, and John 98. I used 33 putts and had 2 pars, 11 bogies, 4 doubles, and 1 triple.

War Memorial Golf Course

John and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 90 and John 94. I had nines of 45 and 45 and used 38 putts. My putting was awful. I had six three-putts, including three in a row, from 15-17. I had 1 birdie (with a circa 50-foot putt on No. 11), 1 par, 8 bogies, 6 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple.

Start-finish line/DFL

WILLIAMS JUNCTION—I walked a little over a mile from the start-finish line of the Arkansas Traveller 100-Miler and then walked most of the way back with some guy from West Virginia late this morning. I was out for 41:14.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated the 546 Posse, 134.88-118.86, to improve to 4-1. The standings don't get updated until Tuesday morning, but I think we're in second place in our 14-team lead. Though Aaron Rodgers had a big game for us, his and my team, the NFL Packers, lost to the fucking piece-of-shit Detroit Lions, 31-23.

Powerline

JESSIEVILLE—I walked out and back from the Powerline aid station toward the Copperhead aid station for a total of 59:02 late Saturday morning on the Ouachita Trail 100-Miler course.

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 85 and Ed 89. I had nines of 44 and 41, with 4 pars, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 34 putts. We weren't trying to play fast, but we got through in 3 hours, 18 minutes.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...myself after having watched ten minutes of Jameela Jamil, the most self-righteous person to have yet lived. I accidentally turned on Amanpour & Company and now simply can't turn away from such a pure version of pomposity. Jesus. She's right up there with Alyssa Mastromonaco

OVERHEARD
"Who didn't grope a girl when they were in high school?"
—dipshit father of a golfer in the Class 6A Tournament on Monday. His comment came completely out the blue. I wish I had known him well enough to say, "My best guess is almost everyone out here except you, and maybe your son."

Levy Trail South

I walked a kind of modified Levy Trail South this morning in 34:12. I'm not sure, of course, but I think I covered a little bit over two miles. The modification involved a dead battery and a walk back and forth between here and O'Reilly's Auto Parts.

Long Hills Country Club/DFL

CABOT—I walked 18 holes of Long Hills Country Club today, so I guess I went about three miles. It was good work, particularly considering how hot it was. I was out there to report on the 6A Boys State Golf Tournament.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers defeated the Trojan Men, 121.00-90.90. We're 3-1 and currently in fourth place (though, based on total points scored, we are the ninth best of fourteen teams).

Levy Trail South/Hindman Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 92, and I scored 97, with nines of 49 and 48. I had 3 pars, 9 bogies, 3 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple, and used 38 putts. I struggled mightily with chips and with lag puts on the much larger greens at Hindman. I had four three-putts and just one one-putt.
Last evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:20.

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed and I both played War Memorial Golf Course this morning in 91. I had nines of 50 and 41, with 6 pars, 5 bogies, 1 double, 3 triples, 2 quadruples, and 1 pentagonal. I used 32 putts. It rained another inch last night, so we played through mud and muck. After 7 holes, I was 18-over par. I played the final 11 in 9-over.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why doesn't Lester Holt know that I will turn NBC Nightly News right the fuck off as soon as he tells me that coming up next is supermodel Gisele to tell how she has recovered from a run of panic attacks? Jesus fucking Christ, Lester.

War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

It stopped raining yesterday for the first time since late Friday afternoon, and I had enough time to play nine holes at War Memorial Golf Course.
I played Holes 1-2, 7-10, 12-13, and 18, or a par 33 nine-holes. I scored 46, with 2 pars, 4 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 quadruple. I used 17 putts.
By the way, the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers defeated the Kruptilians (owned by Jeff Krupsaw's son Daniel), 102.66-89.49. We are now 2-1. The other team I own, the NFL Packers, lost to the Washington Redskins, 35-17, and are now 1-1-1.

War Memorial Golf Course

John and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 88 and John 101. I had nines of 46 and 42, with 1 birdie, 3 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, and 4 triples, and used 36 putts.

Levy Trail Loop

It is still hotter than two motherfuckers in Levy, but a produce man at Kroger told me rain's coming and that it might start feeling like fall as a consequence. We'll see. In the meantime, I walked the Levy Trail Loop this afternoon in 34:01.

War Memorial Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 82, Ed 84, and John 97. I had nines of 39 and 43, with 1 birdie, 4 pars, 7 bogies, and 6 doubles. I got up and down on 4 of 9 chips within 10 yards (44.4 percent) and used 35 putts. It was hotter than two motherfuckers. At 3:11 p.m., it's 96°F with a heat index of 106, the hottest it's been since at least two goddamn summers ago.

War Memorial Golf Course

The heat got too me today. I quit after nine holes of War Memorial Golf Course. I scored 43. I used 18 putts, got up and down once in five chips (20%), and had 3 pars, 2 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I hit four greens in regulation.

Fort Roots Loop

Six other Geezers and I walked the Fort Roots Loop from Burns Park Golf Course this morning in 1:47:48.

Ghetto Cat Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked about seventy-five percent of the Ghetto Cat Loop before I made a wrong turn. Apparently, I thought I was on the old Levy Loop. I'm not sure exactly how far I went, but I was out for 36:03. I went through the first mile in about sixteen minutes.
John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf this afternoon. I scored 86 and John 99. I had nines of 43 and 43, used 32 putts, got up and down on 4 of 17 chips (23.5%), and had 1 birdie, 2 pars, 10 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple.

SPECIAL LEVY NEWS UPDATE
please read

"Monster" Hurricane Florence will destroy three states and a longer stretch of coastline than previously feared: Millions will, no shit, die

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Last Updated Sep 12, 2018 1:47 PM EDT

Hurricane Florence fast facts:

• Florence is a catastrophically deadly Category 14.5 storm approaching the U.S. East Coast 
• 
  
• Storm's center will "approach the coast of North Carolina or South Carolina on Thursday and Friday and wash both states into the Atlantic Ocean." Parts of Georgia are also likely "buttfucked"
• 
  
• About 1.7 million people in North and South Carolina and Virginia are expected to die; hurricane watches and warnings extended across an area with about 5.4 million residents, most of whom stand no chance for survival

WILMINGTON, N.C. -- Communities along the Carolina coast wasted their time as they prepared for the onslaught of Hurricane Florence as forecasters Wednesday warned that the monstrous storm could hesitate just offshore for years, perhaps into the 2020s -- washing a longer stretch of coastline than previously feared from the face of the U.S. map  -- before pushing its way inland, where rainfall exceeding 1,000 feet is a near certainty.

The National Hurricane Center's projected track has shifted somewhat south and west, also throwing Georgia into "hell" as Florence moves inland. 

On Wednesday afternoon, Georgia's governor declared a state of emergency.

"I told you motherfuckers to quit burning all that coal, didn't I?" Gov. Dick "Big" Deal said. "Now everyone who can't swim at least a couple of hundred miles is fucked."

Levy Trail North/War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this afternoon. Ed scored 88. I scored 98 and John 102. I had nines of 52 and 46 and used 34 putts. I can't explain why I played so poorly.
On the other hand, I don't remember having enjoyed a round of golf more than this one. I'm still fucking laughing five hours later.
This morning, I walked Levy Trail North in 31:46.

Levy Trail North/Hash

I walked Levy Trail North late this morning in 29:53, with splits of 15:24 and 14:29.
This afternoon, I interrupted football long enough to realize Rachel is even better looking than I thought (with a nice splash of freckles I'm not sure why I didn't notice in the first place) about halfway through an approximately hour-long Hash run set from a house not far from UALR.

Bears Loop

CONWAY—This loop in not named after the University of Central Arkansas Bears but rather in honor of the greatest ever Scottish golfer and a dead dog from Texas who once helped fuck up half my house. It includes a long, lovely trail that winds through the Jewel Moore Nature Reserve. I was on it for 12:19 of my 42:54 walk this afternoon before UCA's game with Murray State.
By the way, this was not the entire loop. I'll try to work that out next time, provided it isn't as humid as it was today. I walked in my game uniform, and my shirt was starting to stick to me.

War Memorial Park

I walked and golfed for a total of 47:25 at War Memorial Park on Friday evening before a football game between Little Rock Catholic and Jacksonville began at War Memorial Stadium
I played three holes—Nos. 7-9—with a 60-degree wedge and a putter. I scored 7 and 6 on the Par 4s, and 4 on the Par 3.
At 8:28 p.m., we're in a lightning delay with 11:44 left in the second quarter. Catholic leads Jacksonville, 14-0.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 31:21 through the light breeze and mist of Tropical Storm Gordon.

War Memorial Park

John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and afternoon. Ed scored 87. I scored 89 and John 103. It was another weird round for me. I had nines of 49 and 40, used 33 putts, and had 5 pars (including 4 consecutive from 15-18), 7 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, 1 quadruple, and 1 pentagonal.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 30:22, thinking all the while of my gladness at the end of the John McCain eulogy, an epoch surely to go down in Levy as the greatest exhibition of bipartisan political hypocrisy in the history of western civilization—eight long days of Republicans kowtowing to the memory of a man who they know did nearly as much to damage their midterm election hopes as the seeming insanity of President Trump and Democrats, television, and, print media so pleased by McCain having allied himself to their contempt for our human disaster of a president that they shamelessly planted their faces in his crotch the moment he fucking died.

Senior Center

I walked two miles around the Senior Center track in 29:47 as I listened to another memorial service for the greatest American to have yet lived.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:56.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says "closure"

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Would any of this John McCain celebration have occurred if not for his lifestyle change at the start of the Trump phenomenon? I, no kidding, can't remember similar honor bestowed on anyone since JFK

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed, John, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 80. I scored 86 and John 101. I had nines of 45 and 41, used 32 putts (with a goddamn 4 putt), and had 6 pars, 8 bogies, 3 triples, and 1 pentagonal. It was a weird fucking round

Camp Clearkfork

CRYSTAL SPRINGS—Z-Man and I drove to Camp Clearfork and were out for about forty-five minutes on a run set by John Czarnecki. The new pretty Hasher I commented on four weeks ago was there. Her name is Rachel.
This morning, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:43.

Hendrix College

CONWAY—I walked around and across the Hendrix College campus this evening for 37:54, briefly with a fluffy cat splotched black, brown, and white who two students addressed as Charlie. It was my first time on the campus since January 2006 and to walk about on it in the daylight since spring of 1979. I don't believe I appreciated its loveliness as much as a twenty-year-old. I was surprised how easy it was to find Staples Auditorium, where three of my friends and I listened to author Richard Ford twelve and a half years ago.
I was there to report on a football game played at the school's Young-Wise Memorial Stadium. Charleston defeated Melbourne, 37-14.

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this afternoon. Ed scored 87. I scored 90 and John 105. I had nines of 46 and 44, used 33 putts, and had 1 par, 9 bogies, 7 doubles, and 1 triple. We laughed a lot.

Levy Trail

Five other Geezers and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning for 1:06:26.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail South

This time we made it five holes before rain ran us off the course. John Czarnecki and I tried. We both scored 27 through No. 5 at War Memorial Golf course this morning. I had 2 bogies, 1 double, and 2 triples.
The humidity in Levy has plummeted through the day. In fact, it reminds me of a line from the final chapter of A Different Closet: There were a few days like this each August. Cool wind from the northwest had blown away the dank air, and high clouds diffused into a translucent sheet that spread over the sky to leave a bright white afternoon, breezy and dry and almost cool, all serving as an advertisement for fall.
Anyway, I walked through it to complete Levy Trail South this evening in 32:54. I started a little early so I could get back for kickoff of a preseason NFL game on ESPN.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 32:30

War Memorial Golf Course

The rain had just started. By my way of thinking, it was coming down pretty good, but John Czarnecki gave it the ol', "Ah, this ain't shit." So I hit one of my longest drives of the year—maybe 230 yards—down the No. 7 fairway, and the fucking bottom falls out. A half an hour later, when the rain finally backed off a little bit, we returned to our cars. I left a brand new dollar-fifty golf ball behind.
Including an 11 of the Par 4 second hole, I played six holes in 33. with 1 par, 3 bogies, 1 double, and 1 whatever the fuck an 11 on a Par 4 is. Ed scored 30 and John 33.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South tonight in 34:23. I saw my first toad frog of the year right around 36th Street. Heck, I turned around to take another look just to make sure I had seen what I thought I'd seen. People from up north might not understand the significance of this sighting. Back in the '60s and '70s, as I grew up, I'd put the over-under on toads I saw a day at ten. Now I see one every two or three years. While I'm at it, green grasshoppers fall into the same category. Thirty years ago, they were all over the place in the summer, like toads. It's been two years since I last saw one—on the windshield of my Impala in the Levy Kroger parking lot. It seems odd to me that the climate-change advocates haven't harked on these changes, except that I myself only noticed the absence of toad frogs and green grasshoppers a couple of years ago (two or three, I think). All I'm certain of was that they were everywhere throughout my childhood and are almost nowhere now.

OVERHEARD
"I hate to say it, but I never gave a hoot about Aretha Franklin. She was sort of like Bob Dylan to me. I was probably missing something, but I never understood her popularity."
—Pete in a conversation with Z-Man

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 83 and Ed 85. I had nines of 45 and 38, used 30 putts, and had 3 pars, 12 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. Yips only affected two putts: one, from eight feet, rolled 10 feet past, and I missed a straight-in two-footer.

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 80. I scored 92, with nines of 44 and 48. My struggle with putting yips continues as it has for the last few months. Well, no. I have started to work on it, and it's getting better. Heck, I only used 32 putts today, but I did miss two three-footers.  It only occurred to me a few days ago that yips have been my problem. I'm trying all sorts of different grips. They have each helped, at least temporarily.
Blow-up holes have also been a problem. I had 2 pars, 9 bogies, 5 doubles, 1 quadruple, and 1 pentagonal.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop after golf this evening in 32:26.

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 85. I scored 90 and John, who reverted to his form of last year, 114. I had nines of 44 and 46 and used 30 putts. I had 5 pars, 5 bogies, 5 doubles. 2 triples, and 1 quintuple (five-over on the Par-3 17th). I had a very good chipping and putting day, minus the yips. For the first time in years, I returned to my old right-index-finger-down-the-grip technique, and it seemed to significantly help.
I hurt my left knee on No. 17 when I pitched into a rock and the ball flew back into my knee bone at six-hundred miles an hour from a foot away. It still hurts like two motherfuckers.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says someone or some group is, or they are, "outraged." Who is ever truly outraged? What the fuck does that even mean?

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South through a soak-me-through-to-my-motherfucking-underwear thunderstorm this afternoon in 30:27.

The River Club

SARASOTA, Fla.—Marion and I played The River Club this morning. It was 6,165 yards long with lots of sand and water. Marion scored 110 and I scored 96, with nines of 47 and 49. I had 5 pars, 4 bogies, 7 doubles, and 2 triples.

Jo, no shit, meowed non-stop for ten minutes when I returned to Levy this evening. I love her but was afraid for a bit that she had lost her cat mind.

The Meadows Groves Course

SARASOTA, Fla.—Marion and I played The Meadows Groves Course this morning. It's a par 63, similar to War Memorial Golf Course but with lots of sand and water. I scored 87 and Marion 92. I had nines of 45 and 42. I had 4 pars, 8 bogies, 3 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple.
Last night, as Marion and I drove home from Gulfstream Park and the greater Miami metropolitan area, Marion told me about his daughter Grace's friend Molly. He went on and on. "Perkins, I'm telling you, man, she's got you written all over her. I mean, she is exactly the kind of girl you gush over. Hell, she acts like you." He said his wife Kim kidded he liked Molly more than Grace. "I'm telling you, Perkins, you gotta figure out some way to meet her."
Marion is more absurd than I, believe it not.
Molly and Grace are musicians who live in Nashville, Tennessee. Molly is a bit more serious of the two, at least in musical terms. She makes a living at it. Here's a video I found: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Lp4_8Hm_mE

Magellan Street

SARASOTA, Fla.—I walked and jogged, primarily on Magellan Street, for 34:56 this morning from Marion Waugh's house.
Afterward, Marion and drove to Miami where we bet a card of 13 races at Gulfstream Park. I won a net of $62.40. Marion won about $25. It was a great day. I had not been to Gulfstream since January 2000. The track has been refurbished and is more spectacular than I remembered. It was fun beyond reason.

Golf

SARASOTA, Fla.—Marion Waugh and I played a 6,200-yard course this morning. I can't remember the name. Marion scored 108 and I scored 98. I played about as well as I have played for the last couple of years. I had nines of 48 and 50. The course was gorgeous.

Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport

ATLANTA—I walked for 39:14 in the Delta terminal of Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport on Thursday morning. The winner of the Miss Trip to Sarasota Pageant was a flight attendant on a flight from Little Rock to Atlanta. It was the first time a flight attendant has won one of Pete's pageants.

Senior Center

I walked two miles at the Senior Center this afternoon in 33:10.

Levy Trail North/Hash

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 33:16. A week and six hours after I completed the Full Moon 50K, my legs feel healthy. Nothing hurts. I signed up yesterday for the 14-mile Mount Nebo Trail Race, scheduled for August 25, four weeks from yesterday. I tried it two years ago, but cut it short by about three miles (I didn't go all the way to the bottom and then back up). This year, as then, I'd like to do the whole thing without making people wait on me too long. We'll see.
There was a woman at Hash this afternoon I would marry just on the outside chance things would work out. Other than that, the run sucked dicks. We were out for 2:55:46 from someone's house in Jacksonville. The GPS reports ranged from 7.2 to 7.7 miles. My legs are scraped to threads. This was a ridiculous run set by some insecure motherfucker who should do something other than set Hash runs. In all, though, the six-foot-tall brunette made the ordeal worthwhile. I hope I can someday work up the nerve to ask her name.

Levy Trail Loop

I alternated one-minute runs with three-minute walks to complete the Levy Trail Loop early this afternoon in 26:59.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who orders one of those fancy-smancy pizzas with four circular splotches of cheese rather than cheese all of the fuck over them. They're the pizza equivalent of fried chicken and waffles and should be stopped

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this morning in 31:43.

OVERHEARD
"I'm relieved and grateful to no longer live in the same town as that fucking sand cat."
—Mike Moustakas after he was traded from the Kansas City Royals to the Milwaukee Brewers on Friday

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 33:07 as a warmup for a trip to Nashville to see my mother, a trip that, by the way, is partially inspired by the greatest of all of the internet's assets, which of course is that it makes it easy to replace a lost or disabled television remote control.
Back in the old days, if you lost a remote, you had to buy a new TV (and don't fucking mention universal television remote controls, because they suck dicks at least enough to make them unusable by my mother or me). Now, you just plug in the make and model of the TV and send somebody around $10 and five days later there's a new remote in your mailbox. Mom ruined hers, and I will take her a new one about five minutes from now.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail North

Steve Grace, Ed Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Steve scored 76, Ed scored 86, and I scored 94, with nines of 48 and 46. I was playing the worst I have played since e was here, just terribly, but then played the final four holes in three-over. For the round, I had 1 par, 6 bogies, 9 doubles, 2 triples, and used 39 putts. So, I was pleased with the finish and my relative lack of leg soreness. I might be about ready for some walking and jogging.
I walked Levy Trail North this evening in 32:45.
By the way, I was the 123rd of 128 Full Moon 50K finishers. My official time was 8:53:08.69.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 37:13. My legs remain very sore from the Full Moon 50K, but nothing seems injured.

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 86 and I scored 91, with nines of 46 and 45. I used 34 puts. My legs are sorer than two motherfuckers.

Full Moon 50K

WILLIAMS JUNCTION—Give or take five seconds, I finished the Full Moon 50K in 8:53:07.

Levy Trail

I alternated one-minute jogs with three-minute walks out and back south from my house on the Levy Trail this morning for 16:03. The idea was to go a mile, primarily for the purpose of blood-sugar regulation throughout the afternoon and early evening. I went out at about 9 a.m. and felt great. In all ways other than fitness, I have never better prepared for an ultramarathon. I'll put the odds of my finishing under nine hours at 4/5, but I am nevertheless moving the over-under to 8:40.
My principle goal, however, is to finish with at least eight more tubes of Gu in my pants than I start with. To be clear, I'm going out there to make some of my goddamn money back.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How mixed were the emotions of Kevin Kisner's wife after he, as the leader of the Open Championship, said: "It's good for me that my family isn't here, because if they were, I'd be back at the hotel bored out of my mind."

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 33:08 to complete my training for the Full Moon 50k. My current over-under finishing time is 8:25. The cutoff time in nine hours. The 50k is scheduled to start at 7 p.m. tomorrow.

Levy Loop/Levy Trail South

I walked the good ol' Levy Loop this morning in 33:10. Here's hoping my legs feel as good Saturday as they do right now.
Starting at about 8:30 tonight, after helping Susy and her gang put crap in plastic bags, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:46.
OVERHEARD
"He threaded that shot like a needle through a haystack."
—BBC broadcaster on theopen.com early Thursday afternoon

Senior Center/Levy Trail North

I walked two miles on the Senior Center track at lunchtime today in 31:22.
This evening at 8 o'clock, I alternated three-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Levy Trail North in 27:30, with splits of 14:27 and 13:03.

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played War Memorial Golf Course through roaring heat this morning. My shoulder hurts a lot. Ed scored 82 and I scored 86, with nines of 43 and 43. I had 4 pars, 8 bogies, 4 doubles, 2 triples, and used 38 putts.

Burns Park Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

By and large, I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete two laps of the Burns Park Loop this morning in 3:13:36. I was pleased and encouraged.
This evening, James Barr and I played the front nine of War Memorial Golf Course. I scored 40 and James 41. I used 14 putts and had 3 pars, 4 bogies, and two doubles. I hurt my shoulder. I'm not sure how. At nearly midnight, it hurts like two motherfuckers. Ed Pennington and I are scheduled to play in the morning.

Levy Trail North intervals

My legs felt remarkably lively this morning as I completed a mile of Levy Trail intervals in 11:30 en route to a Levy Trail North interval session of 25:18 in I which alternated one-minute fast walks with one-minute runs at lunchtime today. I'm more encouraged than ever for my coming attempt of Susy's Full Moon 50K, crazy as that sounds. My current blood glucose is—let me check—42 mg/dl, which may explain my confidence and why moments ago I spoke of Serena William's recent performance in the British Open.*
*truly, if I ever express belief in the Williams sisters' golf excellence, please call the Arkansas Department of Human Services so they can send someone to look in on me

Levy Trail South/Hindman Park Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 31:55.
Late this afternoon into early evening, I played the front nine of Hindman Park Golf Course in 47. I used 16 putts and had 2 pars, 5 bogies, 1 double, and 1 quadruple (on No. 1).

OVERHEARD
"Seventy-seven!"
—overweight, gray-haired seventy-year-old right after he sunk a putt on the 18th green of the big course at Burns Park. His three partners seemed delighted for him

"That scared the fuck out of me."
—unidentified Cincinnati Reds player on the mlb.tv postgame show after the Reds' 8-2 victory over St. Louis on Saturday

Ouachita National Forest

I walked and jogged 12.6 miles out and back for 3:28:10 on part of the Full Moon 50K course in the Ouachita National Forest this morning with Bill Brass, Sandy Venable, Pete Ireland, and a man named Maurice.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail Loop

John, Steve, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Steve scored 74, I scored 92, and John 94. I had nines of 46 and 46 and used 36 putts. I had 4 pars, 6 bogies, 5 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 pentagonal. I now have medium JumboMax grips on each of my 13 clubs. Thus far, they seem to help. We'll see how they do as the summer goes on.
Early this evening, when it was still hotter than two motherfuckers, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:30. It is now full-blast summer in Levy.

Levy Trail North

I walked and jogged Levy Trail North this morning in 29:33.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the motherfuckers or motherfucker who designed safety collars that fall off five minutes after cats go outside and who insisted on public service ads that show people who have lost the ability to breathe or speak or are deformed because they fucking smoked

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How the fuck many cats have choked to death on their own collars and is that number anywhere at all close to the number of cats who have been killed by fucking cat pounds because they didn't have anything to wear their tags on because safety collars fall right the fuck off the instant they walk into anything?

Lakewood Lake No. 2

Five other Geezers and I walked 4.14 miles this morning in 1:18:22 from Lakewood Lake No. 2.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this evening in 33:05.

Pam's Path intervals/Levy Trail Loop

I walked and jogged Pam's Path at lunchtime today in 57:05, with splits of 15:12, 13:27, 13:45, and 14:41. Through the middle two miles, I alternated four-minute jogs with three-minute walks.
Late this evening, I walked the Levy Trail Loop through darkening dusk in 31:51. It's kind of cool out. This would be a perfect circumstance, right now at 8:42 p.m., to hole out from seventy-five yards on No. 8 at Fort Roots.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail 5K

John, Ed, Steve, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Steve scored 75, Ed 77, John 92, and I scored 93, with nines of 47 and 46. I used 35 putts. It was hotter than two motherfuckers.
We kept team scores, and John/Steve defeated Ed/me, 167-170. That was a fucking hoot.
This evening, I walked the Levy Trail 5K in 48:13. I went through three miles in 46:44.
By the way, I hit a 246-yard drive today, at least close to my longest since c. 2012. I put JumboMax® grips on my driver, nine-wood, and nine-irons yesterday. They're goofy big, but I hit them well enough to order ten more. Of course, they probably won't affect my game, but I'm willing to try about anything.

Levy Trail 5K intervals

In the midst of a walk-jog of the Levy Trail 5K, I alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks four times. I completed the course in 45:58 and went through three miles in 44:25.

Firecracker

After reporting on the Firecracker Fast 5K for the paper, I walked from War Memorial Stadium to my car on Kavanaugh Boulevard in the Heights, about two and a quarter miles, in 38:15.

Cook's Landing/Levy Trail South

Six other Geezers and I walked out and back from Cooks Landing on the River Trail this morning for 1:19:23. I think we went a little over four miles.
This evening, beginning at about 6:30, I walked Levy Trail South in 32:30.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail South

I golfed with John and Ed at War Memorial Golf Course yesterday. Ed scored 80, John 88, and I scored 101. The last three holes took me 25 strokes. I went 10, 4, 11. Crazy.
This morning, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:14.
By the way, since Na Yeon Choi has essentially quit, my new favorite on the LPGA Tour is Sung-Hyun Park, who is right in the mix at the LPGA Championship on NBC. Adjust your antenna. We should get a great Sunday of women's golf.

Levy Trail

Bill Brass, Sandy Venable, and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning for 1:06:23. Our conversations centered on the Arkansas Razorbacks' baseball team. Last night, with a one-game lead in the best-of-three College World Series championship series, Arkansas led 3-2 with two outs and two strikes in the bottom of the ninth. The batter hit a sky-high foul ball that dropped right between three Razorbacks, any one of whom could have made the catch and most likely would've had this one motherfucker not come dashing out the blue to call everyone off and then overrun the ball and let it drop. The batter who should've been out then singled to tie the score. The next guy walked, and the fellow after him hit the ball to Wyoming to force Game 3 tonight. It's on ESPN at 5:30 p.m., one game for the whole ball of marbles. As you can imagine, everyone around here is pretty excited. Arkansas has never won a national baseball championship. It lost in the final game in 1979, 1-0 to Cal State-Fullerton. Here we go again. My best guess is that Oregon State wins, 400-2.

RESULT Oregon State won, 5-0

Lakewood Lake No. 2

Seven other Geezers and I walked near Lakewood Lake No. 2 this morning for 1:12:03, then I drove over to North Hills Country Club to try out my new (used) Nike putter. It feels great.

Levy Trail Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 33:36.
This afternoon, John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course. Ed scored 90, and John and I scored 92. I had nines of 47 and 45 and used 34 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Since turning people away is a grand American tradition, why would a restaurant serve anyone it objected to? There aren't laws against that, are there?

Hash

I ran with the Hash House Harriers from East End Park this afternoon for 1:13:17.

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Steve Grace, a UALR geologist named Michael, and I played War Memorial Golf Course today. Michael is a friend of Steve's who joined us for a round last week. He seems like a nice guy. Steve scored 73, John and I 92, and Michael 102. I had nines of 43 and 49 and used 35 putts.

OVERHEARD
"Well, well, well. How the turn tables."
—Michael Scott in a meeting between the Michael Scott and Dunder-Mifflin Paper Companies

Lake Syvia

WILLIAMS JUNCTION—Pete Ireland of Benton leads runs on trails and such west of town a couple of times a week, and I joined today for the first time. We did an out and back from the original Midnight 50K start-finish line. I was out for 3:32:46 and probably covered close to 13 miles. Bill Brass and Sandy Venable were with me most of the way.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Is it a coincidence that the day after New York City announced it would no longer arrest people for smoking marijuana that fucking Burger King introduced a side order called Crispy Pretzel Chicken Fries?

Fort Roots Loop

Five other Geezers and I walked a longer version of the Fort Roots Loop from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot this morning. I think we went about 6.5 miles. It took us 1:58:28.

OVERHEARD
"He is probably the most unique player in the NBA draft, and I know there are no gradations of unique. My wife's going to kill me for that. I should say he is unique in this draft."
—Jay Bilas, basketball expert on ESPN

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this morning in 33:23.

War Memorial Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 79. I scored 80 and John 96. I had nines of 42 and 38, with 1 birdie, 2 pars, 11 bogies, 2 doubles, 1 triple, 1 quadruple, and used 29 putts. This was the best I have played since last summer.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this evening in 33:19.

Pam's Path

I alternated three-minute walks with four-minute jogs to complete Pam's Path this morning in 52:45, with splits of 13:16, 13:09, 13:30, and 12:50.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...Tim Rosaforte if he doesn't quit personifying US Open courses. He gets it today if I hear him say anything at all like, "The leader after the first round of the US Open is Shinnecock Hills Golf Club."

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail

I jogged for exactly one minute and otherwise walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:31. My plan is to run a bit more this afternoon or evening after work, so the jog was a test. My legs felt fresh.
Beginning a bit before 7 p.m., I alternated four-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete 2.5 miles on the Levy Trail in 30:47, an average 12:19 a mile.

Maple Street Loop/Levy Trail South

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in an easy-feeling 29:37.
I saw Red, the cat on West Street whose true name in Sammy, for the first time since she and I were formally introduced by her owner Helen Langley on June 3 a year ago. Helen saw me petting her and walked out. She and I agreed that it had to have been at least three years since we last spoke. Crazy, since it had been a mere 53 weeks.
By the way, I don't know why I had always thought Red was a boy. She nevertheless remains in my estimation a world-class cat, among my favorites not named Pam or Jo.
This evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 31:37.

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Loop

I alternated three-minute walks with four-minute jogs to complete the Orange Street Loop in 27:08.
This evening, I walked the good ol' Levy Loop, founded the summer of 1995, in 33:16.

Levy Trail 5K/Levy Trail Loop

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 44:01 with splits of 14:18, 14:04, and 14:12. I went through three miles in 42:35.
At about 8 p.m., I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 30:41.

Levy Trail North/Hash

I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime today in 32:09.
There is a new, small park not far from the airport right across the street from a huge park that was closed twenty years ago after it was taken over by drug dealers. We used to have Hash runs out there in the 1980s. I can't remember its name, but I do remember that we were always the only white motherfuckers. Maybe two years ago, someone began a run in the new park and ran us through the old, overgrown, kind of sad fucking park. It's fantastic, great for Hash runs. We did it this afternoon, and I was out for 1:09:19. Someone's watch said we went 3.54 miles.

Levy Trail 5K

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 44:12. I went through three miles in 42:50.

War Memorial Golf Course

I scored 97 for a round of War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 79, Steve 80, and John 96.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 31:37.

That’s a tough road to hoe: Randy Rainwater collected

“I’ll always have a soft place in my head for that guy.”

“We may have a rabbit or two up our sleeves.”

“His cupboard is out of ammunition.”

“They’re circling their tents.”

“It’s six of one, a baker’s dozen of another.”

“There are more than two sides to a coin.”

“When in Rome, talk like the Romans.”

“He’s getting a little old in the tooth.”

“He’s green behind the ears.”

“He’s got his heart in his helmet.”

“You gotta give credit where the devil is due.”

“It’s not always greener on the other side of the grass.”

“Darrel Walker, born in Chicago, but now an Arkansas native.”

“I think he’s in Europe, or maybe Spain.”

“You gotta be careful when you start throwing stones at glass houses.”

“They’re still trying to hang Jesus Christ.”

“David didn’t go over and give Goliath a hug before he killed him, even though that would’ve been the Christian thing to do.”

“I can answer that with one word: It sucks.”

“I’m only going to say two words: SMU.”

“When it comes to college basketball, you only need to know three words: March Madness.”

“Write down this number: Col. Glenn Road.”

“That reminds me of Dream On by Gary Weaver.”

“You gotta love it when the Hog Wild Band fires up. The crowd just goes nuts when they play the William Tell Overdrive.”

“The actual bowling of Razorback Stadium — and when I say ‘bowling,’ I mean the actual enclosion of both end zones — will be completed in two years.”

“We have used the athlete as a kicking dog.”

“He played when the baskets were still made out of peach.”

“They’re wearing a couple of basketball crowns under their belts.”

“Coach Baker did a great job of recruiting that kid. He found his mother’s hot button.”

“That reminds me of Lou Gehrig’s last speech: ‘Today is the greatest day of my life.’ ’’

Foggy Bottom Drive Loop

FLORRISANT, Mo.—I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute walks to complete the Foggy Bottom Drive Loop in 28:46.

Sunset Park

FLORRISANT, Mo.—I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete an out-and-back course from Jim's and Karen's house to the Missouri River in 1:07:00. It took me 34:19 to reach the river by way of Sunset Park and 32:41 to return. My ankle/foot felt fine.

OVERHEARD
"You know, I don't know how to spell Pete. Is it P-E-A-T?"
—borderline beautiful red-headed clerk at a Burger King near Farmington, Mo., who had to write Pete's name on an order for two Whoppers

Ghetto Cat Loop

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:14. Dr. Bill put me on some sort of anti-inflammatory that might have helped my ankle a little, but it still hurts. Still, nothing showed up on the x-rays, and I can go with only minimal pain. I plan to ignore the somewhat slight discomfort and return to training. I'd really like to finish the Full Moon 50K (the old Midnight race) in under nine hours, or at least not get pulled from the course.

Senior Center

I walked two miles on the Senior Center track at lunchtime today in 33:38. My right ankle/foot still hurts. I hope Dr. Bill fixes it this afternoon or gives me pills that will.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 31:26.

Senior Center

I rode some sort of non-ankle-hurting piece of aerobic equipment for thirty minutes at the Senior Center this morning.

OVERHEARD
"It's nearly 100 degrees in the Cowtown today, and the low scores are equally as hot."
—who the fuck else at the Fort Worth Classic

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this morning in 31:23.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 32:58.

Levy Trail South

My right ankle, or areas near it, hurt quite a bit through the first half mile or so of my progression through Levy Trail South this morning. It later felt borderline fine. I walked and jogged the course to complete it in 26:56. As much as I don't want to, I might take a few days off. We'll see.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this evening in 31:49.

OVERHEARD
"It's a little bit like you're asking me, 'When did you stop beating your wife?' It's the sort of question you can't really answer."
—Stephen King on CBS This Morning, after someone asked him something about the sources he uses for his novels. It is 8:52 a.m., Tuesday, May 22, approximately four minutes after Pete overhead King's comment. He wonders if someone will raise hell

Levy Trail North/Hash

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 33:21.
Late this afternoon, when it was hotter than two motherfuckers, I was out for 1:17:37 with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers. The run started and ended at Rattlesnake Ridge, which is a new park not far from Pinnacle Mountain.

Levy Trail 5K intervals/River Trail

I alternated one-minute runs with one-minute walks through the middle two miles to complete the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 39:58, with splits of 13:04, 12:02, and 13:25.
My right ankle hurts a bit, I believe as a result of adjustments I have made for the recent discomfort of the corresponding Achilles tendon, strained in the Ouachita Trail 50K.
Fuck the Duchess of Sussex. Nothing from the royal ranks holds a candle to this morning's Miss River Market, the new leader of the Miss My Life Pageant. She appeared shortly after our Geezer walk of the River Trail, which we completed in 1:48:03. She is one of those two or three out-of-the-blue women I will remember until I stop remembering. Already I regret not having spoken to her.

KINGPIN PETE'S BULL'S-EYE PREAKNESS SPECIAL
Go with a simple $30 exacta, Justify (No. 7) over Good Magic (No. 5). It should pay about $300.
RESULT
Rats. We looked rich until the final twenty yards. Justify held on to win, but Good Magic was passed very late by Bravazo, who finished second, and Tenfold, who finished third. Good Magic was fourth. Bravazo is trained by longtime Oaklawn Park regular D. Wayne Lukas, and Tenfold by Oaklawn regular Steve Asmussen.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 33:22.

Burns Park Loop

I walked and jogged two laps of the Burns Park Loop this morning in 3:29:54, with laps of 1:33:31 and 1:56:23. I ran the first lap alone and the second with five other Geezers.

Fort Roots Loop/Levy Trail 5K

Bill Brass and I walked the c. six-mile Fort Roots Loop this morning in 1:41:47. We started with a handful of other Geezers from the parking lot of Burns Park Golf Course.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail 5K in 49:43. I went through three miles in 48:05.

Levy 5K intervals

Between a half-mile warmup and a quarter-mile warm down, I alternated three-minute runs with two-minutes walks to complete the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 38:44, with splits of 13:19, 11:47, and 12:37. I did the two intervals miles in 11:50 and 12:06.

Lakewood Lake No. 2/War Memorial Golf Course

I joined a handful of other Geezers for a walk around Lakewood Lake No. 2 this morning. I got there a little earlier than the rest and covered about six miles in 1:45:22.
Later, I played War Memorial Golf Course with John, Ed, and Steve. Ed scored 79, Steve 81, John 95, and I scored 96, with nines of 49 and 47. I used 38 putts.

Levy Trail 5K intervals

I alternated one-minute runs with one-minute walks through the middle two miles of my Levy Trail 5K intervals this morning. With half-mile jog-walks to start and finish, I completed the loop in 37:39 and went through three miles in 36:34. My splits were 12:27 and 24:07. I did the two interval miles in 23:12, or an average of 11:36.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 45:45, with splits of 15:24, 14:43, and 14:19. I went through three miles in 44:26

Hindman Park Golf Course

Tim Biggs, John, Steve Grace, Ed, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and afternoon. John scored 101 and I 111. I'll guess Tim was a bit over 120, Steve right at 80, maybe under by a stroke or two, and Ed was in the low- to mid-90s. I hand nines of 55 and 56 and used 37 putts. I had 1 par and 3 bogies. It was a terrible but very fun round for me.

Burns Park Loop

I walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:40:47.

Levy Trail 5K intervals/Burns Park Golf Course

I walked and jogged the first and final half miles of the Levy Trail 5K this morning. For intervals over the middle two miles, I alternated three-minute runs with two-minute walks to complete the course in 39:49. I went through three miles in 38:40. My splits were 13:24 and 25:16.
Ed, John, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this afternoon. I scored 95, Ed 97, and John 101. I had nines of 47 and 48 and used 29 putts. I had 6 pars, 4 bogies, 6 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple.

OVERHEARD
"Man, she don't look it. She looks like she's about 20."
—Ed, after he asked how old Erin was

Levy Trail South/River Trail/Pam's Path

Several other Geezers and I walked on the River Trail from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot this morning for 1:24:12.
This evening, I walked Pam's Path in 1:04:01.
Yesterday morning, I walked Levy Trail South in a little over 33 minutes.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Since their use almost invariably jeopardized the vehicle and the lives of everyone on board, why did Starfleet not forbid the use of holodecks on starships?

OVERHEARD
"Was you born that way, or did your mother marry an armadillo?"
—old-west character to Sheriff Wharf on a Star Trek: Next Generation holodeck program

Pam's Path/Hash

I walked Pam's Path at lunchtime today in 1:04:04. It's very warm here. I'm sweating.
This morning, I weighed 177.5 pounds. It was 179 three days ago. It's the first time I have knowingly weighed under 180 since late 2014. I'm wearing a pair of short pants that I bought just before I went to the U.S. Women's Open in 2011 and haven't worn since the summer of 2014.
A new Hasher named Shannon set a run for the Little Rock Hash House Harriers in Burns Park that had a Hunger Games theme. She called it the Thirst Games. She said she came up with the idea on her own. We were out for 1:38:37 but probably covered no more than three miles.

Pam's Path/Levy Trail North

I swear to whatever the fuck diety my readers follow that it is pure coincidence that I walked and jogged Pam's Path this morning, which starts the 17th anniversary of Pam the cat's May 5, 2001 birthday. I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to finish in 56:49, with splits of 14:45, 14:17, 14:06, and 13:41.
This evening, I walked Levy Trail North in 29:54.
By the way, Jo and I feel much better. Jo voluntarily left the front bedroom and I can breathe through my nose for the first time since Wednesday night.

PETE THE GAMBLE GOD'S GET-RICH GOLDEN-BULLET KENTUCKY DERBY SPECIAL
Bet $20 to win on Justify (No. 7), a cold $20 exacta with Justify over Bolt d'Oro (No. 7/No. 11), and a $15 superfecta with Hofburg (No. 9), over Audible (No. 5), over Flameaway (No. 4) and Combatant (No. 20) boxed in the third and fourth positions, for a total wager of $70.
The $20 win bet on Justify should return close to $70. The $20 exacta with Justify over Bolt should return about $450. The superfecta bet (essentially an educated lottery ticket) will return approximately $250,000 if Flameway finishes third and $400,000 if Combatant is third.
Justify should win, fuck the naysayers. Pete believes he has a chance to become a Man 'o War or Secretariat of his era.
Result: Justify won and paid $7.80, or $78.00 for a $20 win ticket. Consequently, my three bets netted $8.00, which is fine. It's nice to come out ahead.

Kentucky Derby past performances:

http://www.brisnet.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Derby18.pdf