Oaklawn Park

 I walked out and back from Oaklawn Park along Central Avenue for a total of 34:13 beginning at about noon today. Then I won a total of $41.00, to go up $114.70 after four trips (I have won, in order, $19, $23, $31.70, and $41. That's crazy), and wrote I believe a nice story for the Martha Washington Stakes (a $100,000 race for three-year old fillies). This was a good day.
Man, Erin, I can't tell you how much I want New England to beat the cow shit out of Seattle tomorrow. I know a Seahawks victory will please a lot of your connections, and I will be genuinely happy for them, but there's this one motherfucker who writes for the paper who is such an ass about Seattle in every sport (but otherwise a perfectly nice guy) that I would love to see no team from there ever win again.

Oaklawn Park/Maple Street Loop

HOT SPRINGS—I profited $31.70 at Oaklawn Park today to go up $73.70 after three trips. Tom had a good day, too. We had tremendous fun, laughing the whole day with Ray and Carrol, though I was disappointed to not see Coach Carnahan.  Soon after I got home, I walked the Maple Street Loop in 30:13.

Levy Trail

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail this morning, starting at about 10 a.m., in 46:53.

SIGN OF THE DAY
attached to the side of a trailer on 47th Street:

SIMPLE SOLUTIONS LAWN CARE
(501) 833-9273
"Simple solutions for lawn care."

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 45:48.

38th Street Loop/Hash

I walked the 38th Street Loop early this afternoon in 31:17, and still can't figure out why they aren't showing golf on network television yet. I would rather get stabbed in the neck than watch a college basketball game before the NCAA Tournament.
Man, I had great fun with the Hash today. I was out for 51:26 from Kanis Park. At least ten people expressed sympathy for the Packers' loss. John Kelly said something similar to your dog-walk story: "So I come back in and the game's in fucking overtime."
Who the Fuck is Misty said that she liked my haircut. I would put the over-under on comments about my haircuts, since I turned twenty, not counting from girlfriends, at six. No, wait. After tonight at seven. And I think I'd take the under.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 31:47.

Levy Loop

I thought I had recorded this earlier. Fuck. I walked the Levy Loop at about lunchtime on Tuesday in somewhere around 30:45.

Levy Loop/Oaklawn Park

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:48, and drove with Tom Zaloudek to Oaklawn Park to watch the Smarty Jones Stakes. I was also there to write the race story for the paper.
All went well, except for Mr. Z. He seemed geared for victory and was pulling away in the home stretch, but very suddenly began to drift severely to his right, almost as if he stumbled. By the time his rider regathered him, he could do no better than third.
A colt named Far Right won. That was good for my wallet, but I really, really hoped for Mr. Z to win. My $10 win ticket on Far Right returned $37.
I was up $23 for the day, and now a total of $42 after two trips. If I keep this up, I should be able to retire at least twenty minutes earlier than I originally expected.

OVERHEARD
"Free hat, my ass. This hat cost me at least three-hundred dollars."
— man holding a blue Oaklawn Park hat the track gave away to all-comers on Monday

Ghetto Cat Loop/Hash

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:57, and can't explain my high energy level in any other way than to assume it was generated by the fifty-year-old fifth grader who did whatever it took to make his motorcycle sound exactly like a nuclear explosion five goddamn feet behind me. That happened maybe a hundred yards up Orange Street Hill, the motherfucker. On Sunday fucking morning. What's with those guys? I mean, fuck, I know I've wasted half my adulthood behaving like a child, but at least I don't make all the fucking noise.
Now I'm warmed up for Hash. Believe it or not, John Krillenberger, on his own, decided to schedule his run for noon so that fans of the Green Bay Packers can get home in time for the NFC championship's 2:05 kickoff. He said that he couldn't care less about all those redheaded Seattle Seafuck fans. Besides, he said he suspects the bulk of them will be disappointed that the Hash did not choose to begin at 3 p.m. Good God. Football indeed. ...I'll say, do you mean the Milwaukee's Best people do not brew a pecan-flavored ale?
Elaine Gimblet and I got lost together way out in the middle of nowhere, not far though from the start at Reservoir Park. We were out for 1:04:53, and, according to Elaine's GPS, covered 26 feet. I didn't know there was growth in Little Rock as thick as what we ran through.
It required a radio for me to follow the first six plays of the game. Now I'm in Levy, and like what I have seen so far. The Packers have six points. The SeaFucks have zero first downs. (that's good and all, but, fuck, I'd still make Seattle the favorite. This will get very hard I believe)
Now it's Green Bay 13, Seattle 0, and I'm still worried. This is what sucks about letting sports dictate your contentment with life. The Packers could be up 212-0 late in the third quarter and I'd still be sitting here in a pool of Levy sweat (I'd way rather live in Seattle, where face it, even if you lose, you say big fucking deal. Your 900-square-foot house is worth $398,999. "Oh well," you say. "What kind of microbrew do we have, honey?" Oregon fans know what I'm talking about. They lose the national championship game and say, "At least we won't have to wake up in Ohio.")
It's 16-0. Fuck. This has become too weird. Green Bay has held Seattle to eleven yards in twenty minutes. I exaggerated with the 212-0 figure. All we need is, heck, maybe eighty more points)
See what I'm talking about. This sucks. This is why I wish I would read Pam's Boy and go what do you fucking know, Green Bay's playing today. I hope they play well. Let me think, somebody I know really likes them.
And, finally, rats.
In the meantime, I am busy writing an advance story for the Smarty Jones Stakes that thus far reads as well to me as anything I have written. Wait until next year, SeaFucks.

BY PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS — Horsemen around the world will watch.

The $150,000 Smarty Jones Stakes for three-year-olds, scheduled for a 4:38 p.m. start at Oaklawn Park today, is among this holiday weekend's most significant preparatory races for the Kentucky Derby, horse racing's pinnacle. The colt Smarty Jones reached prominence at Oaklawn in 2004 and won the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs, a feat significant enough to warrant a race named in his honor.

Nine horses are entered in the Smarty Jones. 

Thoroughbred trainer D. Wayne Lukas made no bones last week that the Kentucky Derby is why he and everyone with whom he deals is in this game. He said that anyone who says anything else is "lying through their teeth." Lukas has trained four Kentucky Derby winners, and 14 winners of Triple Crown races, which include the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness and Belmont Stakes.

The Smarty Jones is on the many intertwined routes to the Derby trail, and Lucas trainee Mr. Z is the 2-1 morning-line favorite. Mr. Z has not won since the first race of his career, a six-furlong sprint at Churchill on June 14 last year, but he raced competitively against stiff company in his following seven races. He has never finished worse than fifth, and has been in the top three in six of his eight starts. None of Mr. Z's results have impressed more than his last, when he finished third by a head in a three-way photo finish with Dortmund and Firing Line at the Los Alamitos Futurity in southern California on Dec. 20. Dortmund won in the 1 1/16th-mile race in a track record one-minute, 40.4 seconds.

No other horse entered has raced more than six times, but Lukas, 79, said his colt needs the work. Earlier he thought he would hold Mr. Z out for Oaklawn's $300,000 Southwest Stakes, scheduled for Feb. 16, but changed his mind after his colt ran a 1:01.1, five-furlong training breeze on Jan. 12, the fastest workout of thirty horses who trained at the distance that morning.

"I was going to wait, but he's so tough, I think he will benefit from racing," Lukas said. "The secret of training race horses, in my opinion, or training any kind of athlete, is to read the athlete. Eight races for him is OK. Eight races for another one might be devastating. You got to play with what you have in front of you. He seems to thrive on it. In fact, he's still running a little bit green. He's still learning."

Jon Court, who has ridden horses from Oaklawn in the last three Kentucky Derbys, is scheduled to ride Mr. Z. He, like Lukas, knows the importance of the Smarty Jones and the role it plays in their pursuit of the Derby. "I don't have to win the Kentucky Derby to be able to say I've had a successful career when I retire, but it is the dream of everyone in this business," Court said. "Just the fact that you've ridden in it is a testimony to your career. Any time you go anywhere in the public, they say, 'Oh, you're a jockey,' and the first question they ask is, 'Have you ever ridden in the Kentucky Derby?' And depending on how you answer that question, you can imagine what the next question is. 'Well, have you ever won the Kentucky Derby?' "

Several other colts will likely receive strong backing from betters, including Hebbronville, trained by Lynn Whiting, with Shaun Bridgmohan the scheduled rider, and Bayered, trained by Steve Asmussen. Both are listed on the morning line at 9-2. Ramon Vazquez has been named to ride Bayered.

"I am very confident aboard this horse," Vazquez said through his agent and Spanish translator Ruben Munoz. "And I know I am in very good hands with the caretaker, with [Asmussen.]"

Asmussen has trained two Arkansas Derby winners, the final prep race at Oaklawn for the Kentucky Derby, and two winners of the Preakness Stakes.

Bayered has won three of five career starts, including the $255,000 Springboard Mile at Oklahoma City's Remington Park on Dec. 14, his last race and Vazquez's first experience aboard him.

"I had to use him a little bit earlier than I wanted because a horse got inside of me, but [Bayered] never gave up," said Vazquez, who rode Bayered to victory by a head over Shotgun Kowboy in 1:37.1.

Hebbronville finished second by 3/4 lengths to Blofeld in the Grade II, six-furlong Belmont Futurity Stakes on Oct. 5. Hebbronville's only previous attempt at a race around two turns was scuttled early. He began the Grade II Nashua Stakes at Aqueduct Racetrack, on Nov. 2, in a jumble with a nearby starter. Somehow his right front leg was clipped and lacerated, causing discomfort adequate enough to alert rider Jose Lezcano.

"He felt uncomfortable to the rider, and the rider was just taking care of the horse," Whiting said. "Afterward he never showed us an infirmity. He's had regular training patterns since and done everything we've asked him to do. I saw no compromise in him from a standpoint of soundness.

"In that instance, you're gratified the rider was intent on taking care of him and not just gone hell-bent down the race track."

Shaun Bridgmohan is scheduled to ride Hebbronville in the Smarty Jones.

Far Right, 6-1 on the morning line, last raced in the $1 million Delta Downs Jackpot in Vinton, Louisiana, where he finished third behind winner Ocho Ocho Ocho, and Mr. Z. Trouble at the start, and more caused by a stumble late on the final turn, eliminated his chance for victory. He appeared ready to contend, and may today.

Most hope for at least relative success, or any excuse to continue their pursuit for an entry at Churchill Downs on May 2.

"Every rider dreams of riding in the Derby, and that would be the biggest accomplishment I could have," said Vazquez, who has not had a Derby Mount. "Bayered gives me this opportunity. He's still learning, but he's a good horse."

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 32:36.

Levy Trail

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 48:39, and then spent thirty minutes standing on Tom's driveway, talking horse racing with Bobby Vint.

OVERHEARD
"My body is on fire."
— Charles Warner

Ghetto Cat Loop/Oaklawn

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning* in 33:07 to get the juice flowing for my trip to Oaklawn Park with Tom Zaloudek. It's opening day there, and I won exactly $19, or a $28 return on $9 wagered. My return to the Oaklawn press box has to rank among my lifetime's nice events, in the Top 20 at least. The reception I received was encouraging and supportive throughout.

*I'm sure some will accuse me of lying, but it began to snow moments after I arrived back home. At 8:11 a.m., it's coming down pretty good**

**Nope, I heard at least a half dozen people say something like goddamn, did you see that fucking snow this morning? The afternoon was filled with sunshine. It got up to 48°F, I think, or nearly balmy

Maple Street Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop at lunchtime today in 31:55. Last night, starting at about 6:30, I walked the Maple Street Loop in 31:28.

Park Hill Loop (aborted)

I cut the Park Hill Loop short by walking the final two miles on the Ridge Road Loop this morning. So, I went four miles in 1:02:11.
The more attractive NFL quarterfinal games come tomorrow, when Green Bay hosts Dallas and Indianapolis goes to Denver. However, Baltimore looked very good last week (for three and a half quarters), and top seeds have struggled over the past few seasons, so it might give New England a fight in the today's early game. Green Bay fans know that their best chance of giving a damn about the Super Bowl will come from a huge upset this evening when Seattle hosts Carolina, the playoff's most significant underdog. Carolina quarterback Cam Newton is easy to dislike,* but he occasionally plays very well. If Carolina wins, and Green Bay wins tomorrow, the Packers will host the NFC Championship game next week. They are 9-1 all-time in home-field title games.
*Cam Newton sounded like a very thoughtful fellow in a radio interview I heard this morning. OK, so he's a great guy, easy to cheer for tonight. However, if Carolina wins, he'll be a dickhead again next week at Lambeau

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person to say, "Hey ref, you're missing a good game."

Burns Park Loop

Someone said it was 11°F. All I know for sure is that my face hurt for the first half of the five-mile Burns Park Loop, the green loop. Maybe a half mile into it I had to remove my gloves and mittens to tie a shoe and my finger tips consequently stung for half an hour. I wish I lived in Panama. Half a dozen Geezers showed up, but I mostly walked with Sandy Venable. We finished in 1:44:06.

Cooks Landing

The Geezers and I walked 6.5 miles on the River Trail this morning in 1:53:50. It was cold, but not at all windy. I fell asleep on my couch about five minutes after I returned home and slept for three hours.

Orange Street Loop

At 1:22 p.m., it's 32°F in Levy, and that's about as warm as it's been since the Vratil family drove away. I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop early this afternoon in 41:26, with splits of 14:05, 13:40, and 13:41.

DO WHAT?
"I've kept my commitment as a board member to work close with the administration and make sure I ask the pertinent information that I got to be able to communicate to someone else," Curry said.
— Little Rock School Board member Dianne Curry attempting to explain her effort for the board, which her boss, the Little Rock school district superintendent, calls micromanagement

Thursday through Sunday

I am not sure about any of this, but I think that on Thursday I covered a total of four miles walking dogs. Friday I did dick, except watch football and drink beer. No. Wait. We might have done a two-mile dog walk. Maybe. On Saturday I covered about about three miles with Chris Vratil as we waited for Erin Vratil to finish the Athens-Big Fork Fun Run way the fuck out past Norman. Sunday I did dick.