Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 33:49.

Burns Park Championship Course

I hate the fucking Seattle Seahawks.
Ed Pennington and I played the Burns Park Championship Course today. Ed scored 96 and I scored 99, with nines of 46 and 53.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 35:07.
The Green Bay Packers returned from early deficits of 14-0 and 17-3 to defeat the Detroit Lions 23-20. Now they need the Seattle Seahawks to defeat the San Francisco 49ers tonight, and they will get a two-game home-field route to the Super Bowl. Whatever the result tonight, they get a bye next week and at least one home-field playoff game.
If, by chance, any fans of sports teams in Seattle read this post today, would you please explain to me how you cheer for the Seahawks without gagging a little bit.

Levy Trail North/Burns Park Tournament Course

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 33:52.
Ed and I began a round of the Burns Park Tournament Course at 10  a.m. Ed scored 83 and I scored 94, with nines of 45 and 49. I had 3 pars, 8 bogies, 6 doubles, 1 quadruple, and used 35 putts.
So long as the Packers beat to the Detroit Lions in their noon game Sunday, I promise to cheer for the Seattle Seahawks to beat the San Francisco 49ers on Sunday Night Football. That combination would give Green Bay home-field throughout the NFC playoffs.

River Trail

After thirty minutes of putting and chipping this morning, I walked for 48:19 on the River Trail close to Burns Park Golf Course in North Little Rock.

Levy Trail 5K

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 45:18. I went through three miles in 43:52.

OVERHEARD
"I never understood wind. I know windmills very much, I have studied it better than anybody. I know it is very expensive. They are made in China and Germany mostly, very few made here, almost none, but they are manufactured, tremendous—if you are into this — tremendous fumes and gases are spewing into the atmosphere. You know we have a world, right? So the world is tiny compared to the universe. So tremendous, tremendous amount of fumes and everything. You talk about the carbon footprint, fumes are spewing into the air, right spewing, whether it is China or Germany, is going into the air."
—President Trump, who proved he really, really needs speechwriters in this address to Turning Point USA

Hash

I walked and jogged for about 45 minutes on Sunday's run with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 33:03.

OVERHEARD
"Me too."
—God on Family Guy, trapped with Peter on an elevator, after Peter said, "I've always dreamed of being stuck on an elevator with Tom Brady."

The Greens at North Hills/Eagle Hills Country Club

Marion Waugh and I played The Greens at North Hills, formerly North Hills Country Club, in Sherwood yesterday. I scored 101 and Marion 108. It was the first time I played that course since c. 1988. It's hard.
This morning, when it was colder than two motherfuckers, Marion and I played Eagle Hills Country Club. I scored 103 and Marion 107.

Joe on Marion's lap. They got along pretty well.

"Have you considered buying a Peloton?"

Burns Park Championship Course

Ed and I played the Burns Park Championship Course this morning and afternoon. Ed scored 90 and I scored 91, with nines of 46 and 45. I had 1 birdie, 1 par, 11 bogies, 5 doubles, and used 37 putts.

UCA

CONWAY—I walked for 48:12 across and around the UCA campus an hour or so before UCA began its 24-14 loss to Illinois State in the second round of the NCAA Division I Football Championship Subdivision Playoffs at Estes Stadium this afternoon and early evening.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Can anyone believe there are men who want to order tubes of Shave Butter from Dollar Shave Club? Shave butter.

Burns Park Championship Course

It should be obvious I have joined the Burns Park golf courses. I signed up for a year of unlimited play last Monday for $400. As close as it is to my house (exactly three miles), I can imagine going out there for at least nine holes several times a week.
Late this afternoon, I played the front nine of the par-71 Championship Course (the much longer one on the east side, or the same side as the dog pound). I scored 45, with 4 pars, 1 bogie, and 4 doubles. I used 19 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Who in the world would choose fried chicken and waffles over fried chicken with mashed potatoes and cream gravy?

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Tournament Course/DFL

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:21.
In the final game of the Democrat Football League regular season, the Green Bay Packers defeated the Schwarbears (Jeff Krupsaw's team formerly known as Krup's Kids), 124.17-78.81. The Packers finished at 7-6 and in eighth place. We were actually in a five-way tie for fifth but failed to make the playoffs because of too few totals points.
John, Ed, and I played the Burns Park par-70 Tournament Course this afternoon. John scored 88, Ed 89, and I scored 96, with nines of 48 and 48. I used 41 putts, as many as I have since I started keeping count. I had seven three-putts.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 35:19.
Golf experts agree that Jordan Spieth's only chance to return to his form of 2015 is to no longer choke down so much on his irons.

UCA/Burns Park Tournament Course/Joe report

CONWAY—I walked around and across the UCA campus at lunchtime today for 53:22.
Early this afternoon, I played the front nine of the Burns Park Tournament Course in 45. I played the first four holes in eight-over but the last five in two-over. I had 3 pars, 2 bogies, 4 doubles, and used 16 putts.
Typical of every cat I have known, Joe showed up somewhere in the neighborhood of six hours after I truly began to worry about him. He seems happy.

Levy Trail South/DFL/Joe report

I walked Levy Trail South early this afternoon in 31:13.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Ratpackers, 103.96-97.77, to advance from tenth to eighth place. We have won three consecutive games but, with one game left in the regular season, remain a longshot to make the playoffs. In order to make it, we will need the seventh-place Last Chance FUs and the sixth-place Cajun Navy to lose. We will need to win against Jeff Krupsaw's Schwarbears and score 17.71 points more than Cajun Navy. Furthermore, we will need the Get Down Boys to either lose or not outscores us by more than 0.62 points.
It's right at 4 p.m. and I haven't seen Joe since a little past midnight, or roughly sixteen hours ago. This is, I think, the longest he has been out of my sight, not counting a recent trip to Kansas City. You'd think that after eighteen years of uninterrupted cat cohabitation I wouldn't be so much as curious about Joe's whereabouts.

Levy Trail North/Levy Trail Loop

I walked Levy Trail North on Sunday morning in 31:57.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:16.

Joe T. Robinson/Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked through a cold, driving mist for 38:07 before Joe T. Robinson's 36-0 victory over Central Arkansas Christian at Robinson High on Friday night.
At lunchtime today, I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 34:17.

Levy Trail

I walked north to Kierre Street and back on the Levy Trail this morning in 1:07:24. Based on an average of my first- and last-mile splits of 16:17 and 16:07, this course covers approximately 4.16 miles.

38th Street Loop

I walked 38th Street Loop this morning in 33:25.

River Trail/First Tee

Ron and Elaine Gimblet and I started south from Cooks Landing and walked out and back on the River Trail for 1:08:39 this morning. The rest of the Geezers walked further.
Ed Pennington and I played one lap of First Tee this afternoon. Ed scored 42. I scored 47 and used 20 putts.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 30:36. There was an impossibly cute squirrel-size kitten on the trail about a hundred yards north of 38th Street. Too bad he/she was most likely feral. All I could get once it ran from the trail was about half its face and one eye peering back from behind a tree. I'm kind of in the market for a step-sibling for Joe.
This evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:01. I'm in about a half an hour before the Chiefs play the LA Chargers in a game that will decide my DFL weekend.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in, no kidding, 29:29.

OVERHEARD
"Yes, we do. You oughta come check him out."
—pleasant-looking fifty-year-old man in a gray suit walking with his wife from the Levy Church of Christ across the Levy Trail to the church parking lot as the congregation let out at twenty minutes after eleven. You know, with plenty of time to make noon NFL kickoffs. The man's comment was a response to Pete's, "Y'all must have a football-friendly pastor."
It was, no kidding, the closest thing in Pete's long experience with Churches of Christ members to have heard a suggestion from any of them that he consider attending one of their services*
*Pete has long wondered if this was due to a cultural slant of the institution or the observational skills of its members

Burns Park Championship Course/Irby Hall Loop

CONWAY—I added the Irby Hall Loop for UCA football days when I feel well and have a little more time. It's no more than the Bear Loop with several blocks tacked on. I walked it in 55:17 this afternoon.
Ed, John, and I played Burns Park Championship Course on Friday afternoon. Ed scored 96. I scored 99 and John 109. I had nines of 52 and 47 and used 34 putts.

Levy Trail

Just as I walked in, I saw one of the city trucks about a block away that pick up refuse. I'm fascinated to see how its occupants respond to two trees from my backyard that are chopped and piled up by the street in front of my house.
Well, they drove right past. I believe, or at least hope, this means they will send another truck. I have witnessed them do that with other such enormous piles in front of neighbors' houses over my tenure here. We'll see.*
The paved portion of the Levy Trail now extends an entire extra mile toward Camp Robinson, a bit beyond two miles north from my house and approximately 2.75 miles from its southern starting point near Spectators.
I walked from here to the turnaround on Kierre Street and back late this morning in 1:10:16.
*A truck returned at about noon-thirty. Fifteen minutes later, the remains of two seventeen-year-old Bradford Pear trees were gone

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this afternoon in 34:55. It's a toasty 35°F in Levy at 5:25 p.m.

Levy Trail South/DFL

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:53. When I walked back into my house, at about 7:50 a.m.,  the temperature in Levy was 20°F, with a RealFeel® of 7.
The DFL Green Bay Packers stopped their losing streak at five games with a 104.64-92.61 victory over the Trojan Men. They are at 4-6 and in tenth place in the fourteen-team league. My team is not yet mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, but I would put its chances at roughly 75-1 against.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How does someone drive to a Hobby Lobby to buy a clock and forget what they had driven to the Hobby Lobby to buy?

OVERHEARD
"I just remembered what I needed: a clock."
—woman to her daughter at Hobby Lobby, which seemed to Rockmundo roughly equivalent to someone walking around in Lowe's only to stop and say, "I just remembered what I needed: a garbage disposal."

Jewel E. Moore Nature Reserve Bear Loop

CONWAY—I walked the Jewel E. Moore Nature Reserve Bear Loop early this afternoon in 59:01. By god, the course I walked today will now and for all time remain the Bear Loop. Its sponsorship rights are subject to change.

Joe T. Robinson High/Levy Trail South

I walked for 36:03 around the rather large Joe T. Robinson High parking lot and school grounds last night before I watched Robinson defeat Benton Harmony Grove, 35-6.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:36.

First Tee Par-3/DFL

I played one lap of the First Tee Par-3 course this afternoon, using one ball from the back and another from the front. As an example of how peculiar my game is at the moment, I scored 34 from the front and 32 from the back. I had a total of 9 pars, 7 bogies, 1 double, 1 triple, and used 33 putts.
The DFL Green Bay Packers lost their goddamn fifth-consecutive game. With our 103.21-86.12 loss to Walt Webb's Fat Whores, we fell to 3-6 with virtually no chance to make the playoffs.
By the way, my golf game and DFL franchise are similar. Both are close to good but not quite there.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:54.

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Tournament Course/DFL

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Levy Trail South this morning in 29:48. It was 33°F in Levy when I walked in at about 8:45 a.m.
Ed Pennington and I played the par-70 Burns Park Tournament Course (anyone who knows who Mr. EverydayRunning is knows which course I'm talking about) this afternoon. I scored 86 and Ed 87. It was the fifth time I have broken 90 on a course with a par of 70 or higher. I had nines of 42 and 44, used 32 putts, and had 7 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple.
It has been, I believe, eight years since I last played that course. I don't remember enjoying it as much (no, I don't mean having more fun on it, rather appreciating the somewhat tricky layout. Obviously, few events during a round on that course will be more than to have watched the abject joy of a little four-eyed Chinese-looking woman bang a shot off my golf bag to subsequently outscore her boyfriend and me for the first time).
The DFL Green Bay Packers lost to the Complete Sellouts last week, 109.25-88.75, to drop to 3-5 and 10th in our 14-team league. We are very close to toast. Our four-game losing streak might be the longest in DFL Packers history.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K early this afternoon in 49:20 and went through three miles in 47:49. It rained like two motherfuckers today.

I-49

SOMECOUNTRYFUCKTOWN, Mo.—I did not plan to exercise Sunday, but fifty miles south of Kansas City, Kan, on U.S. I-49, my Crown Vic ran out of gas at about 10 a.m. I walked and jogged for a total of 37:18 to a long-closed gas station and then back to my car, maybe half a mile south of exit 153. Somewhere around eight minutes from my car, I remembered something a North Little Rock policeman told me a year or so ago about the nearly infinite attributes of 911. I dialed it, right there walking south on a busy freeway, and within twenty minutes, a Missouri state trooper named Carl Smith handed me a one-gallon plastic gas can, drove me to a station about four miles away, and then back to my car. He was born and raised in St. Louis, so we talked Cardinals baseball right up until I was on my way again. I got to Rodney and Mary Gordon's house with about a half-hour to spare.
The Packers beat the Chiefs, 31-24.

UCA

CONWAY—I walked for 42:20 around the UCA campus before the UCA Bears beat the Sam Houston State Bearkats, 29-25, a game in which UCA trailed 22-7 early in the fourth quarter.
I plan to get up about five hours from now to drive to Overland Park, Kansas. From there, Rodney Up the Ass and I will drive to Arrowhead Stadium to eat food off of a grill the size of El Paso, Texas, for four hours of tailgating. Then we'll watch the Packers walk all over the fucking Kansas City Chefs.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 34:35.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Do the new multiple tailgate options on pickup trucks matter to anyone?

River Trail

I walked on the River Trail with several other Geezers this morning for 1:18:50.

Levy Trail South Loop

I walked the Levy Trail South Loop at lunchtime today in 32:32.
The DFL Green Bay Packers got hammered, 121.95-79.83, by the Cavemen. We dropped to 3-4 and into ninth place in our 14-team league. We're beat to pieces and in danger of not making the playoffs.
The NFL Packers beat the Oakland Raiders, 42-24. They are 6-1 and are likely the best team in the NFC.

Hash

I walked and jogged for right at an hour and a half with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers from Kanis Park yesterday afternoon.

Levy Trail South/First Tee/DFL

I played nine holes at First Tee this afternoon with Ed, John, and a guy we knew from War Memorial named Chris, who scored 45. Ed scored 47. I scored 48 and John 50. I used 14 putts and had 3 pars, 2 bogies, 3 doubles, and one quadruple.
This morning, I walked Levy Trail South in 32:31. I planned to walk Levy Trail North, but halfway to 47th Street, a skinhead-looking 25-year-old scrawny, filthy inbred fellow walked onto the trail in front of me from a fast-food parking lot. He had, no shit, an axe in his right hand. Even though he was walking in the same direction as I was, I thought it made sense to turn back south at 47th.
Man, my DFL Packers have never been quite this battered so early in a season. I have two key players who are idle due to injuries and a couple of others limping around, borderline useless. We lost last week to the Cajun Navy, owned by some fucking paper nerd I have never met, 133.07-89.90, to drop to 3-3 and into seventh place. My NFL Packers are doing much better. After a 23-22 Monday Night victory over the Detroit Lions, they're at 5-1.

Levy Trail South Loop

I walked a new Levy Trail-Levy streets hybrid that I will call the Levy Trail South Loop. I think the version I walked this evening is a bit short of if two miles. I'll need to get a Google Maps assist. After watching North Little Rock sophomore McKenzie Lee win the Arkansas State Girls Overall Golf Championship at Pleasant Valley Country Club this afternoon, I walked the loop in 33:08.

Rebsamen short nine

Ed and I played two loops of the par-32 Rebsamen short nine this afternoon. I scored 76 and Ed 84. It was the first time Ed had played in at least a couple of weeks.

Levy Trail South

  I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 34:20. As I walked, I wondered how many times in my life I have missed the start of NFL games with a noon Sunday start of my own volition since September 1967. I knew when I started I would get in about when I did, in this case at12:15 p.m.

  I'm putting the over-under number at twenty-three.

QUESTION OF THE DAY

Does anyone other than I think former SMU and current Arkansas coach Chad Morris looks somewhat like Morris the Cat?

Jewel Moore Nature Reserve

CONWAY—I walked through the Jewel Moore Nature Reserve on the southern edge of the Central Arkansas campus on Saturday afternoon before the UCA Bears football team beat the McNeese State Cowboys, 40-31. The entire loop, including a lap around the campus and a tour of the tailgating stretch, took 42:22.

Levy Trail North

  I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 34:12.
 We're having a weird-weather day. The high yesterday was 86°F. Our high today was 71 at midnight. A front ran through late last night and this morning, and the temperature has since dropped. At about 10 a.m., it's overcast and 54. Weather.com predicts a low tonight of 38. I walked in a sweater, and my hands got a bit cold.
 I remember back in the early 1990s telling Jenny Devine and Jen Reynolds how beautiful sunsets were from the Quigley Stadium press box at Little Rock Central High. Back in those days, I watched a lot of them. For the first time in years and years, I saw another tonight, and I was reminded they must surely remain somewhere in the neighborhood of the best on earth.

Levy Trail 5K/Rebsamen Golf Course/DFL

  I walked the Levy Trail 5K at lunchtime today in 49:12, during which I devised a plan to play nine holes and make it back to Levy in time to watch Game 5 of both National League divisional series (St. Louis at Atlanta and Washington at Los Angeles).

  If there were heavens, mine would include days like this, except Hazel would come over to clean my house while I golfed, and Ellen Page would drop by with a Kroger bag filled with chuck eye steaks, russet potatoes, and fresh asparagus in one hand and an eighteen-pack of Milwaukee's Best in the other (her choice; she, no fucking kidding, did not know my beer preference).

"Rock, I hope you don't mind Milwaukee's Best. I mean, I like it a lot, but I'd be happy to go back and get something else. Truly, just let me know."

  I played the front nine of Rebsamen Golf Course with two mid-sixty-something friends named Paul and Harold, the latter of whom was a junior transfer to the University of Wyoming during my sophomore semester there, the fall of 1978. He became the first fellow Wyoming alum I have ever met. Those two men each scored 39 and I scored 47, with 2 pars, 5 bogies, 1 double, and 1 triple. I used 16 putts.

  The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers lost to The 546 Posse, 106.38-100.61, to drop to 3-2 and into fourth place in the fourteen-team league standings. The NFL Packers beat the Dallas Cowfucks, 34-24, and are currently 4-1.

Levy Trail South

Man, it's almost perfect outside. Cool, dry, the works. I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:55.

Rebsamen Golf Course

John and I played Rebsamen Park Golf Course this dry, coolish fall afternoon. I scored 101 and John 102. I had nines of 50 and 51. I had 2 pars, 5 bogies, 9 doubles, 2 triples, and used 36 putts. My game is somewhat close to good.

Rebsamen Golf Course

John and I played Rebsamen Golf Course on Friday morning. John scored 93 and I scored 103, with nines of 52 and 51. I played the first five holes of the front nine in four-over-par. I played the next three in eleven-over, typical of several short stretches my last rounds. I used 34 putts.

OVERHEARD
"You have to quit fucking up."
—North Little Rock football coach Jamie Mitchell to one of his players midway through the third quarter of his team's 17-7 victory over Conway at North Little Rock Stadium on Friday night

Levy Trail Loop/Rebsamen Golf Course/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this morning in 35:05.
Yesterday, Ed, John, and I played Rebsamen Golf Course. Ed scored 84, John 101, and I scored 105, with nines of 58 and 47. The front nine was the worst I have played in nearly two years. It was kind of weird. I used 34 putts, with 21 on the front nine.
By the way, the Democrat Football League Packers defeated The Kruptilians (owned by Daniel Krupsaw) last weekend, 115.15-90.93. We are now 3-1 and in third place in the fourteen-team league.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at about 10 a.m today in 36:05. My goal was to finish with clothes dry enough to go straight to Walmart, and it was met.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next group of people involved in the production of local or regional television commercials in which pets owned by and/or children related to the owners play any role whatsoever*

Central Arkansas Christian/Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North yesterday morning in 33:41.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Maple Street Loop in 31:03. Finally, late in September, it is no longer hotter than two motherfuckers in Levy every goddamn day. Truly, I agree with Greta Thunberg's message the same as I did with the Comedy Channel fellow's take on whatever he fussed about last July. It's just, fuck, is that what we've become, a nation that relies on children, comedians, and reality-TV stars to direct us?

"Why can't adults believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, and that people will agree to quit burning fossil fuel before it's all the fuck gone?" 

On the other hand, even if we have, I remain confident we'll remain fine in general.

Rebsamen Golf Course

John Czarnecki and I played Rebsamen Golf Course this morning and afternoon. I scored 92 and John 96. I had nines of 45 and 47, with 6 pars, 7 bogies, 2 doubles, and 3 triples. I used 32 putts.

Levy Trail South/golf practice

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:41. It was nearly out and definitely overcast and damp.
By late afternoon, it was sunny, so I drove over to Rebsamen Park Golf Course and played a random ten holes, as Nos. 10, 11, 14-18, 1, 2, and 9. I had 2 pars, 6 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple, or close to spectacular for the first day of golf in exactly three weeks. I hope I play that well in the morning.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
Considering all the potential, lucrative by-products, even with the obvious risks involved, why don't more parents encourage their children to become political activists?

Levy Trail South/DFL

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:08.
The DFL Green Bay Packers lost to The Get Down Boys, 126.53-99.19, and fell to 2-1. The good news is that our fifth-round draft pick Daniel Jones, a rookie for the New York Giants, made his NFL debut Sunday as Eli Manning's replacement, and it was spectacular. He will play his first game for the DFL Packers next weekend when he will replace Aaron Rodgers, whose fantasy football relevance is practically done. Jones outscored Rogers this weekend, 46.20-19.05.

"I'm giving it my best, motherfucker. You fantasy football pricks can drop dead."

Rodgers, on the other hand, is playing in favor of his team's defense, its new strength, which Bart Starr did the same throughout his Hall of Fame career. Despite Rodgers' lackluster statistical output, the NFL Green Bay Packers beat the Denver Broncos, 27-16. Consequently, the slightly more important Packers, at least to me, are 3-0.

War Memorial Stadium

I walked out and back, with a bit longer return trip, from War Memorial Stadium to the defunct golf course, where I hit full swings with a gap wedge for about half an hour. Those were my first swings of any sort since Ed and I last played seventeen days ago.
Now I'm back at the stadium to watch Little Rock Parkview host Rogers.
By the way, Parkview defeated Rogers by a score of 84-40, which ties this game with the second-highest scoring I have eyewitnessed. Last season I watched Little Rock Christian defeat Maumelle, 87-68. Back in, I believe, 2015, I saw Central Arkansas Christian beat someone, 66-58.
Later that same season, on the same field in torrential rainfall in the playoffs, CAC tied Pea Ridge in regulation, 0-0. The Christians lost in overtime, 3-0. That was the night I perhaps became the first person to have ever watched two 0-0 regulation ties in their lifetime, to beat a horse now four years dead. Way back in 1977, as a freshman at Wyoming, I watched Wyoming tie Air Force, 0-0. There have since been two college games tied at 0-0. I have since asked dozens of coaches who have told me they have never seen a 0-0 high school game, probably because there hasn't been one in years and years. I know I have never heard tell of one.
The last NFL game to end 0-0 was played between the New York Giants and Detroit Lions in 1943. It is not difficult for me to imagine no one else alive has seen more than one or anyone else alive would give a fuck one way or the other. It's just kind of cool for me to think—borderline believe—I'm the only one.

Levy Trail North/DFL

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 36:00. My left foot hurts, almost as if someone stomped on it near the toes. It has hurt since yesterday morning.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Carpetbaggers, 106.07-55.45 and are 2-0 and in second place our fourteen-team league. The NFL Packers defeated Minnesota, 21-16, to begin their season 2-0.

UCA/Levy Trail South

I walked for a little over thirty-eight minutes around the UCA campus Saturday before the UCA Bears beat the Abilene Christian Wildcats, 31-30.
This morning, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:39.

Levy Trail South/DFL

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:10.
By the way, the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers defeated the Sherwood Shigellas, 141.92-101.32, to begin the 2019 season at 1-0 last weekend. The NFL Packers defeated the Chicago Bears, 10-3.

Maple Street Loop

I walked Maple Street Loop this evening in 33:48. We had a big storm here Monday night that blew down one of my backyard Bradford Pears. John Czarnecki and I spent three hours cutting that motherfucker up and pulling it off my house. It took a bizarre quirk of good luck for it not to have damaged any part of the homestead. I will spend the next couple of weeks dragging wood from my backyard to the street.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 34:10.

Levy Trail South/Joe report

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:57.
Joe had his first birthday three days ago, and I'm pleased to report that his tornadic traits are on the wane. It's been several weeks since he last climbed into one of our living room bookcases and thrown books all over the fucking place. He rarely wakes me much before seven a.m. I could go on and on, but other than his tendency to tear toilet paper rolls to shreds, he's OK. There's a pretty good chance I will not return him to the Little Rock Animal Village.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Does it seem to anyone else that Serena Williams played better tennis when she was not built like Oprah Winfrey?

Tolliver's Body Shop

I took the long way on a walk to Tolliver's Body Shop on Friday afternoon. It took me 37:42 to get to my Crown Vic, now painted and ready to go.

Levy Trail

I walked about two miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 36:26.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next motherfucker who says anything negative about how much any U.S. president golfs. The brainwashed conservatives wouldn't get off President Obama about golf, and now the brainwashed liberals won't get off President Trump about it. We should encourage our presidents to golf, to play a game that is good for them in every way. Doesn't anyone remember this unfair criticism of our last president? Besides, with this new fuck, what's the point?

Rebsamen Park Golf Course

Ed and played the front nine at Rebsamen Park Golf Course on Tuesday morning. Ed scored 46 and I scored 50, with 2 pars, 3 bogies, 2 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 17 putts and was so disappointed that I immediately declared I would take two weeks off, a game-improvement technique that has rarely failed to help in my thirty-three years, four months of golf. I will take no full swings but will chip, pitch, and putt quite a bit, I hope.

Hash

I walked for about an hour on a run with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers yesterday afternoon. We went from a house near Dickey-Stephens Park through downtown North Little Rock, across a bridge to the Clinton Libary, back through downtown Little Rock, and across another bridge back to the house and the swimming pool.

Rebsamen Park Golf Course

Ed and I played Rebsamen Park Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 85 and I scored 94, with nines of 49 and 45. I used 36 putts.
We heard bad news on the senior-pass front. To this point, they have replaced War Memorial and Hindman with both of the Rebsamen courses and First Tee. When our cards run out, they will only include First Tee and the short-nine at Rebsamen. So, two nine-hole courses. My card runs out in December, when I will buy the $400 annual pass to the two courses at Burns Park. I hope Ed and John do, too. I've been so lucky to have them as golf partners over the last three years.

OVERHEARD
"One of the worst things you can have is a dark landfall," CNN meteorologist Chad Myers said. "You hear things moving, you don't know where they came from. You don't how big that thing was that just crashed."
—Do what? Floridians should be particularly troubled by a hurricane hitting at night because they won't know where the thing came from or how big the thing was?

UCA/First Tee

CONWAY—I walked for 35:14 around the UCA campus Monday before my first of eleven fucking Bear Backers luncheons.
This morning, I played First Tee with John and Ed.
Ed scored 88. I scored 94, and John 95. I used 36 putts.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 35:15.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:50. It's overcast and almost cool in Levy. I didn't mention this yesterday, but the heat here broke the night before last. We were all comfortable as we golfed yesterday.

First Tee

John, Ed, and I played one lap of First Tee this morning. Ed scored 40, I scored 44, and John 46. I had 4 pars, 2 bogies, 3 doubles, and used 17 putts.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this evening in 34:42 as a warmup for a full night of NFL football watching. The next five nights will feature, for me (unless someone nearly freakishly cute moves into dead Tom's house), my final analysis for the Democrat Football Leauge draft set for noon next Tuesday. Most teams play their projected starters through at least the first half of these Week 3 preseason games. I will watch every play, a tradition made easy over the past few seasons by nfl.com and enhanced by the Roku device I bought two falls ago.
As I watch, I will sit in my enormously comfortable, disintegrating recliner, and enjoy the aroma of slow-cooked ribs drifting in from my kitchen. I accidentally watched a rib video on utube a few days ago, so I'm going with a new dry rub to which I very hesitantly added a bit of brown sugar. Also, as recommended by the video, I peeled off the membrane and sliced the wrack into individual ribs before I put them in the oven, both for the first time. I hope to taste the result in a couple of hours or so. Of course, they smell like heaven.
I checked the internet today to see that indeed those big, ridiculous, Harry Caray-style women's sunglasses are not high on any search for women's sunglasses for sale. I do, however, frequently see them on women in the greater Little Rock metropolitan area and in photographs on Facebook. Sometimes it takes me a while to notice those sorts of things. For instance, it was years before I figured out that those one-size-fits-all truck-stop hats had become a cool thing for pretty women to wear. Please forgive my ignorance. Nevertheless, all those women from five years ago are gonna get fucking laughed at along with the millions of big-beard boys.

Tolliver's Body Shop

I walked from Orange Street to Tolliver's Body Shop and back a little past lunchtime today in 46:28, with about a ten-minute, air-conditioned interval as Mr. Tolliver explained to me when the fuck my Crown Vic will have its paintwork done (he promised I would have it no later than a week from Frida, which will make five weeks and two days since I dropped it off).

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Over the course of their 230 years in office, did the previous forty-four U.S. presidents combined use the word "nasty" in public as often as President Trump has since he was inaugurated two years and seven months ago?

OVERHEARD
"GET OUT OF MY YARD! GET OUT OF MY YARD! GET OUT OF MY YARD YOU GODAMN MOTHERFUCER!"
—Tom Zarlingo from his front porch, across the street and three houses north of Pete's house on Orange Street, in a last-ditch effort to qualify for admission to the University of Michigan on the grounds of cultural diversity. He somehow believes its definition of such is subject to the literal interpretation

Levy Trail

I walked on the Levy Trail at lunchtime today, primarily in the shade, for 34:42.
Someone on our Hash Facebook page asked about current fashion trends that our grandkids would laugh at us about. I wrote, "For women, huge sunglasses. For men, beards the size of Burns Park." And by the way, that was before I realized Heidi's husband has a beard the size of Burns Park.

First Tee

Ed and I played First Tee this morning. Ed scored 42, and I scored 45, with 4 pars, 2 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 17 putts.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:28.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
If the Democrats can't make hay from today's President Trump-suggested Omar/Talib ban from Isreal—perhaps the most un-American-like behavior ever recommended by a U.S. President (or anyone else, for that matter)—then what's left for those motherfuckers?

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 34:26.

Cooks Landing

Several other Geezers and I walked from Cooks Landing this morning. We were out for 1:45:14.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
When his presidency ends, will Republicans admit they were embarrassed for however many days President Trump was in office?

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 35:09. Ed and I plan to play Rebsamen Park Golf Course today. We have a tee time set for 9:10 a.m., a little over an hour from now. I hope to break ninety.
Heck, I was happy to break a hundred. Ed scored 90 and I scored 96, with nines of 45 and 47. I used 35 putts and had 3 pars, 7 bogies, 7 doubles, and 1 triple.

Levy Trail North/War Memorial Golf Course/Hash

I walked Levy Trail North in a little under thirty-four minutes and played nine holes at War Memorial Golf Course this morning before NBC began its coverage of the Women's British Open. I was the only golfer on the course but was joined by a young woman, her gorgeous, faster-than-two-motherfuckers dog, and a family of four on mountain bikes.
Morgan Pressel is on a bit of a run. I won't forget my first impression of her in early June 2005. She was right in the mix on the final day of the U.S. Women's Open. B.J. and I agreed she was kind of hot. It was early on the same day we had a Hash run from the deck of a house in Lakewood, one after which Kathy Bemberg served tacos from a Crockpot and during which a 14-year-old, overweight lesbian followed us throughout on a minibike.
I believe I went about three miles in a little over an hour on a run of the Little Rock Hash House Harriers from a neighborhood somewhat close to Tom Zaloudek's house.
I ran 600 calorie deficits yesterday and today.

River Trail

A handful of other Geezers and I walked this morning from the Clinton Presidential Library. I walked with the Geezers for about forty-five minutes and then alone for almost another hour. I was out for 1:42:30.

Later today, I plan to play War Memorial Golf Course, closed as that motherfucker is. It turns out, they're still mowing it and Hindman Park. Yesterday, I played a loop that included Holes 6-12, and it made for great practice. There were two other men out there. Two days ago, I used the No. 12 fairway as a driving range. There's no putting since the greens are a combination of dead and/or overgrown, but it is temporarily the greatest practice facility in the long and storied history of golf. I hope the two courses remain dormant through the fall and winter.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How rich could I get off sympathetic liberals if I were to open a non-profit called Whole Wheat Pancakes International with stated objectives of ending childhood hunger and slowing the rate of climate change?

Pam's Path

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete Pam's Path in 58:21, with splits of 14:49, 14:35, 14:45, and 14:12. I was disappointed by how hard those jogs were for the last twenty minutes or so.
My calorie deficit today was 630. Over the course of eighteen days, I have run a deficit of 10,390.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:08:12, with splits of 17:13, 16:30, 16:49, and 16:04.
Football season is scheduled to start today with an NFL preseason game between Denver and Atlanta. It's the annual Pro Football Hall of Fame game, first played in 1962 and as the preseason opener since 1970. It's part of the Hall of Fame induction process in Canton, Ohio, and has been through the bulk of my life kind of a big deal. I'm excited about it. NBC says it will televise the game beginning at 7 p.m.
I ran a 570 calorie deficit today.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 34:03.
I ran a 590 calorie deficit today.

Levy Trail Loop/First Tee

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 34:11.
After I visited Dr. Bill, John and I played one loop of First Tee this afternoon. John scored 47 and I scored 49. I had 1 par, 6 bogies, 1 double, 1 quintuple, and used 20 putts.
I ran a 700 calorie deficit today.

Lakewood Lake No. 3

I walked for about an hour and twenty minutes with a bunch of other Geezers around and about Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning. We poked along the whole while and I was glad for it. My legs are deader than those dead garlic festival fucks. I believe Elaine's watch said he went something like 3.6-3.8 miles.
My plan is to eat a bunch today. I have a considerable cushion built up in this attempt to maintain an average daily calorie deficit of five-hundred, so I just finished a big stack of homemade pancakes (something I learned to make a few weeks ago). I'm already up to a surplus of a couple of hundred. I think I will dessert on some fried chicken.
I ate a surplus of 700 calories today. After two weeks, I'm down 8030.

Levy Trail North/Levy Trail South/Rebsamen Park Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 34:16.
Early this evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 35:03 and then played the front nine at Rebsamen Golf Course in 47, with 3 pars, 2 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 14 putts. I fell apart late, but generally drove and chipped about as well as I ever do.
I ate 840 fewer calories than I burned today. My calorie deficit after 13 days is 8730.

River Trail

Fellow Geezer Larry Clarke and I walked the 6.75 miles out an back from the Clinton Library in downtown Little Rock to the skateboard park in North Little this morning in 1:59:30.
My calorie deficit today was 510. Yesterday's was 790.

Levy Trail North/First Tee

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute runs and jogs to complete Levy Trail North this morning in 28:35. I didn't see that coming (meaning that I felt great, almost fit). I hope it carries over to yet another golf attempt at First Tee. John and I are scheduled to tee off in sixty-eight minutes.
I scored 47 at First Tee. John scored 48. I had 1 par, 5 bogies, 3 doubles, and used 16 putts. We also played the Par 3 course. I scored 31 and John 36. I had 5 pars and 4 bogies.
Early this evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 31:49.

Burns Park/Pam's Path

I walked about three miles around the Par-70 golf course and on the River Trail in Burns Park this morning for 48:54.
This evening, I walked Pam's Path in 1:07:23.
My calorie deficit today was 520. After 10 days, I am at 7110.

Tolliver Body' Shop/First Tee/First Tee/Levy Trail Loop

I walked an elongated route from Tolliver's Body Shop to my house this morning in 35:22. I took the Crown Vic there to get the paint touched up. Tolliver's is, by the way, about a quarter of a mile north on MacArthur Drive from the old Honey Hut.
John, Ed, and I played one lap of First Tee this morning. I scored 46, Ed 47, and John 48. I had 5 pars, 1 bogie, 2 doubles, 1 pentagonal (with a 10 on No. 8), and used 16 putts.
I jogged for a total of seven minutes and otherwise walked the Levy Trail Loop this evening in 29:44.
I ran a 960 calorie deficit today. Through nine days, I'm down 6,070 calories, which means I could fail to run any deficits at all for the next three days, and I would still be 70 calories ahead of pace. I have a big blowout or splurge day waiting for me.

Levy Trail North/Rebsamen Park Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 33:07.
John and I played Rebsamen Park Golf Course this morning. I scored 94 and John 103. I had nines of 45 and 49. I had 1 birdie, 5 pars, 6 bogies, 2 doubles, 3 triples, 1 quadruple, and used 30 putts.
Last night, the Reds led at Milwaukee 4-1 in the eighth inning. Milwaukee scored four in the bottom of eighth to lead 5-4 and I fucking went to bed. I came in from my walk this morning and tuned into the ninth inning. With two outs and no one on in the top of the ninth, Nick Senzel hit a single, and Eugenio Suarez hit the next pitch halfway to Heidi's house and the Reds won 6-5.
My calorie deficit today was 800 and is 5,110 after eight days. One week into my diet, I weigh 196.5 pounds.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says anything about our founding fathers, since there is no way any of those long-dead motherfuckers ever dreamed our president would be a former game show host and the most influential man in Washington a former Comedy Channel star
.
OVERHEARD
"I got PowerAide on me, and, man, it is cold."
—Eugenio Suarez in a post-game interview after his game-winning home run and a grown man named Yasiel Puig poured a big bucket of PowerAide on him

Lakewood Lake No. 3/First Tee

Six other Geezers and I walked from Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning. Ron and I split from the group early and were out for 1:11:04.
This afternoon, I played First Tee from the front tees. Counting my putter, I carried seven clubs, with a 7-wood, 5-, 7-, and 9-irons, and two sand wedges. Since I was trying to get in some work with my irons, I played with a stipulation that I could use the wood no more than once a hole, even on Par 5s. I scored 47, with 3 pars, 2 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, and used 20 putts.
Today's calorie deficit was 620. That's 4310 for the first week, which should have led to a weight loss of approximately 1.23 pounds.

Hash/Rebsamen Park Golf Course

I was out for nine minutes, eight seconds on a run with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers n Cammack Village this afternoon. The longest anyone was out was for somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen minutes. The shortness of the run was in deference to about thirty Hashers who ran the Full Moon 25 or 50K last night.
Afterward, I played the front nine at Rebsamen Golf Course in 44. I had 3 pars, 4 bogies, 2 doubles, and used 17 putts.
I ran a 700 calorie deficit yesterday, a 510 deficit today, and am down 3690 after six days.

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail South

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:22 and time it such that I walked in as J.B. Holmes and Shane Lowry were walking from the tee box onto the No. 1 fairway. Unfortunately, I have volunteered to help Susy Chandler load ice for the Full Moon races at 1:37:50 p.m. over by the two-old-ladies bookstore, so I'll probably miss the last couple of holes.
This evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:30.
Yesterday, I ran a 570-calorie deficit, good for 2475 through four days. By the way, my goal here is to maintain an average deficit of 500 a day. As such, I could, for instance, run no more than a 25-calorie deficit today to meet that goal through five days.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop in this evening in 33:58.
I ran a calorie deficit yesterday of 660 for a three-day total of 1905.

Levy Trail

I walked on the Levy Trail with several other Geezers this morning for 1:10:21.
Yesterday, I ran a calorie deficit of 645. I'm at 1250 after two days.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:07:44, with two-mile splits of 34:25 and 33:19.
It's been a year or more since the last time I counted calories, but my weight has gotten a bit out of hand, and it's time to either cease concern about it or attempt to lose some of it. Yesterday, I started counting and ran an approximate deficit of 605 calories. I, by the way, don't know what I weigh, but I was at c. 197 in late March. I'll establish a baseline weight a week from yesterday, a practice typical of my past weight-loss efforts.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South early this evening in 33:35. Hurricane Barry has finished with Little Rock. It stopped raining at about 9 a.m. today. I guess it rained like two motherfuckers in southeast Arkansas this morning. Someone on the radio said they closed I-30 on the inexpensive side of Texarkana.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South in 34:46 beginning at approximately 4:30 p.m. Monday.

McCain Mall

Hurricane Barry struck the Little Rock metro today with approximately two inches of rain and twenty mile-an-hour winds. After I delivered goods to a baby shower for Susy and her wife Cat near McCain Mall, I walked through the mall for 34:12.

OVERHEARD
"We travel into space to find out more about ourselves. We want to know what our place is in the Universe."
—some woman's comment on a PBS special about Voyagers I and II entitled The Farthest — Voyager in Space, which to Pete sounds somewhat poetic, even lovely, but at the same time like utter poppycock. He just wants to ask her, "Do what? That's the reason?"

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:43. I'm sure it's clear I am no longer in training for anything. For the time being, I plan to begin work toward an ability to walk eighteen holes of golf in 100°+ heat indexes without asking my partners whether or not they have cell phones with them.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
What is the over-under year for the end of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's political career?*
*Pete's best guess is somewhere between 2020 and sometime after he fucking dies, and he swears nothing will surprise him. He, however, hopes hers ends on or before President Don Trump's so that those self-absorbed goddamn showboat motherfuckers aren't around for more than another one and a half to five and a half years

First Tee

John Czarnecki and I played First Tee this morning. Maybe three rounds in a week are too many. We both scored 52 for nine holes. I had 3 pars, 3 double bogies, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple, and I used 16 putts. We also played the nine holes of the Par 3 course.

Rebasmen Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Rebsamen Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 90, John 92, and I scored 94, with nines of 49 and 45. I had 3 pars, 9 bogies, 5 doubles, 1 triple, and used 33 putts. We walked off the course an hour ago. At 1:15 p.m., it is 97°F with a heat index of 108. It was like a fucking death march out there the last four or five holes.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this afternoon through roaring heat in 34:43. At 4:45 p.m., it's 97°F with a heat index of 107. It should be perfect weather for golf in the morning.

Rebsamen Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Rebsamen Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 90, I scored 97, and John 104. I had nines of 49 and 48, 5 pars, 5 bogies, 5 doubles, 3 triples, and used 31 putts.
I woke up Wednesday with a right groin strain and should not have golfed that day. This morning was the first time it was pain-free.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How does anyone say, "Freedom isn't free," and keep a straight face? I heard something like fifteen people say it on television last Friday. You know, as if people weren't fucking aware of this: "Oh, c'mon man, you're pulling my leg. You mean, someone has to pay for all these battleships and B-52s and shit?"*

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the aforementioned fifteen motherfuckers and *the first person who says anything about all the dead people and the role they played in the cost of our freedom because that goes as much without saying as the cost of canteens and camouflage and shit. Bring that up next Memorial Day, and we'll talk

War Memorial Park Golf Course

John, Ed, Steve Grace, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Steve scored 75, Ed and John 83, and I scored 84, with nines of 43 and 41. I used 35 putts in what was most likely my final round at War Memorial.
It was hotter than two motherfuckers.

Skateboard Park

Five other Geezers and I walked the Skateboard Park Loop this morning in 1:28:51.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
Why have the Women's World Cup announcers not said anything about how much the U.S. team needs at least a few better-looking players before the next World Cup? Lavelle's pretty, but she is absolutely it. This is another example of how our nation has lost sight of what's truly important

Did you know that Mike "Sandcat" Moustakas has made the National League All-Star team as a Milwaukee Brewer? He needed out of Kansas City for an obvious reason

Hindman Park Golf Course

I drove to Hindman Park Golf Course this morning with an idea of playing the entire course with a 7-iron, sand wedge, and putter, but there was a guy on a bulldozer digging up tee-box signs, and someone had already pulled the plastic cups out of the holes. I played Nos. 16 and 17 and drove home.

Levy Trail South/Hash

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:41.
Late this afternoon, I was out for 58:58 with the Litle Rock Hash House Harriers from Boyle Park.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why would anyone wonder about the sensibility of President Trump? In response to the busing issue raised between presidential candidates Kamala Harris and Joe Biden, he said this: “Well, it has been something that they’ve done for a long period of time. I mean, you know, there aren’t that many ways you’re going to get people to schools. So this is something that’s been done ... it is certainly a primary method of getting people to schools.”

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 34:14.

Hindman Park Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 93 and I scored 96, with nines of 50 and 46. I had 2 pars, 11 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, 1 quadruple, and used 35 putts. It was my final round there. The course is scheduled to close at the end of play tomorrow, June 28. I stole a white stone tee marker from the eighteenth tee box. It will make a perfect doorstop. Quite a few tee markers and flags were gone. What a sad time for golf and home.

The two courses at Burns Park have a good deal for seniors. They charge us (55+) $400 a year for unlimited play. Meanwhile, Ed said someone told him they would let us play the two courses at Rebsamen until our passes expire. Mine runs out in early December, Ed's next April, and I believe John's sometime this fall. John's away until July 1. I'm not sure what we'll do.

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 81 and Ed 83. I had nines of 42 and 39, with 1 birdie, 3 pars, 10 bogies, and 4 doubles. I used 32 putts.
The new mayor of Little Rock, the motherfucker, has overseen the shuttering of War Memorial and Hindman Park golf courses. Hindman's final day is this Friday. War Memorial's is a week from Friday, or July 4. Again, the motherfucker; I hope someone catches him lining his pants with profits from the things people build where Ed and I golfed today.

Skateboard Park Loop

Six other Geezers and I walked out and back from Burns Park Golf Course to the skateboard park on the River Trail this morning in 1:14:44.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 31:15. Afterward, I cooked shishkabobs for participants at the Little Rock Hash's Great Cross Country Race in Allsopp Park.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path across a sea of leaves, limbs, and garbage this morning in 1:07:54. A thunderstorm rolled through Levy at 9 p.m. yesterday that knocked out the power overnight. It came right after almost everyone in the neighborhood, other than I, had put trash cans on the curbs.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next politician who says that some other politician should apologize

Levy Trail Loop

It's fucking hot. My goal late this afternoon was to walk the Levy Trail Loop without sweating profusely, and I succeeded with a time of 35:43. I didn't even have to take my shirt off when I came in.
By the way, at 5:25 p.m., it's 93°F with a RealFeel® of 98.
This evening, beginning at 7:29, I played the front nine at War Memorial Park in 40, with 4 pars, 3 bogies, 1 double, and 1 triple. My drives were mediocre, but I hit my irons well, chipped OK, and used 16 putts, with 2 three putts and 4 one putts.

War Memorial Golf Course

I played seven holes—Nos. 1, 7-9, 12, 13, and 18—at War Memorial Golf Course this evening with two pars, 4 bogies, and 1 double.

Levi Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this morning in 33:12.
I hope this blog has made it evident that I'm a Brooks Koepka fan, so much so that I keep referring to him as Bryce Koepka, like yesterday.

Levy Trail

Four other Geezers and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning for 1:29:37.
By the way, I'm cheering like two motherfuckers for Bryce Koepka. He has become my Jim Fyurk, except for the part about his having his way with me.

OVERHEARD
"With that car, everyone's going to think you're with the FBI. You won't even have to show them a badge."
—Ron Gimblet commenting on Pete's 2005 Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 83. I scored 91, with nines of 47 and 44. I had 1 par, 10 bogies, 5 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 34 putts. Typical of golf, I hit my driver well for the first time in four rounds but sucked dicks with every other club in my goddamn motherfucking bag.

War Memorial Golf Course

I played nine holes (Nos. 1 & 7-14) at War Memorial Golf Course this evening in 39, with 2 pars, 6 bogies, and 1 double. I used 18 putts. The only club I'm having trouble with now is my driver.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the new booth announcer on National Public Radio, unless she stops mispronouncing "station." She says stay-shawn.' Everyone else in the English speaking world says stay'-shun. You know, with the emphasis on the first syllable, not the second, which should rhyme with the sun, not with someone named Shawn. I think she thinks her pronunciation of station sounds cool, but it doesn't. It sounds like someone trying to sound cool.
She is otherwise a solid booth announcer, so it's too bad she's gonna get stabbed.

Burns Park

Several other Geezers and I walked the main paved loop around Burns Park this morning in 1:17:23.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why do entertainment stars testify before the U.S. Congress on any issue other those directly related to entertainment, as in some guy today off the Comedy Channel crying, literally crying, about the plight of 9-11 responders?

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed Pennington and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 81 and I scored 87, with nines of 48 and 39. I used 32 putts.
My Crown Vic was great on a drive to Nashville and back today. What a smooth, powerful car.

Orange Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop early this evening in 41:50.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...Phill Mickelson and Tiger Woods for using the pronoun "that" when the pronoun "who" was called for in a story about Mickelson's diminished chance to win a U.S. Open. Both referred to great players "that" have played the game. People who do this should be compelled to also do the opposite. As in, "Here's the club who I used to hit that approach shot on No. 16," Mickelson said.
I wonder what the fucking New York Times would think about that.

Levy Trail South/Joe report

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:05.
I let Joe out yesterday. He's moving very well.

PROFESSOR PETE'S UNBEATABLE BELMONT STAKES PICK OF THE CENTURY AND SHIT
Bet $10 to win on Tacitus (No. 10). Bet a $5 exacta with Tacitus over Sir Winston (7) and War of Will (9), and $2 trifecta with Tacitus over a box for second and third with Sir Winston and War of Will. That will cost $24 and return a maximum of c. $250. If Tacitus wins, you should come close to breaking even if all else fails.
RESULT
Sir Winston won. Tacitus finished second, one length back. War of Will finished ninth in the field of ten. At least Pete was close for a change. What was good for him was that he found out they were starting a few ATP Challenger Tour tennis matches earlier than he thought, and he ran out of his house without getting a bet down. After the matches were over, he drove his Crown Vic (by the way, he still has the Impala, and it's running fine) faster than two motherfuckers to bet on the race and arrived home maybe forty-two seconds after Sir Winston crossed the line

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop late this morning in 48:04.
Last Monday, I bought a 2005 Ford Crown Victoria via govdeals.com from the City of Pine Bluff for $2,100. It has 140,000 miles on it. It needs a paint touchup, but it is otherwise nearly perfect. A bunch of mechanics on Quora said the Crown Vic and the Toyota Prius are the two longest-lasting cars ever built. From what I have read, I can expect it to last at least 500,000 miles. Man, you should see the interior. It's huge. I'm not kidding, seven people could sit in this car somewhat comfortably. Plus, on top of that, they must have killed five cows to get all that tan leather in there. Furthermore, you could put at least fifteen bodies in the trunk. I can't wait to take a long road trip with it.
All that said, this car's prime feature is its non-digital odometer. Thanks to this Crown Vic, I can, once again, measure my routes with a car rather than with all that high-tech computer hubbub.

Levy Trail South

It rained all day today. I remember back when if it rained all day in early June everyone said, "We sure needed that." The only people who would say that now are those who want Pine Bluff relocated to the Gulf of fucking Mexico.
It stopped in time for me to walk Levy Trail South this evening in 33:14.

Levy Trail South/Joe report

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:22.
Joe apparently fought something early Monday morning. He has limped around since. My vet showed me the wounds on his right rear leg this morning and gave him a penicillin shot. I guess he'll be OK in a few days. By the way, I found out Joe looks quite a bit like a cat named Phyllis, according to two women with a great big dog—who was built almost exactly like a grizzly bear—in the lobby of Eubanks Pet Clinic.
I rarely ready good stories published by TV networks, but here's one about the U.S. Open: www.golfchannel.com/news/pga-tour-players-plea-usga-ahead-2019-us-open-just-keep-it-fair

War Memorial Golf Course

Ed Penington and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. Ed scored 83. I scored 86, with nines of 46 and 40. I used 36 putts.

Hash

I spent 1:25:58 setting a run for the Little Rock Hash House Harriers at Emerald Park this morning. Eight people made my run, all men except for Hannah, who is a twenty-four-year-old firecracker. If she continues to run with us, she will take over our group. There's a chance that every other woman Hasher will quit.

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. We started at 7:30 a.m. and managed to play ten holes in an hour and a half before a tournament started at 9 a.m. We played Nos. 1 and 2 and 7-14. We were in such a hurry that John didn't keep score. I scored 46, or +10, with 3 pars, 4 bogies, and 3 doubles. I used 18 putts.
I have now played 36 consecutive holes without a triple bogie. I don't know what my best streak is for that kind of run.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K in 49:57 and went through three miles in 48:24, with splits of 16:25, 16:03, and 15:56. It's much cooler today than it's been. At 10:57 a.m., it's 70°F and drier than Joe's sense of humor.

Levy/War Memorial Golf Course/Joe report

I walked around the southern portion of Levy this morning for 36:14.
This afternoon, John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course. My ribs felt fine. I scored 80, with nines of 41 and 39, and John 91. I had 2 birdies (on Nos. 10 and 16), 3 pars, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, and used 30 putts.
For the second time this year, I nearly had a hole in one. My 9-iron tee shot on No. 9 landed in the front fringe and rolled by the pin, inches from the hole. John and I both thought it was going in.
It appears Joe has decided on a nocturnal lifestyle. He has spent two of the last three nights outside. We'll see what happens tonight, but he's out now and completely wired (at 9:20 p.m.). I guess it's OK. I like the ol' cat between my knees when I sleep, but in truth, it's probably safer for a cat to be outside all night rather than outside all day. Plus, it's kind of fun to open up the door at 6-8 a.m. and watch Joe come running in all hungrier than two motherfuckers.
Joe acts as if he loves me just as much as Pam and Jo did, but he's a way different cat. I do occasionally have to remind him that he's no more than a fifteen-minute drive away from the dog pound where I bought him, but that has in no way deterred him from climbing into my bookshelves and tossing books onto the rug. Climbing onto my desk and swatting mugs full of pens and bookmarks onto the hardwood floors. Godamn laughing and pitching ashtrays and marbles all over the fucking bathroom. This relatively beautiful black-and-gray tabby shredded an entire roll of toilet paper in my bathtub. He likes to jump from a table in my back bedroom into the closet and attempt to climb clothes to a shelf six feet off the floor. Motherfucker has twice climbed to the top of my backdoor screen and screamed for someone to rescue him.
To summarize, I  love Joe completely.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 32:49.
By the way, thank you to everyone for their Bart Starr tributes.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this afternoon in 32:38. My ribs are only a bit sore. Obviously, they were not broken. It's amazing, really, how much better they feel today than yesterday. I can almost swing a golf club. I have eaten a fantastically antiinflammatory diet since Wednesday morning and hope to keep it up for at least the next goddamn forty years.
You know what, it just occurred to me that Jo would have turned 12 yesterday. Man, I miss her.
By the way, Bart Starr died yesterday. He was 85. I saw lots of nice tributes to him, including a couple on Facebook.
Here's a play-by-play of the Ice Bowl. If you fast forward to exactly 50 minutes, you can watch the final drive, which is the most heralded in football history. It ended with Green Bay's third consecutive NFL championship. No other team has won three in a row:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGjg7j-qTvw

Levy Trail South

My ribs felt much better as I walked Levy Trail South late this morning in 33:47. Perhaps they are merely bruised.
When I walked in, a woman named Chevel Shepherd was about halfway through singing God Bless America from the track at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. I'm here to tell you, I can't wait until someone posts it on Utube. Her voice was a hair froggy but otherwise lovely, and I think the frogginess might have added to the quality of what I thought was the most patriotic sounding patriotic song I have ever heard, and I am not one to get all goose-bumpy over god bless America (unless, you know, someone uses it very expertly as part of their criticism of something). By the way, I looked Miss Chevel up. She won one of those six-month televised singing tournaments. I watched her winning song and there was nothing froggy about it. I guess she tied one on last night.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this morning in 35:33.
Before daybreak, Wednesday, I fell and landed right-ribcage first on a large boulder in my den. It hurt, of course, but by Thursday, the pain was so severe I feared organ damage. Long story short, Dr. Bill tells me I likely have at least a couple hairline rib fractures. Perhaps mere contusions (I hope). I exercised for the first time since the fall when I walked the Levy Trail a couple of hours ago. My ribs hurt, but just a bit. My objective is to do all I can to avoid pain, which I have known as the only rib-injury treatment since a fall while fishing at Camp Clearfork in 2002. That one took about two months to get completely over.
Golf is, for the time being, completely out of the question. We'll see how I progress.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this afternoon in 1:06:36.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:25.
I, no shit, just spent an hour and forty-five minutes working on chip shots, combining advice given me from a book by Harvey Pinick (don't hit consecutive chips, but rather chip and then putt) and a video by Dave Pelz (place the ball in line with the right heel). I need more work, but I think I'm moving in the right direction.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:11.

Camp Robinson

I walked to Camp Robinson and back on the Levy Trail late this morning in 1:27:24.

OVERHEARD
"Guys, could you turn your fucking tone off? Jesus Christ."
—Rory McIlroy, PGA Tour junior ambassador, to a cell phone bastard from the No. 16 tee box at Bethpage State Park Black course

DO NOT HOLD BACK BET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE NO KIDDING BORROW AS MUCH AS ANYONE WILL GIVE YOU LOCK OF TWO MOTHERFUCKERS' LIFETIMES AND SHIT PREAKNESS STAKES CINCH

Bet a cold $10 exacta with Owendale (No. 5) over Alwaysmining (No. 7). Hedge with a $2 exacta with Alwaysmining over Owendale. The former should pay something like $900 and the latter right around $90.

Results: Owendale finished third and Alwaysmining tenth in the Preakness field of thirteen.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:08:34. I'm not sure whether or not this is a record, but it took exactly fourteen minutes for spring to turn to summer in Levy. Overnight, it's hotter than two motherfuckers here.

OVERHEARD
"Brooks Koepka is doing a Secretariat."
—golf teacher and pgatour.com analyst Michael Breed after Koepka sunk a long birdie putt to go to 12-under par on No. 16 on Day 2 of the PGA Championship. It was a world-class analogy, considering the proximity of Bethpage State Park Golf Courses and Belmont Park Race Track, where Secretariat did this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V18ui3Rtjz4

Levy Trail South/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:14.
A bit later, John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course. John scored 93 and I scored 96. It was by far my worst round in months. I had nines of 48 and 48 and used 35 putts. I think I had one par. I know I never once hit a drive worth a darn.

Levy Trail South/Joe report

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete Levy Trail South this evening in 33:14.
My goal is to get to sleep early so as not to miss Tiger's and Pete's PGA Championship tee times tomorrow morning.
It is amazing how much Joe has grown in the six weeks since I brought him home. I haven't weighed him, but I believe he is already the largest cat who's lived with me. He doesn't look like a kitten anymore.

Pam's Path

I forgot to record that I walked Pam's Path late this morning in 1:04:53. Today was a big landscaping day at my place on Orange Street. No kidding, drive to Fort Worth and you can see the pile of branches piled up at the edges of my yard and the street.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:25.

Hash/War Memorial Golf Course

I was out for 1:18:28 this afternoon on a long fucking Little Rock Hash run from a bar on Main Street.
Afterward, I played the back nine at War Memorial Golf Course with a friendly young fellow named Jeff Grimes. I'm not sure what Jeff scored, but I had a 40, with 3 pars, 5 bogies, and 1 triple. I used 15 putts.
We received tragic though not completely unexpected news Friday. The new Little Rock mayor plans to close War Memorial and Hindman Golf Courses at the end of June. The only the good thing is, I checked at Burns Park this morning to learn they have a deal for seniors that lets us play unlimited rounds on each of its two courses for $400 a year, so I guess we'll be OK. Nevertheless, if the asswad in Little Rock gets his way, I'm gonna really, really miss those two courses.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path late this afternoon in 1:04:41. It's cold here. No shit, my heater has been on since late yesterday afternoon.

Levy Trail South/Levy Trail South/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail South late Thursday afternoon in 32:15.
This morning, I walked Levy Trail South in 30:43. Afterward, beginning at 9:30, John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course. I scored 85 and John 93. I had nines of 41 and 44, with 2 pars, 13 bogies, 1 double, and 2 triples. I used 36 putts.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path tonight in 1:04:54. The south side of Levy is nearly flooded. It rained harder than two motherfuckers most of the day.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this evening in 33:24.

Levy Trail South/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail South this morning in 32:31.
Beginning at lunchtime today, John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played a round of golf at War Memorial Golf Course. Ed scored 83. I scored 90 and John 94. I had nines of 46 and 44 and used 31 putts. I didn't hit almost any full shots worth a shit. My legs were and are shot, I'm guessing from the eight miles I walked yesterday.

Oaklawn Park/Oaklawn Park/Pam's Path-Poplar Street Loop/War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail South

I walked Pam's Path and the Poplar Street Loop late this morning in 1:40:17, which puts me within two miles of twenty for the week.
Beginning at about 6:30 p.m., I played nine holes at War Memorial Golf Course with John. We played Holes 7-14 and 18, which have a total par of 33, one more than the front and back nines. I scored a 43, with 2 pars, 5 bogies, 1 double, and 1 triple, and used 18 putts.
Shortly afterward, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:03.to keep my streak alive
I walked a little over two miles after I turned in stories at Oaklawn Park on Friday and Saturday night.
I lost one $10 bet on the Kentucky Derby to finish the Oaklawn season down $32. It was my first losing season since 2016.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 30:46 and will leave for Oaklawn Park in fifteen minutes. I have to write four goddamn stories today. I hope to find time to walk at least two more miles today. Otherwise, I will have to walk ten over the weekend to keep my streak alive.

Hot Springs

HOT SPRINGS—After a day at Oaklawn Park today, I walked for 34:05 out and back from my car in the track parking lot.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 34:13.

Levy Trail South

It is cloudy and muggier than two motherfuckers. They say it will rain about five feet tomorrow. I walked Levy Trail South in 33:19 this morning and came back in sweating for the first time this year.
Now I'm leaving for my third round of golf in three days. John and I plan to play Hindman Park.
John scored 91 and I scored 95, with nines of 47 and 48. I used 36 putts. I was delighted to watch John play the best golf of his life. Heck, man, I'm pretty sure his best round at War Memorial is 92. I, no kidding, saw John score a 149 at Hindman in late 2016.
On the other hand, I struggled most of the day, perhaps as a result of general fatigue. I'm not sure how I scored as low 95. The only good thing is that I played Nos. 9 and 18 in 4 and 5, respectively.

Levy Trail Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 31:22.
Ed and I played War Memorial Golf Course today. Ed scored 82 and I scored 84, with nines of 40 and 44. I had 1 birdie, 3 pars, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, 1 triple, and used 38 putts. My birdie, with an eight-iron on No. 4 from 123 yards, hit three feet in the front of the cup and stopped four inches away. It's my new closest to a hole-in-one.

Levy Trail 5K/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this afternoon in 47:43 and went through one mile in 15:40 and three in 46:17. It's nearly perfect out. I think I'll golf for a couple of hours this evening.
I played War Memorial Golf Course this afternoon and evening. I took me two hours and 27 minutes to play a round in 82, with nines of 40 and 42. I had 5 pars, 8 bogies, and 5 doubles and used 33 putts. Now I'm watching a replay of the Reds-Cardinals game as Joe plays in the yard with his Siamese buddy.

Pam's Path/ Joe report

This morning's walk was reminiscent for me of eight-minute-a-mile jogs from c. 1976-1986, back when that felt like a pace I could maintain virtually forever. So, it was demonstrative of how far I have fallen. I walked Pam's Path in 1:06:55, with splits of 17:08, 16:58, 16:47 and 16:03.
Among Jo Sr.'s (as John Czarnecki refers to her) admirable traits were her ways of greeting me. When I came in from walks or trips away in my car, she would nearly always run from wherever she was to greet me. I'm not sure Joe Jr. will ever do that, but I did get him to run from the backyard by my making my universal pet-attracting verbal clicking sound after today's walk. He hesitated in my front yard but made it to the end of the driveway within a minute or so. We'll see how he progresses.

Levy Trail Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop early this afternoon in 32:02.
John and I played War Memorial Golf Course late this afternoon and evening. I scored 85, with nines of 41 and 44, and John 100. I had 5 pars, 7 bogies, 4 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 30 putts. My streak of holes without a three-putt ended at 28. It's now at nine.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop early this afternoon in 33:15.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says boom, unless they're referring to an explosion or collision or the like. Please, give this motherfucker a rest

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 34:00.

War Memorial Golf Course/Lakewood Lake No. 3

Four other Geezers and I walked from Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning for 1:34:40.
Yesterday afternoon and evening, John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Park Golf Course. I scored 89 and John 94. I had nines of 48 and 41 and used 33 putts. It was my first round in a while without at least one three-putt. I'm on a streak of 26 holes without one. My longest is 47, from, I think, 1997. I don't see that record falling.

Levy Trail

I walked and jogged three miles on the Levy Trail at lunchtime today in 42:18.

Oaklawn Park

HOT SPRINGS—I walked for 34:07 beginning at about 8 o'clock tonight from the Oaklawn Park parking lot after I covered the Rainbow and Rainbow Miss Stakes for the paper.
I left Joe outside all day today. He seemed delighted when I returned. I was pleased to see how well he passed his sternest indoor-outdoor-cat test yet. Two weeks and two days in, I love him dearly already, this cat Joe. You should see him.

Pam's Path

I alternated one-minute runs with four-minute walks to complete Pam's Path this morning in 54:46, with intervals of 14:14, 13:45, 13:32, and 13:15.
On the cat front, Joe left our house in escape-like fashion today for the first time. I opened the kitchen door to adjust my TV antenna and, boom, he dashed out as if he were getting away with something. That's a big step for him, and it pleased me quite a bit. Also, another thing, he has developed a relationship with the feral Siamese cat I recently wrote about here. They seem to get along, sort of like Pam and Chris did. Unlike Jo, I think Joe might not mind if I were to adopt a step-brother or sister for him.
And one more thing. Joe, unlike every other cat who's lived with me (Pam Sr., Pam, Samantha, Jo, and Ruth) has consistently put up a significant fuss very early in the morning. This son of a bitch seems to get a big kick out of curling up around my face and purring louder than two motherfuckers at 5 a.m.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this afternoon in 33:09. I wore blue jeans and a sweatshirt and five minutes after I started, it began to rain harder than two motherfuckers. It kind of made me feel as if I looked like an idiot, with water dripping off the brim of my Adidas hat onto soggy clothes as I walked through rush hour.

Levy Trail Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 28:56.
This morning and early afternoon, John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course. I scored 79, Ed 85, and John 91. I had nines of 41 and 38, with 1 birdie, 6 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 36 putts. It was my third time under 80 on this course since I came out of golf retirement and my first since Nov. 1, 2017.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Has anyone other than I (or, perhaps, everyone including I) ever noticed that only bums—complete, utter bottom-of-the-barrel bums—wear their hoods up in comfortable weather?

OVERHEARD
"Ed said, 'Tiger Woods couldn't have hit that shot any better.' "
—John to Pete after Pete hit a 60° wedge from thirty yards to four feet after a terribly pulled tee shot on the Par 3 No. 16. Pete missed the putt

Levy Trail

Seven other Geezers and I walked for 1:03:14 on the Levy Trail this morning.

Lakewood Lake No. 2

Three other Geezers and I walked for a little over fifty minutes this morning around Lakewood Lake No. 2.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 32:08.

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked around the inside of Oaklawn's facility this morning, to stay out of a literal mid-American typhoon, for 39:11. Today is the Arkansas Derby, so, with the new schedule, there are three weeks left in the season. Through 11 weeks, my original $40 voucher has dwindled to $22.

OVERHEARD
"Somebody needs to kick Cody in the balls."
—one Oaklawn employee to another on the second floor of the grandstands before the track opened on Arkansas Derby Day

Levy Trail South

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete Levy Trail South tonight in 28:04. I arrived home from Oaklawn Park at about 10 p.m. It wasn't until 10:30 or so that I remembered I had failed to walk or run at least two miles today. Fuck.
It was nice to have a cat to return to. Joe didn't exactly run to the door, but he did sit a few feet inside it as I opened the door. He's a little sick, sneezing and such as if he has a cold. Dr. Weiner thinks he has a viral infection.
I covered the Fantasy Stakes, the filly version of the Arkansas Derby this afternoon. I think I wrote a pretty good paragraph. At least I think. Let's see.

PARAGRAPH OF THE DAY

Santana, Jr., had Lady Apple on the rail, subtly removed from the contest to his filly’s right side, and she moved slowly enough relative to the frontrunners that her gradual advance went unnoticed by most.

Having read that, perhaps it is better understood with the proceeding graphs of narrative and quotes.

Lady Apple, still in third, was within two lengths at the head of the stretch, but the finish appeared shaped to resolve the stretch-run battle between Motion Emotion and Brill, trained by Hall of Famer Jerry Hollendorfer.

“We had a great trip, honestly,” Geroux said. “We broke right off the pace, and for a minute in the stretch, I thought we would win it, but there were three very good horses in that race.”

“I thought the big difference was when Brill kind of pushed us around the turn,” Van Berg said. “I wish they could’ve both taken a little longer to take a little breather. I think they would’ve both finished stronger, but [Smith] slowed him down between the quarter and the half. He did what he was supposed to do.”

Santana, Jr., had Lady Apple on the rail, subtly removed from the contest to his filly’s right side, and she moved slowly enough relative to the frontrunners that her gradual advance went unnoticed by most.

Levy Trail 5K/Pam's Path

I walked the Levy Trail 5K yesterday morning in a little under forty-eight minutes. Late this afternoon, I walked Pam's Path in 59:46, with two-mile splits of 30:28 and 29:18.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:52.

Lakewood Lake No. 2

Four other Geezers and I walked for 1:29:59 around and near Lakewood Lake No. 2 this morning.
Joe was still asleep when I got up at 6:30 this morning. Hufuckingrray. He chased my chip shots all over the front yard this afternoon. Later, he went out on his own and hung out a bit with a feral Siamese who has named my and dead Tom's yards home over the last week or so. They seem to at least not mind each other. Joe has, at times, displayed world-class potential. We'll see.

Levy Trail 5K

Joe's gonna take some training. He woke me up at 4:30 a.m. today, so I spent a good part of the morning, afternoon, and evening getting him used to outdoors, which I don't think he had experienced before. He was out for about thirty minutes before I walked this evening. I left him out as I walked the Levy Trail 5K in 49:09 and went through three miles in 47:38. When I got back, he was hiding behind my washing machine. This could take a while, but I hope that before long I can put him out if he wakes me up considerably before fucking daybreak.

Pam's Path

Joe let me sleep until 7:30 this morning, and he is now eating like a regular cat. After I gave him some of that homemade sardine-salmon stuff, I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Pam's Path in 58:34.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail South

John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. I scored 86 and John 106. I had nines of 46 and 40, with 4 pars, 6 bogies, and 8 doubles, and I used 34 putts.
Early this evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:55.
By the way, I adopted a cat yesterday from Little Rock Animal Village, which is off the final street you take to drive into First Tee. He's a seven-month-old tabby, a textbook gray tiger. He seems absolutely crazy about me. I think he's wonderful,* but he didn't eat a thing yesterday. Nothing. I bought three different bags of cat food, and he wouldn't touch any of it. I had some canned cat food left over from Jo, but he wouldn't eat that either. Finally, this morning, I got him to eat a few slivers of canned sardines. After golf, I made him a sardine-canned salmon version of the stuff I fed Pam for a while, with rice, green beans, and carrots, but heavier on fish, and he got into it pretty good. A little later, he made a minor dent in some dry stuff, so I'm not quite as worried as I sit here with him watching the Red most likely lose another close game.
I was going to name him Chuck after the Chuck Pet Smart screwed over thirteen years ago, but I spent all day yesterday calling him Jo. Before I went to bed, I decided, fuck it, I'll just call him Joe.
*Joe meows a bit too much, like every time I leave a room he's in. He slept with me last night, but I woke up at 4:45 with him curled up on the pillow against my face, purring like two motherfuckers. I believe those are minor flaws he can work on. Furthermore, he's gone back to the dry food bowl a couple of more times tonight, so I'm relieved

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this evening in 33:24.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 48:45, with a three-mile split of 47:18.
The fucking North Little Rock cat pound in Burns Park has lost any shot of me as a customer. Listen to this insanity: They have a new policy that prevents cat shoppers from opening the cages they keep their cats in. Simple as that. You have to make up your mind on adoption based on the feedback you get through the cage. The head honcho woman told me it was established to prevent the spread of potential illnesses between cats.
"If one throws up, they all throw up," she said.
I told her there was no way I would adopt a cat I could not hold and who did not pass the lap test. It's too bad because they had three really cute boys in there.

OVERHEARD
"My sister died of that six months ago."
—Seventy-year-old woman in line at the Kroger pharmacy after an older, somewhat frail woman in front told her she had COPD. Neither the older woman nor I could fucking believe the response

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path at lunchtime today, with splits of 16:34, 32:34 for the middle two miles, and 15:34.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 33:40.

Levy

I walked on the Levy Trail and around Levy's Better Homes district (the official name of my section of town) this morning for 49:34.
I didn't see a cat. I did, however, see two uncollared stray dogs wandering around a house whose formers occupants may have abandoned them, I suppose.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Does anyone who loves pets think its a good idea for everyone to spay and neuter their dogs and cats and to otherwise pick up all the strays and do the same for them?

Ouachita Trail

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs for 1:57:49, out and back from the spillway on the Ouachita Trail this morning. I started with a group of seven, organized by the running store Fleet Feet-Easy Runner. I'm guessing I went about seven and a half miles.
I tried to adopt a cat on Thursday, but the guy at the pound said the one I wanted, an approximately six-month-old gray tiger cat, was already promised and about to be shipped to Michigan. He, the cat, wanted me to take him home. I'm sorry I couldn't, kind of like I'm sorry they wouldn't give me Chuck. Yesterday, I drove by three dog pounds and two Pet Smarts and saw a total of two cats eligible for adoption, both of whom seemed disinterested in me. It seems as if there is a shortage of eligible cats in the greater Levy metropolitan area, which seems crazy to me.

Levy Trail/War Memorial Golf Course

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete five miles late this morning on the Levy Trail in 1:13:34, with splits of 14:49, 14:35, 14:40, 14:59, and 14:30.
Late this afternoon and early evening, I played War Memorial Golf Course with a delightful 28-year-old man named Weston Weeks. I'm not sure what Weston scored. He's new to the game and wasn't keeping it, though late in the round he was doing fine; he probably played the back under 50. I scored 81, with nines of 43 and 38. I had 1 birdie, 5 pars, 9 bogies, 3 triples, and used 34 putts.
Weston is a Hendrix grad who works as an analyst for a credit union. His wife is a third-year medical student. He sounded eager to play again. "I had so much fun," he said, twice.

Original Levy Loop

I walked the original Levy Loop early this evening in 33:20.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:00:57, with splits of 15:46, 15:20, 15:14, and 14:37.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail South

Ed and I played War Memorial Park this morning and early afternoon. We each scored 87. I had nines of 42 and 45, used 36 putts, and had 5 pars, 6 bogies, 6 doubles, and 1 triple.
This evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:06.

Levy Trail Loop/NCAA

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this afternoon in 32:57.
After two rounds of the NCAA Tournament, Pam is in a five-way tie for eighth with 48 points in the 2019 DemGaz Office Pool, six points behind the leader, Phil Martin.

River Trail/Hash

I walked on the River Trail early this afternoon for 36:21.
Late this afternoon, I walked and jogged for 49:59 on a Hash run from Allsopp Park to Knoop Park and back.

Oaklawn Park

HOT SPRINGS—After a long but fruitful day at Oaklawn Park, I walked around the barns and track parking Saturday night lot for 34:23.
I lost a total of $4 and am now down $10 for the season.
At last, finally, I went an entire day without a single thought in the present tense about the great Jo. That thought occurred to me about 10 minutes from Levy. For the first time, I did not once consider whether she would run from our yard to the car or from a windowsill to the front door when I arrived home. It took me thirty-four days. Jo's pleased, I'm sure.*
*yes, I hoped that last sentence would crack someone other than Jo up

Levy Trail/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked about three miles on the Levy Trail today in 49:09. This morning is cool, dry, sunny, and wind-free. John said Tim (Tiny Tim) Biggs will join us for golf today. He's been out for over a year with a bum shoulder. I guess we'll see.
Timmy didn't make it. He said we started too late for him. John, Ed, and I played War Memorial Golf Course, and Ed scored 83, I scored 93, and John scored 102. I had another goddamn 10, with nines of 49 and 43, and used 36 putts.

Levy Trail

Several other Geezers and I walked about five miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 1:25:30.

Camp Robinson Round Trip

I walked and jogged the Camp Robinson Round Trip this morning in 1:27:05. I added a loop of Orange, 47th, Maple, and 45th Streets to increase the trip total from 5.4 miles to 6. I spent a total of approximately half an hour talking to a guy named Chris Fiat, who at least posed as a city official of sorts, who said that for by-god certain the Levy Trail would by the end of the year be paved and lighted all the way to Camp Robinson, and to Steve Allan and Mike, who both live about 150 yards up Orange Street Hill from my house, and who both assured me that the TV show Bonanza is funnier than two motherfuckers to anyone who has eaten a THC-laced gummy bear.*
*they also both told me that if I was ever handed such a gummy bear from Colorado, to eat only half of it, that an entire Colorado gummy bear was entirely too rich in THC. God, I love the cultural diversity of this neighborhood. The University of Michigan should recruit solely between 47th Street and I-30 in North Little Rock. I mean, if that's truly what it's looking for, cultural diversity rather than people who merely look different from one another (though they'd get a nice dose of that, too).

Levy Trail North

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Levy Trail North this afternoon in 29:36.
Late this afternoon, I played eight holes—Nos. 11-18—at Hindman Golf Course in 42, with 1 par, 5 bogies, and 2 doubles. I used 16 putts.

OVERHEARD
"Man, I'm sitting here in my front yard with the sunshine on my face, and I ain't got no time to listen to your goddamn what's-going-on bullshit."
—old man speaking on a cell phone as he sat in a lawn chair cattycorner across 35th Street from Pete's house

Levy Trail Loop/War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Trail South

For the time being, my legs are livelier than two motherfuckers. I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 29:36, and every step was easy. I hope this carries over to War Memorial Golf Course.
John, Ed, and I played War Memorial this morning and afternoon. Ed scored 88. I scored 90 and John 92. I had nines of 46 and 44 (with a pentagonal-bogie 10), used 36 putts, and had 4 pars, 9 bogies, 1 double, 2 triples, 1 quadruple, and the aforementioned pentagonal. I played the final five holes in 2-over, and my legs remained livelier than the two aforementioned motherfuckers.
And the liveliness persists. Just before dusk, I walked Levy Trail South in 32:29.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path late this afternoon in 1:05:19. Once again, my legs felt dead. They have for the last week or so.

Oaklawn Park

HOT SPRINGS—I walked around the infield and the barns at Oaklawn Park this morning and then did an out and back along Central Avenue for a total of 1:04:22, which puts me up to 16 miles for the week.
I had a unique career experience today and tonight when I wrote two stories for the paper about the Rebel Stakes, the third of Oaklawn Park's four Kentucky Derby qualifying races. The race was split into two divisions (two races), and as a consequence, I was asked to write two Rebel Stakes stories. Both required nearly identical explanations and backstories. Here are excerpts from each, combined to display the trickiness of the paper's request:*

PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS — The early race of the two-division Grade II $750,000 1-mile-and-1/16th Rebel Stakes at Oaklawn Park on Saturday virtually wrapped up a spot in the Kentucky Derby for a horse loaded with local connections.

Owned by Willis Horton of Marshall, ridden by long-time Oaklawn jockey Jon Court, and trained by nine-time Oaklawn training-champion Steve Asmussen, a colt named Long Range Toddy improved on his previous success at Oaklawn with a late move to win the Rebel over a field of seven other three-year-olds, each with sights on racing’s pinnacle.

Long Range Toddy, at 8-1, completed the race in 1:42.49 before a crowd estimated at 45,500.

The Rebel was split into two races by Oaklawn officials to make room for shippers, particularly those from the west coast burdened in their pursuit of Kentucky Derby qualifying points by Santa Anita Park’s closure, which led to the cancelation of the San Felipe Stakes, a Derby prep that was to offer 85 qualifying points

When the season began, the Rebel — as one race — offered a purse of $1 million and was designated to distribute 85 Derby qualifying points. After Santa Anita’s self-imposed suspension on March 5, which followed the deaths of 21 horses injured on its surface, Oaklawn decided to raise the total purse of a split Rebel to $1.5 million, or $750,000 for each race. By Derby qualification rules, qualifying points for each race were reduced by 75 percent from 85 points to 63.75.

PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS — Mike Smith spent seven seasons at Oaklawn Park early in his career. Now a 53-year-old member of the National Museum of Racing and Hall Fame, Smith makes periodic returns to the track as a racing superstar.

They rarely disappoint.

Smith rode Fox Hill Farms’ Omaha Beach to a photo-finish win over top-ranked and 1-2 favorite Game Winner in the late division of the two-race Grade II $750,000 1-mile-and-1/16th Rebel Stakes in 1:42.42 before a crowd estimated at 45,500 on Saturday at Oaklawn Park.

Game Winner, owned by Gary and Mary West, was shipped by Hall of Fame trainer Bob Baffert from the disastrous aftermath of Santa Anita Park’s recent tragedy. A total of 22 horses have been euthanized since mid-December after they were injured on Santa Anita’s racetrack near Los Angeles.

Smith, a longtime Santa Anita veteran, said he remains hopeful for racing in California and nationwide.

“It’s such a sad situation for such an iconic place,” Smith said. “It’s a huge a black eye for horse racing, but we in racing are a huge family. I think we’ll pull together and pull through this. We all love horses, and we want to do what’s best for them at all times. Without horses, we wouldn’t have this life that we’ve been so blessed to have. We just need to make sure they’re well protected, and we’ll get ourselves back on track.”

Two Rebels were offered by Oaklawn officials to help West Coast three-year-old horses and their connections in search of another avenue to earn Kentucky Derby qualifying points. Their local opportunity was lost with Santa Anita’s closure and the subsequent cancelation of the San Felipe Stakes, which was to offer 85 points toward Derby qualification.

The Rebel, as planned, would have offered a purse of $1 million and hand out 85 Derby qualifying points to the first four finishers. With the split, Oaklawn added $500,000 to the total purse. To meet Derby qualification rules, the two split Rebels distributed a total of 63.75 points, down 75 percent from the original designation.

Omaha Beach, in his first stakes attempt, picked up 37.5 Derby points with his Rebel win, enough to virtually assure his qualification for the Derby, scheduled for May 4 at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Ky. No horse has reached 33 or more points and failed to qualify for the Derby since the points system was established for the 2013 race.

*having read this, I am reassured that I did a job adequate to fulfill the paper's request. I feared excessive redundancy (and in fact submitted a brief argument for one big fucking story rather than two smaller ones. I still believe that would have been a wiser choice, but I'm pleased this worked out OK)

By the way, home now at 11:56 p.m., I now think I know why I complained so much last Saturday about Jo's death. I think my favorite times with her were after long, gut-wrenching days at Oaklawn Park. She was usually a joy to return to and usually seemed as pleased as I was. You know, most times, and I think maybe that's it. We'll see.