Ghetto Cat Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:57. I tried to walk slowly enough to not sweat, but failed. It's 96°F at 10:30 a.m. Yesterday it got to 111. Tonight I jogged and walked the Orange Street Loop in 36:43, with splits of 11:39, 12:35, and 12:29, and arrived home in time to see the Cincinnati Reds hold on for a 7-6 victory over San Diego. Thanks to that, and the Phillies' victory Washington, the Reds now have the best record in the Major Leagues.

Levy Loop Classic/34th Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop Classic this morning in 31:54, and tonight, at about nine o'clock, jogged the 34th Street Loop in 32:28, with splits of 10:56, 10:52, and 10:40. I forgot to check the temperature when I finished, but at 10:03 p.m., thirty minutes later, it's 95°F, and muggier than two motherfuckers. It was sweltering, too shitty to have been out there any longer.

OVERHEARD
"I don't know if that was necessarily needed."
—NBC field hockey analyst at the Summer Olympics

"If you see something that looks suspicious, then it probably is suspicious."
—Cabot police officer on local newscast

Maple Street/First Tee/Hash

If you separated all the women on Earth into, I don't know, let's say twenty-five categories, I walked by a woman this morning who falls exactly into the one Chris' mom Jan would occupy. She was watering a small tree in her front yard on Hillside Drive as I walked by on the Maple Street Loop, and I immediately thought of Jan, and of a character Thomas Wolfe developed in You Can't Go Home Again, about whom he wrote, "She had the soft and radiant glow of an outdoor girl." She was blonde, sixty, pretty, wore beat-up khakis, an ancient, red polo shirt, and we talked about the weather for a solid forty-five seconds. I finished the loop in 32:01, and thirty minutes later drove to First Tee, where I scored a 50 for nine holes. Krupsaw scored a 53. I had 1 par, 4 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 17 putts. Today was the grand reopening. The new Bermuda greens were beautiful.

I walked for about 45 minutes with Basil Julian and Ron Gimblet at a new guy named Herb's first Hash run this afternoon from Allsopp Park.

Ghetto Cat Loop/34th Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:53. This evening, beginning at 8:30, I walked and jogged the 34th Street Loop in 37:28, with splits of 13:03, 12:13, and 12:12. I jogged for a total of 14 minutes.

Levy Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Loop this morning in 27:46, and this evening, beginning at 9 o'clock, felt as good as I ever do as I jogged the Orange Street Loop in 32:06, with splits of 10:47, 10:47, and 10:32. That is, by the way, an 8:54:36 50-mile pace.

38th Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop

This morning I did the sort of interval session I used in the early stages of my '08-09 campaign. All on the two-mile 38th Street Loop, I walked and jogged a half-mile warmup, alternated one-minute runs with one-minute walks for a mile, and then walked and jogged the half-mile in. I finished in 23:47, with splits of 12:05 and 11:42. I covered the interval mile in 10:53, during which I ran six times; guessing, I'd say I averaged a little under eight minutes a mile on those runs. I felt great, but no more than OK as I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop late this afternoon in 31:50. It was 99°F when I finished at 5:30 p.m.

Maple Street Loop/Levy Loop

Most of my readers won't care about this, particularly not the Russians or Brazilians, but I made a slight change to the Maple Street Loop this morning. I inserted a zag through a tiny subdivision off 38th Street that changed the finish—heretofore nearly a a tenth of a mile past my house—to my driveway, and then walked it in 30:06. My legs were deader than sales of Batman movie tickets in Aurora, Colo., but felt a bit better this evening when I walked the Levy Loop in 31:24.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:34, and starting at 9 p.m. jogged the Orange Street Loop in 33:00 (32:59.57), with splits of 10:59, 11:02, and 10:59. I felt OK, might've had a minute and a half up my sleeve. I'm pleased to have completed my longest non-stop run in several months.

OVERHEARD
"The Irish don't dance. We hold each other up."
—golf commentator David Feherty

Levy Loop/38th Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 28:00.06, and, starting at about 8:45 p.m., walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop in 25:09. I think I jogged for a total of nine minutes. I don't know why, but I have throughout my running life, since I was in the ninth grade, felt better running at night. I don't think it has anything to do with the weather, because it holds true no matter the season. I don't know.

Hash

I walked and jogged for 51:30 up from Burns Park to Fort Roots and back on a Hash run set by a new fellow named Chuck. I didn't realize until about half way through how worn out I am from thirty hours in front of the television watching the Open Championship.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this evening in 1:08:56.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the jogged the Chandler Street Loop this afternoon in 41:03. It was 108°F when I started, a record high for today in Levy. I felt fine.

Sweetheart Loop

The temperature in Levy was 104°F when I walked the Sweetheart Loop this afternoon. It took me 47:55.

Levy Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Loop this morning in 25:57.

OVERHEARD
"And Rabbit, my caddie back then, said, 'Laddie, Ray Charles could win it from here.' "
—Gary Player, reporting on the Golf Channel what his caddie said to him when he asked whether or not he could win from the 18th fairway at some long-ago British Open. He hadn't been looking at the scoreboard, so didn't know he held a five-stroke lead

Park Hill Loop

I jogged for a total of seven minutes, and otherwise walked the Park Hill Loop in 1:09:30 this afternoon, when it was hotter than two motherfuckers. It was 98°F when I started.

I'M CALLING BULLSHIT...
...on the Arm&Hammer® cat litter people for claiming that "less than two percent of lost cats make it home." They're trying to sell ID tags

Hash/Chandler Street Loop

I was out for 44:06 with BJ and Eamon (Petra's boyfriend) on Petra's Hash run by Rebsamen Park Golf Course yesterday, and this morning walked and jogged the Chandler Street Loop in 40:38.

38th Street Loop/Midnight 50K

I walked the 38th Street Loop with Erin Vratil on Friday morning in 33:03, and walked and jogged the Midnight 25K in 3:44:57 on Saturday night. This morning Erin and I walked the 47th Street Loop. Counting a walk over to Kroger for rib fixings, I was out for 54:12.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:44.

Levy Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop early this afternoon in 30:12, and this evening walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 41:45.

Schaer Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Schaer Street Loop this evening in 1:02:54, before I watched the National League beat the food out of the American League in the All-Star Game. The Reds will get home park for the World Series, provided they win another sixty games or so.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this evening in 46:34.

Emerson Drive Loop/Hash

I set a Hash run this morning in 14:17. That's how long it took me to walk and jog the one-mile Emerson Drive Loop while spreading anthrax with a broomstick and a twenty-five-year-old coffee can. The second lap took me 15:35.

A very skinny Air Force pilot won the Firecracker Fast 5,280 Feet in 5:41. Lacey won the women's division in 8:30. Hashers ate forty hot dogs.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this evening in 46:13.

OVERHEARD
"I can't control winning. I can just do my best."
—Na Yeon

"I like to use kosher salt, because I don't like the taste of the iodine in regular table salt."
—some dipshit motherfucker on YouTube lying that he can distinguish the flavor of iodine on grains of salt, on grains of fucking salt. Iodine. He doesn't like the taste of it. "OK. Who put the iodine on this popcorn?" The Internet is doomed

Gimblett Street Loop

Rain ran through this afternoon and the temperature dropped from 105°F to 85. I put on a couple of sweaters and gloves and walked the Gimblett Street Loop in 1:15:29.

Chandler Street Loop/Louisiana Downs

I walked and jogged the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 40:05. This afternoon, on my annual trip to Louisiana Downs with Tim Cooper, I won a net of $104.40, enough to cover the expenses of the Firecracker Fast 5,280 Feet this Sunday for the Hash (of course, I understand that if I'd never gone to a horse race in the first place, I could use the money I've lost to pay for a lifetime of Hash runs. I could serve sturgeon from the fucking Caspian Sea at each of them, and tuna from the coast of Thailand; I could pay to have the Dixie Chicks show up and fuck everybody; hell, I could build a Milwaukee's Best brewery next door to my house).

Orange Street Loop

Late in the afternoon of February 4, 2009, on my fiftieth birthday, I found a penny while walking the Levy Loop, and decided to start saving them. This morning, three years and five months later, I found a penny as I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 40:26, and consequently there are now exactly one dollar in pennies in my Hamm's ashtray.

38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop at lunchtime in 27:02. It's officially 97°F in North Little Rock, but the thermometer on my front porch reports that it's 99. The good news is that there's very little humidity and a c. ten mile-an-hour breeze blowing.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this evening in 1:07:26.

Crow Mountain

RUSSELLVILLE, Ark.—I jogged for six minutes and walked for 24:07 this morning to cover a little over two miles from Crutch and Amy Aikman's house on Crow Mountain. Crutch and I walked forever this afternoon at Pinnacle Country Club in Rogers. Na Yeon Choi signed one of my hats.