35th Street Loop/Chandler Street Loop

Man, I wish I was movin' down Corpus way. It's 33°F in Levy and the wind is blowing harder than two motherfuckers. Nevertheless, I walked the 35th Street Loop this morning in 56:34, or an 11:47:05 fifty-mile pace, w/ splits of 14:23, 14:17, 14:06, and 13:48. This evening I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 45:41.

Burns Park Loop/First Tee/Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:36:12, with splits of 30:04, 34:21, and 33:47, and was joined by the whole gang, all five of them. I then played six holes at First Tee in +13, with 2 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 pentagonal (on No. 2). I used 12 putts. This evening I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 29:40.

Burns Park Loop/Levy Trail 5K

I led the charge this morning, as Bill Brass, Ron & Elaine Gimblett, Bob McKinney, and Yvette Thompson followed for a lap of the Burns Park Loop in 1:34:02. That might have been the last time I will be allowed to lead. Our splits were 28:18,  33:11 (1:01:28), and 34:23 (1:07:34).

This wasn't a time trial. It was hard, but if my life or a roll on a rug with Ellen Page had been on the line, I'm confidant I could've gone at least a minute faster. I ran the first Levy Trail 5K this evening in 29:01, with splits of 58 (for the first 188 yards, or one tenth of a mile plus twelve yards), 9:34, 9:41, and 8:48. I'm pleased.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next motherfucker who says, "...the American people." I don't know who first justified using those three words in place of one as perfectly synonymous as the nearly forgotten "Americans." Obviously I don't know, though I imagine it was a speech writer. Perhaps he or she thought it sounded more authoritative, or simply rung better. I also of course don't know who first said it, but presidents since at least Franklin Roosevelt have said "the American People" and in so doing have sounded as though they were speaking to subjects rather than peers, and I know that many of us now say it, or write it, and that it's time to stop. It almost makes me miss the contemptible Nixon, who at least had the grace to say, "My fellow Americans..." Imagine that. Imagine our last few presidents, or the next, saying, "Here are the things my fellow Americans and I need..."

Ridge Road Loop/Hayes Senior Center/Maple Street Loop

I walked the four-mile Ridge Road Loop through an intermittent drizzle this morning in 57:34, and swam a little bit at the Senior Center this afternoon. I did a 100-yard warmup, swam 5X50 yards in 1:00.1, 58.5, 59.3, 1:01.0, and 1:01.5, with a 30-second interval, and swam 50 yards for a warmdown. Tonight I walked the Maple Street Loop in 29:57.

OVERHEARD
"ICE CREAM! CHERRY ICE CREAM! GET YOUR CHERRY ICE CREAM!
—vendor at a Cactus League game between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Chicago Cubs on mlb.tv

Burns Park Loop/Hash

A thought I had yesterday was supported this morning by my walk and jog of the Burns Park Loop. I went very easily, had tons left, and finished in 1:23:38, which is my fourth best time.* And that came the day after doing ten miles faster than I have in over three years. I truly think that that fifty-mile race helped my fitness, which may say something about the benefit of long runs for long-distance runners. On the other hand, who the fuck knows? Besides, long runs suck unless there are lots of food and pretty women around, and someone willing to go buy you a twelve-pack of Milwaukee's Best Light®.

My splits were 25:19, 30:17 (55:36), and 28:03 (58:20).

This afternoon I ran Hash from an odd spur of Alsopp Park. It was Succulent White Meat's run. I was out for 44:40, ran probably seventy-five percent of the time, so covered a bit over three miles.

*I have traveled the loop by myself thirteen times. I don't believe any of my laps with the Geezer Crew have been completed faster than an hour and forty minutes. If I counted those, I've probably done the loop close to twenty-five times

Park Hill-33rd Street Loops/First Tee

I walked and jogged the Park Hill-33rd Street Loops this morning in 2:11:54. I hit the ten, one-mile splits in 12:12, 13:28, 12:42, 13:45, 12:36 (Park Hill in 1:04:43), 13:43, 13:25, 13:30, 13:27, and 13:06 (33rd Street in 1:07:11). My precise mile average—according to my Timex®—was 13:11.46, which is exactly a 10:59:33.00 fifty-mile pace.

This afternoon I played First Tee from the middle in 48, with 3 pars, 3 bogies, and 3 triples. I used 15 putts, with 5 one-putts, 2 two-putts, and 2-three putts.

OVERHEARD
"We just tryin' to find some trouble without gettin' in no trouble."
—man on he cellular at Kroger and shit

Levy Trail/Maple Street Loop

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 31:40, and this evening walked the Maple Street Loop in 30:04.

After Mother and I ate lunch today, I drove by McDonald's to buy Mom's friend Bubba a quarter-pound cheeseburger. It cost, with tax, $3.78. Heck, I have become my parents. I remember when quarter-pounders cost ninety-nine cents, back in the mid-70's, back when mom and dad still talked about nickel matinees.

Hayes Senior Center/Levy Trail

I walked two miles in 27:42 this morning around the Hayes Senior Center track. We didn't get ice. It's still raining very cold water. This evening I walked and jogged a little over three miles, mostly on the paved and lighted section of the Levy Trail, in 40:07.

Orange Street Loop/Cook's Landing

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop yesterday afternoon in 41:50, and this morning walked about an hour with Ron and Elaine, Bob McKinney, Bill Brass, and Sandy Venable. We would've gone further, but it started raining, which sucks when it's 34°F. We might have an ice storm tonight.

Levy Loop/Oaklawn Park

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:51, drove to Uncle Jim's funeral in Russellville, and back to Little Rock to pick up Tom Zaloudek for a trip to Oaklawn Park for the Southwest States. Super Ninety Nine won and might be the Kentucky Derby favorite by tomorrow morning. There's a jockey named Rosie Napravnik who road the second finisher and who might become famous. Maybe. She's good, and smart, and the best looking, cutest red-headed women I think I have seen. I'd marry her, just on the chance. On the other hand, I suck as a gambler. I lost $35.20 today. I'm down, after six trips, $63.30. Tom got crushed today, too. What's odd is, I had about as much fun as I ever have. Tom had a hoot, too. I can't explain it.

Hash

I jogged and walked for 39:44 with the Little Hash this afternoon and probably covered about 2.7 miles. It was Whole Come's run. It began and ended at her and her wife Bridgett's house near Pizza D'Action. I had the most fun I've had since the Super Bowl.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this afternoon in 45:29.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:18.

Two Rivers Park/Oaklawn Park

I walked slowly with Ron and Elaine, and Bob McKinney this morning for 1:02:55 into Two Rivers Park and along the River Trail. We might not have gone as far as three miles. It is beautiful out, and a perfect day for a trip to Oaklawn Park, where I was close throughout the card. They don't pay for close. I lost $21.40, to fall behind $28.10 after five trips.

Cook's Landing

I walked about six miles this morning from Cook's Landing on the River Trail way out past the Burns Park dog area, near the golf courses, and back in 1:47:41. Joining me were Bill Brass, Ron and Elaine, Bob McKinney, Yvette Thompson, and Sandy Venable.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 40:59. That's an 11:23:03.3 fifty-mile pace, my goal for the 2014 Rocky Raccoon 50 Mile Trail Race.

Maple Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 27:31. I am observing Clean Monday of the Eastern Catholic Church, and therefore will begin an observance of Lent today. I will each day, as minimums, maintain a 500 calorie deficit, make one entry in my diary, and read for one hour.

Hash

I walked and jogged for 37:05 with the Little Rock Hash this afternoon on a run set by John Krillenberger (Pinnocchiho).

River Trail

I walked and jogged six miles on the River Trail this morning, out and back from the Big Dam Bridge, in 1:23:18.

Oaklawn Park/Orange Street Loop

HOT SPRINGS—I lost $6.30 at Oaklawn Park this afternoon, to fall behind $6.70 after four trips, and walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this evening in 39:08. My feet are nearly back to normal.

Ridge Road Loop

I walked and jogged the four-mile Ridge Road Loop this morning in 55:19.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:40.

Hardcastle Loop

I walked the three-mile Hardcastle Loop tonight in 47:54. My feet hurt.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 31:47, and was saddened to learn a bit later that the thoroughbred Rockamundo died on Jan. 18. He was 23.

Ed White Elementary

EL LAGO, Texas—I walked two miles at the Ed White Elementary School track this afternoon in 32:26. My feet hurt a little.

Rocky Raccoon 50

HUNTSVILLE, Texas—I walked and jogged fifty miles Saturday morning, afternoon, and evening in 16:23:25 in the Rocky Raccoon 50/100. I was hindered on the last of three, 16.67-mile loops by a dim head lamp, calluses on my feet that were nearly on fire, and a butt thing that made me feel as though I had been cornholed by a small cactus. I'm home with the Vratils, and am toast. I expect to be toast for at least a couple of days. Erin, by the way, finished in roughly ten hours, thirty-five minutes. Chris gets full credit for worrying about me, and trying to figure out where the fuck I was. I averaged almost exactly 19:40 a mile.

Seabrook

SEABROOK, Texas—I walked for a little over thirty-eight minutes this morning.