38th Street Loop/Levy Trail

Man, I don't know this for a fact, but I gotta figure they have some serious infrastructural problems down along the Gulf Coast. The eye of Hurricane Isaac just passed directly over Levy, and we have no damage whatsoever; I mean, none, unless you call garbage cans blown into the street damage. I stepped into the eye this morning to walk and jog the 38th Street Loop in 25:09. Apparently our levees held just fine.

On the other hand, Tropical Depression Isaac has turned Levy into the tropics. There was a heat index of 1,000,006°F as I walked 5.2 miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 1:21:56.

OVERHEARD
"One of the great privileges of my life, and of Bob's life, was to really know Johnny Carson well. And Johnny told me on more than one occasion, including about two months before he died, in a very raspy phone call, that Bob Uecker was the most original humorist he had ever known, that it all came from Bob's gut, from Bob's soul. He was not surrounded by an army of writers. He was, legitimately, in Johnny's mind, the funniest man he ever knew."
—former NBC executive Dick Ebersol, speaking at a ceremony in Milwaukee celebrating Bob Uecker, the long-time voice of the Brewers

Hays Senior Center

With Hurricane Isaac churning through, I took advantage of my new membership at the Patrick Henry Hays Senior Citizens Center and walked for two miles around its indoor track this afternoon in 28:34. I can't wait to show off this place to my readers. It's the nicest gym I have seen. My favorite part is that it has two pools, one for aerobics, the other strictly for lap swimming. It has about thirty treadmills, three or four of which were being used when I was there. It is next to the Lahman Library, across the street from the North Little Rock High track, exactly 1.5 miles from my driveway on the Levy Trail. My membership costs $25 a year. I wish I would've known about it the day I turned fifty. Heck, I'll be glad when I turn seventy-five or eighty, when I'll think the place is packed with good-looking fifty-year-olds.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:06:58, wondering the whole while where I put my snorkel, and whether anyone will ever use a word other than "remnants" when referring to the remains or residue of a hurricane.

Levy Trail/Levy Trail

I walked about two miles on the Levy Trail through downtown Levy toward North Little Rock High and back this morning in 31:38, and this afternoon took essentially the same walk, except I Google Earthed it beforehand, so consequently walked exactly two miles in 29:55.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the producer at the Weather Channel who next airs someone from the Gulf Coast saying, "We're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst," or the equivalent

North Little Rock High/Levy Loop

It felt much more like August this morning than it did the last time I did intervals. I ran 4X600 meters with a four-minute, 400-meter walk interval, in 3:21.7, 3:17.7, 3:15.0, and 3:20.2. The last one hurt a bit. A 3:22.5 is a nine-minute/mile pace, and my goal was to do them in an average of that and feel more comfortable than I did. The insides of my upper thighs were a little sore from last evening's beer mile.

This evening I walked and jogged through a vegetable steamer heretofore known as the Levy Loop in 28:07.

Maple Street Loop/Hash/Beer mile

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 25:43, and felt fine. In fact, if my legs were Jesus, today would be Easter.

Someone who identified herself as Chris and Erin left a message on my phone a month or so ago asking how fast I thought I could do a beer mile, or how fast I thought she could do one, or something like that. I didn't know she they meant. I didn't know what a beer mile was. Now I do. I did one this evening with the Little Rock Hash in 15:21. I'm not sure if this is universal, but here we drank a can of beer, ran a quarter, drank a beer, ran a quarter, drank a beer, ran a quarter, drank a beer, and ran a quarter. My splits for the beers were 57, 1:36, 2:06, and 3:14. My splits for the quarters were 2:01, 1:59, 2:05, and 1:44. The last beer was a struggle, but, overall, I was pleased, particularly to have run the mile under eight minutes. I need to work on the drinking.

Tom Zaloudek and I warmed up by walking and jogging about two and a half miles in 32 minutes.

River Trail-Big Dam Bridge

I walked 3.2 miles on the River Trail and Big Dam Bridge this morning in 50:19. My legs are deader than the Houston Astros' playoff hopes, at least as dead as Neil Armstrong, and sore.

According to Google Earth, which I must assume is nearly as accurate as the odometer on my Camry, it is exactly 0.80 miles from one end of the Big Dam Bridge to the other.

Someone has painted a new message on the Big Dam Bridge, which if read from top to bottom*, says, "TRAFFIC MERGING TO YIELD." Yield of what, I wonder? And shouldn't that be "...into yield."? Whatever, it makes about as much sense as the original messages, "NOW DOWN SLOW BIKERS," and "RIGHT STAY WALKERS."

Here are how these messages appear, with one word on each line:

RETARDS

FUCKING

YOU

TRAFFIC

MERGING

TO

YIELD

*the only way in which any culture in the recorded history of mankind has printed its language, except apparently for the Little Rock Parks and Recreation Department


OVERHEARD

"There that bitch. She way over at the meat section."
—fellow shopper at Kroger

"It's time to get famous. It's time to get famous on they ass."
—Cincinnati second baseman Brandon Philips after his seventh-inning home run against the St. Louis Cardinals on Saturday

"Elsbury thought for sure he might've been able to score."
—Kansas City Royals' announcer late in the Kansas City-Boston game Saturday night

"I think she's just rude. I mean, every time she comes walking in, she has a big scowl on her face."
—a woman jogger

"Well, you know, if I don't have my hearing aid on, they could be shouting and I still wouldn't have any idea what they were saying."
—old man on a recumbent bicycle to a younger man on a regular bike

Levy Trail

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 45:30.

North Little Rock High/Levy Loop Classic/Orange Street Loop

This morning I was on the North Little Rock High track for the first time in two and a half years. Crazy. I did 2-X-4-X-200 meters, with two minutes between the 200s, and four minutes between the sets. I ran them in 60.7, 57.9, 57.6, 58.2, and 57.2, 56.4, 58.3, and 60.0. I finished far from exhausted, but these intervals did take some work. For instance, the four-minute interval between sets was improvised. My long-term plan is to increase these sessions by two 200s each month through December, when I'll be at sixteen. But I would put the odds at 8/1 against my doing sixteen 200s before New Year's Day, and 4/1 against my ever doing that many.

On the other hand, I probably would've put the odds against my ever doing three-a-days again at at least 5/2, but did indeed do them today after walking Levy Loop Classic this afternoon in 31:38, and jogging the Orange Street Loop tonight in 31:35, with splits of 10:47, 10:28, and 10:19.

Levy Loop/First Tee

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 29:51, and this morning and early afternoon played nine holes at First Tee from the back tees in 57, with 1 bogie, 5 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple. I sucked.

Levy Trail

I walked 5.2 miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon, from my house to Camp Robinson and back, in 1:20:16.

Maple Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:32, and this evening jogged the Orange Street Loop in 32:33, with splits of 10:50, 10:59, and 10:44. It was cool and very dry this evening. My hope was to finish the run feeling as if I could've continued for a while, and it was met. In fact, the last mile felt wonderful. My clothes were almost dry when I finished.

Park Hill Loop/38th Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Park Hill Loop last evening in 1:17:30, and the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:06. This evening I walked for thirty minutes though Burns Park with Basil Julian on Ron and Elaine Gimblet's Hash Run.

OVERHEARD
"OK, I'll take your shorts."
—homeless woman from the yard of an abandoned house on 38th Street, referring to my neon-green, plaid golf shorts, after I told her I had no money with me

38th Street Loop/First Tee

I walked the 38th Street Loop in 30:12 this morning, and played nine holes at First Tee this afternoon in 48, with 3 pars, 3 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 pentagonal. I used 16 putts. I played the last four holes with Steve Grace, Bill Zhang, and Jung Kim.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:09, and this evening jogged the Orange Street Loop in 31:49, with splits of 10:49, 10:30, and 10:30.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:03:12.

Maple Street Loop/First Tee

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:10, and played First Tee this morning and afternoon in 97, with nines of 47 and 50. I had 1 par, 10 bogies, 6 doubles, 1 triple, and used 34 putts.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:21.

34th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the four-mile 34th Street Loop this evening in 50:38.

Levy Trail

I walked the 5.2 miles of the Levy Trail to Camp Robinson and back this morning in 1:18:49.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next motherfucker who calls the Kiawah Island Ocean Course a "daunting challenge"

First Tee/Chandler Street Loop

I played eighteen holes with Jeff Krupsaw at First Tee this morning and afternoon in 102, with nines of 56 and 46. I had 2 pars, 8 bogies, 3 doubles, 4 triples, 1 quadruple, and used 31 putts. I played golf the front nine, and a new game called Pete on the back. It involved no more than three-quarter swings with either a 3- or 7-wood for all shots over 100 yards. Consequently, I used only those two woods, three wedges, and a putter. Pete demands a solid short game.

Tonight, starting at 8:30, I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 47:55.

Maple Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:56, and ran it this evening, starting at about 8:30, in 19:34, with splits of 10:12 and 9:22. That's a 7:19:10 fifty-mile pace.

34th Street Loop intervals

I warmed up with a 12:25 mile, and tried to run hard in eight, one-minute bursts, with a one-minute walk interval, but after six, managed no more than very slow jogs. I felt awful. Afterward I walked for about a minute and then sat on a curb in the shade for about three minutes, then short cut home. I think I covered about 2.7 miles. I did the second mile in 11:13.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:43, and felt an ever so slight hint of fall. It's a hair cooler, and drier.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:16.

River Trail

I jogged and walked six miles on the River Trail this morning, out and back from the Big Dam Bridge, in 1:13:17, with splits between 11:50 and 12:44.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:07.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:33.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next motherfucker on televised Olympics coverage who says, "...years of age" instead of "...years old" as in, "He's twenty-five years of age"

Levy Loop Classic/34th Street Loop

Last night's drizzle has endured into this morning. I walked through it on Levy Loop Classic 31:17. I felt good jogging the 34th Street Loop tonight, but hypoglycemia struck in the last mile or so, and I got a bit wobbly. I meant to drink some grape juice before I started, but forgot. I finished in 32:28, with splits of 10:34, 10:41, and 11:13. My blood glucose was 51 mg/dl.

"It's been so long since it rained, it's kind'a nice to walk in it."
—Harley-Davidson owner from up Orange Street Hill, walking by the Chiropractic Clinic. He is the stereotype of a Harley guy—long gray hair tied up in a bandana, with a gray goatee and handle-bar mustache. He's lived a half-dozen houses from mine for ten years, and today was the first time I'd seen him smile or heard him speak

Orange Street intervals/Maple Street Loop

I did eight one-minute runs with a one-minute walk interval this morning on the Orange Street Loop. I walked and jogged the first mile, and most of the last mile. I completed the loop in 35:50, with splits of 12:44, 10:53, and 12:13. I pushed too hard on the runs. This evening, through a steady sprinkle, I walked the Maple Street Loop in 29:53.