38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop this morning in 32:02. My jogs lasted 1:32 and 1:52 and were limited to however long I could go without feeling so much as a hint of discomfort.
By the way, I played about nine holes of golf at War Memorial yesterday. I did not keep score. My swing is off, so I took about an hour and a half working on it (the course was wide open: I was one of three people on the first twelve holes).

OVERHEARD
"Fucking shit."
—a member of the Chicago Bears organization's response, clearly audible on channel 11.1 in Levy, to a holding call against the Bears in their Thursday Night Football game against the Green Bay Packers

Orange Street Loop/DFL

I walked the Orange Street Loop this afternoon in 48:28. It's hot.
Fuck fall.
It's cool to have a quarterback who plays for your DFL and NFL teams, particularly when he's as good as Aaron goddamn Rodgers. The motherfucker directed an improbable second-half comeback to put the DFL Green Bay Packers so far ahead that Yahoo gives the Turtle Creek Skins a one-percent chance of winning our game. The Skins have four players going on Monday Night Football but trail 118.56-39.49. The NFL Packers trailed the piece-of-shit Cincinnati Bengals 21-7 at halftime, but Rodgers played the entire second half by himself. No kidding. Watch the highlights. All the other Green Bay players and coaches stayed in the dressing room after halftime. The second half was nothing but a bunch of Bengals, eleven at a time, bowing to Rodgers as he single-handedly defeated them in overtime, 27-24.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says or writes anything about athletes' reactions to the national anthem

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South much earlier this evening in 33:17.

War Memorial Golf Course

I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning with Tim Biggs, John Czarnecki, and Tiny Tim in 94. Ed scored 88 and John 104. Tim quit after thirteen holes. I had nines of 43 and 51 and used 34 putts. It was hotter than two motherfuckers.

War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

Ed Pennington and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 95, with nines of 43 and 52, and Ed scored 88. I lost my scorecard and am unsure about my putt count. It wasn't particularly good.
The DFL Green Bay Packers went to 2-0 with a 106.54-73.15 victory over Trojan Men. The NFL Packers dropped to 1-1 with a 34-23 loss to the goddamn Atlanta Falcons.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this afternoon in 31:56.
Speaking of Ghetto Cats, Jo is currently in a place and position that has only recently become somewhat common to her. She is perched in the classic cat pose to my side on the right arm of my maroon recliner. You know, seated with vertically straight front legs. It appears she's watching football with me.
By the way, I began to routinely sit in the maroon chair rather than on the right side of my couch about a year ago, thus breaking a fourteen-year-old habit.

War Memorial Golf Course

We're lucky eggs are not as fragile as my golf swing. If they were, this world would be populated by single-cell organisms and nothing the fuck else. I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning with John Czarnecki in 109. John scored 107. I used 40 putts.

Burns Park Loop

Someone has once again lengthened the Burns Park Loop. The trail from the parking lot no longer goes directly toward I-40. It instead winds all the fuck over the place before it connects to the former trail near the top of the nearest ridge. GPS measurements say it's now about six miles long, up from former estimates of approximately 5.6. I question the current estimate—at least relative to the former—since it took us nearly eleven minutes longer than usual to get to the wooden bridge.
Several other Geezers and I walked the new version this morning in 1:57:41.

River Trail/Rebsamen short-nine

I walked 4.75 miles this morning with the Geezers from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot. Sandy Venable and Ron and Elaine Gimblet joined me. We were on the River Trail most of the way, though we did make a big fucking loop around the soccer fields and dog park.
It seems like I have said and written that I would never again play the Rebsamen short-nine, but I was out there chipping and putting when John Czarnecki and Gil showed up, so to maintain my long tradition of lying like two motherfuckers, I played and scored 40, with 2 pars, 6 bogies, and 1 double. I used 15 putts. It was a great chipping day for me.

Levy Trail South/DFL

At 5:33 p.m., it's overcast, windy, and 63°F. I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 31:26.
The fantasy Green Bay Packers began its 21st Democrat Football League season with a 125.71-94.08 victory over the Kruptilians, owned by Jeff Krupsaw's son, Daniel. We ended the first week in first place over the other thirteen DFL teams.
The NFL Packers defeated the Seattle C-Wordhawks, 17-9. If anyone ever talks to Heidi Whateverherlastnameisnow'Icannotremember, please tell her that her expression on Buttbook with her Packers partner epitomizes the sort of feelings that Packers owners wish for all people associated with the professional football team from Seattle

Levi Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:21. This evening I will report on a football game from Henderson State for the first time since 2008. The Reddies will host the Arkansas Tech Wonder Boys. Apparently, I will get to cover my old state-college beat when UCA doesn't play at home, which pleases me greatly. I love going to NCAA Division II games in Arkansas.

I PLAN TO STAB...
the next person who says or writes, "...ghost town"

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Tim Biggs, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 96, with nines of 48 and 48. Tim scored 110 and John 113. I had 3 pars, 5 bogies, 5 doubles, 4 triples, and 1 pentagonal, and I used 38 putts. Two weeks ago, I scored 76 on the same motherfucker. I only hit one bad shot the entire round that day. No kidding, I missed one putt inside five feet. It was a nearly perfect round for me, maybe the best I have ever played, and virtually unrepeatable.

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 98, Ed 91, and John 100. I had 2 pars, 6 bogies, 7 doubles, 1 quadruple, and 2 pentagonals. I used 38 putts.

Hurricane Irma

KEY WEST, Fla.—Hurricane Irma, a dangerous Category 5 storm containing the most powerful winds ever recorded in the Atlantic Ocean, is ravaging the Caribbean and will destroy most of the northern hemisphere, forecasters say.

The small islands of the northern Leewards, including Antigua and Barbuda, as well as the Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, Hispañola, the Bahamas, and Cuba were on the verge of rolling into one and beginning a sweep across a swath of the U.S. from New Mexico to Maine which, sustained by winds that reached the speed of light on Tuesday, would kill no fewer than a billion people.

"The good news is that everyone probably has enough stuff at their houses as I speak," FEMA director Rockamundo said. "I mean, by halftime of the Thursday night NFL game, almost everyone east of Oklahoma will consider themselves lucky so long as they're dead."

Experts say complete recovery could take a trillion years.

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#Irma is the strongest #hurricane in the Atlantic basin outside of the Caribbean Sea & Gulf of Mexico in NHC records http://hurricanes.gov 

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Hindman Park Golf Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning. I scored a 106, with nines of 50 and 56. Ed scored 106 and John 117.