Kittensmacker

WILLIAMS JUNCTION, Ark.—I started, but was unwilling to finish. Instead, I walked, climbed, and jogged out for an hour, and then spent 59:49 coming back on a very hard, approximately seven-mile course. It rained all the way, and as hard as it ever rains for half an hour or so. My goal became to come back faster then I went out, and I met it only because I intersected the course of a man named Dane Justice with about a mile to go. He unwittingly helped push me.

Levy Loop

It looks as if I will make it through a third consecutive day of an open front door and windows. The highs have not surpassed 75°F, and there has been very little sunshine. That's an amazing streak to come this late in May. This morning I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 25:13. My knee was pain free, only a little stiff for the first couple of minutes. I am determined to attempt the Kittensmacker in the morning, so long as I'm willing and able to get out of bed in time. It's approximately 12 miles long, on an audaciously rolling course, with lots of long, steep hills. I finished it in 3:10 last year. This year I hope to start.

38th Street Loop

OK, I'm at least 95% of the way back to good right-knee health. I jogged a total of 16:13 to complete the 38th Street Loop this evening in 26:13. I forgot to time the first mile.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next store clerk who says as I walk through the front door anything like, "Hi, welcome to Family Dollar"

Levy Trail

After I realized this morning I could not straighten my right knee without pain, and subsequently turned to the Internet, I diagnosed my injury as one involving the lateral meniscus (a bundle of cartilage which runs along the outside of knees), and toyed all day with comfortable ways to move forward on my feet. I can walk between 20-25-minute miles, and jog 12-14. It's almost painless to jog. The walking hurts a bit more. That didn't surprise me, since I have known for years that one of the two ways by which track judges distinguish walking from running is that walkers' legs completely straighten. This evening I walked and jogged two miles on the Levy Trail in 33:27, with splits of 17:33, and 15:54. My diagnosis is probably incorrect, of course. Regardless, my prognosis is that I won't need to visit Dr. Nix. My knee felt better after I got out of bed this morning than it did the day before. I'm curious about tomorrow.

Levy Trail

My latest Pam's Boy prediction was inaccurate. My right knee is still stiff and painful. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 34:41. I limped a little. I don't know what I've done. My morning walk yesterday felt fine. I sat on my couch for half an hour or so afterward, and noticed the pain when I stood. I thought at first I had just sat with it in an odd position. Now I don't know. I'll give it a couple of days, with Dr. Richard Nix as my fallback.

Levy Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:12, and the Levy Trail this evening in 34:55. My right knee has hurt a bit since this morning, and was stiff throughout my evening walk. It will be fine tomorrow, I predict.

BY THE NUMBERS
7  years ago that Jo was born, under a table, in a trailer, in rural southeastern Missouri (she and I agree that it seems more like 49 years ago)
5  people I passed on the trail this evening, including three dog-walkers, one biker, and one walker. Each smiled and said hello, and were I believe in worse physical condition than I
1  pennies found on my walk this morning
1  cheeseburgers grilled before 8 a.m. on Orange Street (I'm unsure of this. There could have been more than one grilled)
0  vehicles which drove by me at any point, including 47th Street

OVERHEARD
"Jesus."
—old man on Maple Street this morning after he broke the flagstick of an American flag he was trying to inbed in his front yard. I remembered in a burst of patriotism that had all those soldiers not risked their lives for us, I could've stoned the man to death for blasphemy

Hash

I arrived late to Hash this afternoon and walked about two miles by myself. I was out for 35:47. We started and finished at the Rebsamen Tennis Center.

Conway

CONWAY, Ark.—I walked for 1:02:37 around the University of Central Arkansas campus at lunchtime today, before I watched UCA lose 9-4 to Southeastern Louisiana in the championship game of the Southland Conference Baseball Tournament. It disappointed me to not see BJ there.

Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Trail from here to Camp Robinson and back in 1:18:08. It's hot today.

Burns Park Loop/Burns Park Loop/Orange Street Loop/Orange Street Loop/Levy Trail

I walked and jogged the Burns Park Loop on Sunday morning in 1:27:21, and again on Monday morning in 1:28:33. I walked the Orange Street Loop on Tuesday morning 44:56, and walked and jogged it on Wednesday morning in 41:24. This morning I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 30:41. This afternoon I picked up my newest laptop at a computer fixit place downtown, and dropped off the older, white one. The newer one was in the shop last Saturday when my old one failed to light up. It's an odd thing to go nearly five days without a computer.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail tonight in 30:35. It's cold. I think our high today was 58°F. I can't tell you how much I preferred global warming to climate change. Fuck, I wish we could get back to global warming, where it's 96 on May 17, or 80 in February. And where ice storms don't break windshields on my cars two years in a row. I'm going to walk everywhere I go from this point forward, and stab anyone who doesn't.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "These tacos aren't going to eat themselves," or, "This house isn't going to clean itself," or, you know, et al.

Hardcastle Loop

I walked the Hardcastle Loop this morning in 44:40, and felt fantastic. It's sunny and bone dry out, and, guessing, maybe 65°F.

Ridge Road Loop/Burns Park Loop

I walked the Ridge Road Loop last night in 58:21. This morning I walked and jogged the Burns Park Loop in 1:20:53.

Ridge Road Loop

It rained here most of the day. Now it's very cool, perfect for running. I jogged and walked the 35th Street Loop tonight in 52:18, with splits of 13:12, 13:40, 13:01, and 12:25.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:32.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:13.

Great Cross Country Race

Hashers with GPS watches said I walked between 3.2 and 3.3 miles setting the Great Cross Country Race this morning. It took me about an hour and a half. Thirty-seven people ran, and it was fun-packed group, with about twenty non-Little Rock Hashers. Greg Eason, or Cracked Pipe, won in 30:37. A new Hasher woman named Trisha finished first among women in 32:48.

Boyle Park

I spent 1:38:36 scouting the Great Cross Country Race this afternoon in Boyle Park. I probably walked about five and a half miles. I'm not sure how long the run will be tomorrow morning, but about four miles. It will include at least a mile of new trails, I think.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 31:38.

It seemed odd how much Mayflower stood out even in the dark as I drove home tonight. I felt no desire to go stare at poor Vilonia. BJ called this morning to discuss Saturday's Great Cross Country Race, and we sifted through a handful of tornado scenarios. Among them was one in which we walked into the Mayflower mayor's office and said, "Good god, man, didn't anyone tell you fuckers the president of the goddamn United States was coming yesterday? I mean, it doesn't look like you've made even the slightest attempt to clean up this fucking mess." There was another where BJ eats lunch at a Mayflower restaurant and starts bitching about how all the heavy equipment is slowing down his commute to work.

OVERHEARD
"He don't have a car seat! Hurry, someone call the law!"
—woman in her front yard, with half a dozen others, as a man drove away from the house in an old pickup truck with a five-year-old boy in his right arm. As I approached, I overhead him say, "Fuck you. He's my son, and you ain't got nothing to say about it." This stood for me as a perfect example of our neighborhood's cultural diversity; those people live exactly seven houses and one chiropractic clinic away from a man who has read every published word written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ian McEwan, Richard Ford, Richard Russo, et al.

Ouachita Trail

I walked and jogged from where the Ouachita Trail turns off of Arkansas 300 to the Scenic Vista and back in 2:50:58. According to the OT Website, that's 9.8 miles. I felt kind of crappy most of the way out, but much better coming back. My splits were 1:28:19, and 1:22:39.

Morrilton

MORRILTON, Ark. — It occurred to me for the first time as I drove by Mayflower today en route to Morrilton to watch the Class 3A track championships that I had never before seen a town that had recently been destroyed by a tornado. Goddamn, man, it was fucking bizarre. They suspect it was an F4, or the next to strongest variety, and I'm telling you, it looked as if someone built a bulldozer roughly the size of three Astrodomes and drove it right across Mayflower, then across I-40 toward Vilonia. Huge trees, every tree, were down everywhere. All the houses and buildings were blown to bits. BJ told me Sunday that he couldn't see how anyone survived, and now I know what he meant. I'm going to Russellville to watch a meet on Thursday, and am considering a drive through Vilonia, though I might consider against. I'm still a little spooked over the sight of Mayflower. This afternoon, between prelims and finals at Devil Dog Stadium, I walked for 1:02:20 through completely unfamiliar neighborhoods, that ranged in a matter of a few blocks from shotgun shacks to the opposite. I saw lots of people I knew at the meet, and was entertained throughout.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:02:04, with splits of 12:04, 12:40, 12:10, 13:00, and 12:10, and felt great every step of the way. It could be because I had walked around most of the afternoon with $410 in my pants, from my Kentucky Derby triumph, and felt feather-light with the money tucked away elsewhere.

Levy Trail/Kentucky Derby

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 30:08.

I bet a total of $57 on the Kentucky Derby yesterday. Tomorrow, after visiting mom in Nashville, and dad in Hot Springs, I'll drive over to Oaklawn Park and cash two tickets worth a total of $410. I bet $20 to win on California Chrome, which paid $70. And I coupled California Chrome with Commanding Curve in a  $4 exacta box, which paid $340. I'm happy to have finally picked a Kentucky Derby winner. The Preakness is in two weeks, and I can't wait.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop, starting at about 8:15 this morning, in 29:47, and then drove to Oaklawn Park in Hot Springs, with John Kelley, to bet my selections from last night. I have not picked a Kentucky Derby winner since 2004, when Smarty Jones passed Lion Heart late. California Chrome is, I think, the first favorite I have picked since then, and I feel somewhat confident. I indeed believe that California Chrome has a chance to become one of the greats—like Secretariat, or Citation, a thoroughbred with a name familiar to almost everyone. Mostly, though, I hope for my long-shot selection to win. If Commanding Curve comes through, I think I'll finally be able to afford cat lessons for Samantha, and possibly a tall man to put in back seat of my Camry.

Levy Trail/38th Street Loop/Kentucky Derby

I jogged one of each five minutes to complete three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 43:18, and felt wonderful. My legs are ready to go, and I think my shoulder is almost golf ready. Late this afternoon I walked the 38th Street Loop in 34:30.

PETE THE WIZARD'S STONE COLD KENTUCKY DERBY LOCKS OF A LIFETIME AND SHIT

$20/win, No. 5 California Chrome — estimated return: $40

$5/win, No. 17 Command Curve — estimated return: $180

$2/exacta box, No. 5 w/ No. 17 — estimated return: either $190 or $520

$2/exacta box, No. 4 Danza w/ No. 5 — estimated return: either $40 or $60

$1 superfecta, No. 5 w/ No. 4 w/ No. 20 Wicked Strong, w/ No. 6 Samraat, No. 10 Wildcat Red, No. 13 Chitu, No. 15 Tapiture, No. 17, No. 19 Ride on Curlin — estimated return: $2,700-$9,000

$1 superfecta, No. 17, w/ No. 5, w/ No. 19, w/ No. 10 — estimated return: $200,006

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 32:22.