Levy Trail Loop/Alsopp Park

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 30:52.
This afternoon I walked for 1:06:36 on a Hash run set by Ron and Elaine Gimblet from Alsopp Park. Jayme brought hot Rebecca back for the first time since whenever, February I believe. I asked her if they were now dating. Jayme answered in a very round-about way but essentially said yes. She was pleased I asked.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this afternoon in 31:18.

Levy Trail/Ghetto Cat Loop

We geezers walked for an hour and four minutes on the Levy Trail this morning. I was in hurry to go watch and report on women playing golf so I forgot to put it in Pam's Boy.
This evening I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 32:20. Actually, I kind of short-cutted. This was the first time one tube of energy gel was not enough to overcome my hypoglycemia. I was kind of wobbly legged all the way as I walked home from about where the Dixie Pig used to be.

33rd Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the three-mile version of the 33rd Street Loop this afternoon in 41:39. It is currently 97°F in Levy, with a heat index of 105, about ten minutes after I walked inside.
By the way, when I walked the sub-29 two-mile loop two days ago, I realized that my $30 BCGs were half a size too large. So I went back to Sports Academy and bought smaller shoes, and they feel great. I wore them today. The slightly too large pair are now retired to everyday, wear-around-town status.

Levy Trail 5K/38th Street Loop

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Levy Trail 5K in 40:26. I went through three miles in 39:12, with splits of 13:03, 12:57, and 13:12.
The U.S. Open course looks pretty on TV, just like every other British Open course. I'm glad they stuck with the tradition of brown everywhere and lots of heather. It's time for the United States Golf Association to keep Mike Davis away from these, which should look like typical U.S. professional courses, only with ridiculously fast greens, narrow fairways, and thick, green, four-to-six inch rough. Fuck the bumpy greens and the incessant uneven lies that all the players are bitching about. They're fine with me. My complaint is that this current course looks as out of place as the John Deere Classic would if it were used next month at St. Andrews. Maybe the USGA should hire Alyssa Mastromonaco.
I got in from a blazing walk of the 38th Street Loop this afternoon in time to see J.B. Holmes tee off at 1-under. Among the legitimate contenders, I believe he's my choice, although if I had to bet, I'd bet on Spieth. As much as I disapprove of the course, I believe the last four holes are set up to provide a potential for an exciting finish. I walked the Loop in 28:45, with splits of 15:01 and 13:44, wearing the new shoes, which felt fine.

OVERHEARD
"Shit, dude, they payin you more than me."
—teenager on his cell phone near the Levy Church of Christ

Levy Trail Loop

The last time I held a pair of shoes directly responsible for an injury was in the fall of 1982. They were Onitsuka Tigers (now known as Asics). I ran easily and fast in them, but they hurt one of my knees in such a way that it took me six months to get over it. My verdict on these $30, great-feeling BCGs is still out, but before I went to bed last night noticed my left knee hurt in a way similar to thirty-three years ago. It still hurt this morning. Otherwise my legs felt fresh as I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:06 wearing a pair of those old baby-blue shoes I walked the 50-mile race in (which have held up for walking remarkably well. Both pairs still feel nice).

Levy Trail South

It's odd that my legs are as dead as they are. I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:51 and it wasn't easy.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "He's a good striker of the golf ball." This is kind of a repeat from several years ago, but I've heard it three times since last night

Chandler Street Loop

Here's how much deader than two motherfuckers my legs are. I alternated one-minute walks with five-minute jogs and took 44:37 to complete the Chandler Street Loop this afternoon. My splits were 13:44, 15:50, and 15:03.
By the way, I like how Chambers Bay looks on television and would love to play it some day. The greens are wild. Also, it's great that Fox is showing the U.S. Open during prime time on a Thursday night. It's 7:30, and I'm eating pizza and watching golf. That's a new combination for me.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:38 and walked into my house nearly soaking wet.
This evening I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Levy Loop in 26:10.
I am making another attempt with a pair of $29 running shoes. These are BCG Evades. I can't find that BCG stands for anything. Apparently it's a Sports Academy generic brand. I didn't realize until I read the shoe box and called up www.academy.com/bcg. They make all sorts of stuff, including running shoes. They felt the way I like running shoes to feel, and look like running shoes, too. I believe the soles will last a bit longer than those on the, what were they? Oh yeah. LA Gear, from two summers ago. We'll see.

OVERHEARD
"That's what we do, man! We play to the fucking end!"
—Cincinnati Reds third baseman Todd Frazier, to Cincinnati sideline announcer Jim Day, after he hit a grand slam to give the Reds an 8-4 victory over Detroit in the bottom of the 13th inning at 1:19 Eastern on Thursday morning

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail 5K

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 27:34.
This evening I walked the Levy Trail 5K in 48:08.

Levy Trail North/Maple Street Loop

I jogged for a total of 13:31 and otherwise walked Levy Trail North this morning in 26:31. Levy is muggier than two motherfuckers (on Jen Devine-Rosano's 45th birthday).
This evening I walked the Maple Street Loop in 29:55.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Do the murderers who escaped from the prison in upstate New York know where Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 is?

33rd Street Loop/Hash

On average I alternated 1:30 jogs with 3:30 walks to complete the 33rd Street Loop in 1:07:46, with splits of 13:34, 13:31, 13:49, 13:47, and 13:05, and felt good every step of the way. I might soon be ready for a real run. We'll see.
I walked with a combination of BJ, Reverend Bob, Tom Zaloudek, and Ron and Elaine Gimblet on our Hash run today set by Tony, or Comquistawhore. We were out for a little over 48 minutes.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
Is it littering to... 1) ...throw an empty energy-gel tube down a storm drain? or, 2) ...place an empty energy-gel tube under the lid of a fast-food cup that's already right in the middle of the street?

Maple Street Loop/Levy Trail South

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:38.
This evening I walked Levy Trail South in 35:23. My legs felt fine, but I was burdened throughout the final mile by hypoglycemia.

OVERHEARD
"You know better than that."
—80-year-old man, who looked exactly like Santa Claus, to his old chihuahua as he barked at Pete. The dog replied, "No I don't, dumbass. I'm a fucking chihuahua."

"I'm at, I don't even know what state, watching tennis. My kids are playing tennis."
—extremely sun-tanned man, dressed in black plaid shorts, a black polo shirt, and black leather penny loafers with no socks, after he answered a telephone call at the United States Tennis Association Southern Closed Boys and Girls 16s Championships at Rebsamen Tennis Center in Little Rock

"If you want to call golf an athletic activity, that's fine with me."
—caller to Garrison Keilor's radio show, after Keilor said, "So you're an athlete. You're going to watch tennis (the French Open) and then go play golf."

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail North

This isn't certain, of course, but it seems as if I made a good decision when I turned around about three minutes into an attempted walk last night. My legs were deader than John Nash, but felt much better this morning. I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 30:32.
This evening I walked Levy Trail North in 31:52.

Lakewood

We Geezers started this morning from Lakewood Lake No. 3 and were out for 1:35:32. I jogged six-tenths of a mile en route with Bill Brass.

Burns Park/Levy Trail South

We Geezers got about two thirds of the way through the Burns Park Loop this morning and then let Brass talk us into an alternate route that turned the distance we covered from the expected 5 or so miles to 6.3. We were out for 2:03:55.
I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 34:25.

Levy Trail North/Hash

I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime today in 34:01.
This afternoon I walked for 1:11:04 on a Hash run way out east in North Little Rock. Tom Zaloudek and I looked entirely out of place as we wandered across that part of town.
Materiality fell apart late after a long duel with American Pharoah yesterday in the Belmont Stakes and finished last in the field of eight. We consequently lost $20, but big deal. Pharoah won going away to win the Triple Crown.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 49:45. It's nice here on this Belmont Day morning.

PETE THE MAGICIAN'S BELMONT STAKES LOCK OF MORE LIFETIMES THAN FUCKING STEPHEN HAWKING COULD COUNT
Bet a $10 exacta box with American Pharoah (5) and Materiality (8). That's it. Pharoah over Materiality should return about $50 and the opposite about $125.

OVERHEARD
"I came to watch American Pharoah go for the 'quadruple crown.' "
—Rick Rainey (aka Fucks Like an Egyptian and Rick Manly Porn Star) at Oaklawn Park, where he later watched Pharoah win the Belmont and become the first horse to win racing's Triple Crown since Affirmed in 1978. Rick's comment, which Pete Perkins used in his lead for the paper, recognized Pharoah's victory in the Arkansas Derby

Burns Park Loop

I jogged for a total of seven minutes and otherwise walked the Burns Park Loop tonight in 1:13:44.
We'll go with American Pharoah tomorrow and most likely hope to score a minor chunk with Pharoah and Materiality, perhaps boxed in an exacta. This race will offer no chance for a ticket to board one of those Russian space ships.

Levy Trail

We geezers walked the Levy Trail this morning for 1:16:08.

Maumelle

The Geezers and I walked the trails of Maumelle from the lake this morning for 1:13:13.