Basketball Loop/Hays Senior Center/DFL

We walked the five-mile Basketball Loop at Burns Park this morning in 1:43:13. That would be a 17:12:10 fifty-mile pace. I was joined by Ron Gimblet, and Bob McKinney. I walked in a new pair of Asics DS Trainers (the seventeenth version of the shoe, and my fifth) and liked them quite a bit.

I swam 1000 yards at the Senior Center this afternoon in 26:00. It was easy.

On Thursday night the DFL's Russellmania III took a 13.12-7.00 lead over the Green Bay Packers. The Packers, who are roughly twenty-eight point favorites, remain confident of a crushing victory through Sunday and then Monday Night. Their ultimate hope is for victory over Russellmania combined with victory for Americanzi over the Complete Sellouts. Such would give the Packers their first-ever regular-season championship. The Packers' secondary and realistic hope is to defeat Russellmania, or, failing that, to not lose by more than 30.18 points. Either way they will remain in second place, and be assured of a bye into the playoff semifinals.

167

River Mountain Park-Two Rivers Park

We walked for a total of 2:00:39 this morning, first through River Mountain Park, and then Two Rivers Park. I was joined by Bill Brass, Bob McKinney, Ann Moore, and Sandy Venable. We covered just about six and a half miles.

OVERHEARD
"Hey, Pete! Congratulations, man!"
—local radio host David Bazzel at Gary Smith's Easy Runner today. He explained that someone told him I had been named to the Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame. I explained that I had not

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "No problem," in response to, "Thank you"

162

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this afternoon in 30:19. Everything felt fine.

156

35th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 35th Street Loop tonight in 47:04, with splits of 12:40, 12:04, 11:56, and 10:24. The callouses on my right foot have resealed. My knee has recovered to about 96.227 percent. My left big toe, out of the blue, began to hurt like two motherfuckers on the second of two round trips to and from Nashville today, but is fine now. It has regressed to an old-person thing. You'll know those someday.

OVERHEARD
"Have you considered not going twenty-three miles all at once?"
—Jane Perkins to her son Peter Perkins, after he complained about pain in his left big toe

154

Levy Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:25. My right knee feels as if someone hit it a little too hard with a ball peen hammer right on the cap. I guess that's what I get for limping on a raw foot for an hour and a half. It feels much better once I've walked for a minute or two. Getting up from the couch sucks.

The DFL Green Bay Packers have defeated Americanzi by at least 114.17-95.52. Americanzi is done. The Packers have a defensive lineman named Charles Johnson going for the Carolina Panthers tonight. The Packers are 9-3, and have clinched their fifth consecutive playoff berth. There is one game left in the regular season.

150

Hash

My right foot and knee made for a painful walk to the bathroom at about five this morning, and they hurt throughout the day. I was concerned until twenty minutes or so into today's Hash run, set by Zach and Lacey from Knoop Park, when I knew they were not significantly injured. They feel fine now as I watch football from my couch. It took me 51:25 to cover about three miles on the run.

148

Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run

BENTON, Ark.—I walked and jogged 23.84 miles in six hours this morning and early afternoon at the Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run in Benton. It was easy, except for a callous on my right foot that wore through to the meat. That hurt quite a bit the last four laps or so, and slowed my progress to sixteen-minute miles. Each lap was 1.015 miles. My splits ranged from 14:23 to 16:35. Ron Gimblet was with me the last three hours. Tammy Walther, the former Miss North Little Rock High Track, was named Miss Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run. Walther becomes the first multiple winner since Harding's Kaitlin May won three consecutive Miss Gulf South Conference Women's Basketball Tournament Pageants, from 2007-2009.

145

38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop this afternoon in 28:38, proper work I believe for the day before a six-hour foot race. Tomorrow morning and early afternoon I'm going with the six-hour option at the Sunset 6/12/24 Hour Endurance Run in Benton. My goal is to finish somewhere between comfortably and in one piece; my hope is to reach that goal and complete at least twenty miles. I'm putting the over-under at twenty-two and a half.

I'm thankful for...
...those dirt-cheap razors Chris Vratil introduced to me in September. I know I'm a day late with this, and that I ordinarily treat Thanksgiving like any other Thursday (except for all the football), but I just shaved for the third time with the first of those razors and the son of a bitch is still sharper than two motherfuckers

121

Maple Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:17, and made a coffee cup full of cream gravy out of the grease and crunchies from last night's fried chicken. That was my Thanksgiving breakfast, a cup of gravy. It was perfect. Now I'm going to make some more, and bake a can of biscuits, and fry one chicken thigh, so don't feel sorry for me; the gravy was just an appetizer.

OVERHEARD
"I'm thankful for my grandmother's turkey enchiladas."
—eight-year-old boy on the Houston Texans-Detroit Lions pregame show

"I have a grandson who has a legitimate chance of playing college football. Part of me worries about it, because obviously I know about the danger and all, but another part of me says, 'I can't wait!' "
—Bill "Brass Balls" Brass

119

River Trail/Sam

We jogged and walked six miles on the River Trail this morning in 1:35:38. I was joined by Bill Brass, Ron and Elaine, Bob McKinney, and Sandy Venable. Brass and I jogged three miles non-stop in 32:52. The jog felt much better than last week's. I think I could've gone for another hour or more. My left thigh has a deep, though only lightly-colored bruise. There's a little swelling. It is noticeable as I walk and run, though in no way inhibiting.

I picked Sam off the bed this morning and let her out for the first time in eleven days. She did a Jo when I returned from running; she jogged from my porch to the car, and followed me inside. Now she's eaten and climbed back to the top of the bed. I'm interested to see how long it is before she requests out.

117

Pinnacle Mountain

Bill Brass, Ron Gimblet, and I walked this morning from the Pinnacle Mountain Visitors Center, around Pinnacle on the base trail, and back, in 1:44:08. The loop is almost exactly five miles. I fell on the west side of Pinnacle and feared for a moment that I'd broken my left femur. "OK, leg, I'm going to move you off this big rock. Please don't be broken." Now, three hours later, I can still feel the result.

111

Burns Park/Burns Park

We kind of did the Basketball Loop this morning at Burns Park, except Bob McKinney kept changing directions, and Rosemary announced she had to be home by 11 for the air-conditioning guy, so we twisted around and made it back in 1:17:14. I jogged quite a bit more than normal, so probably covered close to five miles. Ron and Elaine were with us. Of course we spent most of the time telling Hash Fest stories.

Starting at about two p.m., I jogged and walked three laps (6.75 miles) of the Burns Park Loop in 1:26:26, with 2.25-mile splits of 30:02, 29:21, and 27:03.

106

Hash/DFL

HOT SPRINGS, Ark.—We walked about forty-five minutes on streets and trails around the Arlington Hotel this morning and early afternoon, and spent another hour or so looking for lovely Stephanie's key, which fell from her sports bra.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers got a field goal and extra point from Pittsburgh Steelers placekicker Shawn Suisham on Sunday Night Football to secure a 96.56-95.22 victory over the Dadburn Gallinappers. The NFL Packers also won, with a narrow victory over the Detroit Lions.

95

Orange Street Loop/Red Dress Run

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 39:10, with splits of 12:50, 13:29, and 12:51, to warm up for Hash Fest and the Red Tennis Skirt Run.

We were out for a little over four hours on the Red Dress Run in downtown Hot Springs this afternoon and evening. I believe we covered about a mile and a half. I drank three gallons of beer, and ate one cheeseburger and 1,007 potato chips. Surely someone will soon publish a photograph of me walking down the middle of Central with a full pitcher of beer in my hand. Oh, and I think I like Anna, a petepretty blonde from Idaho, or else the UCA junior from China I met in one of those fucking bars. I can't decide. I mean, between the women. I'll never remember the bar.

92

38th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop this morning in 26:35.

At about noon today, Samantha will have been in the house for six consecutive days. Man, she's weird. She has remained in one 12-inch-by-18-inch spot, on top of the front bedroom headboard, to left side of the books, since about an hour after she came in last Saturday. She leaves to eat, and to use the litter box, and immediately returns. Other than  once a day when I bring her into the den to sit on my lap for a few minutes, that's where she's been, mostly staring out the window into Tom's backyard. She hasn't made a single attempt to leave the house. Perhaps I should take her to the vet. I don't know.

Nashville defeated Central Arkansas Christian, 49-13, tonight at Scrapper Stadium. Mother had a hoot. It was cold, but I bundled her up like an Eskimo, and I believe she was warm throughout. At least a dozen people stopped to speak to us. A senior running back named Jakaree Gaines led Nashville's skill players. He ran for two long touchdowns, and a 30-yard run on fourth-and-15 that put an end to things in the second quarter (Nashville led at halftime, 42-0). Senior quarterback Joel Hendry threw two long touchdown passes to senior receiver LaVonte Thomas. A.J. Whitmore, the quarterback who led Nashville to state championships in 2005 and 2006, walked into the bleachers midway through the first quarter, and was treated like a god. He was hugged by at least 2,000 people. His brother, Jalen Whitmore, is a senior offensive and defensive lineman, and the placekicker for Nashville. Very much unlike his sleek brother, Jalen is 5-8, weighs 300 pounds, and has a butt almost exactly the size of Houston, Texas. Nashville has a cheerleader not very much unlike the Vilonia drummer from 2005. Still, it's nice to be home.

88

Two Rivers Park

I walked and jogged six miles through Two Rivers Park this morning with Bill Brass and Sandy Venable. It took us 1:28:43. We jogged three miles non-stop, after walking the first mile or so, in 33:19.

86

Burns Park Loop

I walked and jogged three laps of the Burns Park Loop this afternoon, so covered 6.75 miles in 1:24:29, with 2.25-mile splits of 29:20, 27:51, and 27:18, after I drove in from Nashville. I'm driving back to Nashville on Friday to take mother to the Scrappers' first-round playoff game. She asked me to. About six weeks ago I called her after supper on a Friday night and asked her to please call with the Scrapper score when she knew it. You know, just to try to engage her in something. As it turns, she went to Epps Roark's room and listened to the game on the radio. She called with the score at about ten o'clock. She's called with scores a couple of times since. I tried for nearly twenty years to get mother interested in Scrapper football, which is clearly the most important matter to residents of Nashville and Howard County. I had no success. I mean, none at all. Apparently all it took were five or six games on the radio in the room of Miss Epps, the ninety-five-year-old woman who owned Quality Shoes in downtown Nashville as mother grew up, and for a significant part of my life. "Peter, would you please come back Friday and take me to the Scrapper game?" I couldn't believe it. They're playing Central Arkansas Christian, the school they beat for the '05 championship on that cold night at War Memorial Stadium. Everyone I talked to in Nashville talked about the game. I guess mother and I will be there, and I bet ya'll can imagine how excited I am.

80

Burns Park/DFL

We walked the 4.8-mile Basketball Court Loop in Burns Park this morning in 1:37:50. I did the first half with Ron and Elaine, and Bob McKinney, and the second with Bob. It's been colder the last two days. It was 35°F when I left my house at 8:20.

The Ratpackers pulled away to a 134.54-77.55 victory over the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers last night. "I guess you could say we picked a good week to lay an egg and shit," Packers Coach Vince Lombardi said. "I mean, we've only scored enough to beat the Rats twice all season. Considering [quarterback Aaron] Rodgers was on the bench, as well as [running back Alfred] Morris, [running back Jamaal] Charles, and [wide receiver] Hakeem Nicks, we played fine. We showed a lot of heart, and I'm encouraged as we move forward. That said, I wonder what I would've thought back in the '60s if some cat had tried out for the Packers with a first name like 'Hakeem.' Or, for that matter, 'Jamaal.' "

73

Lakewood/DFL

I walked for 52:00 around the Lakewood lakes this morning, with Ron and Elaine, and Bill Brass.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers are getting waxed, and it's gonna get worse. They trail the Ratpackers 119.33-68.55. The Rats have two talented wide receivers playing Monday Night Football. The Packers have a placekicker going. I guess if he kicks thirty field goals, we might have a chance (the NFL record for a game is eight). Our biggest problem was that the NFL Packers had a bye this week, and we were unable to acquire a starter to replace quarterback Aaron Rodgers. We went with Tim Tebow*, who didn't do dick. I think he scored three points. Rodgers averages a little over thirty. But, we would've gotten hammered even with Rodgers. We're on a streak of sucking.

OVERHEARD
"I'm not supposed to wait on you; you're supposed to wait on me. Do your job. That right there is why this country's the way it is. Nobody does their job anymore."
—man crossing the Home Depot® parking lot, talking to himself

*Tebow was quoted saying, "I've found it way easier to remain a virgin in Levy than in New York City."

68

Orange Street Loop

I jogged and walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 37:20, with splits of 12:30, 12:42, and 12:08.

65

Burns Park

I walked and jogged five laps (11.25 miles) of the Burns Park Loop this morning in 2:35:40, with 2.25-mile splits of 25:57, 27:11, 29:18, 32:26, and 32:45. Ron Gimblet was with me for the last two and a half, all of which we walked. I started with Ron and Elaine, Suzie and Jamie, Petra, and Chris Woodward. My legs were dead most of the way. Bad runs are, to me, much like bad rounds of golf; they're easy to endure with good company. I had a lot of fun. Plus, I drove past Sam on Orange Street on my way home from the Gimblet's. I pulled into the Chiropractic Clinic parking lot, got out, and Sam jogged to me, meowing the whole while. I brought her home. She's still eating. I think I'll keep her in for a couple of days.

62

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 48:31.

51

Burns Park/38th Street Loop

I walked for 1:45:16 through Burns Park this morning with Ron, Elaine, Bob, and Sandy. Bob's GPS said we went 4.8 miles (there was quite a bit of standing around involved as we discussed election results). This evening I jogged and walked the 38th Street Loop in 25:12, with splits of 12:31 and 12:41. The weather remains nearly perfect.

48

Cooks Landing/Orange Street Loop

I walked on the River Trail, out and back from Cook's Landing, for 1:18:10 this morning with Ron and Elaine, Bill Brass, Bob McKinney, and Sandy Venable, and this evening alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop in 37:41, with splits of 12:36, 12:57, and 12:08.

41

Burns Park

I jogged and walked two laps of the Burns Park Loop this afternoon, or 4.5 miles in 50:57, with splits of 24:58 and 25:59. The weather was perfect—calm, dry, blue, and 60°F.

33

Levy Trail/DFL

I walked and jogged 5.2 miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 1:09:45, and found Samantha. I believe there are women in separate houses by the Chiropractic Clinic who feed her. There was an empty can of cat food on one of their porches. Sam's now inside, out of the rain, eating Cat Chow.

The DFL Green Bay Packers held on to defeat the Sherwood Shigellas, 87.20-73.81. They're not playing well, and have won two consecutive games with luck. The NFL Packers beat the cow shit out of the Arizona Cardinals. They're playing better than two motherfuckers.

28

38th Street Loop/Hash/DFL

I walked and jogged the 38th Street Loop in 25:24 this morning, carefully looking for Samantha for several blocks around my house. She has been gone since Thursday, but should reappear today.

I arrived late for the Hash, never found the trail, but jogged for 45:27 to cover at least four miles. We started way out west, off Chenal Parkway. The post-run was great fun.

The Green Bay Packers lead the Sherwood Shigallas, 87.20-67.05, after today's games. Sherwood has a receiver named Lance Moore going for New Orleans in the Monday Night Football game.

23

Burns Park

I jogged and walked four laps this morning on a 2.25-mile trail loop, from the covered bridge in Burns Park, for a total of nine miles in 2:01:35. I did them with Ron and Elaine Gimblet, Susie and Jamey, and their friend Chris Woodruff, in 25:24, 28:42, 27:46, and 30:36. Our intervals depended on how long the women took to go to the bathroom, and on how long it took us to persuade Elaine and Susie to start (it seemed as if they failed to understand that starting to walk or jog didn't mean they had to stop talking), and varied from 1:08 to 4:59.

17

Oaklawn Park

Hot Springs—I walked for 32:08 through the Oaklawn Park parking lot and barn area this afternoon, and also lost $12.50 betting on the Breeder's Cup from Santa Anita.

8

Emerald Park

Ron and Elaine Gimblet, Sandy Venable, the woman named Ann who hangs out with Bob McKinney, and I walked this morning from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot up into Emerald Park (Fort Roots), then down and back along the River Trail. We were out for 1:43:39, and probably covered at least six miles. Afterward, Suzie Philips joined Ron, Elaine, and me at the Waffle House on McCain Blvd., where I had the pork-chop breakfast, and the best, hottest plate of biscuits and gravy I've ever eaten.

6