Cooks Landing

Z Man, temporarily out of work with Little Rock's closure of the Rebsamen tennis center, joined the Geezers this morning. A total of six of us walked out and back, east and west, from Cooks Landing on the River Trail for 1:35:49.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the CEO of the next company that begins a television commercial with an announcer who says something in the neighborhood of, "At (You Name It), we understand how difficult these times are."
Oh yeah. Get fucked. So you're telling me the people at your company, each and everyone including the boss, aren't intellectually disabled to the point they can't comprehend language. Man, I'm telling you, that really puts you out front. It's nice to know your management and employees watch TV or read stuff on the Internet. Please head to the curb with a bag of whatever you got so a Pam's Boy employee or advocate can stab you

River Trail

I was out with a handful of Little Rock Hash House Harriers on the North Little Rock side of the River Trail yesterday afternoon for a total of 44:08. We maintained reasonable separation. Lacey, or Poo, who panics easily, has insisted on somewhere in the neighborhood of a fifteen-foot gap.
Burns Park was packed yesterday with bikers, walkers, runners, golfers, and dogs.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Are there any dog walkers who would agree to walk a cat, because Pete says he would gladly pay $500 a day—even if it means he has to take another job—just to watch someone try to walk Joe, particularly at a dog park?

Dr. Birx predicts up to 200 million U.S. coronavirus deaths ‘if we do things almost perfectly’ and potential extinction of all fauna and flora ‘if we do not’

The White House coronavirus response coordinator said Monday that she is “very worried about every city, indeed every person in the United States” and projects 100 million to 200 million American deaths as a best-case scenario.

In an interview on “TODAY,” Dr. Deborah Birx painted a grim message about the expected fatalities, echoing that without taking further measures they could hit as high, "...as every man, woman, and child who has ever lived in America." as coronavirus cases continue to climb throughout the U.S.

“I think everyone understands now that you can go from five to 50 to 500 to 5000 to five trillion cases very quickly,” Birx said.

“I think in some of the metro areas we were decades and perhaps centuries late in getting people to follow the 15-day guidelines,” she added. “This is a failure of every administration since Nero's."

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I did my typical all-the-heck-over-the-facility walk at Oaklawn at lunchtime today. I was out for 42:27.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
Has anyone other than I concluded the toilet-paper shortage indicates the overwhelming tendency, when push comes to shove, of Americans to concern themselves with their own interests and those of no one else—a truism reflected by the occupants of most of our political offices? I'm confident there are none, but why would any of my readers who currently have more toilet paper in their houses than they have had before not double down on President Trump on the first Tuesday of November, if for no other reason than to avoid the guilt inherent in a life hypocritically lived?

Pete and other writers have not been allowed out of the pressbox at Oaklawn to chase jockeys and trainers and others for post-race interviews after the last two Saturday stake races. Here's what Pete got today, with much of it prewritten:

PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS — There was a brother’s day celebration at Oaklawn.

Carson McCord’s K J’s Nobility was ridden by Calvin Borel to a three-length win in the $100,000 6-furlong Nodouble Breeders’ Stakes for Arkansas-bred horses three-years-old and up in 1:10.00 over a sloppy track at Oaklawn Racing Casino Resort on Saturday.

K J’s Nobility, the 9-5 favorite, is trained by Cecil Borel, the older brother of the winning jockey.

“He ran good,” Cecil Borel said. “You look at him, he’s just getting good. Just getting good.”

Oaklawn remained closed to all but men and women essential to racing, including security and medical personnel, and media, for the tenth consecutive racing day, so no fans watched the Nodouble in person. They were barred from the grounds indefinitely on March 13 as part of Oaklawn’s attempt to slow the coronavirus pandemic.

Robert Cline’s Bandit Point finished second in the Nodouble at 12-1, 3 1/4 lengths in front of third-place Glacken’s Ghost. J.E.’s Handmedown finished fourth, 7 1/4 lengths behind the winner.

“Calvin and Cecil did a hell of a job with their horse,” Cline said. “My hat’s* off to them for that.”

Darrell Riggan’s Heritage Park was first out of the gate among the nine-horse field and led by 1/2 length over Jerry Caroom’s Destiny Way through an opening quarter-mile in 21.93. Glacken’s Ghost was 1/2 length back in third. K J’s Nobility was in fifth, 2 1/2 lengths off the lead. Bandit Point was last, nine lengths back.

Heritage Park, with Alex Birzer up, also led Destiny Way in second by 1 1/2 lengths through the half in 45.39. Destiny Way would fade quickly to last, but Heritage Park appeared in contention, 1/2 length behind the new leader K J’s Nobility as they crossed the head of the stretch. Bandit Point, trained by Cline and ridden by Arkansas native Kelsi Harr had moved to fourth, one length behind Glacken’s Ghost, trained by Mac Robertson.

Caroom’s Hoonani Road, who had finished no further back than third in his nine previous starts at Oaklawn, was sixth, 4 1/2 lengths off the lead.

Before this season began, Hoonani Road had won seven consecutive races at Oaklawn, a streak begun in the first start of his career in 2018. He started the Nodouble as the defending champion but finished sixth. Last season, he won four of four Oaklawn starts, including the 1-mile-and-1/16th Arkansas Breeders’ Championship.

K J’s Nobility pulled away through the stretch. Behind him, Bandit Point quickly passed Heritage Park, who would fade to eighth, and Glacken’s Ghost, but would not threaten the winner.

Cline said he was confident as Bandit Point turned for home but felt as if K J’s Nobility was likely out of reach.

“I watched and I said, ‘Man, I think that one got too far gone,’ ” Cline said. “ ‘We can’t run that one down,’ but actually, he made it a closer race than I thought he might. Looking at the track today, I didn’t see a lot of horses closing, so for him to make up the ground he did, I thought he ran a really good race.”

Racetracks across the U.S. have either restricted attendance, suspended racing, or canceled their seasons in response to the coronavirus. The New York Racing Association announced Wednesday that New York City’s Aqueduct would suspend racing until at least April 5. On Saturday, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said the state had received federal approval to convert the track’s facility into a temporary hospital.

Jockey Joe Talamo, who rode Destiny Way, was on hand for a month-long closure of Santa Anita Park last season after a spike in thoroughbred deaths, but he said current circumstances were odder yet.

“Going through this is weirder by a landslide,” Talamo said. “Hats* off to management. They’re doing everything they can for us to keep racing. They’re pretty relentless on us guys. We have to take temperatures twice a day. We can’t be too close to each other. We’re definitely doing our part, so hopefully, we can keep rolling.”

The Nodouble, first run in 2009, was named for the champion Arkansas-bred son of Noholme II. Nodouble won the 1968 Arkansas Derby, finished third in the Preakness Stakes, and would win a total of nine stakes races, including the Santa Anita Handicap, the California Stakes at Hollywood Park, and the Brooklyn Handicap at Aqueduct. Nodouble was retired to a successful stud career after he won the 1970 Metropolitan Handicap at Belmont Park.

*Pete had never before considered the possible symbolic distinctions of the cliché involving hats removed from heads in honor of specific matters, but he thought this was the best way to handle these quotes, one as possessive and the other as a plural. Who knows? He certainly didn't when he used it on quora.com on Friday, March 27, 2020

ANOTHER QUORA ANSWER FROM PETE

What are 2 things that Donald Trump did right and did wrong for the USA? Also, if he wins presidency again, will it overall be good for America and its people?

No one can know in the short term, but I think President Trump did well in his attempt to change the circumstances of our trade relationship with China and to eliminate our support for the Iran nuclear deal. Hats off, I say. He has done poorly—and has become an embarrassment—in nearly every other regard, a byproduct of his insistence on behaving as if he were a typical, insecure thirteen-year-old boy.

If he wins the coming presidential election, we’ll do fine so long as four more years of shaking our heads and cringing doesn't exhaust us. Our constitution is written well enough to protect us from all leaders, foreign and domestic, including President Trump.

Burns Park Championship Course

Ed and I played the Burns Park Championship course this morning and early afternoon. I scored 94 and Ed 97. I had nines of 49 and 45, with 3 pars, 10 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 32 putts.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop at lunchtime today in 32:23.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why would anyone call coronavirus Covid-19? Why waste a perfectly good—indeed borderline great—word? To do so is as ridiculous as calling ping pong table tennis or guacamole avocado dip. We can't afford such wastefulness in times like these

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime today in 33:37.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning 31:29.
OK, I might have overstated my coronavirus concerns yesterday, but not by much, by god. Who knows? I might have already had it. Beginning five weeks ago this Thursday, while in the midst of hanging around all those big crowds at Oaklawn, I ran a fever over several days for the first time since March 2003, evidence that I'm not particularly prone to the common flu. Furthermore, I did have a kind of wheezing going on that I had never before experienced, plus I coughed up snot through the whole deal.

Hash

We had a run for the Little Rock Hash House Harriers that clearly demonstrated how fucking scared everyone is except me. We could start it anywhere from noon until 6 p.m., the idea being that no more than three or four or so would be out together.
I drank three cans of beer and no one stood any closer to anyone else than a good, solid ten feet. There were seven of us spread all over a front yard in the ghetto about a half-mile east of UALR.

OVERHEARD
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself— nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror that paralyzes needed effort to convert retreat into advance."
—Franklin Delano Roosevelt from his 1931 inaugural address

Man, we're all going to die eventually, but if we cower in fear and give up the only way of living we've known, is that living? I say it's not. It isn't. I say, give me coronavirus and I'll take my chances. Eventually, maybe after a few more months of financial ruin and stir craziness, everyone will say fuck it, we can't hide anymore, we're catching this thing anyway, and go out with their friends for pitchers of beer, big bowls of chips, cheese dip, hot sauce, hot plates oozing with chili and cheese over tortillas stuffed with cheese and cow meat, and to hear me say, "See, I told you motherfuckers."
Go to the horse races if you want. Sign a waiver and have fun. Play the Masters, baseball, football, tennis, whatever. Come on, let's go. Let's live.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next celebrity musician I see televised by Skype singing as they sit next to their fireplace on CBS Morning News

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked from my car and all over the indoors of Oaklawn's property toward my desk in the pressbox for 40:38 early this afternoon.
It's crazy how many times I have written the word coronavirus over the last ten days. I believe I wrote the word bemoaned today for the first time:

PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS —  For a little over a minute, the time it took to complete the Gazebo Stakes, talk of the coronavirus pandemic took a backseat to horse racing at Oaklawn.

Barbara, David, and William Webber’s Long Weekend, ridden by Joe Talamo and trained by Tom Amoss, led gate to wire to win the $90,000 6-furlong Gazebo for three-year-old horses by 4 3/4 lengths over second-place Little Menace in 1:09.77 before a crowd of zero at Oaklawn Racing Casino Resort on Saturday.

Oaklawn closed its racing facility to fans on March 13 to help slow the spread of the new disease. The track remains off-limits to anyone other than horsemen, officials, essential Oaklawn employees, medical and security personnel, and media representatives. Racehorse owners and their guests were added to the list this week of those excluded from the grounds.

Muddy Waters Stables’ and Ingrid Mason’s Lykan finished third, 3 1/2 lengths behind Phoenix Thoroughbred’s Little Menace, from the barn of Hall of Fame trainer Steve Asmussen, and 2 3/4 lengths in front of Hugh Robertson’s Beau Oxy, who finished fourth, 11 lengths behind the winner.

“I thought it was great,” Amoss said.

Long Weekend, by Majesticperfection, was first out of the gate and led Fly to the Bank, who would finish last in the field of six, through the first quarter-mile in 22.24, with Little Menace, a son of Into Mischief ridden by David Cohen, in third, three lengths back.

Long Weekend passed the half-mile in 45.75 and led by three lengths over Little Menace in second as they turned for home at the head of the stretch. Lykan, ridden by Tyler Baze and trained by Mason, was in third, three lengths behind Little Menace, as he began his stretch run. He was 6 1/2 lengths behind the winner.

“Long Weekend is an athletic horse,” Amoss said. “He broke super sharp, and they chased him, and they came to him, and he had plenty in reserve. He’s just a really good horse.”

Amoss had bemoaned Long Weekend’s run of bad luck after his two starts as a two-year-old. First, Long Weekend was kicked by a pony in a post parade at Keeneland’s fall meet in Lexington, Ky., and was scratched. Next, he was set to race at Fair Grounds in New Orleans in his first entry as a three-year-old, but Amoss said ruckus from an eating contest at the track caused Long Weekend to toss his rider and fall to the track, and he was again scratched.

“In a very strange set of circumstances, Fair Grounds had a red-beans-and-rice eating contest on the apron of the track,” Amoss said. “They had all the big eaters. Joey Chestnut and, I mean, these were national guys. It was sponsored by a red-beans company, and there was a lot of activity and hoopla, and it spooked Long Weekend, and he got loose in the post parade.”

Long Weekend’s prep race for the Gazebo came at Sam Houston Race Park in Houston, Texas, where he won a 6-furlong optional-claiming race in 1:09.58 on Feb. 19.

“[The Gazebo] was good on a couple of accounts,” Amoss said. “Number one, it reaffirmed his last race, and number two, it came against better company. I was really, really pleased by his race.”

Amoss said he remains self-quarantined in Louisiana as his part in the nationwide attempt to slow the effects of coronavirus. He spent time at Oaklawn last weekend with New Orleans Saints Coach Sean Payton, who tested positive for coronavirus on Thursday. Amoss said he and Payton celebrated together after Serengeti Empress, trained by Amoss, won the Grade II Azeri Stakes.

Payton was at Oaklawn as a guest of Bill Parcels, owner of Three Technique, who finished fourth in Oaklawn’s Grade II Rebel Stakes last Saturday.

“I was in very close contact to Sean Payton last Saturday,” Amoss said. “I had lunch right next to him, was around him. We high-fived after the race. We hugged after the race. I mean, I know how it is out there, so I felt like I needed to [quarantine myself].”

Amoss said he thought Oaklawn’s $100,000 6-furlong Bachelor Stakes, scheduled for April 25, is a likely option for Long Weekend’s next start.

“A race like the Bachelor, being right there, is something we have our eye on,” Amoss said.

Burns Park Championship Course

I played the front nine of Burns Park Championship Course this afternoon in 49, with 1 par, 2 bogies, and 6 doubles. The nine holes took me 1 hour, 24 minutes, yet a guy in cart played up my ass the whole time. Two guys in a cart played up his ass. If 2-hour, 48-minute rounds of golf aren't fast enough for you, then go get fucked.
I'm not sure this is true, but I declare I am done with soggy golf. I don't care if loaves of bread go up to $20, I hope it doesn't rain for the next six months.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Where the fuck is all the toilet paper? I have about an eighth of a roll. I do have nine rolls of paper towels and three big boxes of Kleenex, but where is all the toilet paper? I just don't understand it. Are there people with several hundred rolls in their houses?

Levy Trail South

I hurt a foot near the end of a hypoglycemicdreams.blogspot.com dream very early Monday morning, March 16, 2020. It felt one-hundred percent as I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs tonight to complete Levy Trail South in 31:01.

Burns Park Championship Course

I played the front nine on a ridiculously soggy Burns Park Championship course this evening in 47. I played because it is supposed to rain most of the next three days. I probably won't get another chance until next Sunday at the earliest. It was cold and windy and miserable. Obviously, no one else was on the course. I had 1 par, 6 bogies, 1 double, 1 quadruple, and used 18 putts.

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked from my car to the Oaklawn Racing Casino Resort building and grandstand, which I then toured from top to bottom. It took me 39:45. What's weird is, as part of Oaklawn's contribution to the national overreaction to the pandemic coronavirus, there's almost no one here. Fans are not allowed to attend races until further notice.

Burns Park Championship Course

I played the front nine of Burns Park Championship Course this morning in 44. I had 3 pars, 3, bogies, 3 doubles, and used 15 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Since there are no sporting events going on anywhere in the world, would anyone like to buy Pete's television?

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course

I almost wrote that I feel as if I am, at long last, one-hundred percent not sick, but then, no kidding, I coughed for the first time today and the 1,000,006th time since two and a half weeks ago.
I guess I'm almost there. I walked Levy Trail South this warm, nearly muggy morning in 33:17, and now I'm off for a round of golf.
Ed and I played Burns Park Championship Course this afternoon. I scored 85, with nines of 41 and 44, and Ed 87. I had 9 pars, 5 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, and used 31 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Did anyone ever believe the day would come when major news outlets would publish stories about where to buy Clorox wipes? This is how fucked up we are.

Burns Park Tournament Course

I played the back nine of the Burns Park Tournament Course at lunchtime today in 46, with 2 pars, 5 bogies, 1 double, and 1 quadruple. I used 17 putts.

Burns Park Tournament Course

I played the front nine of Burns Park Tournament Course this afternoon in 44, with 4 pars, 3 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 16 putts, including a four-putt on No. 2.

Burns Park Championship Course

Ed, John, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning and early afternoon. I scored 88, Ed 91, and John 101. I had nines of 45 and 43, with 1 birdie, 5 pars, 8 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 triples. I used 33 putts. I believe this was my sixth time under 90 on courses of Par 70 or higher.

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked the long way from my car parked on Travista Street to the Oaklawn press box early Saturday afternoon in 36:02. My return on $13 wagered was exactly $62, so my $40 voucher is now worth $80.60. A $4 win bet on a horse that went off at 14-1 returned the entire $62. I believe that was the longest shot I have hit since 2010.
This morning, while reporting on the Little Rock Marathon for the paper, I hit the longest shot of my life. A very heavy utility pole blew over on and irreparably crushed my beloved, beautiful Crown Victoria. I hope the City of Little Rock will pick up the tab. The cop was almost certain it was an old, retired city streetlight pole that did the damage. I'm putting the over-under on lifetimes lived without having a pole fall on someone's car at one-hundred forty-nine.