War Memorial Golf Course

My golf game is teetering. I played with Ed and Steve Grace (John said his foot "hurts like 3 MFers" in an email today) at War Memorial Golf Course this morning and played the last three holes in 11-over to finish with a 96. Steve scored 82 and Ed 89.

Cook's Landing/DFL

Several other Geezers and I walked a total of about five miles out and back from Cooks Landing on the River Trail this morning in 1:40:47.
The bad news is the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers lost to the Ratpackers, 104.51-92.55. We're 8-4 and in third place. The good news is that we are officially in the playoffs for the first time since our eight-year run of playoff berths came to an end after 2015 season. We had to play the Ratpackers without Kareem Hunt, since the Kansas City Chiefs took the week off. We'll have him back next weekend when we play archrival Krup's Kids.

HIndman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 86. I scored 98 and John 105. I had nines of 47 and 51, with 1 birdie, 2 pars, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 whatever the fuck a 10 on the Par 4 9th hole is. I used 35 putts.

PARAGRAPH OF THE DAY
A lot of times when I’m on his lap, Rock Allen says he loves me. He’ll just flat out say, “I love you, Jo.” I don’t know what he means, but whenever he says it, he’s usually rubbing my head or chin or petting my back from collar to tail, and I can’t help but purr. I guess it’s a good thing for him to love me, but I know for a fact that even he’s unsure of what all that business means.

Pam's Path

This is a good day among those in a college football season. Michigan plays Ohio State at 11 a.m. Central on Fox and Auburn Alabama at 2:30 p.m. on CBS. Both games will make or break each of their participants' seasons. Consequently, irrational passion will walk out of your television, grab your shoulders, and shake the fuck out of you for roughly seven hours.
To warm up, I walked Pam's Path through fog as it turned to cloudless blue sunshine this morning in 1:04:40.
PARAGRAPH OF THE DAY
Rock Allen’s lap is my favorite place. Sure, others come close, and I go to them when Rock’s at work or wherever, or home and particularly restless. Times like those, I like our windowsills, especially the three in the den that overlook the most significant of our four televisions and are pretty much in direct sunlight most of the day. Also, there’s a twin bed in one of our back bedrooms no one has slept on in my twelve years here, and I’ve curled up on it so many times there’s a permanent ring of gray and white fur in the middle of its white, moth-worn cotton bedspread. Furthermore, there’s a rug in the basement bathroom I like a lot. It’s the color and shape of a cartoon turtle and as comfortable as rugs get. Rock almost never goes down there, so game days when he’s constantly up and down to pee or get cans of beer, I head to that bathroom to get out of the way. I’m pretty sure he hasn’t once stepped on me as I napped on that turtle's shaggy back, but I'm here to tell you, when he has the time, there’s nothing better than the security, comfort, and guaranteed warmth of Rock Allen’s lap.

McMain Mall

I walked from my car and all around McMain Mall and back this afternoon for 36:54.

War Memorial Golf Course

John and played War Memorial Golf Course this morning. I scored 92 and John 96. I had one birdie but not a single par. I'm pretty sure I've never had that combination before. I used 36 putts.
By the way, we were the only two people on the course. It was closed, but the guys in clubhouse told me Wednesday that anyone could play for free on Thanksgiving, sort of like Fort Roots all those years ago. The weather was nearly perfect. We were in T-shirts after about the fourth hole.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:13.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...anyone who expresses any concern whatsofuckingever, for christ's sake, about the type of lettuce on their Thanksgiving table. Fucking lettuce

...the next person who asks anyone to tell them what they are thankful for. C'mon. Where's the end to that piece-of-shit question? I'm thankful for the freedom to tell you to mind your own fucking business

OVERHEARD
"Hey, those guys are cutting in line. They're cutting in line. Those skinny fuckers are cutting in line."
—leader of a pack of festive old men on the first tee at War Memorial Golf Course as I walked off after ten holes of practice

"I was absolutely dumbfounded. It's the most phenomenal thing you can see in nature."
—David Baron, author of American Eclipse, on National Public Radio

Senior Center-North LIttle Rock High/DFL

I walked for a total of 42:38 late this afternoon around the Senior Center track and to and from the North Little Rock High track where I walked two laps. I think I went a little less than 2.5 miles.
The DFL Green Bay Packers pulled away on Monday night to a 125.36-106.39 victory over Last Chance FU. We remain in second place out of 14 teams with two regular-season games left.

Levy Trail South/War Memorial Golf Course/DFL

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:18.
This afternoon, John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course, which is in much better shape than it was nearly a month ago. John scored 88 and I scored 90, with nines of 44 and 46. I had 1 birdie, 1 par, 9 bogies, 4 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple.
The DFL Green Bay Packers almost can't lose. We lead the Last Chance FU's 107.27-106.39 and have a great player going, Kareem Hunt, a Kansas City Chiefs running back who is projected to score 18.61 points tonight. The FU's have a mediocre defensive lineman for the LA Rams who is projected to score 2.26 points. Odds are, FU's guy doesn't score anything, and we win no matter what.
We'll see.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
When mini-mart clerks get blown away, do they die in service to their country?
.

Levy Trail North/DFL

I walked Levy Trail North late this morning in 31:20.
The DFL Green Bay Packers had a big Thursday night with three players in the Green Bay-at-Seattle game (two NFL Packers and Seahawks running back). We're projected to win somewhere around 125-105. We need to win to stay in second place and perhaps move into first.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 28:35.

I PLAN TO STAB
The next woman who says, "In this country, we live under the rule of law," or the equivalent. I will stab men who say it, too, but I have never heard a man say it

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at dusk today in 33:39. Mary Lyons walked most of the final mile with me. It was the first time I had seen her since last Christmas at Kroger. She laughed uproariously at my anti-turkey routine. I predict it won't be long before people begin to tell me they've heard it.
By the way, when I woke up yesterday morning, there was about a half inch of snow on the ground and cars. It was the earliest accumulation of snow I remember seeing since Oct. 25, 1991.

Levy

When I began my 32:47 walk around Levy this afternoon, very light snowfall was underway. When I walked back into my house, it was snowing somewhat like two motherfuckers, and more than an hour later, it still is.
At 10:05 p.m., there's a good solid dusting of snow in Levy. I don't mind writing that it's lovely since it ain't on the roads. Beyond this, fuck snow. No kidding, fuck it in the ass with a big plastic dick.

Walmart/DFL

I walked from my car to and all around the McCain Walmart and back this evening for 35:53, during which I bought a bag of high-fiber oatmeal raisin cookies, a lamp, some plastic flowers, and a little cake pan that cost eighty-eight cents.
The DFL Green Bay Packers managed to pull out a 107.66-101.71 victory over the Cajun Navy during Monday Night football. We are 7-3 and in second place in our 14-team league.
I wrote in great detail about my agony as the game between San Francisco and the New York Giants progressed.
Here was my favorite: 9:57 p.m. We now lead107.66-101.71 with 2:46 left in the game. The 9ers just kicked a field goal to go up, 23-20, but there are all sorts of ways we could still lose. The key would be for the Giants to tie the score and force overtime, which they of course almost certainly will.
Don't let your children play fantasy football. I can tell you, it's the only reason I drink. If it weren't for fantasy football, I would have a handicap under five and a wall littered with Pulitzer Prizes

QUESTION OF THE DAY
How much comfort can an ESPN telecast of a San Franciso 49ers football game provide someone whose house just burned down?

Bear Loop

CONWAY—My goal next football season, provided I am still on the UCA beat, is to permanently establish the Bear Loop. In five attempts this fall, I was stalled by either hot weather or trails through the Jewel Moore Nature Reserve so flooded as to have left me with shoes far too muddy to bring into the press box.
This afternoon's attempt lasted 54:12.  It includes a lap around the inside of Estes Stadium, which is neat with players all out there warming up in the crisp, cold sunshine. You know, the sort that fucking begs for a football game.

OVERHEARD
"Yes. Wyoming is one of those square midwestern states that no one knows where is."
—University of Incarnate Word sports information director to her assistant in the UCA press box on Saturday night, who began the exchange by saying, no shit, "Is Wyoming a state?"

Hindman Park Golf Course

John, Ed, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this afternoon. Ed and I scored 95 and John 106. I had nines of 50 and 45, with 3 pars, 8 bogies, 6 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 36 putts.
I hit 10 of 12 fairways with my driver today, which might make this the best driving day of my 33-year golf career. It's part of why I only scored seven strokes better than two days ago but felt as if I'd improved by fifty.

Hindman Park Golf Course/DFL

I sucked today. There was nothing weird wrong with my swing. I just sucked. I hit a bunch of really nice shots, but couldn't putt, chip, or pitch worth a fuck. My iron and wood shots keep barely missing. Ed, John, and I played Hindman Park Golf Course today. Ed scored 87. John scored 107. I scored 101 with nines of 49 and 52. I needed a 7 on No. 18 to break 100. I was 20 feet off the green in 3 and scored a 10. Fuck.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers beat the Fat Chicks, 115.75-98.40. We are now 6-3 and in third place. My team is pretty good, contenders for the first time since 2015.

River Trail

Several other Geezers and I walked on the River Trail this morning for 2:00:30.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
When someone says, "I vote because I want my voice to be heard," what the fuck do they mean?

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 34:02.

Bears Loop

CONWAY—I walked the Bears Loop yesterday afternoon in 54:45. The loop is named after a dead dog from Texas, a dead Alabama football coach from Fordyce, Arkansas, who once played high school football with Pete's sophomore biology teacher Dub Martin, and a golfer from Ohio who won quite a few major golf championships.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Who the fuck wrote this headline for the lead story in today's edition of the New York Times: Give me a goddamn break. America is in turmoil?  I mean, sure, I understand, that's all anyone is talking about, the way our whole fucking country is in a state of upheaval, ferment, and mayhem. Sure, I see the riots. I see the marches from coast to coast. I understand the majority of our lives have been irrevocably changed by the current presidential administration. ...Wait a minute. Hold on. I take it back. This is a great headline:

A Nation in Turmoil Prepares to Deliver a Verdict on Trump

Ain't nothing the same anymore*

*President Trump embarrasses me. He shouldn't be our president, but his current role does not excuse hyperbolic headlines from the best paper in world history  

Hindman Park Golf Course

Ed and I played Hindman Park Golf Course. Ed scored 87. I scored 94 with nines of 51 and 43. I had 2 birdies (Nos. 11 and 14), 1 par, 8 bogies, 5 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 31 putts. Both nines were soaked. They flooded yesterday. Among the many indicators was, no kidding, a fresh, shiny shad right in the middle of the No. 14 fairway.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 32:29.