Levy Trail/Hash

I walked the Levy Trail this morning in 31:45. It's lovely out. At 11:54 a.m., it's 80°F, breezy, and as dry as Melba toast. This evening I ran on an amazing network of dirt trails off of the River Trail near the Big Dam Bridge with the Hash. I didn't know trails were there. I ran most of the way, and went 3.2 miles in 38:12.

Levy Trail

Dad matters kept me from the trail run this morning. I walked two miles at about 5:30 this morning on the Levy Trail in 30:37.

OVERHEARD
"...so, don't count your eggs before they've hatched."
—Annika Sorenstam, talking about how Inbee Park could still lose the U.S. Women's Open

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 29:21. Much later, at about 9 p.m., I investigated all the new page designs blogspot.com offered. I tried them all, and then couldn't go back to the old one. It's apparently no longer available.

Park Hill Loop

I walked the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:13:55.

Levy Trail

I walked and jogged six miles on the Levy Trail late this afternoon in 1:18:15. I'm still sweating. My couch is wet.

Levy Trail

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail this evening in 46:44.

Levy Loop

I took mom to Texarkana for shoes, pants, and a blue blazer, and ate way too much fish, greens, cabbage, and tomatoes at Bryce's Cafeteria. Then I drove to dad's and Lilian's in Hot Springs, where I ate way too much chicken, corn, and bread. Two hours later I walked the Levy Loop in 31:41 and felt fuller than two people.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 32:32, and could not walk slowly enough to not sweat. At 10:11 a.m., it's 83° with a RealFeel® of 89. I'm tired from yesterday. I no longer think I can break eight hours for the Midnight 50K. I'll probably take the 7 p.m. start option. Late this afternoon I walked about two miles on a Hash run set by John Kelley from Who the Hell is Misty's house. I had to do a down-down for wearing LA Gear shoes.

OVERHEARD
"Yeah, except I just call it 'olive oil.' "
—chef on a Create Network cooking show, after another chef said, "And then you add EVO?"

Lake to Lake/monthly weight report

WILLIAMS JUNCTION, Ark.—I walked and jogged 16.5 miles of the Lake to Lake course in 4:12:39 this morning. I went out in 2:07:44, and came back in 2:04:55. I turned around about a quarter of a mile from Lake Winona, after Enema of the State told me the park ranger said he couldn't guarantee the potability of the water in the bathrooms near the lake. Later I regretted not going all the way there, for three reasons: 1. I would like to know exactly how long the whole deal would've taken; 2. I'm pretty sure I would've survived another seven and a half minutes without water; 3. I have never before cared about anyone's guarantee of water's potability, or the sanitation of anything. I mean, come on, take a look at my kitchen. I felt much better today than I did last weekend, or the weekend before. Plus, the crowd was lovely, and more fun than a barrel full of motherfuckers.

I weighed 173 this morning, so I've lost two pounds in the last month and nine in the last four. My goal of 169 by the Midnight 50K (four weeks from tonight) looks unlikely, but is not impossible.

Lakewood/Levy Trail

I walked with Ron and Elaine Gimblet, and Jim Sweatt for 1:00:34 on a round-trip from Lakewood Lake No. 2. We went a little over three miles. My legs were dead, I guess from golf, although they livened up as we went, and they felt even better this afternoon, as I poked along for two miles in 32:20 on the Levy Trail. I started earlier than usual, at about four, hoping for more sleep tonight. I plan to attempt the 16-17-mile Lake to Lake Run with the Hash and Pike's Peak people tomorrow morning at 6:30. It goes from Lake Sylvia to Lake Winona and back.

Levy Trail/First Tee

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 48:30. This afternoon I participated in Play it Forward®* at First Tee. I played balls from the middle and front tees, and scored an 89, with the middles in 48 and fronts in 41. I had 1 birdie, 6 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 quadruple. I drove well today. My birdie was on No. 7, from the front tee, where I went driver, putter from the fringe, and one putt. Maybe I should take two more months off. My legs felt great out there, even though it was 95°F.

OVERHEARD
"When you look at the scouting report on Joey Votto, his one glaring weakness is pitches that are low and behind him."
—Cincinnati Reds analyst Chris Welsh, after Pittsburgh Pirates starter Brandon Comptom bounced a pitch behind Joey Votto

*this weekend is Play it Forward Weekend, according to pga.com. I'm not going to golf this weekend

Park Hill Loop/Humpin' Hash

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:06:35, not bad considering the humidity, and the fact that it was my first ultrabearathon since last Saturday. My splits were 12:49, 13:25, 13:33, 13:28, and 13:21. Tonight I ran and walked 4.25 miles with the Humpin' Hash, out and back from the White Water Tavern. It took me 49:34, and I felt great.

Levy Trail

Man, my legs are dead. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 31:16. I'm not sure when I'll be up to running. By Thursday, I hope. We'll see. On the other hand, I might try again in the morning. I felt a little better this afternoon, walking three miles on the Levy Trail in 47:50. I'm thinking about golf for Thursday.

Levy Trail/Levy Trail intervals

I walked and jogged three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 37:56. Mary Lyons was out there. She's the sort unconcerned about time and distance. All she said she planned to do, after she stopped to walk and jog with me for a couple of minutes, was run to the river and back. I told her I was going to the Dixie Pig and back.

My legs were too dead this afternoon for intervals. By the fourth 200, I realized I didn't feel like going 200 meters without stopping. I did three, with forty-five second intervals, in 65.2, 67.5, and 70.9. I went about 150 meters on the fourth, and quit. In all, I went a little over two miles. Darn.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 32:20.

Midnight 50K course

WILLIAMS JUNCTION—I walked and jogged out on the Midnight 50K course this morning for exactly1:30, and covered 6.25 miles. It took me 1:31:48 coming home. I went too hard to start, obviously. I didn't want to run even on the downhills. Overall, I went 12.5 miles in 3:01:48. Now I'm going to watch golf and eat pizza.

OVERHEARD
"I have people ask me all the time, 'What's the best way to get started in the game?' "
—Tom Watson, lying on a USGA golf promotion. I can imagine that no one has ever asked Watson what the best way to get started golfing is. "Hey, Tom. Tom Watson. Multiple major winner. What's the best way to get started in the game?" Where do people ask him this? How many people who know who Tom Watson is wouldn't know the answer to that question?

"I think I played better than my score dictated."
—Phil Mickelson

Levy Trail/Levy Trail

I wanted to see how far I could comfortably go in an hour, and discovered this morning that it is, according to Google Earth, 5.11 miles. I jogged and walked it on the Levy Trail, for an average of 11:44.5 a mile. That's OK, I think. It's nicer out today. It's 85°F at 11:08 a.m., but the RealFeel® is only 86. Here's hoping it's this nice in the morning, when several of us are doing an out-and-back on the Midnight 50K course. I'd like to go for about three hours. This afternoon, starting at about five o'clock, I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 26:33.

OVERHEARD
"I'm not sure anyone will make a putt from there, but I'm not saying it's not impossible."
—Jane Crafter on the USGA US Open Webcast, making me feel hypoglycemic

Levy Trail

Don't waste your time reading this. Go watch the U.S. Open. It's great. The course is perfect. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 30:26.

Levy Trail

It's 88°F, with a RealFeel® of 97, at 10:43 a.m. I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete three miles on the Levy Trail a few minutes ago in 39:25, with splits of 13:41, 12:49, and 12:55.

PROFESSOR PETE'S U.S. OPEN SILVER BULLET LOCK OF A LIFETIME
Merion is short. Wedge shots will decide it, and everyone who plays the U.S. Open is good with their wedges. Consequently, I think it's likely this will be one of those Opens won by a guy no one's ever heard of, like Steve Jones back in 1996 (even Jones had no idea who he was; I'll never forget how he kept saying, "I don't know.". ...and, "Your guess is as good as mine. ..." every time someone asked him who he was). My pick is Jordan Speith. He'll win, and that'll be it for him*
*PP has never successfully picked a long-shot winner in golf, or any other sport

Cook's Landing

The weather's turned ugly. It felt as though we were walking through egg drop soup this morning. We went about six miles along the River Trail and around the Burns Park soccer fields. We were out for a little over two hours, but Bill Brass and I spent twenty minutes of that sitting in the shade, waiting for two of his oatmeal candy bars to elevate my blood glucose. I got particularly wobbly, and one tube of Gu was inadequate. I'm fine now. Brass was good company. He remained perfectly calm, as I expected.

Levy Trail/Levy Trail intervals

I walked the Levy Trail this morning in 30:15, and this afternoon did 16X200 meters on the trail, with forty-five second intervals, in 59.8, 63.6, 66.3, 63.5, 61.2, 62.3, 63.1, 64.7, 64.8, 66.2, 64.3, 65.2, 64.5, 63.4, 64.6, and 63.4, or an average of 63.8. I walked and jogged about three quarters of a mile warming up and down, and probably covered about fifty yards on those intervals. It's hot out, but there's nice shade on the trail in the afternoon.

Oh. I think the dog in the Overheard is a chiuahua. A tough little barrel-chested chiuahua. She's gorgeous in profile, like a thoroughbred.

OVERHEARD
"Good thing she small."
—big ol', friendly woman on the Levy Trail, talking about a tiny little I-don't-know-what dog who loves to bark and act as if she chasing people. The dog has a perfect physique, packed into about six pounds, and is as pretty as dogs get. She's become a beloved regular

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 29:42, and this evening  jogged and walked forty-five minutes with the Hash from Alsopp Park. I'd say I went about three and a half miles.

OVERHEARD
"I like my shoes built on a trail platform."
—woman talking to Jim Sweatt on the Kitten Smacker course

Kitten Smacker

PARON, Ark.—I was a little disappointed to have run the 2013 Kitten Smacker only 14:28 faster than last year, because it felt a lot faster. It seemed roughly nineteen and a half times easier. I finished the 12.47-mile race in 2:54:08, or at about a 13:58 pace. The weather was nice. My $26 shoes worked as well as any I've worn. I'm pleased.

PROFESSOR PETE'S LOCK OF A LIFETIME
Load up on Revolutionary. He will win the Belmont Stakes, I guarantee.*
*PP hasn't successfully picked a winner in a Triple Crown race since Smarty Jones in the 2004 Preakness Stakes. Since then, he is 0 for 27

Levy Trail

I walked and jogged two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 27:27. It's dry today, and they say it will continue through tomorrow's Kitten Smacker. We'll see. At 5:46 p.m., it's still nice, 81°F with a RealFeel® of 80, however that's possible. I just got in from a two-mile walk on the Levy Trail in 32:29.

North Little Rock High/Levy Trail

My legs are at least temporarily calibrated for measurements. If I walk at a 15-min./mile pace, it takes me 113 strides to cover 100 meters. I walked two miles around the North Little Rock High track this morning in 38:08, with lots of stops and starts to gauge my instruments (legs). Then I spent about twenty minutes defacing public property, by spray-painting three, four-inch long, one-inch wide stripes 200 meters apart on the Levy Trail. I can now do 200-, 400-, 600-, and 800-meter intervals on the trail, and this evening I did 8X200, with forty-five second intervals, in 63.9, 65.5, 65.1, 61.9, 58.0, 57.6, 60.6, and 58.0. Counting jogs and walks up and down, and the interval walks, I covered about three miles.

OVERHEARD
"I told 'em, 'Well then, why don't y'all just go ahead and keep it? It ain't no good to me.' "
—clerk at Stanley Hardware, speaking about a product for which Hobby Lobby refused to give him a refund. He told me the story as evidence to support his thought that I should not go there for spray paint

Burns Park Loop/Levy Trail

I did two laps of the Burns Park Loop this morning, 10.4 miles, in 2:49:09, with laps of 1:31:44, and 1:17:25. I walked all of the first lap with the Bill Brass and the Gimblets, Sandy Venable, and Hugh, and walked and jogged the second lap alone. I was tired at the end, so have decided to commit to only the Kitten Smacker this Saturday, which I believe is about 13 miles. My $26 shoes again felt great.

This evening I walked a little over two miles, maybe 2.2, on the Levy Trail. I don't know my time, but I'd say I went through two in about 32 minutes, maybe a bit faster. I ran into an old friend of mine from the paper named Sonny Rhodes. He's five or six years older than I am, and now teaches at UALR. He was running, said he'd lost 30 pounds, did a 2:40 half-marathon and wants to break five hours next year for the marathon. He walked all the way back to my house with me before he took off again. That was a pleasure. Sonny was always one of my favorites of the non-sports people.

Levy Trail/Levy Trail

I jogged almost exactly .85 miles in 9:30 to get to the southern tip of the Levy Trail, where I met Bill Brass and the Gimblets (their new album comes out next month, by the way). We then walked two miles toward Camp Robinson, turned around and jogged 1.5 miles in just under eighteen minutes, and walked the last half mile for a warmdown. I was out for a total of 1:12:44. This afternoon, starting at about 4:45, I walked and jogged two miles on the Levy Trail in 23:55. I felt fantastic, and I'm giving a good bit of the credit to my new shoes. They're called Hoax. They're made by LA Gear. They cost, with tax, $26. I saw them in Academy Sports today. They looked like my kind of shoe, firm, light, like a hybrid racer/trainer. I thought it was too much to hope for, but ran around the store and loved them. We'll see how they hold up (though, heck, if they wear out four times faster than my other shoes, I'd still break even). They look fine. I'm, no kidding, thinking of ordering five or six pairs.

Levy Trail/Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 27:40. I started at about 7:30, and it was 58°F, in Levy, on June 3 for Christ's sake, and, hell, at 5:59 p.m., the RealFeel® is only 81. There's a breeze on my front porch and it feels downright cool out here. If global warming means Levy becomes part of the high plains, then, as far as I'm concerned, those people in Peking can burn all the fucking coal they want. Late this afternoon I alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks to complete the Park Hill Loop in 59:22, with splits of 12:24, 12:25, 11:41, 12:09, and 10:43. I finished fifteen minutes ago and my clothes are already dry (but don't worry; I know there'll be hell to pay by the end of the week).

OVERHEARD
"I told the guy at the funeral home, 'I'm spending entirely too much time down here.' "
—Jim Taylor, after I finished my walk this morning. He said fourteen members of his family have died in the last fifteen years. I walked into my house, took a shower, put on my newest suit for Mrs. Taylor's memorial service, and called the North Little Rock Police Department

"That's one of the things white people do, talk about their tans. You know, they talk about their tans, and they like to say they don't have a TV."
—Carla Hall, an African American, and one of the hosts of the ABC food show The Chew*

*to continue this theme, here's something I found the morning after this entry from the Website stuffwhitepeoplelike.com (by the way, I'm not picking on anyone in particular who doesn't have a TV or didn't used to have a TV. It's just that I'd never thought of this as being a white-person thing. Recently, while in Hot Springs, I was told by at least three, maybe four, Hot Springs Hashers that they didn't have a TV, all at once, after I asked whether they'd seen a certain Miller Light commercial. Also, bear in mind that I like to tell people I don't watch much TV, except for sports, which is borderline bullshit, since, heck, I watched The Chew yesterday)

The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don’t have a TV.

On those lonely nights when white people wish they could be watching American Idol, Lost, or Grey’s Anatomy, they comfort themselves by thinking of how when people talk about the show tomorrow they can say “I didn’t see it, I don’t have a TV.”

It is effective in making other white people feel bad, and making themselves feel good about their life and life choices.

These people often fill their time by talking with other friends who don’t watch TV about how they don’t watch TV, looking at leaves, cooking, reading books about left wing politics, and going to concerts/protests/poetry slams.

Generally this makes them very boring and gives you very little to talk to them about.  It’s important that you NEVER suggest they are making a mistake or that there is a value to owning a TV.  You should just try to steer the conversation to allow them to talk about how they have better things to do than watch TV.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 25:29. After I finished, Michelle walked into her parent's front yard to tell me Mrs. Taylor died the day before yesterday. Rats. The memorial service is tomorrow. Late this afternoon I walked and jogged 32:45 with the Hash, from Holcomb's and Bridgette's house, not far from PizzaD'Action. Mostly I was with Z and BJ, those Cardinals fans.

Hayes Senior Center/Levy Trail

This is why I joined the Senior Center. It's rained all day, and isn't supposed to stop until next month, so I drove to the indoor track and walked and jogged two miles in 26:41. This evening I jogged two miles on the Levy Trail in 21:23. The weathermen were correct; the rain washed away the heat and humidity. At 8:25 p.m., it's 67°F with a RealFeel® of 67. It's 71.4 in my living room, and my air conditioner's been off since noon. I hope and expect to need a quilt tonight.

Oh, by the way, my legs felt great. I hope they feel like this next Saturday for the Catsmacker.