Alsopp Park Loop

I walked a loop from Alsopp Park with the Geezers this morning in 1:06:47. It was very hilly. Too hilly. Most of the watches and pocket phones said we went about 3.6 miles.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

Elsie considered the house hers, and Seale let her. Left to him, he knew it would be a dump and certainly not in a neighborhood like this one in Webster Groves. Decor wasn’t a word he knew until he went with Elsie to her parent’s house in Mobile for a week between his junior and senior years at Troy State and hers at Huntingdon College in Montgomery. Elsie told him it was eighteen-thousand square feet, which meant nothing to Seale. All he knew was that it was big enough to get lost in and that the whole time he was there he was afraid he might break something. Now, nearly forty years later, he lived in a house very much like it, minus about twelve-thousand square feet, where his only duties were to build fires in the winter and wipe up whatever he spilled.

St. Margaret's Loop/DFL

We Geezers walked a 6.3-mile loop from St. Margaret's Episcopal Church way the fuck out in west Little Rock this morning in 1:54:45.
The Fat Chicks defeated the Green Bay Packers, 110.38-89.81, to win the 2015 Cooper Bowl. The Packers are now 1-4 in Copper Bowl appearances. This was far and away my least disappointing performance. My battered team has run on fumes since mid-October.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

Karen knew she’d made the right choice the moment she saw Candy’s Fine Bar B-Q. Its large parking lot was packed. The restaurant was housed in a long, white building, and a row of smoked-stained windows stretched its length and combined with florescent lights to expose a festive, dingy interior. It was fifty yards off Madison Avenue in Granite City, Illinois, just across the river from St. Louis, and though Karen’s car was separated from it by sixty feet of wind, she could smell barbecue sauce and smoked meat. “Tell your dad we’ve found heaven,” Keith said. “It’s right here in Granite City.”

Hardcastle Loop/DFL

Man, it's miserable here. Cold and wet and windier than two motherfuckers. I walked the Hardcastle Loop this morning in 46:14.
It will take a lot for the DFL Packers to win the Cooper Bowl. With Monday Night Football to go, we trail the Fat Chicks, 97.03-81.60. Walt has a receiver who will play tonight for the Cincinnati Bengals. I have a receiver going for the Denver Broncos and a defensive back for Cincinnati. Yahoo® projects that Green Bay has a 23% chance of winning, which I would say is about right.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

“I guess. I ain’t complainin. Hell, you know the truth about this game. You cain’t win, because even when you do, you fuss that you didn’t bet ‘em right.” Keith watched his boss take a long drink of beer and thought he fit almost perfectly in this cavernous, dimly lighted, unpretentiously glorious hanger of a room. “Here’s something you need to know. They’s more people wantin you on they TV shows. All of them mornin programs, they all still want you. I think I told you that. And shit, you ain’t gonna believe this. I got a call last night, on goddang Thanksgivin, from Don Hewitt. Fuckin Don Hewitt. Do you know who he is?”

Maple Street Loop/DFL

I walked the Maple Street Loop through fairly cold rain this morning in 30:19. Seventeen minutes into the 2015 Cooper Bowl, the Green Bay Packers lead the Fat Chicks, 22.70-17.70, and are projected by Yahoo® to win, 117.46-96.74.*
*every Democrat Football League owner knows these projections are routinely ass backward.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

Green was alone. He listened to the traffic, wind whistling through the building's gutters, and echoes of Lardner’s doubts. He had dared not concede his own. He believed, or hoped, they were minimal, and perhaps merely composed from the residue of Lardner’s. He knew he wanted to believe Keith was what he claimed, because from the night he first watched and heard him on television, he had imagined him capable of significant contributions, perhaps nearly perfect for their cause. He knew that the idea of equality for homosexuals was scarcely considered by anyone outside of the gay community. A few liberals offered sympathy, but those capable of instituting change in politics and the courts were forever aware of their constituencies and the consequential accountability that demanded their caution. The trick then for Green and SAGA, as was always the case in these sorts of matters, was for someone or something to convince the public that change was right and necessary and in its interest and was furthermore, at best, its idea. Green thought Keith seemed like a man equipped to carry and deliver the messages needed for that end and to reveal their truth to anyone who watched him. Indeed, Keith seemed like an ideal candidate for political office, one capable of making a legitimate run, an almost unthinkable rarity in the gay and lesbian community. Green had already begun to daydream.  He could wait for this weekend to pass, but he knew the virtue of patience was easily mishandled. After all, he had once patiently watched men destroy his career. Now was the time to gather his resources, and Green suspected Keith Ingram was among them. He would call him again on Monday.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this afternoon in 48:38. At 3:24 p.m., it's 77°F in Levy. On the day after fucking Christmas. I'm thinking about buying a boat and water skiing this afternoon. I might go for a picnic. I'll bring a Slip N Slide® for the kids, you know, if it doesn't get too hot out.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

Keith had not known what to expect from this meeting. Karen said that Green and Lardner might ask him to help as a volunteer for SAGA, but he suspected considerably more would be proposed. Surely no organization would send its founder and leader halfway across the country to secure someone to hand out pamphlets or assist with rallies, and indeed as Green spoke Keith detected a tone of  request, an undertow of practiced persuasion. Green began by telling a story Keith had not heard or had forgotten, he wasn’t at first sure which, but to hear of the Stonewall riots rung a bell from somewhere, and as Green continued, a vague memory returned and began to grow until Keith was taken back to one of the many unimaginable scenes featured on television and in the newspapers during his college days of the late 1960s. Green told Keith that he had become an activist in the gay movement as a direct result of  one night in New York’s Greenwich Village near the Stonewall Inn. “Thousands joined us after that night, or that weekend,” Green said. “I believe Stonewall started all of this. It’s funny, because a lot of people have forgotten about it or were barely aware of it in the first place.”

Cooks Landing

I walked out for thirty minutes from Cooks Landing on the River Trail and back for a total of 59:07. At 9:50 a.m., it's 56°F in Levy, same as in San Diego at 7:50 a.m. Suddenly I'm all in for climate change. I plan to discharge cans of aerosol hairspray for the rest of the day.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet
Cam flicked a palm through the colt’s mane and in an urgent blur pulled the reins taught, and as suddenly as the colt had soared upward, his panic dispersed. He sauntered forward easily, and laughter from the men by the gate punctuated the moment. Keith noticed a smudge of icy mud on Cam’s cheek as she sighed and reached to pet the colt. She turned to Keith and tried to brush away the mud but smeared it into a coarse stripe across her cheek. “This guy’s a handful,” Cam said.

“I guess so. That was beautiful.”

The colt walked in a loop and carried Cam’s face close enough that Keith could see that her nose had begun to run. “Are you seeing anybody?” Cam said.

“Do what?” Keith wasn’t sure what she meant but felt hope flutter in his chest. “Am I seeing anyone?”

“I mean, are you dating anyone? Do you have a girlfriend?” Cam smiled and reached to wipe her nose. Keith would never forget.
“Well, I guess I do now,” he said.  “What would you like to do tonight?”

OVERHEARD
"Tennessee Williams might be a fine playwright, but that's a terrible place to keep a cat."
—Gracie Allen, from The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show on Antenna TV Network

Levy Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:58 as a warmup for a Christmas Eve trip to Nashville.
It's hard to explain, but the Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers are currently favored to beat the Fat Chicks, 114.89-103.07.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet
As he drove toward Karen’s, fifteen minutes away, Keith remembered when he would’ve daydreamed for weeks about anyone like the makeup girl, back when times were nothing like this, before he began to live his lies on national television. He wondered how much longer this could go on. He knew he would have to find an escape. Bill Seale and Karen would laugh years later when they reminded him of the scenario he created in which he parachuted like D.B. Cooper from his flight to New York.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South tonight in 32:54. It's warmer than Florida here. This, for my money, is what global warming is all about.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet
The makeup girl stepped up and brushed more powder across Keith’s nose. He watched her reach to sweep blonde bangs from her eyes. She winked, and in that moment he recognized her as someone long familiar with these matters, perfectly at ease with them. It seemed as if her job was to request he dismiss his concern. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You’ll be fine.”

Two Rivers Park/DFL

We Geezers walked through Two Rivers Park this morning for 1:31:30. The group consisted of 15 people, by far a record turnout.
In a great upset, the DFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Complete Sellouts, 98.87-91.02. It was the first time this season that the Sellouts scored fewer than 100 points. We advance to our fifth Cooper Bowl and our fourth in the last five seasons. We will play Walt Webb's Fat Chicks.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

Bill Seale’s desk looked like most newspapermen’s, covered with piles of old mail and press releases and spiral notebooks, at least a dozen disheveled and tattered yellow legal pads, and a scattering of books and cheap ballpoint pens. Only a word processor emerged from the debris. Wedged in front of Seale’s large, soft leather chair were two square feet of work space that accommodated a keyboard and telephone. Dozens of prizes decorated the walls. His Pulitzer hung between a community service plaque awarded by the Girl Scouts and Seale’s diploma from Troy State Teacher’s College.

Levy Trail North/DFL

It's wet, soggy, and cold this morning. I walked Levy Trail North in 32:06.
The DFL Green Bay Packers lead the Complete Sellouts, 89.38-88.79. We have a defensive player and a running back going in Monday Night Football. The Sellouts have a wide receiver. Yahoo® projects that we will win, 105.00-103.74, but I'm more skeptical than two motherfuckers. The NFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Oakland Raiders, 30-20, to assure themselves a place in the playoffs.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet

Karen took the roll from Keith, tore off a sheet and dropped it in her lap. “Well, to tell you the truth, it’s pretty simple,” she said. “All you have to do is remember these three things. First, get the best ingredients you can afford, or in this case, the best looking steaks at Schnucks. Next, stay patient. Never look for shortcuts, because there aren’t any. And then finally, make sure you love the people you’re cooking for.” Karen paused until Keith looked up from his plate. “Do those three things and everything you cook will be delicious, every time, guaranteed. It never fails.”

Keith pulled an asparagus spear through oil and salt and was suddenly warmed by the thought that Karen had just said she loved him. “That combination would work for just about anything, wouldn’t it?” he said.

“It would, yes. It always has.”

Levy Trail 5K/DFL

It took me 59:47 to mark the Sweet Baby Jesus Memorial 4.96K Race to Hell and Back this morning on the Levy Trail 5K course. Part of that time was spent in the parking lot of the Levy Church of Christ as I explained to a classically friendly Harding sort of man what the fuck in christ's name I was doing.
Through the first two games of the week, the Democrat Football League Packers have played their long-shot chance about as well as possible. We currently lead 31.21-26.45 but are 6.86-point underdogs to the Complete Sellouts. They are the No. 1 seed and have won five Cooper Bowls. We are the No. 6 seed and have won one Cooper Bowl. If we win, it would be a fantastic upset (and I surely don't expect to. I'm the sort who stabs people who believe in destiny), but I have had spectacular luck replacing my injured superstars with guys no one had heard of before the season started. We'll see how they do today and tomorrow night.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet
And there was the matter of his lie. He recalled its origin, based on a conversation overheard the previous season between writers in the Texas Stadium press box. It was during a game between Dallas and St. Louis when Keith still wrote for a paper in Little Rock. One of the writers, from St. Louis, was seated a row away. “No, I’m not kidding,” he said.  “The paper’s trying to hire a gay sportswriter. Apparently our publisher’s wife is big into gay rights or something. Anyway, Bill Seale, he’s the publisher, funny as hell, kind of a redneck from Alabama and the last guy on earth you’d think would want to hire a gay sportswriter, but that’s what he’s doing. He blames his wife. He said, ‘I ain’t got no choice.’ ”

Poplar Street Loop

I walked two laps of the Poplar Street Loop this morning to complete three miles in 49:48. I finished the one-mile laps in 17:01 and 16:56. It was 31°F when I started. It is bright blue out. Tomorrow should present nearly perfect weather for the Sweet Baby Jesus Memorial 4.96K Race to Hell and Back.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet
Despite the danger, an incongruous and perhaps perilous calm commanded Keith’s senses. He knew he needed up and turned to look for leverage. He reached for a locker handle and stood in time to see Carmichael lunge again, face down, and in that instant flashed back to a punch he had thrown as a child, boxing with his father in their backyard. As then, Keith cocked his right arm and released an uppercut directly to the mouth of the man before him. He heard and felt a crack and watched Carmichael drop directly to the floor. Keith was suddenly aware of fright and pain and an unfamiliar sense of pleasure, all of which folded into an emotion that dissolved the moment it formed. Everyone around him looked shocked.

Levy Trail 5K/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail 5K through a RealFeel® of 33°F this morning in 47:44 and went three miles in 46:21.
The Democrat Football League playoff semifinal game between the Green Bay Packers and the Complete Sellouts began last night. The Sellouts had Tampa Bay's defense, which surrendered 31 points to St. Louis and consequently netted the Sellouts one measly point. Things started well for the Packers, who are approximately 15-point underdogs.

Paragraph(s) of the day from A Different Closet
Chapter 1

It was always easy for Keith Ingram to isolate the first hint of his imminent catastrophe, which came on a day one of his many stories critical of St. Louis’s professional football team was published in the Post-Dispatch. The story focused on the team’s porous defense and appeared on the Wednesday before the twelfth game of the 1985 season. Keith suspected it would anger at least a few of the players, but his only true fear involved a perpetually irate defensive back named A.J. Carmichael. He found his concern justified when he walked into the St. Louis locker room that afternoon and heard Carmichael say to no one in particular, “I’d like to know who lets these fags come in here.”

Burns Park Loop

We Geezers walked the the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:46:12. Ron and Elaine Gimblet are back after three weeks in Arizona, but they along with Bob McKinney and Rosemary Boggs quit early. Ann Kell, Sandy Venable and I walked ahead almost from the start.

Maumelle/Humpin' Hash

We Geezers walked out and back from a place called Morningside Bagel on Maumelle Blvd. this morning for 1:16:42.
I jogged and walked for a total of 42:40 over about three hours on a pub crawl with the Humpin' Hash tonight, each of us dressed in various degrees of a Christmas theme. We started at E.J.'s and went to Stone's Throw, a place I can't remember the name of, the Capitol Hotel, and back to E.J.'s.

Lakewood Lake No. 3/Maple Street Loop

We Geezers walked the Lakewood Lake No. 3 Loop this morning in 1:18:35.
This evening I walked the Maple Street Loop in 36:08. I didn't realize until I finished and sat down on my front porch that I was more hypoglycemic than two motherfuckers.

Hardcastle Loop/DFL

I can't tell you how good I felt this morning as I walked the Hardcastle Loop in 44:14. According to my front-porch thermometer, it's 53°F, the coolest its been here in at least a week.
There was a big celebration in Levy last night. The Democrat Football League Packers pulled off a wonderful upset to qualify for the DFL semifinals for the seventh consecutive season with what is clearly our weakest team since 2007. Everything fell into place, in part due to luck. For instance, Krup's Kids had a running back in Sunday Night Football who looked as if he might tack on enough points to send my team to one of those big communal showers, but he hurt his knee midway through the second quarter and was ruled out at halftime. We won, 100.47-87.95. Next week we'll play the Cavemen (who are one of the four remaining original DFL teams, along with the Packers, Krup's Kids, and Walt's Fat Chicks).
I had to walk around quite a few overturned cars on the Hardcastle Loop. There were signs of looting, and empty beer cans and liquor bottles everywhere.
The NFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Cowboys, 28-7, and at 9-4 are back in first place in the NFC North Division.

Maple Street Loop/Hash/DFL

I walked the Maple Street Loop through a drizzle this morning in 32:54. My feet hurt.
They felt much better this afternoon as I walked for 42:59 with Christine on Lisa's Hash run from the parking lot of the old Western Hills Country Club. The area is now called Western Hills Park. They have mowed the fairways and it's a nice place to run now. Lovely, really. It poured rain the whole time we were out. Now I'm watching the NFL Packers play the Dallas Cowpussies.
The DFL Green Bay Packers are, ten minutes before our games kickoff, 14.91-point underdogs to Krup's Kids, We'll need some luck.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime in 30:16, wearing my orange, Nashville Scrappers T-shirt, wondering why the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette thinks I can write an unbiased story about the Nashville Scrappers's Class 4A state championship game with Prairie Grove tonight.

PETE PERKINS

It was clear that the Prairie Groves Tigers’ best chance for victory was to keep its offense on the field and consequently the ball from the Nashville Scrappers' quarterback.

Ultimately they couldn’t, but Prairie Grove kept the ball for the vast majority of the second quarter and led by a point at halftime. “We were worried,” said Nashville senior defensive end Billy Stewart, who had 24 sacks for the season, including one against Prairie Grove. “But we talked about it at halftime. We made some adjustments and came out in the second half ready to go.”

By the end, Nashville senior quarterback Leonard Snell had rushed for six touchdowns and 230 yards to lead the Scrappers to a 39-20 victory over Prairie Grove in the Class 4A state championship game at War Memorial Stadium on Saturday night, and it looked at first as if it would be easy for Snell. He gained 95 yards and scored three touchdowns in the first quarter and Nashville led 19-8, but Prairie Grove’s offense controlled the second quarter with equal ease. They kept possession for 9 minutes, 21 seconds, limiting Snell to 24 yards, and Prairie Grove led at halftime, 20-19.

“We’ve been a second half team all year,” first-year Nashville Coach Mike Volarvich said. “At halftime I told our team, ‘Quarters can’t go like that. We have to get the ball in the end zone.’ I can’t say enough about our defense in the second half. They stepped up and we were just dominant.”

Prairie Grove’s third possession of the game started at its 27 with 1:07 left in the first quarter. It ended 13 plays later with a 1-yard touchdown run by senior running back Blake Faulk that cut Nashville’s lead to 19-14 with 7:15 left before halftime.

Three plays and a punt for Nashville on its next possession led to a 12-play, 79-yard drive for Prairie Grove that lasted nearly five minutes and gave the Tigers a 20-19 lead after Faulk’s 5-yard touchdown run with 1:46 left in the second quarter.

Faulk rushed for 119 yards in the first half. He completed the game with 135.

“Their quarterback is a great player,” Faulk said. “We knew that, and we knew we had to do anything we could to keep the ball out of his hands, but we just couldn’t get it going in the second half. Nashville’s defense really stepped it up.”

"Our guys on defense have been getting me the ball all season," Snell said. "Everything we do on offense is because of them."

That was never more evident than on Prairie Grove’s first play of the second half.

After Nashville had taken a 25-20 lead on a 5-yard touchdown run by Snell to start the third quarter, Prairie Grove got the ball at its 20. On first down, senior defensive end Troy Thomas spun Faulk around near the line of scrimmage and tripped him with his hands for a 4-yard loss. Prairie Grove punted after two more plays, and Nashville used a total of 50 seconds to take a 32-20 lead after Snell’s fifth touchdown.

Thomas said it took him most of the first half to adjust to Prairie Grove’s Wing-T Offense. He said he was ready the first time he saw Faulk with the ball.

“In that offense, your lineman is telling you where the ball is going to go every time,” Thomas said. “By the second half, the ball carrier was just eye candy for me in the backfield. We got that halftime break, and then we just came out and did our thing.”

“Troy Thomas really came out to play tonight,” Nashville defensive coordinator Brad Chesshir said. “It was one of those deals where he was a senior, and it was his last game, and he gave it everything he had.”

Prairie Grove had 230 yards of offense in the first half. In the second, it had 89.

“We came out in the second half and shut them down,” Chesshir said. “We made a few minor adjustments, but it wasn’t really about schematic things. It was just about our guys going out and giving it everything they had.”

Levy Ghetto Cat Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Ghetto Loop this afternoon in 32:44.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers are now 9.00-point underdogs to Krup's Kids in the DFL quarterfinals. What's cool is that all of ours and Krup's Kids's players will play Sunday. Our game will start at noon and end at approximately 6:30 p.m.

The Ranch/DFL

Bob McKinney lives in a fancy neighborhood way out Highway 10 called The Ranch. I walked near there with the Geezers, led by Bob across marshes and swamps and maybe a half mile of trails this morning for 58:03. We covered a total of 2.36 miles.
The DFL Packers's chance keeps improving according to the experts. We are now 9.70 underdogs to Krup's Kids.

Fort Roots Loop/DFL

The Fort Roots Loop starts in the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot, goes to the River Trail, up to and across Fort Roots, back down to the River Trail, and the roughly two miles back to Burns Park. It covers 5.6 miles according the Brass' watch. I walked it with five other Geezers this morning in 1:37:41.
This is the farthest I have gone in a while and was pleased to have felt energetic the entire way. A woman I dated a couple of times nearly thirty years ago walked with us this morning. Her name is Ann Kell; she's a former Hasher who moved away with her Hasher husband in, I believe, 1989. She moved back to Little Rock from Seattle about two months ago after she and her husband separated. It was nice to see her again.
The DFL Packers changed its team defense from the Buffalo Bills's to the New York Jets's and are now 10.38 point underdogs to Krup's Kids. We have a chance.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who speaks or writes for a living who uses the pronoun "that" instead of "who" when referring to a person, as in: "He's the man that holds the record."

Orange Street Loop/DFL

I walked the Orange Street Loop tonight in 46:00.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers defeated the Turtle Creek Skins, 98.82-57.92, and outscored 546 Posse by 21.43 points to qualify for the sixth and final spot in the DFL playoffs. We play Krup's Kids in the first round and are currently 16.74-point underdogs.

Burns Park Loop/DFL

I walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:43:57.
Did anyone else watch Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers last night? He led the NFL Packers to one of the more improbable comeback victories I have watched, right up there in my lifetime Top 20 (counting all games, not just those played by the Packers). Plus he turned the DFL Packers from 8.85-point underdogs to 9.58-point favorites in their battle for the final playoff spot with 546 Posse.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this evening in 32:19.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why is CBS sportscaster Jim Nance not celebrated for the stature he has achieved despite his significant intellectual disability?

Levy Trail Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this evening in 32:16.
The DFL and NFL Green Bay Packers have struggled lately. The DFL version has lost two consecutive games and will have to win this coming weekend and hope the 546 Posse does not outscore it by more than 3.94 points. It does not look good. Both a six-year run of semifinal appearances and an eight-year run in the playoffs are in jeopardy. The NFL Packers, after a 6-0 start, are now 7-4. It seems as if they have decided to suck dicks rather than play football.
Watch the film. There's a pretty good chance Jim "That's What Love is All About" Nance won't bring it up.