Downtown Little Rock

Bob McKinney guided an extra large group of Geezers on a tour of downtown Little Rock this morning, beginning and ending at the Root Cafe on the south side of I-30 on Main Street. We were out for 1:34:10, and probably went somewhere between 2.5 and 3 miles. We saw an old brick lawyer's office which was home to an Arkansas governor in the mid 1800's, a violin maker's shop, and a few old stores and stuff. I was underdressed and got pretty cold. The Root Cafe looks fantastic, with a perfect menu and lots petepretty employees and customers, but it was far too crowed with the dozen Geezers so I came home.

Levy Trail North

For the purpose of adding variety to my headlines and to demonstrate to my readers that I don't do the same thing every goddamn day, I will from this point designate whether I began my Levy Trail jaunts headed north, as I did this afternoon, or south. The North route goes between the big Church of Christ close to John Kelly's house and the ghetto apartments. The South goes past the Family Dollar store and Senor Tequilas.
I walked Levy Trail North today in 33:01.

Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Chandler Street Loop tonight in 46:30. I went this late because I think it might help me stay awake to watch the Arkansas Razorbacks play the Texas Longhorns in the Texas Bowl tonight. Since the game is on ESPN, I will have to wait until it's over before I can watch it on ESPN's replay Website. It probably won't start for me until about 11:30 p.m.
By the way, I tried this for the Arkansas-LSU game in November. It knew the game was over, and had it cued up and ready to go. But before I started it, I drove to a nearby minimart to buy beer. When I walked in, everyone was giving everyone high-fives over the great Razorback victory. Lesson learned.

OVERHEARD
"Are you a scarf person?"
— teenage girl to her teenage boyfriend at Walmart. I believe most of my readers can imagine how the boy from North Little Rock reacted

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 33:53. It's 39°F, and I walked through about five minutes of very light snow.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning through steady rain in 45:54.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says or writes, "...true freshman"

OVERHEARD
"Here's the problem: If I buy this bag, it will be gone by dark. I mean, dark today."
 — man in line at Kroger, rummaging through a container of several types of Christmas Hershey's Kisses, and holding up a bag of the caramel-filled

Levy Trail Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Trail Loop this evening in 26:18. It was comfortably cool when I began, but, fuck, it started raining just as I turned back toward home near the former Dixie Pig building. I ran most of the way back, in blue jeans and beat up old shoes.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "I don't care what people think about me."

Levy Trail Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 30:29. Afterward I ate with Mom in Nashville and Dad and Lillian in Hot Springs, and fell head over heels for a cashier at the Hot Springs Books-A-Million.
The Green Bay Packers lost the Democrat Football League third-place game to the 546 Posse, 89.12-86.79.

Orange Street Loop/DFL

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop through cold drizzle in 40:02, with splits of 13:33, 13:15, and 13:14.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers trail the 546 Posse 89.12-72.98 in our third-place game. I have Denver Broncos wide receiver going in Cincinnati tonight. The Posse has Denver defensive lineman Von Miller. Even if Miller doesn't get a sack, Thomas will have to have very good game. He has scored more than 16.15 points I need in five out of twelve games. Players get 4 points for a sack.

Results of the Sweet Baby Jesus Christ Memorial 2K race to Chili Dogs in Hell and Back*
MEN
1. Ken Starnes, 7:46
2. Josh Madison, 8:16
3. David Meroney, 8:46
WOMEN
1. Lacey Kelly, 10:04
2. Holcomb Mosely, 10:05
3. Petra Williams, 10:16
*Hashers consumed thirty-six quarter-pound chili dogs, including thirteen cans of chili. Tom Zaloudek ate four. Each were about six-hundred calories. They also drank four thirty-packs, and all but seven cans of a fifth. Pete still needs to sweep up a pile of glass between the smaller, wood-framed chair and the front window. Misty kicked over a blue vase as Santa Claus gave away presents.

Sweet Baby Jesus Christ Memorial 2K Race to Chili Dogs in Hell and Back

I marked the Sweet Baby Jesus Christ Memorial 2K Race to Chili Dogs in Hell and Back course this morning, and walked it again to get some extra mileage. A 2K is approximately 1.24 miles. Mine might be closer to 1.3. It looks as though we'll have a beautiful day to watch football, drink beer, eat at total of 43 quarter-pound chili dogs, and run and walk.

Levy

I walked for 36:18 early this afternoon, in part to get a feel for my 2K Hash race tomorrow.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 30:56.

OVERHEARD
"They were literally taking money out of the mouths of hungry children."
—state prosecutor on three women from the Department of Human Services who are accused of stealing money from a summer lunch program

River Trail/DFL

I walked with the Geezers for 1:26:36, out and back on the River Trail from Burns Park this morning. More later. Coop just pulled up for a trip to Craig's.
For the first time, I had the hot ribs. They tasted the same as the medium, nearly perfect.
The Ratpackers defeated the Green Bay Packers, 112.40-83.85.

OVERHEARD
"What does Jayme like to drink? Do I need to buy a blender, because I will. Heck, I'll buy two if that's what it takes."
—Pete, after Elaine said she would bring Jayme to my Christmas run this Sunday, moments after Pete repeated something Susie said years ago about how most women were no more than four or five drinks from going either way

Orange Street Loop/DFL

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop this afternoon in 41:11.
The DFL Green Bay Packers are probably fucked. We currently trail the Ratpackers 108.40-71.95 in the Cooper Bowl semifinals. My players spent most of Sunday afternoon sleeping. The Ratpackers have a crappy defensive player for the Bears going in Monday Night Football. We have New Orleans running back Mark Ingram. He's good, but rarely great. I'd say our chances of winning are about one in a hundred fifty-seven.

Levy Trail/DFL

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 32:06 and didn't see the cat, or cats.
The Ratpackers lead the Green Bay Packers in the Democrat Football League playoff semifinals 3.30-0 after Thursday Night Football. No one played for the Packers, and some running back for the St. Louis Rams underachieved for the Ratpackers. I am currently favored by Yahoo, with an estimated final result of 132.51-108.01. Realistically, the Ratpackers have played better than the Packers for the last several weeks. I am not confident. We played these guys back in October and got lucky to hold on for a 122.32-121.12 victory.

OVERHEARD
"Is the bell-ringer on crack or what?"
— Kroger clerk to another clerk about the Salvation Army Christmas woman's nearly maniacal bell ringing

Levy Trail

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 29:43 and met siblings or more likely step siblings of Chuck II. One was long-haired with fewer spots and the other white with short hair. They were fit, like Chuck, but also a bit shyer. They came to be petted, but not without encouragement. Maybe they could sense that I was hungrier than two Chinamen.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:17 and considered adopting a cat (seriously, I did, though I need another cat like I need someone to stab me in the neck). I was on my way back, about two-hundred yards north of 38th Street, when I noticed a pile of fur to my left, ten feet off the trail. I thought it was a cat but wasn't sure until it turned to look at me. The moment it did, it ran directly toward me, meowing affectionately, and rubbed up against my left leg. It was white with black spots randomly splashed across it, with fur about the length of Samantha's. I would guess it was a few months old, and wonder if I will see it again. Or if it will go the way of the black Levy ghetto cat from the fall of 2009.

Levy Trail

The Geezers and I walked 4.4 miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 1:23:58. I found out that Susie broke up with Jayme last week and will move with her new girlfriend to North Carolina on Dec. 20.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "It's not in their [or his or her] DNA"

Maple Street Loop

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Maple Street Loop this morning in 25:43.
This afternoon I walked with Elaine Gimblet and B.J. for 1:09:39 on Petra's Hash run along the Little Rock side of the Arkansas River. I had enormous fun.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "Have a blessed day"

Levy Trail

I walked and jogged three miles on the Levy Trail late this afternoon in 41:23.

Levy Trail

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail through steady rain in 26:46. There's a dog on the trail who's appeared in the last month or so. He's large and the color of dark chocolate, and funny. About half the time I run by his house, like today, he's on the trail and barking as though he's frightened of me. This always happens if he's out; at first he takes an aggressive posture, but as I get close, he turns away and runs and jumps over the nearest fence and then over however many others it takes him to get back to his house, always leaving a trail of barking dogs behind. I wonder how long it'll be before he knows I'm just as scared as he.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail tonight in 30:57.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop this afternoon through a steady drizzle in 43:31.

Levy Trail/DFL

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 30:06.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Oklahoma Joes, 138.12-82.39, to complete the regular season in second place at 11-2. We will take next week off and play in the semifinal round the next week. The NFL Packers defeated the New England Patriats, 26-21.

Orange Street Loop

It's 68°F in Levy. I walked the Orange Street Loop in a T-shirt and short pants in 43:41. Exactly three people asked me if I were "walking off Thanksgiving," including a pretty woman on Maple Street I had never seen before. I felt great every easy step of the way.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 29:06.

Levy Trail/DFL

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail early this afternoon in 31:57.
The DFL Green Bay Packers held on last night to a narrow victory over Krup's Kids, and are nevertheless still invited to eat with the Krupsaws on Thursday. We won, 142.31-138.35, and are almost certain to finish in second place after next week's games. That will put the Packers in the DFL semifinals for the sixth consecutive season.

OVERHEARD
"I don't think there is anyone in America who doesn't know who Katy Perry is, unless they've been living with their head in the sand."
—nfl.com podcast fellow talking about Katy Perry, recently signed to star at halftime of next February's Super Bowl. Pete did not then know who Katy Perry was. He knows now

33rd Street Loop

I walked the 33rd Street Loop this evening in 1:18:39.
The DFL Green Bay Packers lead Krup's Kids 126.45-103.43. The Packers have a New Orleans running back going tonight, and the Kids have a New Orleans tight end and wide receiver going. Yahoo predicts the Packers will win 147.09-130.37. The NFL Packers were pushed much more than expected, but managed to defeat the Minnesota Vikings 24-21.

Park Hill Loop

I walked the Levy Trail from my couch to Camp Robinson and back this morning in 1:20:55.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this afternoon in 30:44.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 26:04.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says core in reference to exercise

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this evening in 31:28.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated K-Squad 118.51-103.47. They're 9-2 and assured a spot in the playoffs. There are two regular-season games left. The Packers play their arch-rival Krup's Kids beginning Thursday night.

OVERHEARD
"If Obama does what he wants to do, I believe we will have a civil war."
—recording of brainwashed man from the Tea Party, made the day after the 2012 presidential election and played on a PBS program called Town Hall

Orange Street Loop/DFL

I walked the Orange Street Loop late this afternoon in 46:24.
The DFL and NFL Green Bay Packers continued their dominant ways this weekend. The DFL Packers lead K-Squad 114.51-103.47. It could get a bit worse, depending how Tennessee's defense does against Pittsburgh tonight. The NFL Packers defeated the Philadelphia Eagles 53-20 yesterday. Both teams currently look like the best in their leagues.

Burns Park Loop

This is a perfect morning for the Burns Park Loop. It's cold and wet and dark gray. The leaves reached their fall-color peak at about 9:30 as I walked and jogged the loop in 1:30:13.

OVERHEARD
"I'm trying not to spend all my money, but it's just too much fun."
—woman at Kroger as Pete shopped for frozen-pizza fixings for the coming Packers-Eagles game

Levy Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Levy Loop this afternoon in 27:10, and am watching the Alabama-Mississippi State game. I'm not sure who to cheer for, but guess I hope Mississippi State wins. Mostly I'm excited about the Green Bay Packers' game with the Philadelphia Eagles tomorrow afternoon. The TV people are plugging it hard, and for good reason. It should be a real test for both teams, and will imply significantly to both the NFL and DFL. This NFL Packers team is playing very well now, as is the DFL version. Both look as if they might be the best.

33rd Street Loop/DFL

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the 33rd Street Loop this afternoon in 1:08:14. My splits ranged from 13:20 and 14:09.
I failed to report that the DFL Green Bay Packers won their game last weekend over Americanzi, 128-23-53.06. The Packers got a shit load of unexpected points on Monday Night Football from a Philadelphia linebacker who had a career-high three-and-a-half sacks.

Orange Street Loop

This evening I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop in 41:01. My cold is, I believe, completely behind me. I feel pretty good.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 32:12. I am on my fourth day of cold symptoms, but believe this will be the final day I'll want to take cold and flu medicine.
The DFL Packers will go into Monday Night Football assured of victory for the first time in four weeks. They lead Americanzi, 114.23-53.06, and have a defensive player going tonight who might score a couple of points. Aaron Rodgers had a huge game last night to lead the NFL Packers to 55-14 victory over the Chicago Bears.

UAPB homecoming

PINE BLUFF—Some day I hope to take my readers to a UAPB homecoming game. It's kind of like a state fair on performance enhancing drugs. There are ribs, sausage, barbequed chicken, fried catfish, cole slaw, cornbread, loud music, bands playing, and people saying, "All right now," everywhere. The aroma of smoked, barbequed, and fried meat saturates about two square miles. Everything about it is fun.
I walked for 43:18 all around the enormous parking lot before the game, which UAPB lost to Prairie View A&M, 51-24, and stood out like a white guy at a UAPB homecoming game.

33rd Street

Just like last Friday, I was too uncomfortable today to complete the five-mile 33rd Street Loop. I cut it to three miles, completed in 33:43 with splits of 11:10, 11:14, and 11:19.

Orange Street Loop/levy Trail

I alternated one-minute runs withe four-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop in 39:08. My splits were 13:31, 12:44, and 12:53.
This afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 29:42. My legs felt lively for the first time since Sunday morning.

Orange Street Loop intervals

I did Orange Street Loop intervals this evening by alternating one-minute runs with one-minute walks for the middle two miles. I did a half-mile warmup and and ward down, and completed the loop in 35:06, with splits of 12:12, 11:30, and 11:24. I did the middle two miles in 11:33 and 11:27.

Maple Street Loop/DFL

I ran the Maple Street Loop this morning in 20:42, with splits of 10:32 and 10:10.
The DFL Packers held on for a 119.41-104.81 victory over the Cavemen, and are alone in second place, at 7-2, with four games left in the regular season.

Levy/Maple Street Loop/DFL

I didn't mention it yesterday, but those early-morning intervals were a bit difficult. After jogging and walking the first mile of the Orange Street Loop this morning in 12:39, I accepted the deadness of my legs and mostly walked for another fifteen minutes on the Levy Trail, with about three minutes of jogging thrown in. I was out 27:41 and probably went slightly over two miles.
Starting at about a quarter after five p.m., I walked the Maple Street Loop in 30:53.
The DFL Green Bay Packers lead the Cavemen, 119.41-104.28. All of our players are done. The Cavemen have one player left, an Indianapolis Colts receiver named Donte Moncrief. Yahoo predicts he will score six points tonight in Monday Night Football, but he scored nineteen last week. I could easily lose, or win. We'll see. If the Cavemen win, they will pass the Packers and move into second place. The Packers will drop to third. The NFL Packers had the weekend off.

35th Street Loop intervals/38th Street Loop

I alternated two-minute runs with one-minute walks for the middle three miles of the 35th Street Loop to complete the loop in 44:32. My splits were 11:02, 11:11, 10:55, and 11:24. I did the middle three in 31:54.
This evening, starting at about seven o'clock, I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Maple Street Loop in 27:02. I saw Ruth nearly a half mile from my house, almost to 38th Street, no more than a couple of hours after she ate behind my couch. That's the kind of range I used to see from Samantha.

Orange Street Loop

Once again I aborted a fitness outing. This morning I planned to do Orange Street Loop intervals, but stopped at two miles and walked home. I think I can count on one hand the times that I have been nauseous on a run, including today. Maybe it was that chicken-fried steak sandwich and all those fries I ate at Oaklawn yesterday. I did the two miles in 23:35.
Yesterday was one of the few times Tom and I both failed to cash a ticket. We bet on a total of twenty races. Rosie's filly Untapable won the distaff. Don't Tell Sophia was flying late, but finished half a length behind in second. Iotapa was third. Darn. Missed it by that much.

33rd Street Loop

I jogged the 33rd Street Loop's three-mile option this morning in 33:36, with splits of 11:10, 10:58, and 11:28. My legs did not feel quite dead. Perhaps inadequately fueled would fit. Tom Zaloudek and I plan to spend this afternoon and early evening at Oaklawn Park to bet the Friday card at Santa Anita Park, including the first four races of the 2014 Breeders' Cup. I also plan to eat a lot.

OVERHEARD
 "They just lies, and I'm tied of 'em. Ain't got time for 'em."
—woman on a cell phone at Kroger

DOCTOR PETE'S DEAD CINCH, LOCK OF A LIFETIME SILVER BULLET SPECIAL

Take everything you own to the nearest pawn shop, sell it, and take the money to your nearest race track or off-track gambling facility to bet it on Don't Tell Sophia (No. 7) to win the Breeders' Cup Distaff (Race 9 at Santa Anita Park). Sophia will come from way off the pace to crush heavily-favored Untapable and her hot, red-headed jockey Rosie Napravnik. In fact, Untapable will finish no better than third. With that in mind, bet the following $1 superfecta. 1) Don't Tell Sophia (No. 7); 2) Iotapa (3); 3) Close Hatches (10) and Untapable (11); 4) All. Cash this ticket, which will cost $14 (and should read 7/3/10+11/1+2+4+5+6+8+9), and meet me in Rio for big piles of meat and fried potatoes and all the Milwaukee's Best Light and porter in town
 

Levy Trail/38th Street Loop

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 41:54.
This evening I walked the 38th Street Loop in 33:24.

35th Street Loop intervals/Levy Loop

After a half-mile warmup of jogging and walking, I did the middle three miles of the 35th Street Loop by alternating five-minute runs with three-minute walks, then mostly jogged the final half mile. My splits for the whole loop, which I completed in 44:25, were 11:08, 11:57, 10:54, and 10:27. I finished the three miles of intervals in 32:10. I did a total of four five-minute runs. It interests me that I completed the loop forty-eight seconds faster than when I ran it nonstop on Saturday.
I walked the Levy Loop at dusk in 31:04.

OVERHEARD
"Looking good."
—both Charles and Linda, a couple who live in the house immediately north of the Chiropractic Clinic, as they walked their dog on Orange Street and I ran by them very close to the one-mile mark of the 35th Street Loop. It's the first time I remember hearing 'looking good' other than during an official race

Levy Loop-Mellene Street Loop/38th Street Loop/DFL

I felt almost fast this morning as I ran the Levy Loop in 20:25, with splits 10:18 and 10:07. Immediately afterward I jogged and walked the Mellene Street Loop in 13:15 to cover three miles in 33:59. A comfortable drizzle fell throughout.
This evening, through 59°F mist, I alternated one-minute jogs with one-minute walks to complete the 38th Street Loop in 24:38, with splits of 12:39 and 11:59.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated Trojan Men, 136.61-126.43, to advance to 6-2 and remain in second place. Green Bay trailed by forty-five points going into Sunday night, but got super performances for NFL Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers and New Orleans running back Mark Ingram (whose last name gave Pete the idea for Keith Ingram's, the protagonist of A Different Closet). The NFL Packers lost to the Saints, 44-23.

Levy Trail/Ghetto Cat Loop

Starting at about 1:30 this afternoon, I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 33:17.
I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this evening in 29:29.

Orange Street Loop intervals/Hash

To honor the first country to present an NFL quadruple-header on free television, and to increase my aerobic and anaerobic endurance, I alternated two-minute runs with one-minute walks this morning to complete the Orange Street Loop in 35:57, with splits of 11:43, 11:45, and 12:19. This was probably a little easier than it should've been, so I will probably wait until at least halftime of the Detroit Lions-Atlanta Falcons game—which began at 8:30 a.m. Central from London—to drive to Kroger for a package of bacon.
 I rarely take eagle trails, but took one this afternoon with the Hash, and regretted it shortly thereafter. We were on the bluff between the River Trail and Fort Roots, and ended up climbing a dangerously steep path that had most of us frightened. It was such that a fall would have led to injury at best, and perhaps death. I was out for 1:22:48, and probably didn't cover much more that three miles.

35th Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

This might have been my longest nonstop run since September of 2012, or possibly 2011. I jogged the 35th Street Loop this morning in 45:13. I'm interested in my splits, since I didn't look at my watch as I ran; they were 10:55, 11:29, 11:43, and 11:06. Those are more irregular than I expected, since I felt pretty much the same until the final half mile when fatigue crept in.
Tonight I walked the 38th Street Loop in 33:02.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop at lunchtime today in 33:59.

F Street Loop/Burns Park Loop/Levy Trail

I walked one lap of the F Street Loop very early this morning in 35:54. The F Street Loop was first blazed in November of last year. It's exactly a half mile from my driveway to its start and end on Sycamore Street. The loop is one mile, and goes south on Sycamore, east up into Park Hill on 33rd, north on Poplar, and west back into Levy on F and 35th Streets. I used it for hilly intervals for about three weeks last fall before I made them too difficult.
Starting at 9 a.m., I walked the Burns Park Loop with Ron and Elaine, their good friend Ben Spurlock (a former Hasher who moved to Springfield, Mo., at least twenty years ago), Bob McKinney, and Sandy Venable, in 1:43:40.
This evening, as a warmup for Thursday Night Football (in which Denver receiver Demaryius Thomas will play for the DFL Packers), I jogged, ran, and walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 26:42. I don't think I will make three-a-days a habit.

Orange Street Loop/Ridge Road Loop

This morning, starting at about 9 a.m., I jogged the Orange Street Loop in 31:47, with splits of 10:32, 10:40, and 10:35. This was the best I have felt on a nonstop run in a while, at least several months.
I walked the Ridge Road Loop this evening in 1:05:00, and stepped into my house four and a half minutes before the first pitch of Game 2.

Levy Trail Loop/38th Street Loop intervals/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 29:13.
This evening I did 38th Street Loop intervals, with a mile of alternating one-minute runs with one-minute walks between two half-mile jogs and walks. I completed the loop in 23:54, with splits of 11:20 and 12:34. I don't know what my time for the middle mile was, but I felt as if I were going fairly fast
Man, the DFL Green Bay Packers barely held on to defeat the Ratpackers, 122.32-121.12. It kept me interested in Monday Night Football until very late. The DFL Packers are now in second place at 5-2. The NFL Packers are also 5-2, and have looked great the last three weeks.

OVERHEARD
"Yeah, but I ain't the first person they done did that to before."
—dude on the Levy Trail to another dude, probably about getting cornholed at work or the DMV

"Shit, if I'd'a knowed that, I could'a went and bought some fuckin hot dogs."
—dude at Kroger

35th Street Loop/T.V. Hill Road

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the 35th Street Loop this morning in 51:16. My splits were 12:57, 13:08, 12:18, and 12:53. This felt pretty easy. The weather continues its spectacular run. As of yesterday, we've had ten consecutive days of highs between 69°F and 82, with lows in the 50s, except for two nights in the high 40s.
Thirty minutes after eating steaks tonight with Richard, Lilian, Jim, and Karen, I walked and jogged from Dad's house through the hillier-than-two-motherfuckers neighborhoods around it for 35:13. I'd say I went about two and a half miles.
The DFL Green Bay Packers lead the Ratpackers, 122.32-97.98. The Packers are done. The Ratpackers have Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le'Veon Bell going tonight, plus a defensive player. Yahoo predicts I have a sixty-seven percent chance of winning. I'd put it at about eighty.

Park Hill Loop/Hash

This morning I alternated easy, one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Park Hill Loop in 1:13:48, with splits between 15:07 and 14:01, and then argued Razorback football with Bobby Vint on his driveway for a solid half hour.
This afternoon I walked 2.4 miles with the Hash on the former Western Hills Country Club course, which runs along the southern edge of First Tee.

Levy Trail/Ghetto Cat Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 40:19. My legs feel fine today. Overall, I feel borderline light. If I can just keep from banging the fuck out of my ankles, knees, and hip joints while crawling from bed to the new refrigerator, I could be about to turn a corner.
This evening I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 29:22.

33rd Street Loop/Levy Trail

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks and increased the jogs by a minute and decreased the walks by the same each fifteen minutes to complete the 33rd Street Loop this morning in 1:02:57. My splits were 13:07, 12:50, 12:19, 12:28, and 12:23. My legs were dead, which explains why by the end I was running slower than I walked.
Late this afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:38.

OVERHEARD
"Did you hear some gun shots down there?"
—65-year-old man on the Levy Trail near Mexico Tequila. I told him I heard four shots I suspected came from a late-model black car close to the old Dixie Pig building. I was no more than a block away, and it was enough to encourage me to reroute

I PLAN TO STAB...
...non health professionals worried about ebola who don't live in or near central or southern Africa

38th Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

At 8:09 a.m., it's 47°F in Levy. I should've worn gloves. I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:26, and my hands still hurt a little. It's hard to type.
Tonight I jogged very slowly for a total of ten minutes and otherwise walked the Orange Street Loop in 47:45. If my back hurts later on, I promise I'll be too embarrassed to mention it.

Levy/Levy Trail Loop

I took a random, 1:14:15 walk through Levy this morning, primarily to burn calories for my first meal at the new Levy Waffle House.* Cooper is on his way to join me.
Early this evening I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:12, and then ate ribs at Sim's with the Humpin Hash (which decided not to run), and then went to the Arkansas State Fair for the first time since 2006.
Of my fifteen or so Fair trips since c. 1980, this was my least favorite. I believe it was the first time I had been there in a group larger than four, and unaccompanied by either a close friend or date.

*this was the first time I had eaten at a new Waffle House, which likely explains why our waitress seemed confused. The pork chops, however, tasted exactly like the best pork chops I have eaten, or like Waffle House pork chops everywhere

Orange Street Intervals/Levy Trail/DFL

I did Orange Street Intervals this morning and felt better than the last time I did them, on Wednesday, but completed the loop a mere three seconds faster, in 34:46. As before, I used the first half mile as a warmup and the last to warm down, and alternated one-minute runs with one-minute walks between. My overall splits were 11:49, 11:13, and 11:44. My interval splits with 11:10 and 11:01.
In retrospect I believe it will be a while before I do these more than once a week. They're hard.
My idiocy needs no further verification, but here's some anyway: Two days after I feared I had permanently damaged my lower back, I got up out of bed and ran intervals. Within an hour, my back was killing me.
It has, however, calmed down a lot and feels much better than it did several hours ago, and several hours after I hurt it Sunday. I'm not worried. Internet sources said the worst thing to do is spend the day in a chair or bed, and that seems about right. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this evening in 34:46, and feel fine. I might relax a bit for a few days.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers were defeated by the Complete Sellouts, 131.70-92.83, and dropped to fourth place at 4-2 with seven regular-season games to play. The top six teams make the playoffs.

Levy Trail/Hardcastle Loop/DFL

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 34:37.
Late this afternoon I walked the Hardcastle Loop in 46:50. I felt very good.
After tweaking the crap out of my back yesterday, and subsequently treating it with ice and ibuprofen, this morning I rated it at about 90%. After this evening's walk, it feels fine, almost as good as ever, no worse than my back frequently feels. I'm relieved.
The DFL Green Bay Packers got smoked. We trail the Complete Sellouts, 117.70-92.83. We're out of players. The Sellouts have San Francisco's defense going on Monday Night Football, so the score will get worse. The NFL Packers won a thrilling, 27-24 victory at the Miami Dolphins. Aaron Rodgers threw the winning touchdown pass with three seconds left.

Levy Trail

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete three miles on the Levy Trail at lunchtime in 43:39.

OVERHEARD
"It is, man. That's what I'm headed for right now."
—Twenty-five-year-old man, in blue jeans and a gray hoodie, to conclude the following conversation:

Pete: "Hey, man,"
Man: "Hey. It's a good day for walkin, ain't it?"
Pete: "Yeah, it is. It's also gonna be a good day for watching football."

33rd Street Loop/Maple Street Loop

I was a little over two miles into the five-mile 33rd Street Loop this morning when it began to seem odd how slowly I was going. My third or fourth suspicion was hypoglycemia. I successfully performed some elementary math, and then started counting presidents backward: "Obama, Bush, ...." Shit. Clinton? Is that possible? Has it only been eight years since he was president. Wait. One term is four years, I know that. You know what, I think I'll eat this tube of Vi Fuel Endurance Gel.
Five minutes later I was fine.
I completed the loop in 1:08:21, with splits of 13:12, 13:53, 15:21, and the last two miles in 25:53. I jogged the last 10:26 non-stop and felt very well when I finished.
Tonight I alternated two-minute runs with three-minute walks to complete the Maple Street Loop in 25:05, once again on very lively legs.
How can anyone, who isn't currently a fan of the Cardinals, Giants, or Orioles, possibly not cheer for the Kansas City Royals?

OVERHEARD
"It's thirtain-sevin, Arkinsawww!"
—man with a deep southern Levy accent on his front porch on Maple Street with the score of the Arkansas-Alabama football game. I didn't want to know anything about it, since I plan to watch it on ESPN3 after (I hope) San Francisco beats the dog piss out of St. Louis in Game I of the NL Championship series, but was nevertheless pleased to hear the score and the man's delight

GUESS WHAT?
This morning they opened Levy's first Waffle House. It's directly across the street from McDonald's, a four-minute walk from my house. I probably will no longer be able to afford my property taxes

Levy Loop/Levy Trail

This is something I didn't expect to happen before my seventieth birthday: I jogged the Levy Loop very comfortably this morning in 24:31, with splits of 12:23 and 12:08. My legs felt downright lively, and still I averaged 12:15.5 a mile. Nevertheless, I am pleased to have jogged two miles nonstop at ease.
Late this afternoon I walked 3.14 miles on the Levy Trail in 49:56.

Orange Street Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Orange Street Loop early this afternoon in 44:15.
This evening I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:20.

Orange Street Loop intervals/Humpin Hash

It would be beneficial I believe if I would start doing something like these Orange Street intervals at least twice a week. This afternoon I walked and jogged a half-mile warmup, then did two miles in which I alternated one-minute runs with one-minute walks for eleven runs. My overall time and splits were 34:49 and 11:34, 11:04, and 12:10. My splits for the interval miles were 10:49.9 and 11:09.2.
These felt good enough to encourage me. I hope to do them again on Sunday morning.
It took me 1:31:45 to go a little over five miles with the Humpin Hash. We started at Vino's, wound around the Capitol Building, worked our way to the River Trail and River Market, and headed back.
Oh. By the way. The winner of the Arkansas Traveller was a very handsome (at least according to Chrissy Ferguson), 31-year-old lawyer from Little Rock named Wes Hunt. He averaged exactly 9:35.5 a mile to become the third person to break sixteen hours at the Traveller. His time was 15:59:12.

Two Rivers Park

I walked for 1:13:14 with Bill Brass, Elaine Gimblet, and Bob McKinney at Two Rivers Park this morning.

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:02.
This evening I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail in 28:26.

Ouachita National Forest/Levy Trail/DFL

WILLIAMS JUNCTION—I ran and walked a total of about two hours, probably a little more, as I watched the Arkansas Traveller 100 yesterday afternoon, last night, and this morning. My legs felt very good throughout.
Early this evening I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 35:09.
The DFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Sherwood Shigellas, 123.97-74.13. Green Bay remains in third place. The NFL Green Bay Packers defeated the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday night, 42-10.

OVERHEARD
"Drew Stanton literally threaded the needle."
—Fox football analyst Troy Aikman, after Arizona Cardinals quarterback Drew Stanton completed a sideline pass between two defenders to running back Andre Ellington

"It was a great game, especially for both teams."
—Pablo Sandavol, after the San Franciso Giants' 18-inning playoff victory over the Washington Nationals late Saturday night

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop at lunchtime today in 31:37.
Late this afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 30:41l

Fort Roots Loop/Levy Trail

Bill Brass, Bob McKinney, and I walked the Fort Roots Loop this morning in 1:51:01. It starts at Burns Park Golf Course, goes up to Fort Roots off of the River Trail, follows a recently paved asphalt trail that runs along the Arkansas River side of Fort Roots, past the parade grounds, and down an ancient trail I remember from 1980 to the skateboard park on the river. There it reunites with the River Trail, which we followed back to the golf course. It is 5.51 miles according to Brass' GPS watch. We went very slowly, talking the whole while.
After watching the NFL Green Bay Packers advance to 3-2 overall with a 42-10 shellacking of the Minnesota Vikings, I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail in 25:55. During the final mile I incorporated my nearly forgotten race walk technique, last used the summer of 2011.

Fort Roots/Maple Street Loop

This morning, starting at about nine o'clock, I walked an out-and-back with the Geezers from Burns Park Golf Course to Fort Roots, plus a few tours along the gillions of trails once we reached the top. We were out for 1:28:32.
Tonight I walked the Maple Street Loop in 33:10.

38th Street intervals/Maple Street Loop/DFL

After a 6:34 half-mile walk-jog warmup on the 38th Street Loop this morning, I alternated six one-minute runs with fifty-second walks and ten-second jogs to complete the middle mile in 11:31. I walked and jogged the final half mile in 6:58 to finish the loop in 25:03, and felt fine the whole way, except for a bit of pain in my left hip that necessitated the jogs into the runs.
This evening, beginning at about nine o'clock, I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Maple Street Loop in 28:38. My legs feel good. As always, I hope to soon run, easily.
Kansas City's Jamaal Charles scored three touchdowns and 29.79 fantasy points last night to help lead the DFL Green Bay Packers to a 152.39-127.72 victory over Tuck Rule 4 Life. Green Bay is now 3-1 and in third place.

38th Street Loop/Chandler Street Loop/DFL

I walked the 38th Street Loop early this afternoon in 32:34. It seemed as if I were walking slower than that, so I was pleased.
This is how slow I am: This evening I jogged for a total eight minutes and fifty-five seconds, and it still took me 45:49 to complete the Chandler Street Loop. My splits were 15:34, 16:02, and 14:13.
The DFL Green Bay Packers trail Tuck Rule 4 Life, 127.72-122.60 with Monday Night Football remaining. Tuck Rule has New England defensive back Darelle Revis in tonight's game. Defensive backs are boom or bust in fantasy football. Generally you can count on them not scoring, though occasionally they'll intercept a pass and ruin your night. Green Bay has Kansas City Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles. He will need to score at least 5.2 points. A touchdown is worth 6 points. Each yard of offense, either rushing or receiving, is worth 0.1 points, so he either needs a touchdown or 52 yards gained. Typically those would be modest goals for Charles, but he hasn't playing in two weeks because of an ankle injury. All signs say he's ready to go, but I have been fooled before. Yahoo Sport® predicts he will score 17.44 points.
We'll see.

Levy Trail Loop/Hash

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 30:55. For my superstitious readers who believe I jinxed the Razorbacks and U.S. Ryder Cup team yesterday, I hope the Packers get beat 73-2 by the Chicago Bears this afternoon.
Hash was great fun this afternoon and evening. I jogged a little bit but mostly walked 2.1 miles in about forty minutes on the south side of Chenal Mountain.
I can't remember the score, but the NFL Green Bay Packers beat the cat shit out of the Bears. It was somewhere around 45-17. The DFL Packers are in a nail biter. Their game will be decided tomorrow night.

Ghetto Cat Loop/UAPB

My hope is that a couple of days with walks like this morning's will recharge my legs. I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 35:54. Part of my problem was low blood glucose. I didn't measure it when I got in, but I'm nearly certain it was ridiculous, probably below fifty. Though never in danger, I was a bit wobbly legged as I walked down Orange Street Hill. I'm eating very well. Go Packers, Razorbacks, and U.S.
This afternoon I walked 36:54 from UAPB's Golden Lion Stadium to the grounds of old Pumphrey Stadium and back. I covered games at dilapidated Pumphrey from 1997-1999. I haven't eaten a smoked turkey leg since.

Levy Trail

I jogged for a total of 24:52 to complete a round trip on the Levy Trail from my house to Camp Robinson (5.2 miles) in 1:18:12, which pleased me considering my legs are deader than the Arab Spring. They have paved another half mile of the trail, north of the Levy Church of Christ.

OVERHEARD
"So is that the way it's gonna be since he moved, never answering his phone?"
—two-hundred fifty-pound woman on the Levy Trail, right around the Pizza Hut

River Trail/Levy Trail Loop

I walked and jogged 4.55 miles with the Geezers on the River Trail this morning in 1:17:57. We went out and back toward downtown from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot. Bill Brass and I jogged a mile en route in 11:37.
This evening I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:49, and saw Mary Lyons for the first time since Christmas. She said she had recently run a 1:47 half-marathon, and learned in our conversation that marathons are not exactly 26.2 miles, but rather 26 miles, 385 yards (the distance between Windsor Palace and the entrance to White City Stadium, plus a lap around the track of 586 yards, two feet, to the front of the Royal Box. That's exactly 33 yards longer than 26.2 miles.

OVERHEARD
"Whatever happened to that Chinese-looking girl?"
—Jeff Luckas (John's brother), to conclude a conversation that began with Jeff telling me someone asked him if Pete were gay. "I told 'em, 'They ain't not fucking way that Pete's gay,' " he said

Hardcastle Loop

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete the Hardcastle Loop this morning in 42:28. I also jogged down from Park Hill to Levy on F Street. I don't believe I will ever get over my deep-seeded, compassionate love for descents. If they would add them to the Pikes Peak Marathon options, I'd run that motherfucker every year.

Orange Street/Levy Trail Loop

Here is evidence of how slow I am. I'll bet I jogged for close to twenty minutes and it still took me 41:46 to complete the Orange Street Loop. What's good is that every step was easy. It helped that it was 54°F when I started. My lower back is a little sore from spending three hours yesterday moving Richard's crap from one storage shed to a larger one in which he intends to move crap from Lillian's house, which is up for sale. For the first time, I hope dad outlives me. Then it'll be up to Jim or our step brothers and sister to haul everything to a landfill.
This evening I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 32:00.

Levy Trail Loop/DFL

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 31:53. It felt like fall this morning; the temperature was 61°F when I started and the air is drier than a Triscuit®. That's great. Unfortunately, the Democrat Football League and National Football League Packers sucked dicks yesterday, which of course makes it difficult to succeed in a contact sport. The DFL Packers (2-1) lost to the 546 Posse, 85.63-70.75. We have played in our current scoring format since 2005 and I am nearly certain those are the fewest points the Packers have scored in a game. The NFL Packers fell to 1-2 with a 19-7 loss at the Detroit Lions. Darn.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 34:39.

Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Trail this morning in 34:45. That's about as slowly as I can walk. My knee felt fine.

OVERHEARD
"You cain't come to my house if you a Cowboy fan."
—dude at Kroger talking about his new man cave

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 34:41.

Maple Street Loop

My right knee is back to almost one-hundred percent. I walked the Maple Street Loop tonight in 33:03.

Ghetto Cat Loop/DFL

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this evening in 35:38. My knee remains a bit stiff but will be fine soon, I believe.
The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers remained undefeated with a 110.81-77.85 victory over over The Capitol City Redskin.* However, three of the Packers' starters were injured and will likely miss at least a month. We could be in trouble.

*The Redskin became the Redskin rather than Redskins because of a typo, sort of like the way the Levi Ghetto Cats became the Levi Ghetto Cats

DFL

The Green Bay Packers defeated the Carpetbaggers 86.07-61.25 to open the Democrat Football League season. It was the Packers' lowest points output since 2012. To blame were Aaron Rodgers, who faced the Seattle Seahawks' fierce defense, and Jamaal Charles, by the far the best DFL player last season, who inexplicably handled the ball a mere eleven times in the Kansas City Chiefs' 26-10 loss to the Tennessee Titans. Chiefs Coach Andy Reid apologized Monday for Charles' limited opportunities.
I woke up Sunday morning with a very stiff and painful right knee. It was worse Monday morning, and even worse Tuesday. I started an ibuprofen and ice regime, feel much better today, and expect to return to some activity soon.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 33:01.

Ridge Road Loop

I walked the Ridge Road Loop this evening in 1:02:39, and am now suffering through the Green Bay Packers' game in Seattle. I hate sports.

Orange Street Loop

I walked the Orange Street Loop tonight in 45:09.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "...in the house," unless they're talking about something in their fucking house

Levy Loop

This is my first midnight run in a while. I jogged the Levy Loop in 23:15, with splits of 11:58 and 11:17 and felt fine.

Hash

According to several GPS watches, I walked almost exactly two miles with B.J., Bill Brass, and Ron and Elaine on Dumpster's Hash run in Maumelle this afternoon. The post run was one for the ages, highlighted by a husband walking in on someone porking his wife, which led to Dumpster choking the husband by the swimming pool. The fucking Hash. It's different these days. I was out for 42:06.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:10:49.

OVERHEARD
"Go Hogs!"
— hippy looking man, wearing a cowboy hat with a Razorback button on it, as he walked out of Kroger with a 30-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. It's good to have game days back

CONVERSATION OF THE CENTURY
Pete: Do y'all plan to show the Razorback game in your bar this afternoon?
Senor Tequila #1: How many with you?
Pete: Do what?
Senior Tequila #1: How many in party?
Pete: Just one, but, I don't. ...Do you know if you get the SEC Network?
Senor Tequila #1: Wait. I find someone.
Pete: Do what?
Senor Tequila #2: How may I help you?
Pete: Well, I'm just trying to find out whether or not y'all are showing the Arkansas Razorbacks game this afternoon.
Senor Tequila #2: How many in party?
Pete: You know what, never mind. I'll talk to you later.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop tonight in 31:53.

Ridge Road Loop

I walked the Ridge Road Loop this afternoon in 1:03:47.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...everyone from this point forward who posts a video of themselves doing the ice-bucket challenge

Levy Trail

Man, I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks this morning and it still took me 30:57 to go two miles the Levy Trail.

Hash

I jogged and walked for 1:19:15 at Fanny Packer's Hash run today out in west Little Rock.

Orange Street Loop

Man, it's hot in Levy, just shitty. I walked the Orange Street Loop this evening in 46:59 and didn't see anyone outside.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked and jogged the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 27:35. Shitty summer weather is apparently here for keeps.

Maple Street Loop

It's dank with summer this morning. I just got in from jogging and walking the Maple Street Loop in 26:58, with splits of 14:08 and 12:50, and am drenched.

Orange Street Loop

My neck feels much better. Not completely healed, but better. I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop late tonight in 40:57, and felt pretty good. I'm happy to say the bat I coated with wasp and hornet spray has flown off, and I hope with all my hope it leads a healthy life.

Levy Trail

As I drove to Camp Clearfork last Saturday I noticed my neck was a little stiff. By Sunday morning, it was extremely stiff, and hurt. It was worse Monday morning. Last night I slept sitting up on my couch, with a heating pad behind my neck, and it felt much better. It remains painful and stiff, but at a tolerable level. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail early this afternoon in 32:52.

Hash/Levy Trail

CRYSTAL SPRINGS, Ark.—I drove to Camp Clearfork for the Saturday afternoon Hash run, and walked and jogged a little over two miles in 48:40. We turned around at the same spot as last year, but went a bit further to get there. I never learned the name of Miss Camp Clearfork, but she was probably the least attractive winner in the history of the pageant. You would've won hands down.

This morning I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:22.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this afternoon in 31:17. It's only 83°F, but the heat index is 92. Granted, that sounds tame I know, but this is new for us this particularly crazy summer. I'm soaked.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked and jogged the Levy Trail Loop this afternoon in 31:59. At 3:01 p.m., it's 93°F in Levy with a heat index of 96. Summerish weather has arrived at last.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 34:01. My pulse rate was never over 96 and I didn't perspire a drop. It was a good warmup for today's trips to Nashville and Hot Springs.

Levy Trail/38th Street Loop

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 33:04. This afternoon I did an old sort of interval workout, the kind of which I haven't done in a long time, maybe years. I walked and jogged the first half mile of the 38th Street Loop in 6:55, then alternated one minute runs with one minute walks for a mile in 10:28, and walked and jogged the final half mile in 6:16 for a total of 23:39. I completed a total of six runs at probably around eight minutes a mile, I'm guessing. My legs felt fantastic.

Levy Trail/Hash

I walked and jogged two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 29:54. My legs are too dead to run, and might remain that way for a while. I'm in the third week of my latest diet. I hope that's the reason I can't sustain a run, because I otherwise have leg cancer or ebola, obviously, but late this afternoon either my glycogen-deficit or ebola-leg cancer symptoms subsided significantly. I jogged for more than half of the 49:37 I spent on Bill Brass' Hash run at Camp Robinson. I'm gonna say I went a little more than three miles.

Maple Street Loop/Gimblett Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 28:07, then walked and turned on my air conditioner. Late this afternoon I walked the Gimblett Street Loop in 1:20:32. At 6:18 p.m., it's 87°F in Levy.

Levy Trail/Levy-Park Hill

My air conditioner was off five days in July, for the British Open and yesterday. It might also be off for the first day of August, since the weather woman on Channel 11 just predicted a high today of 71°F. It's 68 in my house at 8:25 a.m. It was 71 in Levy as I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 30:41.

It's nuts that I don't do this more often. This afternoon I walked randomly around Levy and up into Park Hill for 52:16. I went slowly, so probably didn't cover more than three and a quarter miles. My route included John Ewbanks' old house, the bridge that crosses 47th Street at Ridge Road, and a tour of the Magnolia Street cul de sac near Ridge Road Junior High. I didnt' know it existed. There was a house for sale that looked nice.

OVERHEARD
"I would make the kids hamburgers and French fries and then I would just eat a hamburger with no bread, and I'd use steak sauce instead of ketchup and then I'd make a baked potato instead of fries."
—woman on North Ridge Road explaining to a neighbor how she lost all that weight

Orange Street Loop/Levy Loop

At 9:15 a.m., it's overcast and 67°F in Levy. It almost feels like football season. I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 43:41. This evening, through the lightest of drizzles, I walked and jogged the Levy Loop in 26:02.

OVERHEARD
"Hitting the ball."
—Little kid on the Reds-at-Miami Marlins game after the Marlins announcer asked him what he "liked best about batting practice?"

Ghetto Cat Loop/Humpin' Hash

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:17. This evening I jogged and walked nearly three miles with the Humpin' Hash in 38:48. We went to E.J.'s and a nearby sushi restaurant and had a crowd of about thirty.

OVERHEARD
"It's Miller Lite."
—John Kelley, after Pete took a drink of Katy's beer and said, 'Hey, this is good. What is it?", thinking, hoping, it was one of those $12-a-six-pack microbrewed beers

Maple Street Loop/Ridge Road Loop

I walked and jogged the Maple Street Loop this morning in 26:53. My plan to do either the 33rd Street or Park Hill Loop was thwarted by legs deader than the frozen yogurt industry. It's 78°F in Levy. The high should be 84, with highs tomorrow and Thursday forecasted to be 78 and 71. Those would be appropriate ways to end this crazy July.

It got to 86, in fact is right now at 6:12 p.m. But weather.com says that it "feels like" 85. Now they're saying 81 for the high tomorrow, and 68 for Thursday. I'll believe it when I see it. I just got in from walking the four-mile Ridge Road Loop in 1:04:38 and I'm bone dry.

Levy Loop/Levy Trail

I jogged a total of 17:45 to complete the Levy Loop in 24:45. This afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 34:10.

33rd Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to finish the 33rd Street Loop in 1:09:00, with splits of 13:54, 13:44, 13:32, 14:02, 13:48. Weather.com says it will get to 99°F today. It's 85, with a RealFeel of 91 at 10:04 a.m. We'll see. All I know is that this is the first time this year that I have come in from a run and subsequently hung my entire running costume, including socks, on the shower rod.

Levy Loop/Maple Street Loop

I alternated two-minute jogs with three-minute walks to complete the Levy Loop late this morning in 24:49, with splits of 12:34 and 12:15, and felt great. Starting at about 7:45 tonight, I walked the Maple Street Loop in 29:46.

35th Street Loop/38th Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the 35th Street Loop in 55:16, with splits of 13:53, 14:06, 13:19, and 13:58. A big, badass black dog sent a jolt of fear through me close to the halfway point of the first mile by barking, growling, running circles around me, and generally taking the pose of animal intent on eating someone. This was the first time I'd seen him.

This evening I walked the 38th Street Loop in 31:26.

Levy Trail/38th Street Loop

It's hard for me to not gawk at this weather. Yesterday it got to 91°F, the seventh time this month, this July, that the temperature has reached ninety or above. This afternoon, at 2:26, it's 83 in Levy. I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail in 25:55, and ten minutes later I'm already dry. Crazy. They say it will reach the mid- to high-nineties this weekend.

This evening I walked the 38th Street Loop in 31:35.

DID YOU KNOW...

...there's a brand of women's underwear called Spanx®? That's great. I saw a display in Dillard's, or JCPenney last night. What are some potential rival brands? How about Spitz? Or maybe Spelunkers? Tap?

OVERHEARD

"You steppin on out, ain't ya?"

—one of two sixty-year-old men sitting on the open tailgate of an almost antique, orange-and-white Chevy pickup that was parked on a dirt driveway off 37th Street. "I'm trying to," I responded. He said, "I heard that."

Cooks Landing/McCain Mall

I walked 6.2 miles with the Geezers on a loop from Cooks Landing this morning in 1:51:56. Though it was still under ninety degrees, everyone complained about the heat. This evening, as the rain poured, I McMain-Mall walked for 35:21. Please don't tell anyone.

Levy Trail/Orange Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail at lunchtime in 29:27. It's 87°F. Now they're saying the high today will be 89, which it was. The air dried up today. If feels nice out at 5:57 p.m. There's nice breeze. I walked the Orange Street Loop this evening in 47:22.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:48. Ninety degrees, here we come. I guess that's what we get for living in Levy—occasionally in the summer it gets over ninety. Early this evening I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 48:50. The forecasters were off; the high today was 86°F. They say it'll get to 94 tomorrow. For the first time since nine days ago, the humidity is back to normal.

Levy Trail

It got up to a blazing 83°F today. This evening I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 34:16.

Orange Street Loop

For the second day in a row, the temperature hasn't reached the 80s. Yesterday's high was 71°F, and today's 78. I had to put on a sweatshirt this morning. This afternoon I walked the Orange Street Loop in 47:46. I have enchiladas in the oven. This is the first time I have made them, and feel confident they'll be good.

OVERHEARD
"Give them an inch, they'll take a yard."
—newscaster on KATV-Ch. 7, the ABC affiliate in Levy. She was commenting on someone's complaint that the temperature might reach into the 80s tomorrow

Levy Trail

My hip feels much better. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 36:09. At 3:19 p.m., it is 68°F in Levy, which is 25 below the average high for July 18. I turned my air conditioner off Wednesday night, and it's almost uncomfortably cool in my house.
Ruth meowed at my backdoor this afternoon for the first time in ten days. I was afraid she might have died, but she looks fine. I wish Jo and Samantha didn't hate her so.

Five years, eleven months, and twenty-five days

My left hip hurt too much for me to walk or run today or tonight. Consequently my streak of at least walking two miles, begun July 19, 2008, ends after five years, eleven months, and twenty-five days. However, my MLB All-Star game watching or listening-to streak, begun in 1968, continues. The cats are sleeping—Pam on my lap, Jo on the fancy recliner, and Sam right behind me on top of the couch. They don't care, but I'm cheering like heck for the National League, since I truly believe the Reds have a good chance to play in the World Series. It's the top of the fifth inning and the score is 3-3.

Orange Street Loop

It started raining harder than two motherfuckers a mile and a half into the Orange Street Loop this evening. You know, the kind of rain that gets you wet to your underpants in about a minute, so that there's no point hurrying. I completed the loop on very sore legs in 47:38. My official time for the 25K was 4:34:42.9.

Levy Trail

I'm tired and my feet hurt. Nevertheless, I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 34:16.

OVERHEARD
"The Dutch have just rubbed rock salt into the wound that was once Brazil's national pride. What embarrassment; what humiliation for all of Brazil."
—ESPN radio announcers after Holland scored a goal in the final minute or so to build its lead to 3-nil in the the third-place World Cup game with Brazil. Pete listened to them as he drove to the start the Midnight 25K

Midnight 25K

WILLIAMS JUNCTION, Ark.—My feet hurt a bit, but I am otherwise undamaged from walking and jogging the Midnight 25K tonight in about 4:34:30 (I forgot to stop my watch, but that's pretty close). As unfit as I am, I was pleased to have finished feeling as good as I did, regardless of the time. It's nice now in Levy, on the couch watching the Reds with Pam and Jo.

Levy Trail

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail late this afternoon in 48:31. That's about the effort I intend to exert during the first half of the Midnight 25K tomorrow night. I might jog a bit coming back. The start has been moved back to 7 p.m., so my goal is to finish before midnight. I think I can do that without hurting too much.

Lakewood Lake No. 3

Ron Gimblet and I walked for 1:06:33 this morning around Lakewood Lake No. 3 and through adjacent neighborhoods. The three women Geezers alternated two-minute walks with one-minute jogs, so we didn't see them after the first two minutes.

Levy Trail

It's a good thing I walked with the Geezers this morning. They told me the Midnight 50K is this Saturday, not two weeks from Saturday as I had thought until about an hour and a half ago. So much for putting in a long run. We walked for 1:19:07, with several stops. It was fun.

Orange Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minte walks to complete the Orange Street Loop this morning in 39:56, with splits of 13:40, 13:25, and 12:51, and imagine I looked kind of silly walking so fast the final half block to break forty.

OVERHEARD
"Men. They're all the same. They only believe what they want to believe."
—actress on an old black-and-white movie, heard by Pete this morning from the bathroom of his mother's room at Nashville Nursing and Rehabilitation

"My biggest fear is dying in a hotel room on the road."
—Marty Brennamen, Cincinnati Reds radio announcer since 1974, as reported by the Chicago Cubs announcer during the broadcast of the Reds-Cubs game Tuesday night

Ghetto Cat Loop

After picking up rib bones and beer bottles from my yard this morning, I walked he Ghetto Cat Loop in 30:04.

Results of the Levy Faster than Two Motherfuckers 1K
MEN
1. Jeff Thostenson 4:20
2. John Kelley 4:23
3. Michael Harmon 4:27
WOMEN
1. Patre Williams 5:06
2. Kaitlyn Bradley 6:05
3. Susan Irwin 6:09

Levy Faster Than Two Motherfuckers 1K-Levy Loop

I walked 2.62 miles early this afternoon. I think the first 0.62 miles took about ten minutes and the final two about thirty-two. Drunk people praised my ribs. I will report on the race winners when I find the result sheet. I think the man winner was close to four minutes and the woman close to five. Goodnight.

Burns Park Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop this evening in 1:23:58.

Firecracker Fast 5K

I didn't run the Firecracker Fast 5K. I watched, and then walked with Bob McKinney and Bob Rooke back to our cars parked on Kavanaugh Blvd. in the Heights. I went about three miles in about thirty-three minutes, all uphill. I walked fast, until I caught up with the Bobs a little past Walt Webb's old house.

OVERHEARD
"That sound fine, but I don't want to put up with no bullshit. Know what I mean?"
—40-year-old woman in the Kroger Parking lot, with two boys, ages 5 and 7

Park Hill Loop

Man, the weather is fantastic here today. At 12:18 p.m., it's 79°F, and dry as gin. I hope this holds up through the Levy Faster than Two Motherfuckers 1K. I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop at lunchtime in 1:05:38, with splits of 13:12, 13:23, 12:50, 13:31, and 12:42.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, or writes in the script of a contemporary television show, "Get a room."

33rd Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 33rd Street Loop tonight in 1:04:29. I would guess I jogged for a total of ten minutes.

Levy Loop

I jogged and walked the Levy Loop very late tonight in 25:53, having discounted the Reds' chance of victory.

Orange Street Loop

At close to one p.m., it's only 89°F out, but, man, I am soaking wet and fairly miserable after walking the Orange Street Loop in 43:02. I played the car game today for the first time in many months, and won for maybe the third time, hitting my prediction of 14 when a car passed me in front of John's former house.

WORLD CUP TRIVIA ANSWER
The U.S. finished third in 1930, and South Korea finished fourth in 2002. Mexico has never made it past the quarterfinals, and soccer has been illegal in the Ivory Coast since World War I

Levy Trail/Hash

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon, literally through a gigantic bowl of egg-drop soup, in 28:26. I came in to discover that they're showing The Fisher King on COZI-TV.* Sometimes you get little jewels on rabbit-ear television, like the commercials they show during the World Cup on the Mexican Channel. Late this afternoon I walked for a about forty minutes on a Hash run set by Katy, the basketball player, and Tisha from the dog park at Murray Park in Little Rock. A new petepretty girl showed up today, because she met Zach and Lacey and John Cohn at a bar an hour before we started. She's an old-enough-to-drink, senior-to-be at a tiny Christian college in Siloam Springs called John Brown University, and sounded eager to run the Firecracker Faster than Two Motherfuckers 1K next week in Levy. I'd put the odds against at 5-2. We'll see. I'm taking a new tact with this race. I will begin serving beer and food—ribs, hot dogs, potato salad, and baked beans—at 5 p.m. The race will start at 6 p.m. Less than ten minutes later, when even the slowest walkers have finished, I will serve more beer and food. I think it'll work.

WORLD CUP TRIVIA

In the previous nineteen World Cups, only two countries not from the continents of South America or Europe have finished in the top four. Can you name them? (hints: one finished third in 1930, the year of the first World Cup, and the other fourth in 2002)

*I was at first a little bummed that they edited out, "I have a boner the size of Florida for you," but then recognized the subsequent two-minute love declaration as one of the best in the history of English. They of course did not remove, "You're the greatest thing since spice racks."

33rd Street Loop

I walked and jogged the 33rd Street Loop this evening in 1:09:14. It only rained on me for about a mile and a half.

OVERHEARD
"Do y'all want y'all's yard did?"
—young fellow at my front door this afternoon

Orange Street Loop

It won't quit raining here. I'll bet it's rained at least six feet in the last two days. This afternoon I started the Orange Street Loop in steamy sunshine, and finished in a downpour. It took me 42:24, alternating one-minute jogs with four-minute walks. My foot hurt a little less than yesterday.

Levy Trail Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Levy Trail Loop this evening in 27:55. I tried to jog a bit on the Hash run Sunday, and my right foot hurt too much. It felt infinitely better today, eleven and a half days after hurting it. It feels almost uninjured in every other regard. I can walk downstairs unimpeded. I can get up out of bed and not limp halfway across the house. I'll be fine soon, I think.

Levy Trail

I walked from here to Camp Robinson and back on the Levy Trail this morning in 1:23:09.

Burns Park Loop

I walked the Burns Park Loop this evening in 1:33:14. My right foot hurts. The pain is a byproduct of my fall from a week ago Sunday. It's fine except when I'm walking down hill, or try to run, or land heavily.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 31:13.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 31:19. At 11:11 a.m., it's 89°F, with a RealFeel® of 94, or about as bad as it's been this summer. It's perfect weather to sit inside and watch the U.S. Women's Open, and the Reds play Toronto. Late this afternoon I walked for 42:05 with BJ, Tiny Tim, Reverend Bob, and Ron Gimblet, on Zach's Hash run from Fletcher Park.

Burns Park Loop

I walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:30:27. It's very muggy today. A few minutes after I came in, I noticed that one of the Mexican channels I receive is showing soccer all day long, and has since the World Cup started. I wish I'd known that for the last U.S. game. The Mexicans play Monday. I plan to watch at the Mexican Shit Hole.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:20.

SCENARIO OF THE DAY...
...inspired by a report on National Public Radio about the controversy surrounding the Washington Redskins. Apparently quite a few people are offended (understandably, I believe) by the mascot choice. One of the guests suggested they change the name to the "Red Tapes" (brilliant, I thought). I'd like to see Daniel Snyder, the franchise owner who has for years remained steadfast in defense of his team's current name, announce that he has agreed to change the name, set a date, and show up before an enormous crowd of press: "I finally get it. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how many people have been hurt by our former team name." He then pulls back the curtain to unveil the new name—the Washington Indian Savages

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this evening in 32:27. Everything feels better. I'm glad to see Miss Na Yeon got off to a good start at the U.S. Open. I can't wait to watch the coverage this weekend. By the way, I hate the new setup at Pinehurst No. 2. Old fashioned U.S. Open rough penalizes everyone equally. The substitute for rough at Pinehurst penalizes completely at random. One guy hits behind a weed with a wooden stalk and he's toast. Then the next guy's ball is teed up on a fucking dandelion. It ain't fair.

Orange Street Loop

My knee felt much better today. However, late last night I reached for a can of Best Choice® Lemon Lime soda pop on the bottom shelf of my 1970 J.C. Penney refrigerator and felt something like a knife blade stick me in my lower back. It hurts to get out of a chair. Neverthegoddamnless, I walked the Orange Street Loop tonight in 49:56. I picked it up late to break fifty minutes. My back feels fine when I'm sitting, or once I'm up and standing fully vertically. It also feels fine when I'm fully horizontal. Only the transitions hurt.

It was interesting today to see how many people in Levy were talking about Mexico's goalkeeper. Go Mexico.

Levy Loop

My right knee hurts quite a bit, and my ankle, too. I am about to take a day off, I think. Nevertheless, I walked the Levy Loop tonight in 36:07.

Levy Loop

My right knee hurt a little more this morning, though the pain decreased as I proceeded along the Levy Loop, completed in 35:20.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail last evening in 35:28. My right knee and ankle hurt a little. They should be fine in a day or so.

OVERHEARD
"History is made to be broken."
—LeBron James, commenting on the Miami Heat's chance of returning from a 3-1 deficit  to the San Antonio Spurs, which has never before happened in a final series. To assure he hadn't misspoken, a few seconds later he said, "Like I said, history is made to be broken."

Burns Park loops

Bill Brass and I walked and jogged 10.45 miles on a combination of several Burns Park loops this morning in 3:12:38. To brag, he told me how far we had run; I then checked the time, and spent perhaps 20-30 seconds before I said, "So we averaged almost exactly 18:40 a mile." Bill clicked his watch a couple of times, and said, "I hate to tell you, but you missed it. According to my watch, we averaged 18:41 a mile." I said, "Aw, crap, and I used to be good at math in my head." We had fun. It was nearly perfect weather for mid-June; sixties to the 70s, with a light breeze, and air drier than Melba toast. My old, white Nike shirt is no more than slightly damp.

OVERHEARD
"That's pretty impressive. I mean, there aren't any John Deeres or Humana Challenges anywhere on that list."
—Johnny Miller, after he said a U.S. Open victory for Martin Kaymer would give him three victories in America, including those at the Players and PGA Championships

Levy Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop/Full Moon Hash

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:17, and the Ghetto Cat Loop late this afternoon in 35:10. I hope someone can at least make a run at Martin Kaymer in the U.S. Open. Golf needs exciting majors. I need them, too, to justify watching a total of thirty hours of television over four days. It might take a few swings-and-misses, rarely seen outside of the Levy-Sherwood Cup.

We had our first Full Moon Hash tonight since the the late 1980s, I think, and went a total of almost exactly three miles. Seven of us ran. Patre drove the beer around, though our first stop was at Diamond Bear's new place in North Little Rock (just past the two-mile mark of the Little Rock Marathon, not far from Walt Webb's). This place includes a restaurant, with a menu that's had me hungry ever since.

Fort Roots Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop

I'm in the great big club cheering for Phil Mickelson to win the U.S. Open. I just got in from walking and jogging the Fort Roots Loop with the Geezers to see he's two strokes off Matt Kuchar's lead of 3-under. The coverage on my laptop is lovely, at least as sharp as my television. Bill Brass and I went a total of 5.85 miles up to, across, and down from Fort Roots, in 1:42:23. We jogged 1.7 miles of it non-stop in 19:22. I'm not sure what's more interesting to me—that my jog today at a much slower pace was ten times harder than my run last night, or that my jog today was ten times easier than a similar one-mile run with a Brass a couple of weeks ago.

This evening I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop in 34:34. My pulse rate was never over 96. I should walk so slowly more often.

OVERHEARD
"I don't understand it. Some guys says he went for a trip on Friday the 13th and and had a wreck that killed his wife and his kids and his dog. I mean, why would you leave the house on Friday the 13th?"
—my backyard neighbor Merle Malone, as we dug stumps by the fence between our yards. He said he stays in on Friday the 13ths, and consequently wanted to get those stumps out today

38th Street Loop/Orange Street Loop

It's bright out, and much less humid this morning. I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the 38th Street Loop in 26:44, and didn't have to put a towel on my recliner before I sat.

The drier air made a big difference tonight, when I jogged the Orange Street Loop in 32:28, 1:34 faster than I ran three miles on Monday night, with splits of 11:09, 11:05, and 10:14. It went beyond that, though. My legs felt much livelier. I was happily surprised, and think I could've gone as much as two minutes faster. I walked and jogged a half mile before and after I ran.

Hardcastle Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Hardcastle Loop this morning in 47:30. My legs felt dead going up hills. It's been wet, but otherwise nice in Levy. My air conditioner has been off since Sunday morning, and I don't think it's been over 74°F in my house. If the forecast holds true, I think I'll make it through Thursday. That's gotta be close to a record for June. This afternoon I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:58.

Levy Trail/33rd Street Loop

This hasn't happened in a while. I woke up in the dark, at 5 a.m., and knew there was no chance I would go back to sleep. So, I drank some tea, studied Beat the Streak, and alternated three-minute jogs with two-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail in 24:09, with splits of 12:25, and 11:44. I wanted to go three, but was frightened by nearby lightning. It rained throughout, but I felt so good that I didn't mind at all.

I jogged and walked the five-mile 33rd Street Loop tonight in 1:01:47, with splits of 12:56, 11:02, 11:30, 11:30, and 14:49. As planned (and as I hoped), I jogged the middle three miles non-stop, though very slowly (34:02).

Levy Trail Loop

I lost $91.20 betting seven races on yesterday's Belmont Park card, including the Belmont Stakes, so it looks as if I will spend at least this summer and next winter in Levy. Early this afternoon I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 31:01. What began as a drizzle as I stretched in my driveway has turned into a thunderstorm. I got in just before the bottom fell out, and then, after a long day of sunshine, jogged and walked for 50:15 through driving rain on John Kelley's Hash run, set from the parking lot of the Target store near McCain Mall. I'd say I went a bit more than three miles.

Maple Street Loop

Let's see how sweat-free I can keep this MacBook Pro keyboard. I just got in from a 25:00 circuit of the Maple Street Loop, jogged and walked wearing a Thermos of egg drop soup. My splits were 12:52, and 12:08. That should be an adequate warmup for gambling away everything I own on Races 5-11 from Belmont Park at Oaklawn Park in Hot Springs today. However, if Meadowood finishes no worse than second in the Race 5, Fiftyshadesofgold wins and Risque Reality finishes no worse than third in Race 6, Vyjack wins Race 9, and Commanding Curve wins Race 11 (the Belmont Stakes), I will hire someone else to write Pam's Boy from this point forward. Also, I will begin to summer in Norway, and winter in Key West (that's right. I'll have enough cash to use summer and winter as verbs).

Chandler Street Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this morning in 46:23. This was the best I have felt on a walk in a while. Early this evening I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 32:38.

DR. PETE'S DEAD SOLID BELMONT LOCKED-UP LOCKS

$10 win on Commanding Curve (No. 4); estimated payout—$160
$10 cold exacta w/ Commanding Curve and California Chrome* (No. 2); e.p.—$400
$1 superfecta w/ Commanding Curve/California Chrome, Wicked Strong (No. 9)/California Chrome, Wicked Strong/All (total cost: $16); e.p. $2000-$26,006

Regardless of his selections, Dr. Pete will cheer for California Chrome. The last time the Triple Crown was won, at Belmont in 1978, Pete was an hour removed from a 20-hour drive from Wyoming to Russellville, Arkansas. He watched it by himself in Jim and Jean Aikman's den. He hopes to see Chrome win tomorrow on a large television at Oaklawn Park in Hot Springs. If California Chrome loses, Pete of course hopes to drive to Levy with $26,566 in his pants

Burns Park Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Burns Park Loop with the Geezers this morning in 1:44:16. This evening, starting at about 9 o'clock, I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 22:52. I ran the first mile non-stop in 11:07, and was hurting, and about to crap my pants, so I stopped to walk. Two minutes later I felt recovered and jogged for three or four minutes, then walked for two, and ran the final half mile at a pretty good clip. In fact, I kind of kicked it in to break 23 minutes. I got the second mile in 11:45, and now feel very encouraged. While en route, I jogged past a house that was packed with men watching Game 1 of the NBA final between San Antonio and Miami. I could hear them yelling from more than a block away. I'm pleased that so many people seem excited by this series.

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 31:28. At 11:40 a.m., it's 87°F, with a RealFeel® of 93. This evening I alternated very slow one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete two miles on the Levy Trail in 29:32.

River Trail

I walked and jogged 4.48 miles with the Geezers on the River Trail this morning. We didn't jog much. Maybe half a mile. It was in the 70s, and muggier than two motherfuckers. We were out for 1:14:26.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:04. It feels like summer now. I walked in dripping, and did again this evening after walking two miles on the Levy Trail in 31:18. This time, however, the moisture was a combination of sweat and rainfall. It was kind of hard to distinguish the two as I dried off for the sake of this laptop.

Levy Trail/Hash

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 31:16. It's hot again, nearly 90, and muggy. My legs are a little weary. This evening I walked and jogged about two miles with a handful of Little Rock Hashers on a run set by a relatively new Hasher named Laura. We started and ended at a big horse barn not far from Damned Near Redneck's house.

Kittensmacker

WILLIAMS JUNCTION, Ark.—I started, but was unwilling to finish. Instead, I walked, climbed, and jogged out for an hour, and then spent 59:49 coming back on a very hard, approximately seven-mile course. It rained all the way, and as hard as it ever rains for half an hour or so. My goal became to come back faster then I went out, and I met it only because I intersected the course of a man named Dane Justice with about a mile to go. He unwittingly helped push me.

Levy Loop

It looks as if I will make it through a third consecutive day of an open front door and windows. The highs have not surpassed 75°F, and there has been very little sunshine. That's an amazing streak to come this late in May. This morning I jogged and walked the Levy Loop in 25:13. My knee was pain free, only a little stiff for the first couple of minutes. I am determined to attempt the Kittensmacker in the morning, so long as I'm willing and able to get out of bed in time. It's approximately 12 miles long, on an audaciously rolling course, with lots of long, steep hills. I finished it in 3:10 last year. This year I hope to start.

38th Street Loop

OK, I'm at least 95% of the way back to good right-knee health. I jogged a total of 16:13 to complete the 38th Street Loop this evening in 26:13. I forgot to time the first mile.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next store clerk who says as I walk through the front door anything like, "Hi, welcome to Family Dollar"

Levy Trail

After I realized this morning I could not straighten my right knee without pain, and subsequently turned to the Internet, I diagnosed my injury as one involving the lateral meniscus (a bundle of cartilage which runs along the outside of knees), and toyed all day with comfortable ways to move forward on my feet. I can walk between 20-25-minute miles, and jog 12-14. It's almost painless to jog. The walking hurts a bit more. That didn't surprise me, since I have known for years that one of the two ways by which track judges distinguish walking from running is that walkers' legs completely straighten. This evening I walked and jogged two miles on the Levy Trail in 33:27, with splits of 17:33, and 15:54. My diagnosis is probably incorrect, of course. Regardless, my prognosis is that I won't need to visit Dr. Nix. My knee felt better after I got out of bed this morning than it did the day before. I'm curious about tomorrow.

Levy Trail

My latest Pam's Boy prediction was inaccurate. My right knee is still stiff and painful. I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 34:41. I limped a little. I don't know what I've done. My morning walk yesterday felt fine. I sat on my couch for half an hour or so afterward, and noticed the pain when I stood. I thought at first I had just sat with it in an odd position. Now I don't know. I'll give it a couple of days, with Dr. Richard Nix as my fallback.

Levy Loop/Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:12, and the Levy Trail this evening in 34:55. My right knee has hurt a bit since this morning, and was stiff throughout my evening walk. It will be fine tomorrow, I predict.

BY THE NUMBERS
7  years ago that Jo was born, under a table, in a trailer, in rural southeastern Missouri (she and I agree that it seems more like 49 years ago)
5  people I passed on the trail this evening, including three dog-walkers, one biker, and one walker. Each smiled and said hello, and were I believe in worse physical condition than I
1  pennies found on my walk this morning
1  cheeseburgers grilled before 8 a.m. on Orange Street (I'm unsure of this. There could have been more than one grilled)
0  vehicles which drove by me at any point, including 47th Street

OVERHEARD
"Jesus."
—old man on Maple Street this morning after he broke the flagstick of an American flag he was trying to inbed in his front yard. I remembered in a burst of patriotism that had all those soldiers not risked their lives for us, I could've stoned the man to death for blasphemy

Hash

I arrived late to Hash this afternoon and walked about two miles by myself. I was out for 35:47. We started and finished at the Rebsamen Tennis Center.

Conway

CONWAY, Ark.—I walked for 1:02:37 around the University of Central Arkansas campus at lunchtime today, before I watched UCA lose 9-4 to Southeastern Louisiana in the championship game of the Southland Conference Baseball Tournament. It disappointed me to not see BJ there.

Levy Trail

I walked the Levy Trail from here to Camp Robinson and back in 1:18:08. It's hot today.

Burns Park Loop/Burns Park Loop/Orange Street Loop/Orange Street Loop/Levy Trail

I walked and jogged the Burns Park Loop on Sunday morning in 1:27:21, and again on Monday morning in 1:28:33. I walked the Orange Street Loop on Tuesday morning 44:56, and walked and jogged it on Wednesday morning in 41:24. This morning I walked two miles on the Levy Trail in 30:41. This afternoon I picked up my newest laptop at a computer fixit place downtown, and dropped off the older, white one. The newer one was in the shop last Saturday when my old one failed to light up. It's an odd thing to go nearly five days without a computer.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail tonight in 30:35. It's cold. I think our high today was 58°F. I can't tell you how much I preferred global warming to climate change. Fuck, I wish we could get back to global warming, where it's 96 on May 17, or 80 in February. And where ice storms don't break windshields on my cars two years in a row. I'm going to walk everywhere I go from this point forward, and stab anyone who doesn't.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "These tacos aren't going to eat themselves," or, "This house isn't going to clean itself," or, you know, et al.

Hardcastle Loop

I walked the Hardcastle Loop this morning in 44:40, and felt fantastic. It's sunny and bone dry out, and, guessing, maybe 65°F.

Ridge Road Loop/Burns Park Loop

I walked the Ridge Road Loop last night in 58:21. This morning I walked and jogged the Burns Park Loop in 1:20:53.

Ridge Road Loop

It rained here most of the day. Now it's very cool, perfect for running. I jogged and walked the 35th Street Loop tonight in 52:18, with splits of 13:12, 13:40, 13:01, and 12:25.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:32.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:13.

Great Cross Country Race

Hashers with GPS watches said I walked between 3.2 and 3.3 miles setting the Great Cross Country Race this morning. It took me about an hour and a half. Thirty-seven people ran, and it was fun-packed group, with about twenty non-Little Rock Hashers. Greg Eason, or Cracked Pipe, won in 30:37. A new Hasher woman named Trisha finished first among women in 32:48.

Boyle Park

I spent 1:38:36 scouting the Great Cross Country Race this afternoon in Boyle Park. I probably walked about five and a half miles. I'm not sure how long the run will be tomorrow morning, but about four miles. It will include at least a mile of new trails, I think.

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 31:38.

It seemed odd how much Mayflower stood out even in the dark as I drove home tonight. I felt no desire to go stare at poor Vilonia. BJ called this morning to discuss Saturday's Great Cross Country Race, and we sifted through a handful of tornado scenarios. Among them was one in which we walked into the Mayflower mayor's office and said, "Good god, man, didn't anyone tell you fuckers the president of the goddamn United States was coming yesterday? I mean, it doesn't look like you've made even the slightest attempt to clean up this fucking mess." There was another where BJ eats lunch at a Mayflower restaurant and starts bitching about how all the heavy equipment is slowing down his commute to work.

OVERHEARD
"He don't have a car seat! Hurry, someone call the law!"
—woman in her front yard, with half a dozen others, as a man drove away from the house in an old pickup truck with a five-year-old boy in his right arm. As I approached, I overhead him say, "Fuck you. He's my son, and you ain't got nothing to say about it." This stood for me as a perfect example of our neighborhood's cultural diversity; those people live exactly seven houses and one chiropractic clinic away from a man who has read every published word written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ian McEwan, Richard Ford, Richard Russo, et al.

Ouachita Trail

I walked and jogged from where the Ouachita Trail turns off of Arkansas 300 to the Scenic Vista and back in 2:50:58. According to the OT Website, that's 9.8 miles. I felt kind of crappy most of the way out, but much better coming back. My splits were 1:28:19, and 1:22:39.

Morrilton

MORRILTON, Ark. — It occurred to me for the first time as I drove by Mayflower today en route to Morrilton to watch the Class 3A track championships that I had never before seen a town that had recently been destroyed by a tornado. Goddamn, man, it was fucking bizarre. They suspect it was an F4, or the next to strongest variety, and I'm telling you, it looked as if someone built a bulldozer roughly the size of three Astrodomes and drove it right across Mayflower, then across I-40 toward Vilonia. Huge trees, every tree, were down everywhere. All the houses and buildings were blown to bits. BJ told me Sunday that he couldn't see how anyone survived, and now I know what he meant. I'm going to Russellville to watch a meet on Thursday, and am considering a drive through Vilonia, though I might consider against. I'm still a little spooked over the sight of Mayflower. This afternoon, between prelims and finals at Devil Dog Stadium, I walked for 1:02:20 through completely unfamiliar neighborhoods, that ranged in a matter of a few blocks from shotgun shacks to the opposite. I saw lots of people I knew at the meet, and was entertained throughout.

Park Hill Loop

I walked and jogged the Park Hill Loop tonight in 1:02:04, with splits of 12:04, 12:40, 12:10, 13:00, and 12:10, and felt great every step of the way. It could be because I had walked around most of the afternoon with $410 in my pants, from my Kentucky Derby triumph, and felt feather-light with the money tucked away elsewhere.

Levy Trail/Kentucky Derby

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 30:08.

I bet a total of $57 on the Kentucky Derby yesterday. Tomorrow, after visiting mom in Nashville, and dad in Hot Springs, I'll drive over to Oaklawn Park and cash two tickets worth a total of $410. I bet $20 to win on California Chrome, which paid $70. And I coupled California Chrome with Commanding Curve in a  $4 exacta box, which paid $340. I'm happy to have finally picked a Kentucky Derby winner. The Preakness is in two weeks, and I can't wait.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop, starting at about 8:15 this morning, in 29:47, and then drove to Oaklawn Park in Hot Springs, with John Kelley, to bet my selections from last night. I have not picked a Kentucky Derby winner since 2004, when Smarty Jones passed Lion Heart late. California Chrome is, I think, the first favorite I have picked since then, and I feel somewhat confident. I indeed believe that California Chrome has a chance to become one of the greats—like Secretariat, or Citation, a thoroughbred with a name familiar to almost everyone. Mostly, though, I hope for my long-shot selection to win. If Commanding Curve comes through, I think I'll finally be able to afford cat lessons for Samantha, and possibly a tall man to put in back seat of my Camry.

Levy Trail/38th Street Loop/Kentucky Derby

I jogged one of each five minutes to complete three miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 43:18, and felt wonderful. My legs are ready to go, and I think my shoulder is almost golf ready. Late this afternoon I walked the 38th Street Loop in 34:30.

PETE THE WIZARD'S STONE COLD KENTUCKY DERBY LOCKS OF A LIFETIME AND SHIT

$20/win, No. 5 California Chrome — estimated return: $40

$5/win, No. 17 Command Curve — estimated return: $180

$2/exacta box, No. 5 w/ No. 17 — estimated return: either $190 or $520

$2/exacta box, No. 4 Danza w/ No. 5 — estimated return: either $40 or $60

$1 superfecta, No. 5 w/ No. 4 w/ No. 20 Wicked Strong, w/ No. 6 Samraat, No. 10 Wildcat Red, No. 13 Chitu, No. 15 Tapiture, No. 17, No. 19 Ride on Curlin — estimated return: $2,700-$9,000

$1 superfecta, No. 17, w/ No. 5, w/ No. 19, w/ No. 10 — estimated return: $200,006

Levy Trail

I walked two miles on the Levy Trail this morning in 32:22.

Burns Park Loop

I jogged four or five times for a total of no more than five minutes, and otherwise walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:34:40. My legs are close to recovered, I think. At any rate, they are no longer sore. My shoulder feels much better. In fact, I was up for a couple of hours this morning before I thought about it. I have at least temporarily decided to make Ruth an indoor cat. She's been in since Sunday, and seems to be steadily adapting. Jo hasn't fought with her in my presence since Monday morning.

Levy Trail

I walked three miles on the Levy Trail this afternoon in 48:23. My legs feel better. My shoulder remains very sore.

Orange Street Loop

My left shoulder and chest are so sore they hurt as I breathe, and my legs are virtually lifeless. Nevertheless, I walked the Orange Street Loop this morning in 47:44. The weathermen, in typical fashion, overstated the potential force of last night's tornados; only fourteen people are known dead. Mayflower and Vilonia were blown halfway to Missouri, but the greater Levy metropolitan area went unscathed. A video just broadcast on KTHV-Ch. 11 showed that the Daylight Donut Shop in Vilonia was leveled. Pam's Boy's thoughts of course go out to donut eaters from that part of Faulkner County.

Levy Loop

My shoulder and legs are sore this morning, but I am confident the former is not injured severely enough to require medical treatment. My feet hurt a little. I had a reasonably comfortable walk this morning on the Levy Loop. It took me 33:34. We had a pretty strong thunderstorm this morning, and they say another will come through this evening and probably kill everyone in Arkansas. I wonder what that would do to the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Ruth meowed at my backdoor early this afternoon. At 4:36 p.m., she is sleeping near the television.

Ouachita Trail 50K

These ultra runs can be so hard for me, particularly when I'm unfit, and it's too hot or cold for my glucometer to work. Those were my excuses today. I got to Turd's aid station at 19 miles and realized that I could no longer measure my blood sugar. I was feeling kind of shaky, and had fallen very hard on my left shoulder about two miles earlier. It was hot. Turd encouraged me to try to make the next aid station. Two miles later, nearing the scenic vista, I was stumbling around like a drunk. I asked Ron to tell the crew ahead that I had dropped, and turned to walk back to Turd's. Here's the new experience that confused me. I did my typical series of mental tests: naming presidents backwards to McKinley, doing simple one-digit-by-two digit multiplication. I even did the ol', How old was Erin Vratil in (name the year). No problem, which worried me a little, as if perhaps I were in some sort of physical jeopardy unrelated to hypoglycemia. I ate two tubes of Peach Cobbler flavored Gu spinoff someone gave me, and ten minutes later felt great and was walking strongly. Fuck. I debated turning back toward the finish. But, I was twenty minute's from Turd's and a bunch of cold beer. I had one tube of gel left, and no water, and chose the beer. Counting that last four miles on the course, plus two roundtrips between the aid station and Turd's house, I covered approximately 25 miles in a total of 7:40:57. I think I'll call it the first training run of my 13-week, Midnight 50K program. I declared today that I'm quitting these races unless I finish somewhat like a normal motherfucker in July. We'll see. I wonder how badly my shoulder will hurt in the morning. I realized when I was at the grocery store a few minutes ago that my left. jaw also took a pretty solid shot (and also that my wallet was in the console of the car in my driveway). On top of all that, I haven't seen Ruth since Wednesday.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:03. Now they're predicting 83°F for the high tomorrow, but with low humidity. That might not be so bad. They say it'll be about 53 when we start. My legs felt good when I walked this morning, and now, at about 4 p.m., I feel eager to start. So, here's my new over-under number: 9:47:56. That's an 18:59/mile pace. Starting at about 6:30 this evening, I walked two miles on the Levy Trail about as slowly as I can go, to complete the loop in 33:01. It was very easy. I feel great, but am starting to get nervous. Not about the race, but about the other stuff, like getting up in time, and balancing my blood sugar. Most Pam's Boy readers know the deal, and how those two things relate; I want my blood sugar low when I get up, but not so low that I wake up on my knees at about 8:30. We'll see.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:16. My legs felt pretty lively, but the weather forecast for Saturday prevents from monkeying with my Ouachita Trail 50K over-under. They say the high will be 86°F. Considering that I have finished one 50K in three attempts, and the weather, I'll have to set my odds of finishing at 2-1. I'm unsure what to recommend. I do plan to start very slowly, which will give me a chance, but, man, I can imagine getting to Pinnacle on the way back and not wanting to face that final 4.2 miles, or quitting at Bob Turd's. We'll see. I am obviously undertrained.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Pinnacle Mountain

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:51. That was faster than expected, particularly considering I stopped for at least a minute, and maybe longer, to help an enormous and apparently deaf and mute man put on a leaf-blower backpack, which was roughly as complex as third-term college geometry. This afternoon I attempted to find the fastest way down the west side of Pinnacle Mountain, and believe I have. There are two keys: first, take the old, shaded trail down to the point where it intersects with the common, yellow trail. Then, take the the yellow trail, and not the new gravel road that connects with the base trail. Those two things saved me a total of about two minutes, so I'm dropping my over-under for the Ouachita Trail 50K to 10:38:46. I climbed to the secondary peak today, which I had never been on, and then to the slightly higher conventional peak. In all, I was on my feet for 1:28:03. No, wait; I sat on a bench for a minute or two. I might have gone two miles, or maybe a little more.

OVERHEARD
"All right you red savages, you want a fight, you've got one!"
—character on Gunsmoke to a group of native Americans and/or white men disguised as native Americans. His comment made Pam's Boy wonder whether anyone at CBS, back in c. 1968, had any misgivings about the character's choice of address, regardless of its accuracy to the era depicted