Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 31:42. Rain began to fall about five minutes out.

Levy Trail Loop/Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 32:05. Yesterday morning, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:06.

Levy Trail Loop

 I jogged the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 22:40. It was my easiest non-stop run this year.

38th Street Loop

 I walked the Maple Street Loop late this morning in 32:11. En route, I spoke to Red and with the woman she lives with. Both seemed well. Late last month, I accidentally signed up for a free month of Amazon Prime. I plan to call its 800 number the day after tomorrow to cancel. Crazy as this sounds, my only reward for that mistake comes today when their website streams the San Francisco 49ers-Arizona Cardinals game.

I PLAN TO STAB... , as perhaps a byproduct of Covid-19 fatigue, the next person on television who tells anyone to wash their goddamn hands

Original Levy Loop

 It's too bad we can't count on climate change. On a perfect globe, man's warming effect would have some goddamn consistency to it. It wouldn't be 30°F at 10 a.m. on Christmas and when it was, the wind wouldn't blow like two motherfuckers. I walked the original Levy Loop this morning in 29:27 (during which a large, big-jawed, mad-acting, mean-looking dog bit my left upper thigh an inch of so below paydirt. His owner called him in before I was eaten or teeth met flesh through my bluejeans).

Ghetto Cat Loop

 I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop late this afternoon in 33:15. For the first time since last winter, it's fucking cold here. You know, 36°F at 4:56 in the afternoon with a RealFeel® of 27. This came on today, literally out of the blue. I'll have to leave a faucet dripping tonight. 

Burns Park Tournament Course/Original Levy Loop

 Ed and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. Ed scored 87. and I scored 88, with nines of 41 and 47. I used 32 putts. I had 6 pars, 8 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 quadruple. This evening, I walked the original Levy Loop in 31:17.

I PLAN TO STAB...the next person to say, "...try and...," rather than, "...try to...," as in a guest reporter on National Public Radio who this afternoon said, " 'I will try and do that.' " This common, nonsensical disaster of grammar must be stopped before it becomes acceptable

Original Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the original Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:01.

QUESTION OF DAY For my fellow blogger.com users: Has anyone found any advantage to either of the two significant changes the site has made since Erin and I began to use it in late 2007?

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:14. Ed and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning and afternoon. Ed scored 91 and I scored 95, with nines of 46 and 49. I used  39 putts.

Levy Trail South

 I jogged Levy Trail South this morning in 25:14.

QUESTION OF THE DAY How long would the mask debate continue if the coronavirus were to mutate into six billion polar bears?

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop through a cold mist this morning in 31:31.

38th Street Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

 I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:32. There is a bit more liveliness in my legs. That lack stopped a non-stop run attempt last Sunday. I hope to go at least two miles the day after tomorrow. This morning and afternoon, John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course. I scored 90, Ed 95, and John 104. I had nines of 47 and 43, with 6 pars, 7 bogies, 4 doubles, and 1 quadruple. I used 31 putts.

Poplar Street Loop

 I walked the Poplar Street Loop this morning in 33:31.

Ghetto Cat Loop

 I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 33:16.

Levy Trail 10K/last week

 I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks on Miles 2, 3, and 4 and otherwise walked the Levy Trail 10K this very cold morning. Including that effort, since my last post on Tuesday, December 8, I have walked, jogged, and run a total of 28 miles and played three rounds of golf. I scored 87 and 92 on Burns Park Tournament Course and 90 on the Championship course.

Pam's Path, Jr., intervals

 I alternated one-minute runs with with one-minute jogs for the middle two miles of Pam's Path, Jr., this morning, and walked and jogged the first and last, to complete the course in 52:22, with splits of 14:13, 12:20, 12:02, and 13:44.

Levy Trail North/Burns Park Championship Course/ Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 31:48. Unlike after my last non-stop run, my legs were not sore. This evening, a bit after nightfall, I walked Levy Trail South in 31:58. This morning and early afternoon, John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course. Ed scored 87, I scored 96, and John 104. I had nines of 49 and 47, with 1 par, 10 bogies, 6 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 34 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY  Had anyone other than I never heard of Clorox Wipes before March 2020?

Levy Trail 5K

 My legs weren't quite as lively as they were last Sunday for my previous non-stop effort, but I nevertheless ran further and faster. I jogged the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 36:50, with splits of 12:05, 11:49, and 11:48. I went through three miles in 35:42. Last week, I ran two miles in 24:53. Today, I went through in 23:54.

Pam's Path, Jr./Levy Trail Loop

 I walked Pam's Path, Jr., late this morning 1:05:54, with splits of 16:10, 16:20, 16:33, and 16:51. This afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 29:48.

Levy Trail 5K/Burns Park Championship Course

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 96. I scored 97, and John 100. I had nines of 49 and 48, with 4 pars, 5 bogies, 7 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 35 putts. Earlier, just past daybreak, I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete the Levy Trail 5K in 42:30, with splits of 14:13, 13:25, and 13:29. I went through three miles in 41:06.

Levy Trail 10K

 I walked the Levy Trail 10K this morning in 1:41:51.

Pam's Path, Jr.

 I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Pam's Path, Jr., in 58:42, with splits of 14:43, 14:49, 14:49, and 14:20.

I PLAN TO STAB...the next person to say, "...on steroids," unless they speak of humans or animals on steroids. It was funny in the mid-1990s and for a few years thereafter. Now it sounds like an advertisement for linebackers and body builders

Levy Trail Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

 I walked Levy Trail South this 25°F morning in 31:21. My hamstrings are sore from my non-stop run Sunday morning. Beginning at 10 a.m., John and I played Burns Park Championship Course. I had another all-or-nothing round, with a 92. John scored 99. I had nines of 47 and 45, with 8 pars, 4 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, and 2 quadruples. I used 32 putts, the final a one-putt from five feet to save par on No. 18, about six hours before I decided to come out as a man who's had a crush on Elliot Page since 2006. I didn't see that coming.

Pam's Path, Jr.

 I walked Pam's Path, Jr., this windy, cold morning in 1:03:38. Ed Pennington and I plan to golf at noon, but I don't know. We did golf, but the wind was so extreme we quit keeping score after a couple of holes. We played the Tournament course.

Levy Trail South/Levy Trail

 I thought within the first two minutes of my tour of Levy Trail South this morning I would complete it at a non-stop jog, which I did in 24:53 through steady, cold rainfall. This is my first continuous run of this length in—a guess—two or more years, and it was easy. I'm pleased. Late this afternoon, I walked a bit further than three miles on the Levy Trail in 46:20.

OVERHEARD "Pretty wedding, ain't it?" —fellow as he rode by on a bike on the Levy Trail this morning. It took me at least 1.4 seconds of confusion before I realized he said, "Pretty wet, ain't it?," to which I, far too delayed, replied, "It is. Yes."

Pam's Path/Levy Trail South

 I walked Pam's Path at lunchtime today in 1:03:32. Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 30:41. Two hours after my last walk, I sit a good fifteen feet from anyone else in the Pulaski Academy press box. It was a pleasant surprise after my tricky walk here from a parking lot packed with Chevy Tahoes. The word's finally out, it seems. PA has a huge, climate-controlled press box, heretofore crowded with all sorts of nonessential people, but not tonight. There are five others in here.

War Memorial Golf Course

 Six other Geezers and John Czarnecki and I walked approximately 4.1 miles around War Memorial Golf Course this morning. We were out for 1:16:09. As of a little after 2 p.m., I have eaten a whole fried catfish and, a fried chicken thigh, and a smoothie made of beets, blueberries, and prune juice, spiced with cayenne and black pepper, and turmeric. That's 870 calories. I don't believe I will reach 3,230 today, but a Petit Jean ham comes up in about fifteen minutes.

Levy Trail South/Maple Street Loop

 I walked Levy Trail South early this afternoon in 31:12. Tonight, beginning a bit after seven o'clock, I walked the Maple Street Loop in 31:57. My legs felt as if they belonged to a runner today. On the Maple Street Loop, I had to run across 47th Street to avoid traffic. I continued to jog for another fifteen seconds or so, and it felt easy.

I have run a calorie deficit adequate enough over the last week to allow me to—without exercise (and I plan to go about four miles with the Geezers in the morning)—eat a total of 3,230 calories tomorrow and still have maintained an average deficit of 500 for the last seven days, counting Thanksgiving. For the first time since 2005, I will not eat Thanksgiving dinner at the Krupsaw's house. To compensate, I have two apples pies, two whole catfish, and a five-pound Petit Jean Ham in my refrigerator, each ready for either an oven or skillet. The ham should be gone before bedtime Sunday.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY Can anyone imagine how delicious prime rib would be now if Native Americans brought it rather turkey to the Pilgrims, what with mothers and grandmothers working on the best parts of cows for the last four-hundred years rather than birds composed of leather and rubber? What if they had brought several huge platters of lasagna or a couple of hundred cheese enchiladas? For anyone who stops to consider what our moms have made of an essentially inedible animal over the last four centuries, can they not imagine what these women would have done with fried chicken by now? How good would pizzas be, or Macaroni and fucking cheese? Can anyone imagine?

Levy Trail 10K

 I walked the Levy Trail 10K this morning in 1:41:07, with splits of 16:52, 16:24, 16:28, 48:18 for Miles 4-6, and 3:05. Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 34:23.

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South through steady rain this morning in 32:03.

OVERHEARD "What a lovely putting stroke that is. I'd love to have that one for a year." —Golf Channel announcer from the Joburg Open in Johannesburg, South Africa

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 34:16.

I PLAN TO STAB...the next person to say, "Have a blessed day."

Burns Park Tournament Course/Levy Trail South

 Ed, John, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. I scored 86, Ed 88, John 93. I had nines of 41 and 45, with 7 pars, 6, bogies, 5 doubles, and used 28 putts. An hour or so before I reported on the Sylvan Hills Bears' 7-0 playoff victory over the Little Rock Parkview Patriots, I walked Levy Trail South in 31:54.

Original Pam's Path

 As of this morning, three Pam's Paths are extant. A few minutes ago, I stepped in from a walk of the original course, completed in 1:04:12. This is the one I walked with a Pam's Boy reader in the spring of 2018. There are also Pam's Path and Pam's Path, Jr., both introduced after the Levy Trail was paved north to Kierre Drive in North Little Rock.

OVERHEARD "About seventy-five percent of Jeopardy contestants have never won the game." —woman on National Public Radio this morning who has written about the game show Jeopardy. Pete wondered if her comment should generate the following Questions of the Day, "Do the fuck what? Haven't something like almost exactly 66.6 percent of Jeopardy contestants never won the game?"

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY How many American adults have participated in literal goddamn celebratory back flips over the Center for Disease Control and Prevention's recommendation that they stay home for Thanksgiving? How many have asked their spouses at least the equivalent of, "And this shit probably won't be over before Christmas, right?"

38th Street Loop

 I walked the 38th Street Loop before daybreak today in 31:32. This was my first walk before golf in several months. Ed and John joined me for a round at Burns Park Championship Course. Ed scored 90, I scored 96, and John 98. I had nines of 49 and 47 and used 39 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY Is the insistence by some progressive Democrats that president-elect Biden seek to prosecute his predecessor demonstrative of President Trump's leadership ability?

Pam's Path, Jr.

 I walked Pam's Path, Jr., this morning in 1:07:14, with splits of 16:54, 16:57, 16:58, and 16:25.

QUESTION OF THE DAY... When did it become so fashionable to badmouth pumpkin spice?

Burns Park Championship Golf Course/Levy Trail Loop

 It's hard to say why I failed to report this earlier, but a week or so ago, some jackass moved the red tees on six holes of the Burns Park Championship Course back to the yellow tees. Consequently, a third of the holes are unreachable for us in regulation, which makes the course about six strokes harder. This morning, Ed scored 94, I scored 100, and John 104. I had nines of 48 and 52 and used 35 putts. Late in the afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:25.

Maple Street Loop

 I walked the Maple Street Loop this evening in 34:04.

Burns Park Championship Course/ Levy Trail South/Levy Trail Loop/Joe report

 Back in good form, I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 30:46.

Joe walked across my head at about 5:30 this morning. To his credit, it only took two loud nos and one grab and replacement to the back-bedroom's back-wall side of my midsection to stop him. An hour later, when I was ready to get up, I awoke to him on another pillow, quietly looking at me. This relative cure has come about over the last six weeks, when I began walking him to a soon-closed-behind-him bedroom door rather than the front door of my house. It's nice to have smart pets (by which I of course mean smart relative to non-human mammals. No matter how smart dogs or cats are, including the smartest to have lived, if anyone had a child with the limited ability of the world's two primary pets, people would speak sorrowfully and admirably of them. "Poor Pete. His child Joe, as a ten-year-old, has learned the definition of one word. And Chris and Erin, God bless them. They have to walk their eighty-year-old daughter Scout through the neighborhood until she moves her bowels on a sidewalk. Those things would be nightmares for most us, but these wonderful people act as if they are delighted by their burdens.").

Ed, John, and I played Burns Park Championship Course on Friday morning. Ed scored 92, John 95, and I scored 98, with nines of 51 and 47. I used 34 putts. Whereas Wednesday I had nine pars, I had two yesterday. Late in the afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:09.

OVERHEARD "God, the fricking mud, man. Look at that." —Justin Thomas after his approach shot on No. 9 at Augusta National

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 35:31.

OVERHEARD "Look at that thing. Are you kidding me? Fuck." —Tiger Woods immediately after he pulled an approach iron to miss the No. 10 green at Augusta National. Woods is part of one of two feature groups currently being streamed live on the same telecast from the Masters (as of 10:19 a.m.).

QUESTION OF THE DAY Does anyone other than I suspect the far left has begun to engage in wishful thinking with its widely-expressed concern that our jackass in chief will attempt a coup?

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South early this afternoon, about an hour after a round of golf, in 35:05. This morning, Ed Pennington and I played Burns Park Championship Course. I had a very up-and-down round. Ed played poorly for this first time in my three years and four months of experience with him I scored 89 and Ed 102. I had nines of 43 and 46 with 9 pars, 4 bogies, 2 doubles, 2 triples, 1 quadruple, and used 32 putts. The highlight of my round was that I found a shorter but more aggressive short pitch shot. I did not miss one today. Again, I hit a total of one good iron shot through the first four holes but got pretty good at them thereafter.

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 32:25. My hip is close to healed.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North late this morning in 33:57. My hip feels much better, which heightens my hope I can return to golf by Wednesday.

The Democrat Football League Fat Chicks roared back to beat the Green Bay Packers, c. 118-110. We're 4-5 with an uphill battle to make the playoffs. It might take a 3-1 finish.

QUESTION OF THE DAY What has happened to journalism? Back in the days of acceptable standards, no newspaper worth the ink used in its headlines would write one like this from CNN...:

Fact Check: Trump continues to tweet baseless claims of election fraud in swing states

They have become the only sort published the last few days, which is a shameful and unsafe loss. Remove the word "baseless," and they're fine. Otherwise, what once were our role models for information are indistinguishable from those who publish posts on Facebook (not counting the ones about sandblasting spice for pumpkin bread)

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 35:53.

My Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers stand at 4-4 through last week. In sixth place, we would make the playoffs if the season was complete. We are, as of 12:30 p.m., projected to beat Walt's Fat Chicks by a little over 19 points. There is obviously a long way to go. My National Football League Green Bay Packers are 6-2 and playing quite well. We dominated the San Francisco 69ers last Thursday.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 37:14.

In July of 2014, I fell and injured my right hip. I injured my left hip in a fall late Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning. Both injuries defied an easy diagnosis. Six years ago, I thought I had pulled my groin for several days before the theretofore very diffuse pain isolated itself to my hip joint. Likewise, this time I thought for the first day I had injured my lower back. Thursday and yesterday, I feared kidney damage. Finally, this morning, much to my relief, I knew the pain came from my hip. Consequently, I have eaten a ridiculously anti-inflammatory diet throughout today and already feel much better.

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning 34:32.

Levy Trail

Five other Geezers and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning. I was out for 1:59:48. This evening, I walked about Little Rock Christian for 38:05. There was a radio crew from Pine Bluff in the room I sat in in last month, but a manager graciously set up a table for me on deck at the left end of the press box, somewhat reminiscent of an experience I had in Mountain Home in November of 2006.

Levy Trail

I walked about Levy, primarily on the Levy Trail, this morning for 36:40.

I PLAN TO STAB ...everyone who makes a big fuss about either side of abortion- and gun-rights issues, and any adult who chooses to wear horned-rim glasses that are not black or dark brown (which means stars of major network morning news shows and late-night election coverage will soon begin to drop like goddamn flies)

River Trail

 A handful of other Geezers and I walked on the River Trail from Cooks landing this morning for 1:42:54.

Hash/Levy Trail Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning, as a warmup for golf, in 33:58. Yesterday afternoon, I was out on a run with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers from near the former Burns Park dog park for 40:08.

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed and I scored 93 and John 97. I had nines of 46 and 47, with everything from a 1 birdie to 1 quadruple bogie. I used 30 putts.

Burns Park Tournament Course/Ghetto Cat Loop

 I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 34:38. Yesterday, John Czarnecki and I played the Burns Park Tournament Course in 98 and 92, respectively. I guess I tossed out the scorecard. It was too cold for a while and too wet all along.

Burns Park Championship Course

 John, Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 76, Ed and I scored 89 and John 96. I had nines of 47 and 42, with 1 birdie, 4 pars, 8 bogies, 4 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 33 putts.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this gray, cold morning in 49:09, with a three-mile split of 47:37. En route, I twice passed two lovely female dogs, one a mutt, the other a typical wolf offshoot. As I approached them the second time, near my house, they were in commune with dogs in a backyard, on the free side of a fence from which I heroically saved a big, dirty brown dog a few months ago. Just then, an overweight fifty-year-old blonde woman drove up in a white SUV. She told me the dogs had escaped from her overnight. I was pleased, of course, though I had kind of hoped they would follow me home so I could see how Joe, Jr., reacted to them.

Now to polish O.C. and drive to Russellville for another load of dead Crutch loot.

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 33:17.

A tightened phillips-head screw cured a significant rattle in my 2000 Crown Vic's passenger's side front door this morning, a pleasing and somewhat surprising result of a couple of wrist turns. Almost instantly, the car felt newer.

Levy

 

I walked about the greater Levy Metropolitan area this afternoon for 42:15.

ROCKAMUNDO RECOMMENDATION OF THE DAY Duct tape, long known as a household staple of nearly infinite applications, has taken its usefulness in the homes of chocolate and non-chocolate beer drinkers to a new level. New and used rolls of the product can be used as cup holders that increase the security of drinks balanced on random chair and couch arms to a heretofore unimaginable levels.* Pete has also found they make nearly perfect television and streaming-television remote-control holders.

*they are neither dog nor cat proof but hold up pretty well against random elbows and forgetfulness. Cans, bottles, juice glasses, plastic cups and the like will absolutely not tip over on their own or just because a 185-pound moron flops down onto the chair or couch

Levy Trail North

 I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime today in 33:01.

WOULD YOU RATHER...have to watch, out of reach of reading materials and technological devices, an hour loop of all the Go Daddy television commercials followed by an hour loop of Peloton commercials once a day for the next six months, or would you rather be inserted directly into the center of the Sun?

Levy Trail Loop/Little Rock Christian High

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 33:13.

This evening, I walked about the campus of Little Rock Christian High for 35:14. Christian's game against Little Rock Hall High will start in, if the scoreboard is believable, ten minutes and thirty-six seconds from now. I have a large room all to myself in the press box. Consequently, this would have been a great game to take a girlfriend to.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY If vice president Biden wins the presidential election next month and shortly thereafter nominates four justices to give his party the majority of supreme court nominees, wouldn't the next Republican presidency and congress subsequently add more at first opportunity to reverse the balance, and wouldn't that make our country judicially similar to Egypt, Uganda, and Bolivia, or is that the idea, you know, so we can change laws willy-nilly—at the whim of those in power—from here on out?

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South early this evening in 33:35.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 34:03, shortly after I drove my 2000 Crown Vic in from the Lake Hamilton School District in Pearcy. Unlike the 2005 model I owned most of last year before a pole fell on it seven months ago, this car feels old. In fact, Joe, Jr., has already nicknamed it Old Clunker, or rather O.C. It is just as powerful, comfortable, and climate-controlled as the '05, but it feels old to drive, like the cars I drove in college. I hope I get used to it, but if not, I believe most people who test drive it won't expect as much as I did from a $1,870 car. It should be fairly easy to sell, I hope.

O.C. cleaned up nicely. It is a very dark gray, but it shows odd hints of brown, somewhat like Pam and Jo, Sr., did.

Levy Trail

Geezers Ron and Elaine, Rosemary, and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning for 1:27:42. I walked to join them approximately seven and half minutes after I bought a twenty-year-old, rather boring Crown Victoria for $1,700.

Lake Hamilton School District/Burns Park Championship Course

 This round might have produced the most acute negative turnaround in my experience as a golfer. Dan, Ed, John and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 78, Ed 90, and John 100. I scored 91 with nines of 39 and 52. I had my fifth lifetime eagle on the Par-5 fourth hole, with a five-wood, six-iron, and a chip from the fringe. On the back nine, I did not par and had a 10 on the Par-4 15th. As a foursome, we were a combined 14-over on that hole with it's irrational, nearly impossible pin placement. I used 28 putts.

Late yesterday morning, I walked for a few seconds over forty minutes around the bulk of the Lake Hamilton School District in Pearcy, about ten miles southwest of Hot Springs. I was there to look at a 2000 Crown Victoria, for sale on govdeals.com. Here it is: https://www.govdeals.com/index.cfm?fa=Main.Item&itemid=734&acctid=4885

I hope a bid of $1,700 or less will win it tomorrow (Thursday) morning. It will likely run well for the rest of my life and is no more than perhaps $1,000 from cosmetic perfection.

Burns Park Championship Course

 John, Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 81, Ed, 88, I scored 89, and John 97. I had nines of 46 and 43 and used 33 putts. The greens were still faster than two motherfuckers, but the pins were in more hospitable places, the rough was shorter, and the fairways far wider than they were six days ago.

West Levy Loop

I walked the new West Levy Loop late this morning in 43:08. The loop is about two and three-quarter miles long, about sixty percent of which is on the western side of Camp Robinson Road. It's a bit of a different world over there. On average, its people are poorer and, in my limited experience, a bit more standoffish, though I spoke briefly today with one among four young men—drinking from brown paper sacks on a front porch—about the loveliness of his Crown Vic.

QUESTION OF THE DAY  For the love of Pete, how many people with access to the White House have porked Hope Hicks?

Levy

 I walked about Levy and the Levy Trail for 36:42 this morning.

En route, I saw Red the cat for the first time since June 13, 2018. She's starting to get up there in age, but she walked right to me and let me pick her up.* Her real name is Sammy, her owner Helen Langley told me back in 2017. Helen hinted she might consider giving her to me. Red's cool. I wonder what Joe would think.

*I first saw and held Red, back when I thought she was a boy, on Nov. 9, 2011. After my walk that day I wrote: "I had a rare cat experience today. I might get one of these every couple of years or so; a cat in the wreck of a neighborhood on the other side of 47th Street, a half a mile from here, toward the end of my walk, ran from the street up a driveway toward his house when he saw me approach. He turned and hunched down, thirty feet from the street. Just as I reached the base of the driveway, he meowed. I stopped and made the clicking sound that I make with my tongue to attract pets. The cat stepped forward a foot or so, then hesitated. I sat on my heels, repeated the sound, and, as I expected, he jogged to me, and purred as I petted him and picked him up. He was an orange tiger cat, short hair, maybe a pound or two heavier than Jo. I hope to see him again."

Burns Park Championship Course

 John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, Dan Young, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning, two days after the final round of the Arkansas Open. They mowed the greens in front of us. It rained yesterday, so they could not mow the rough. The pins remained just as they were Sunday, so we played a course that played a bit harder than the one the pros played, though from the far front rather than the far back. Dan scored 86 and Ed 95. I scored 97 and John 106. I had nines of 48 and 49, with 5 pars, 4 bogies, 5 doubles, and 4 triples. I used 35 putts.

Ed, Dan, and I plan to play again tomorrow.

Levy Trail South/Green Bay Packers report

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:32.

The Democrat Football League Green Bay Packers improved their record to 2-1 with c. 139-122 victory over Corona Virus 19. They won their opener by about 75 points, and lost by 2 last week. They're in fourth place in the 14-team league but have been incredibly lucky. They hope to make the playoffs, which will take further work.

The NFL Packers, on the other hand, are 3-0 and wound up. They are Super Bowl contenders.

Levy

 I walked around Levy this morning for 38:08.

Levy Trail South

 Since I last exercised, it's turned fall here. I walked Levy Trail South early this morning through a dark, wet 58°F in 33:08.

Levy Trail

 Sixth other Geezers and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning. I was out for 1:36:27.

As I watch the U.S. Open, I am pleased to see how many professional golfers now have 7-woods in their bags. When I first began to use one, back in c. 1998, I was scoffed at a bit for using a club many thought was put on earth for women and old men. It was always and remains my most reliable club.

Burns Park Tournament Course

 John, Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. Dan scored 83. I scored 88, Ed 93, and John 95. I had nines of 46 and 43 and used 28 putts.

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 32:15 at lunchtime today.

Shortly before my walk, I made my annual Sling TV four-month sign-up, mainly so I can watch Monday Night Football. The great bonus this afternoon was that I got to watch Stewart Cink win a PGA Tour event for the first time since the '09 Open Championship. He won the nearly meaningless Safeway Open over a bunch of men I had never heard of, but it was a hoot to watch.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:19.

Friday morning, I played Burns Park Championship Course with John Czarnecki and Dan Young. Dan scored 84. I scored 95 and John 97. I played OK for my first day with a club in my hand in nearly three weeks. I had nines of 51 and 44 and used 29 putts.

OVERHEARD "He's playing like his hands are made out of feet." —analyst for the Seattle-Atlanta game on Fox, talking about a receiver for Seattle who dropped what should have been an easy catch

Levy Trail

 A handful of other Geezers and I walked on the Levy Trail this morning. I was out for 1:52:10.

QUESTION OF THE DAY Why do people so quickly forget that s'mores don't taste nearly as good as they look or sound and are completely unworthy of the effort required to make them?

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 31:58.

Levy Trail Loop/Joe report

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this morning in 32:53.

Joe is a different sort of cat. When I walked in Friday afternoon after having been away for twenty-eight hours, he didn't go right outside, the responses common to  Pams 1 and 2, Samantha, and Jo after I had been away for a while. Instead, he followed me everywhere I went and meowed non-stop until I finally picked him up. Then he went outside.

The Crown Victoria in Knoxville, Tenn., had two flat tires and was a cosmetic wreck. There was simply no way for me to test drive it. The fellow I talked to a couple of days ago said he didn't know the tires were flat when we spoke.

Oh well. I had a fun adventure. It had been thirty-eight years since I last rode through Knoxville. I had no memory of how winding and steep I-40 is through the Smokey Mountains, maybe because I rode along with a bunch of drunk Hashers the only other time.

DOCTOR PETE'S STONE-COLD KENTUCKY DERBY PILES OF MONEY PICKS

Bet $10 win on my longest shot ever. Currently at 51-1, Attachment Rate (No. 13), can't lose. Also, on the very outside chance he can, bet a $5 exacta box for a total of $10 on Attachment Rate and the heavy favorite, Tiz the Law (17). Bet a $1trifecta box for a total of $12 with Attachment Rate-Tiz the Law, Attachment Rate-Tiz the Law, and Thousand Words (10)-Necker Island (11)-Authentic (18). Finally, bet  a cold $1 superfecta that will likely pay at least $500,000 and maybe more than $1 million, with, in order, Attachment Rate, Tiz the Law, Thousand Words, and Necker Island.

Holman Street Loop

 KNOXVILLE, Tenn.—I walked two laps of the Holman Street Loop this morning in 47:16.

QUESTION OF THE DAY Why does anyone put up signs that say, "NO DUMPING"? Is dumping allowed anywhere? I guess they're afraid some are not aware of the general dumping prohibition. "Rats, honey. I thought for sure I could dump all this crap in the middle of this neighborhood on Holman Street."

OVERHEARD "What we actually know about this issue is completely up in the air" — guest on host Jen White's NPR 1A program*

"It might become just like the the hanging-chad deal, which happened in 2008, I think." — guest on host Jen White's NPR 1A program*

*we at Pam's Boy wonder how much hair Jen White pulled out of her head based on this single hour of network radio

 

Knoxville, Tenn./Joe report

 KNOXVILLE, Tenn.—I walked through a light rain for 40:12 tonight from my room in the Red Roof Inn.

Joe is set up way better than if I were to die in my sleep on Orange Street, except I'm not there for the first full night since I bought him on April 4, 2019. He won't have me to snack on once the food runs out if I don't make it out of Knoxville. I miss him quite a bit, the irritating, lovable and loving sack-of-shit cat. He is a gem.

I am in Knoxville to look at a govdeals.com 2011 Crown Victoria tomorrow (Friday) morning. I might bid on it Monday when the auction closes. My readers can view it on the website; go to the search box and type in Crown Victoria and then scroll down several cars before you see Knoxville.

One thing I have learned. Even if I like this car enough to buy it, I will never again travel this far (526 miles) to look at one. The part of me that doesn't want to drive all the way across Tennessee twice again next week—a fairly big part—hopes this motherfucker blows up during my test drive.

QUESTION OF THE DAY

Why do conservatives and liberals watch Fox News and CNN, respectively? Surely none with minds do. I have watched both on Red Rough Inn's cable tonight, and they are each equally pure and fucking shameful, borderline satirical propaganda 

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South early this afternoon in 31:57.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South and lunchtime today in 32:14.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop at lunchtime today in 31:35.

QUESTION  OF THE DAY
Does anyone other than I, as a matter of routine, attempt to walk, stand, or sit at least six feet from others regardless of the circumstance?*
*I just spent fifteen minutes at Kroger and had two misses, both of which were rendered unavoidable by others. This game takes patience and a willingness to walk further, but that's all

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:51. Rain from Hurricane Laura began to fall in Levy just as I started my walk a couple of hours ago. Laura is forecasted to strike the greater Levy metropolitan area tonight as its first tropical storm since Rita in September 2005. All hatches are buttoned.
Laura was no Rita. It came in much earlier than projected, which a man on TV said helped degrade it. According to the National Weather Service's website at 6:09 p.m., only 2.1 inches of rain have fallen since this morning. The wind topped out at 29 mph. We have had far more significant thunderstorms this year. Obviously, we will have to wait a while for our next tropical storm.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South early this morning in 33:19.

Burns Park Championship Course

Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 76. Ed and I scored 88.

Pam's Path, Jr.

I walked Pam's Path, Jr., at lunchtime today in 1:04:25, with splits of 16:22, 16:05, 16:15, and 15:43.

OVERHEARD
"It didn't take anything. I could just say, 'Black people in South Carolina.' "
—male African-American comedian on NPR this morning on how easy it was to make Vice President Biden cry

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 32:40.
I weighed 179.0 pounds this morning and have weighed under 180 the last three. This is my first time in the 170s since August 2018, when I was in training for my last 50K. Next up, a dip into the 160s, where I haven't been since c. December 2010, when I was stuck in Nashville with Miss Jane.

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course.

I walked Levy Trail South in 28:40, with landmark splits of 5:15, (47th St., par 5:30), 8:28(43rd St., 9:00), 13:07 (14:00, 38th St.), 17:38 (34th St., 19:00), 22:10 (38th St., 24:00), 26:45 (43rd St., 29:00), and 1:54 (home, 31:00).
I'm pretty sure I won't break par on the golf course today.
Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 75, Ed 87, and I scored 91. My short game was not very good. As evidence, I used 38 putts. I had nines of 44 and 47.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K late this afternoon in 48:35, with splits of 16:01, 15:45, and 15:20.

Burns Park Tournament Course/Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 31:29.
This morning Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course. Dan scored 84, Ed 88, and I scored 91, with nines of 42 and 49. I used 33 putts.

Burns Park Championship Course/Pam's Path, Jr./Levy Trail

I played the back nine of Burns Park Championship Course this morning in 42, with 4 pars, 4 bogies, and 1 double. I used 11 putts, which might be a personal record for fewest over nine holes. I had seven one-putts, mostly due to successful chips. Of those seven, five were inside two feet. I made the other two from four and six feet.
Late this morning, I walked Pam's Path, Jr., in 1:03:38, with splits of 16:07, 16:09, 16:07, and 15:15. Late this afternoon, I walked for 33:07 on the Levy Trail, mostly in the shade.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this morning in 31:55.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why can't PBS find a comparable replacement for Charlie Rose, not counting the walking-around-naked part?

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 29:41. I really didn't mean to start at 4:30 a.m., but I woke up and had to say fuck it. Joe silently watched me from the foot of my front bedroom bed and was delighted to see me get up so early. He's been a lot better cat for the last few months.
There is nothing but red west of here on the weather.com radar, so it looks as if my return to golf is off for a while. Maybe I can get Ed to go at noon or so once this stuff goes through
Ed Pennington and I played Burns Park Championship late this morning and early afternoon. Ed scored 84 and I scored 87, with nines of 42 and 45. I had 7 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1triple. I used 29 putts.

Levy Trail/Poplar Street Loop

Several other Geezers and I walked for 2:07:28 on the Levy Trail this morning. Actually, the group started from a parking lot behind Spectators, close to I-30, and walked there from my house to join them. I think I went a bit less than six miles.
Wait a minute. I probably went close to seven miles, or a bit more, somewhere close to a mile and a half more than the group.
Starting at about 6:45 p.m., I walked one lap of the Poplar Street Loop in 18:02 and completed the course in 34:51.

EXCERPTS FROM THE TRASH*
May 28, 2006
LITTLE ROCK — Pickle's confidence epitomized incongruity juxtaposed by swirls of pure panic.
He ran through Section 13 and had no idea.
With him were Gomer, Smutte Queen, In Bred, and In Bred's dog Socrates.
"Where are we?" Gomer said.
"Fuck if I know," Socrates said. "What's that smell? It can't be fried cats, can it?"
"Fried cats?" Queen said.
"I'm just telling you, it smells like a fucking fried cat."

* * *

Section 13 is a maze inconsistent with any topography known to man. It consists of 10,006 miles of trails packed into 35 square feet of real estate. It has baffled scientists for centuries, casting upon its visitors and victims an anomaly of warped time, spectral fissures, and superluminal loopholes that simultaneously lead nowhere and everywhere.
Pickle was certain he and his companions were close to their cars, 15 miles west of downtown Little Rock, until they found themselves overlooking the Yalong River, 15 miles northeast of Chamdo, Tibet.
"Well, I'll be buttfucked," Pickle said.
"That's if you're lucky," Rockamundo said.
"No, really, this isn't so bad," Gomer said. "Tiny Tim and I ended up here on DNR's run two years ago. We had to eat fried cats for a week, but no one buttfucked us."
"Actually, if you want to know the truth, I was kind of disappointed," Tim said.

*from a big, heavy bag full of Trashes that Elaine brought by Pete's house this morning

38th Street Loop/Levy Trail South

It has been at least several years since a fast walk went as easily as this one. I walked the 38th Street Loop late this morning in 29:02, and the time was a pleasing surprise.
I was hypoglycemic enough on my walk of Levy Trail South this evening that two women, one in a car and the other on foot, asked if I needed help. I explained to them I was close to home but thanked them for their concern. I also asked them to keep an eye on me. Unlike with the dog, I did not stop my watch, so I completed the route in 39:14.

Levy Trail 10K

This new Levy Trail 10K standard should stand a bit longer than six days, as the last one did. I walked it this morning in 1:31:20 (3 minutes, 2 seconds faster than last week), with splits of 15:05, 14:58, 14:51, 14:25, 14:54, and 14:19. En route, I was kind of haunted by the fence where the dog tried to hang himself yesterday evening. That's going to endure for a while.
For one thing, I hesitated. I probably spent at least a second or two in place. Maybe longer (I was in a sort of dream-like state. It was truly surreal). Part of my calculus was founded on a fear the dog might bite me. He was big, panicked, and, after all, chained to the ground on the other side of the fence for some reason. As I ran toward him, I did decide that a painful bite might warrant a dash around the house to pound on the front door or try to get into the fenced-in space, but by then, I knew I had no choice but to lift the dog out of immediate danger.
By the way, he was a nice-looking fellow, but filthy. I wore a light-weight white golf shirt, which I noticed was coated across the front in dirt turned to mud by my sweat. When I left, two people from the dog's home helped the policewoman and two policemen, who apparently responded to a call from the first responder, chase down the dog, who got away when the policewoman unhooked his chain. I overheard her attempt to explain to the owners what had happened as I walked toward home. "The dog was hanging by the chain you put on it," she said.

OVERHEARD
"Yes sir. So are you. You make me have to go faster."
—30-year-old slightly overweight man after Pete said, "Man, you're getting after it." He was walking at an impressive pace

Pam's Path/Levy Trail South

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:03:26, with splits of 15:55, 15:54, 16:11, and 15:27.
I was on the Levy Trail late this afternoon, a little over two minutes from my house when I saw a big dog hanging on a heavy chain over a solid seven-foot fence with his hind feet two feet off the ground. He had apparently jumped over the fence from his backyard. I was about seventy-five yards away, and before me was a seventy-pound tan dog spinning in circles in an impossible struggle to climb back over the fence and breathe. Believe it or not, I found I can still run pretty fast. I kind of sprinted across a ditch, a street, and part of the dog's yard and lifted him high enough that he was no longer choking. Even in my arms, the poor thing was so panicked he couldn't relax enough for me to free him from the chain. I needed help and turned to look for traffic on 42nd Street. Two cars drove by without stopping before a policewoman in a North Little Rock SUV saw me wave at her with the dog clinched in my left arm. I have never felt more relieved. She hustled over and unhooked the chain.
I walked Levy Trail South in 31:56 and am a bit embarrassed to report that as I ran to grab the dog, I thought to stop my watch.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:02:44, with splits of 16:15, 15:46, and 30:43 for the final two miles. My legs have been particularly springy the last week or so. I don't think I will ever again call myself a runner, but I might try to run soon.
Now I will begin to warm up to cheer like two motherfuckers for Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka to win the PGA Championship, with a preference for Koepka. I am currently watching Tiger Woods play the final round with a nobody named Tom Hoge (pronounced hoagie, as in a sandwich), who's one of those self-conscious never-smile fucks, e.g. Ricky Fowler.

OVERHEARD
"We are speaking with Keith McGee, the interim superintendent of the North Little Rock school district in Little Rock, Arkansas."
—host of the Sunday, August 9, edition of Morning Edition on National Public Radio. Pete sent an email to the ignorant sons of bitches

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South on Levy's hottest afternoon in weeks in 30:01. The walk was an attempt to warm up for the toughest task in golf, which is to listen to Jim Nantz for six consecutive hours.

OVERHEARD
"I'm sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to get so close."
—apology from a female clerk who accidentally walked within two feet of Pete at the Jacksonville Walmart this morning

Levy Trail Loop/Burns/Park Tournament Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 29:15. Now for a round of golf.
After today's round, I believe it is time to take a few days off. John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, Dan Young, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. Dan scored 76, Ed, 87, I scored 90, and John 95.

Burns Park Loop

Five other Geezers and I walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 2:09:42. Three watches reported that we went somewhere between 5.6 and 5.9 miles.

Levy Trail 10K/Levy Trail South

I walked the Levy Trail 10K this morning in a course-record-shattering 1:34:22, with splits of 15:25, 15:32 (30:57); 15:35 (46:32), 14:56 (1:01:28), 15:18 (1:16:45), and 14:45 (1:31:30).
Significantly burdened by hypoglycemia, I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 34:30.

Maple Street Loop/Burns Park Tournament Course

I walked the Maple Street Loop at dawn today in 31:31 and will, I believe, tee off on Burns Park Championship Course about forty-three minutes from now. I hope to break 80 and not have any scores higher than bogey (which Ed said is an unrealistic objective).
John, Steve Grace, Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course today. Dan scored 79, Steve 85, John 90, I scored 91, and Ed 94. I had nines of 46 and 45 and used 33 putts. I had three doubles and two triples.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North at lunchtime today in 31:48, with splits of 16:30 and 15:18.
Last night, I went to Elizabeth Krupsaw's wedding, from which the pictures are gonna look weirder than two motherfuckers. Afterward, I walked into the reception in a Rivermarket restaurant-bar Jeff and Jill leased, dropped off my gifts, and got the fuck out. It looked like a lot of fun and one of those television shorts we've all seen from what became epicenters of the new coronavirus. You know, where you go, fuck, what were they goddamn thinking?
By the way, Elizabeth has matured into a beauty. She married a funny, nice guy named Mark (I know from the last half-dozen Thanksgivings) who is at work on a Ph.D. in history from Oklahoma State.

Allsopp Park

Five other Geezers and I walked from the base of Allsopp Park into Hillcrest and back this morning. Tom Zaloudek and I finished the beautifully designed loop in 1:06:00. At 9:35 a.m., it is 74°F and dry as Melba Toast in greater Little Rock, including Levy.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail Loop

John, Ed, Dan, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 79, Ed 83, I scored 85, and John 86. I had nines of 40 and 45, with 1 birdie, 6 pars, 7 bogies, and 4 doubles. I used 28 putts, including 12 on the front nine. John scored his life's first eagle when he putted in from the fringe on No. 18.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 31:52.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:36.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

Ed and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 86 and I scored 88, with nines of 44 and 44. I had 2 birdies, 5 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 31 putts.

Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:24 through a steady cool drizzle.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 34:27.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 33:05.

Burns Park Tournament Course/Joe report

I played the front nine of Burns Park Tournament Course this morning in 44, with 3 pars, 3 bogies, and 3 doubles. I used 16 putts.
Whereas Jo ran to my car and waited just outside my door almost every time I drove up, Joe remains on the front porch, but he leaps onto the railing just as I begin to walk up the steps. He leans forward so that our heads pass within a foot or so, which makes it easy for me to scratch the back of his neck or rub my face against his. He is not quite as consistent with this routine as Jo was with hers, but only because he's off somewhere about half the time. If Joe's in the yard, he's gonna sprint to the porch and make the leap, as he did this morning.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:56. It is miserable out for golf. Nevertheless.
Dan Young had two golfing accomplishments no one has had in a game with me. He scored 73, and at one point on the back nine, he had three consecutive birdies. We played Burns Park Championship Course. I scored 84 and Ed 85. I had 1 birdie, 7 pars, 7 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 34 puts.

River Trail

Several other Geezers and I walked for 1:42:03 this morning from the Burns Park Golf Course parking lot. I guess we went a little over five miles.

Burns Park Championship Course

I played the first ten holes of Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Rain chased me from the course. Ed and Dan at least thought they would continue. I scored 42 for the front nine and bogeyed the Par 4 10th hole. I had 2 birdies, 1 par, 5 bogies, 1 double, and 1 triple. I used 18 putts.

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Tournament Course

Ed Pennington, Dan Young, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. Dan scored 84, I scored 87, and Ed 95. I had nines of 39 and 48, with 6 pars, 9 bogies, 1 double, and 2 triples. I used 32 putts.
Before we golfed, I walked Levy Trail South at dusk in 33:36.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop late this morning in 34:57.

LEVY TRAIL GROCERY LIST
Found this morning near 38th Street:
SOUR cream
(big bag) baked potatoes (white)
fly swat
Ceral
milk
Drinks coke 7-up
ice cream
1 millin crunch
1 vanilla ice cream
Chicken pot pies (Marie Calender) with parmessan

Burns Park

Ron, Elaine, Jayme, Kayla, and I walked for about an hour and twenty minutes through Burns Park this morning. I think Elaine said we went something like 4.3 miles.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
What would the African-Americans from the mid-1960s who first asked to be called "black" rather than "colored" have thought if someone had said, "That's cool, but would it be okay if, fifty years from now, we lump all non-white people into a category that we'll call 'people of color?' Not 'colored people' but 'people of color?' "

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, Dan Young, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 80, Ed 84, I scored 86, and John 92. I had nines of 41 and 45, with 8 pars, 7 bogies, 1 double, and 2 triples. I used 31 putts. I played the first six holes in 2-over and last five in 1-over. The double and two triples came from Nos. 8-13.
Before daybreak, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:54.
The air in Levy feels like egg-drop soup.

Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 34:18.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person to say they are surprised by the politicization of masks

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:43, mainly to freshen up a bit for Corky Zaloudek's social-distanced, masked-enforced funeral for sixty. I'm interested to put on my all-time best suit for the third time since Uncle Jim Aikman croaked in 2012. I'm a little skinnier than I was when we buried Richard three and a half years ago. Fortunately, I had it pressed shortly thereafter, and it has been wrapped in plastic since.

QUESTION OF THE DAY*
How much debate was there among Christian leadership before they chose as their principal marketing tool the symbol of a man nailed to two pieces of wood? Did anyone argue it might send people running before they heard the backstory?
*inspired by my first visit to Our Lady of Holy Souls Catholic Church since the fall of 2005 when I attended a youth basketball game there with Ms. Everday Running

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:51.
I really had it going during my round on Burns Park Championship Course, but in schizophrenic fashion, finished triple, par, par, quadruple. Dan Young scored 83. I scored 85, and Ed 87. It looks as if Dan, the retired White Hall school administrator, might become part of our group. I had nines of 39 and 46, with 9 pars, 7 bogies, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 32 putts.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
After reading the following headline bust in the latest edition of Time magazine: 2020 Is Our Last, Best Chance to Save the Planet, which the fuck is it? Our last or our best? It can't be both. If it's our last, that would mean it's our only fucking chance. Not our best. Our only. If it's our best, then we're going to get at least one other, namely our worst. So which the fuck is it, Newsweek, Jr.?

Levy Trail

I walked on mostly shady sections of the Levy Trail between 42nd and 38th Streets late this evening for 35:27. It is also hotter than two motherfuckers in Levy.

Cooks Landing

I walked with the Gimblets and Sturgeons on the River Trial from Cooks landing this morning. Man, we go slow, but we have a lot of fun, I believe. Today, we went something like 2.6 miles in an hour and eight minutes. The first mile took us half a fucking hour.
Corky Zaloudek died yesterday. Tom seems OK, considering.

38th Street Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning, for the first time since Nov. 20, 2019, in 32:09.
In 54 minutes, Ed and I are scheduled to tee off on the Burns Park Championship Course. Don Chaney, Kayce Hall's husband, said he would join us. We ate ribs at Zach's and Lacey's house last night. Social distancing was by-and-large maintained.
Ed scored 84. I scored 87 and Don 93. I had nines of 46 and 41, with 5 pars, 10 bogies, and 3 doubles. I used 35 putts.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime today in 34:24.

OVERHEARD
"It's hotter than a mamba-jamba out here, ain't it?"
—homeless-looking, bald-headed thirty-year-old man on the Levy Trail

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Tournament Course

Ed, John, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. I scored 93, John 95, and Ed 98. I had nines of 44 and 49 and used 39 putts. It was a terrible round for all of us.
Before the golf, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:34.

River Trail/Levy Trail South

Several other Geezers and I walked on the River Trail from Cooks Landing this morning. I was out for 56:18.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in a blazing 31:46.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Was there ever a time in human history when wild horses somewhat commonly kept people from things they wanted to do? Otherwise, why do people say things like, "Wild horses couldn't keep me away from the deals Consumer Cellular offers."? Was this really ever a fucking problem for anyone? "Sorry I'm late, honey." "Oh, don't worry, dear. I'm sure it was those wild horses again."

Levy Trail Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 34:47.
An hour later, John Czarnecki and I play Burns Park Championship Course. I scored 87 and John 91. I had nines of 42 and 45 with 6 pars, 9 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 37 putts.

Levy Trail 10K/Levy Trail South

I walked the Levy Trail 10K late this morning in 1:47:58.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 35:04 .

Burns Park

I walked through Burns Park with Ron and Elaine Gimblet and Jayme and Kayla Sturgeon this morning. We were out for 1:09:22 and covered about 2.7 miles. We stopped for many things, like bugs and plants and the like.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

I played the front nine of the Burns Park Championship Course this morning in 45, with 2 pars, 4 bogies, and 3 doubles. I used 19 putts. My new driver was nothing special, inferior to the fourteen-year-old TaylorMade I have used off and on since 2006.
I walked Levy Trail South at lunchtime in 33:46.

River Trail/Levy Trail Loop

Several other Geezers and I walked the River Trial from Burns Park Golf Course this morning. We were out of 1:17:23. I believe Elaine Gimblet's watch said we went 4.13 miles.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 35:14.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

John, Ed, a retired White Hall public school administrator named Dan, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Dan scored 79, Ed and I 84, and John 91. I had nines of 43 and 41, with 1 birdie, 5 pars, 10 bogies, and 2 doubles.
I walked Levy Trail South in 35:18.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:06:30.

Levy Trail North/Burns Park Tournament Course

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 34:30.
An hour later, I played a somewhat ratty round of Burns Park Tournament Course with John Czarnecki. John scored 92 and I scored 94, with nines of 49 and 45. I did hit nine of nine fairways with relatively long drives from my fourteen-year-old TaylorMade R7 Draw driver. That driving performance came two days after I ordered a new Cobra driver, my first club purchase in two years. I think the TaylorMade is mad at me.

Levy Trail Loop/Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

I watched the Levy Trail lights go off this morning as I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 34:16. The walk was meant as a warmup for golf, but a severe bout of hypoglycemia, at approximately 2:30 a.m., and the subsequent lack of sleep have put at least the quality of my solo round of the Burns Park Tournament Course in jeopardy. We'll see.
There was a shotgun-start tournament set for the Tournament Course, so I played the front nine of the Championship Course in 39, with 1 birdie, 5 pars, 1 bogey, and 2 doubles. I used 15 putts.
Despite the way I played (even-par through No. 5), I felt light-headed and weak all the way around and knew after the first hole that I would only play nine. I can't tell you how much I appreciated the benches between holes.
During a late-afternoon weather delay at the PGA Travelers, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:57.

Fort Roots Loop

I walked the Fort Roots Loop with Ron and Elaine Gimblet and Jayme and Kayla Sturgeon this morning. According to Elaine's watch, we went 5.46 miles in 2:12:23.

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South at daybreak today in 32:25.
An hour later, I started a round of Burns Park Championship Course with John and Ed. I scored 83, Ed 89, and John 101. I had nines of 43 and 40, with a lifetime-best 3 birdies, 4 pars, 7 bogies, and 4 doubles. I used 34 putts, with 21 on the front and 13 on the back. My birdies came on Nos. 10, 15, and 18.
I walked Levy Trail South rhis evening in 33:14.

Maple Street Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

As a warmup to golf, I walked the Maple Street Loop at dusk today in 31:53. I plan to start a solo round of the Burns Park Championship Course at 6:30 a.m., 21 minutes from now.
I scored 86, with nines of 42 and 44. I had 1 birdie, 6 pars, 7 bogies, 3 doubles, 1 triple, and used 34 putts. I played even-par through the last five holes with a birdie and a bogey.

Pam's Path, Jr./Levy Trail South

I walked Pam's Path, Jr., this morning in 1:09:41.
Early this evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:25.

Original Levy Trail

I walked the original Levy Trail this morning in 34:53. Ed and I are scheduled to tee off on the Championship Course at 7:30, fifty-five minutes from now.
I was one-over-par through eight holes. I quadrupled No. 9 to start a 15-over final 10 holes on Burns Park Championship Course. Ed scored 83. I scored 88, with nines of 41 and 47. I had 2 birdies, 3 pars, 10 bogies, 1 double, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple.

Pam's Path, Jr.

I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Pam's Path, Jr., this morning in 1:01:06.
I weighed 188.0 this morning, which, according to this blog, is the first time I have known I was under 190 since January 2018, although I'm pretty sure I was there until the following fall, a month or so after I broke nine hours in the Full Moon (aka Midnight) 50K.

Burns Park Tournament Course/Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K at lunchtime today in 49:10. I went through three miles in 47:45.
This morning, beginning at 6:30, I played Burns Park Tournament Course in 91, with nines of 48 and 43. I used 33 putts.

Burns Park/Levy Trail North

Ron and Elaine Gimblet and Jayme and Kayla Sturgeon and I walked two laps of a loop near the Covered Bridge in Burns Park in 1:18:56. Elaine's watch said we went right at 3.6 miles.
This evening, I walked Levy Trail North in 34:49.

Burns Park Tournament Course

John, Frank, Ed, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. I scored 91, Ed 92, and John and Frank 93. I had nines of 45 and 46 and used 31 putts.
The only reason I walked this evening is that I have a bit of a streak going. I haven't counted the days, but you know, I'm up to a month or so. I finished Levy Trail South in 36:07 and hated nearly every hot step of it.

Pam's Path, Jr./Levy Trail Loop

I walked Pam's Path, Jr. (a four-mile stretch of an aborted Levy 10K attempt), this morning in 1:06:18.
This evening, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 34:34.

Levy Trail 5K/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 48:54 and went through three miles in 47:26.
Ed Pennington and I are scheduled to tee off in 52 minutes. As I have hoped for the last few rounds, I hope to break 80. We'll see.*
I scored 83 and Ed 88 on Burns Park Championship Course. A four-putt triple bogey on No. 15 doomed my sub-80 chance. I had nines of 40 and 43 with 1 birdie, 7 pars, 8 bogies, 1 double, and 1 triple. I used 36 putts.

*I believe I played somewhere in the neighborhood of ten rounds between 90 and c. 93 in the spring of 1998 before I broke 90 for the first time

Pam's Path/Burns Park Tournament Course

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:06:01.
John Czarnecki and I played the Burns Park Tournament Course this afternoon. I scored 85 and John 98. I had nines of 41 and 45, with 8 pars, 6 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 30 putts.

Maple Street Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 32:27.
Ed and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 79 and I scored 81, with nines of 39 and 42. I had 1 birdie, 8 pars, 7 bogies, and 2 doubles, and I used 30 putts.

Burns Park Championship Course/Pam's Path/Levy Trail 5K

I teed off on the front nine of the Burns Park Championship Course at 5:45 a.m. today, my life's PR for the earliest golf start, I believe. The course was drenched from sprinklers. I played from the silver tees, to add about 450 yards to the front nine from the reds, and scored 47, with 1 par, five bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 18 putts.
About an hour after I returned from golf, I walked Pam's Path in 1:07:25.
I walked the Levy Trail 5K this evening in 51:35 and went through three miles in 49:54.

Levy Trail/Levy Trail North

I walked on the Levy Trail this morning for 34:28.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail North in 33:13.

Levy Loop/Burns Park Tournament Course

I alternated one-minute jogs and runs with four-minute walks to complete the Levy Loop at dawn today in 28:21, with splits of 14:44 and 13:38. I walked in ever so damp, so the humidity is up a hair from the last couple of days. The forecast says it will be relatively windless and about 81°F, with a heat index of 82, when Ed and I complete our round on Burns Park Tournament Course with Frank Felone, one of my former bosses from the paper, a funny, likable fellow with whom I have talked golf for twenty-five years. This will be our first round together.
Ed scored 84, I scored 87, and Frank 92. I had nines of 43 and 44, with 5 pars, 9 bogies, and 4 doubles. I used 36 putts. Frank, who looks remarkably similar to Dr. Anthony Fauci, was a lot of fun to golf with, as I expected. I hope he can join us often.

Levy Trail 10K/Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 10K this dry, cool morning in 1:40:15, a PR by one minute and nineteen seconds, with a two-pound dumbbell in each hand. My heart rate was approximately132 beats a minute through the first fifteen seconds after I stopped and put the weights down (that rate, of course, had a margin of error of plus or minus four beats minute). That sort of pulse indicates a significant increase in workload, which with no more than the obvious empirical evidence, I am prone to attribute to the cute little powder blue weights.
Perhaps I'm on to something. My only concern is how this weird addition to my fitness routine will affect my golf swing.
Do heart monitors require a smartphone?
God dog it. This evening, I erased a Levy Trail 5K time for the sake of a pot of steamed carrots and spinach. Beginning at about 5 p.m., I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the loop in 44:20 or so. I went through three miles in about 42:50.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail Loop

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 83, I scored 84, and John 98. I had nines of 43 and 41, with 1 birdie, 8 pars, 5 bogies, 3 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 32 putts. It was almost too windy to play.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 34:21.

Pam's Path/Levy Trail South

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:06 something or another (I forgot to post the time immediately afterward and later erased my stopwatch to fry a chicken thigh).
This evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 32:40. I carried a two-pound dumbbell in each hand, which made my walk feel a bit like cross-country skiing. It was enough to elevate my heart rate from c. 100 to almost 120. I might try this for a while on my shorter walks.

Levy Trail South/Burns Park Tournament Course

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 31:14.
Here's hoping someone joins me for my race against Tropical Storm Cristobal, scheduled to start on the Burns Park Tournament Course at 8:12 a.m. today. It looks as if I have about a coin flip's chance to beat the deluge. We'll see.
The rain began as I walked from the 17th green. I played alone, in two hours, forty minutes, and scored 90, with nines of 47 and 43. I had 6 pars, 8 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 quadruples. I used 29 putts.

Pam's Path/Hash

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:06:45.
This afternoon, I walked with three others on a run of the Little Rock Hash House Harriers that took 1:34:55. We started and finished very near the University-Mississippi intersection in Little Rock, about a block from where Rod Lorenzen's bookstore was.

Levy-Lakewood Loop

I walked eight miles of the ten-mile Levy-Lakewood Loop this morning in 2:16:25.

Levy Trail 5K/Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 48:15, with splits of 15:54, 15:22, and 15:30. I went through three miles in 46:47. Now, I'm off to golf with John and maybe Ed. I hope I don't score 100, as I did a week ago this morning.
We played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. I scored 82, Ed 83, and John 91. I had nines of 42 and 40, with 11 pars, 3 bogies, and 4 doubles. I used 28 putts. At 11-over, it was my life's lowest score relative to par. I scored a 12-over 76 at War Memorial Golf Course on Aug. 25, 2017.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 33:44.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:04:44.

Levy Trail 5K/Burns Park Tournament Course/Levy Trail Loop

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 48:40. Mugginess has returned to Levy after a ten-day hiatus. Ed and I are scheduled to tee off through it forty-eight minutes from now.
Ed and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning in 86 and 84, respectively. I had nines of 43 and 41, to once again tie my personal course record, with 8 pars, 7 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple. I used 35 putts.
Early this evening, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 32:54.

Lakewood Lake No. 3/Levy Trail South

Elaine Gimblet, a woman named JoAnne, and I walked around Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning for 1:22:55.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:52.

Levy Trail Loop/Burns Park Tournament Course/Joe Report

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 33:01.
About an hour after my walk, John, Ed, and I teed off on Burns Park Tournament Course. Ed scored 85, John 89, and I scored 90, with nines of 45 and 45. I used 33 putts.
As we walked off the No. 8 green, I told John and Ed about the golfer I met on the Levy Trail this morning. After our tee shots on No. 9, we met two men playing the first hole. Literally two and a half minutes after I mentioned him, one of the two was Ty, the man I'd met earlier.
I engaged with John and Ed in a Joe scenario today based on Joe's displeasure when I picked him up from my sideyard golf net and carried him back to the house not long before our round. Obviously, Joe—like Jo before him—gets a big kick out of generally getting in my way and knocking balls off tees and all over the backyard. As I turned into the front yard, he snagged the front of my synthetic golf shirt, marring it for keeps.
In the scenario, he organized a cat riot shortly after I left. By the time I returned from Burns Park, Levy was in flames. Joe had looted hundreds of can of Iams Tunatopia from Kroger and already begun to market Cat Lives Matter t-shirts on the internet.
"You're part of the problem and shit," Joe said shortly after I arrived home.

OVERHEARD
"I'm walking now, but we're golfing at ten o'clock."
—overweight man on the Levy Trail this morning. He asked if I planned to play, to which I responded: "We have an 8:36 tee-time. So trust me, there oughta be a lot of lost balls out there for you."

Levy Trail/Levy Trail South

I walked for 43:09 on the Levy Trail late this morning.
This afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 35:23.

Levy-Lakewood Loop/Levy Trail Loop

I Google Earthed the ten-mile Levy-Lakewood Loop this morning and walked it in 2:55:35. I completed the first mile, up into Park Hill, in 17:36, and the final, downwind and slightly downhill on the Levy Trail, in 15:55. This trail is gorgeous and shadier than two motherfuckers.
Early this evening, I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete the Levy Trail Loop in 27:32.

OVERHEARD
"When in doubt, expect the best."
—man pushing a book on National Public Radio this morning

"Black people built this country, and black people can burn this bitch down."
—young woman in, I believe, Atlanta, on NPR

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 34:44.
This morning, John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course. Ed scored 81, John scored 91, and scored 100, with nines of 51 and 49. I used 35 putts.

Levy Trail South/Levy Trail South

I jogged for a total of one minute and otherwise walked Levy Trail South this morning in 30:40. My right knew hurt just a little bit, but overall, my legs felt lively and roaring to go.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 32:43.

Levy Trail 10K/Levy Trail South

I walked the Levy Trail 10K this morning in 1:45:41, with splits of 16:54, 17:10, 16:49, 16:06, and the next two miles in 35:30.
As I walked, it occurred to me that National Public Radio is quickly going the way of Fox News. I was embarrassed by the extent to which its spokesmen saluted Twitter's can-of-worms decision to counterbalance commentary it deems untruthful with evidence to the contrary. As a result, all the liberals cheer and all the conservatives fold their arms, scowl, and grumble that big brother is on his way (which, of course, he is, but this ain't him. This is just another example of how unfettered free enterprise comes with a cost and does not care whose butt it bites).*
I walked Levy Trail South early this evening in 34:50.

*Pam's Boy's assessment that NPR is headed toward a biased slant comparable to that of Fox News should be taken with a pinch of salt in that it was based on a sample size limited to the two clowns who blew horns and tossed confetti as they reported Twitters' response to President Trump's tweet about the fraud potential of absentee ballots and two journalists who criticized the president for an hour earlier this week with no contrary voice other than a few whispers offered by the program's host. Pam's Boy remains an NPR fan but will cease to be if NPR becomes a voice in favor of and/or in opposition to any specific political ideology, e.g. Fox News, and consequently a participant in an attempt to brainwash us

Pam's Path/River Trail

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:09:41.
Late this afternoon, after I putted on a Burns Park practice green for half an hour or so, I walked for 36:11 on the River Trail.

Burns Park Tournament Course/Levy Trail Loop

John and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. I scored 84 and John 96. I had nines of 44 and 40, with 6 pars, 10 bogies, and 2 doubles. I used 34 putts. My streak of 29 consecutive holes without a three-putt came to an end with a three-putt on No. 1.
The 84 tied my personal course record set on Sept. 29, 2008, as reported here on that date. The old score was from the white, or member tees. Today's was from the yellow, or senior tees. Oh, and by the way, I was mistaken all those years ago when I talked about how I looked forward to turning 65 so that I could play the yellows. According to the USGA, amateur golfers become seniors at 55, so I was way off. Perhaps Chris Vratil will find that as encouraging as I did.
Late this afternoon, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 35:44.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next motherfucker who criticizes a U.S. president for golfing. Again, we should encourage our presidents to golf, particularly our current Jackass-in-Chief, you gut-stabbed fools

Burns Park Championship Course/Pam's Path/Hash

Starting at 6:33 this morning, I played the back nine of Burns Park Championship Course in 43, with 5 pars, 2 bogies, 1 double, and 1 triple. I used 15 putts. It was 6:33 a.m. as I walked from the first tee box.
My streak of three-putt free greens is at 29. My PR is 47.
I walked Pam's Path at lunchtime in 1:07:21.
Tiny Tim Biggs called me at about 1:30 p.m. Thirty minutes later, I walked with him and Bob McKinney for 1:47.16. According to Bob's watch, we went 4.1 miles.
My legs are deader than Eddie Sutton.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
What kind of reaction would Vice President Biden get if he told this joke in public?: Two Texas A&M zoologists had spent months in an attempt to get the world's largest female gorilla pregnant. They flew in gorillas from all over the world but met failure each time.
One day, as the professors walked across campus, they ran into A&M's 6-6, 298-pound All-American defensive end Torrey Carmichael. A figurative lightbulb went on for both of them, and within the next half-hour, they had coaxed Carmichael into their laboratory and introduced him to the gorilla. They then told him of their trouble.
"We know how crazy this will sound, Torrey, but here's the deal; for a thousand dollars in cash, is there any way we can get you to have sex with this gorilla?"
Carmichael did not hestitate.
"Fellas, I'd love to help y'all out and shit. I mean, really, but hell, they ain't no way I could come up with a thousand dollars. I just ain't got it."

Levy Trail 10K

I walked the Levy Trail 10K late this morning in 1:41:34. I jogged for a total of five minutes.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 83, I scored 85, and John 95. I had nines of 40 and 45, with 1 birdie, 7 pars, 5 bogies, and 5 doubles. I used 27 putts. Since I started keeping count, back in about 1995, this was the third time I have used fewer than thirty putts in a round.
Late this afternoon, I walked Levy Trail South in 34:34.

Pam's Path/Burns Park Tournament Course

I walked Pam's Path at lunchtime today in 1:02:54.
This afternoon, I played Burns Park Tournament Course in 92, with nines of 48 and 44. I used 35 putts. I played the round two hours, forty-seven minutes. There were several other people on the course, but no one was ever closer to me than three or four holes.

Lakewood Lake No. 3/Levy Trail South

I walked for 1:19:28 with Elaine, Lindy, Pat, and Roseanne around Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning.
Early this evening, I walked Levy Trail South in 33:23.

Burns Park Championship Course/Levy Trail South

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning in perfect weather. It was dry, cool, windless, and overcast. Ed scored 80. I scored 85, with nines of 42 and 43, and John 91. I had 8 pars, 7 bogies, 2 doubles, 1 triple, and used 38 putts.
Early this evening, I walked Levy Trail South 38:04. The last mile, walked through a bout of hypoglycemia, took about twenty-two minutes.

Lakewood Lake No. 3

Elaine Gimblet, a delightful woman named Lindy, and I walked and jogged four laps around Lakewood Lake No. 3 this morning for 1:10:08. We covered 4.5 miles. I'm going to guess we jogged for about eight minutes.

Levy Trail 10K/Oaklawn

I walked the Levy Trail 10K this morning in 1:49:15. The Levy Trail 10K covers the entire paved section of the Levy Trail, a clockwise loop from the Orange Street-43rd Street intersection to 47th Street and back to Orange by way of Maple and 43rd Streets, and an out-and-back from my driveway to a fire hydrant about halfway up Orange. At today's pace, it took me right at 45:30 to walk the entire length of the paved Levy Trail from north to south, which is slightly downhill.
While cleaning my front bedroom early this week, I found the Oaklawn voucher I had misplaced the night after the season ended. It was worth $73.60 and represented my $33.60 profit for 2020.

SENTENCE OF THE DAY
Lucky is the man who does not secretly believe that every possibility is open to him.
—Walker Percy, The Last Gentleman, Page 4

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path this morning in 1:08:50. It is muggier than two motherfuckers in Levy.

Levy Trail Loop/Burns Park Championship Course

I played the front nine of the Burns Park Championship Course this evening in 43, with 2 pars, 6 bogies, and 1 double. I used 20 putts.
This morning, I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 34:19.

Burns Park Tournament Course

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. Ed scored 88, I scored 92, and John 99. I had nines of 47 and 45 and used 34 putts.

Burns Park Tournament Course

Late this afternoon, I played the back nine of Burns Park Tournament Course using no clubs longer than a pitching wedge. Furthermore, I took a total of two full swings (to clear water) and otherwise hit only pitch and chip shots. I scored 58, a total that included 19 putts.

Burns Park Tournament Course/Lakewood Lake No. 3

John and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. I scored 92 and John 98. I had nines of 47 and 45 and used 33 putts.
By the way, last Friday I walked with Elaine and Ron for a little over 53 minutes around Lakewood Lake No. 3.

Burns Park Championship Course

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 82, I scored 87, and John 89. For the second time in my days golfing, I had two birdies in one round. I used 34 putts.

Burns Park Championship Course

Ed, John, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning. Ed scored 84, I scored 91, and John 94. I had a birdie and used 34 putts.

I came up with a Republican-themed motivational technique in which I pretended as if the golf ball was a Mexican who had illegally migrated to North Little Rock and whom I intended to knock back across the Rio Grande River. I would say something like, "Hold onto your hat, Jose, because I'm gonna knock your brown butt back to Mexico."

To tell the truth, it didn't work. There was too much laughter in the background.

Oaklawn/Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning through a high wind in 34:24.
Yesterday, I twice walked from my car to the Oaklawn press box and also took a couple of laps of the third and fourth floors of the grandstand for a total of about forty minutes.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person to say "new normal" in any fucking context other than as the subject of a sentence about how worn out those two words when used together and in that order

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked from my car to Oaklawn's racing facility and then within the building for a total of 39:58 early Friday afternoon.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop last night in 33:44.
A couple of days ago, not long after I heard my 55-year-old first cousin Crutch Aikman died, I posted my first sympathy-seeking Facebook post. Surprisingly, I feel much better now, even though I was closer to Crutch than anyone I have known.
I will write approximately eight Oaklawn stories over the next three days, including a followup on Sunday. A round of golf Monday followed by an obligation-free summer kind of appeals to me this morning.

Burns Park Championship Course

John Czarnecki, Ed Pennington, and I played Burns Park Championship Course this afternoon. Ed scored 87. I scored 90 and John 95.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South tonight in 34:28.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who calls meat "a protein," as a woman I heard on National Public Radio did yesterday morning while talking about her diet: "At each and every meal, we have a protein and at least two servings of vegetables and fruits," she said. In fact, I'm going retroactive on this one. Anyone in the last ten years who has, as this woman later admitted, called chicken, beef, fish, or any sort of meat a protein will be stabbed. This must be stopped

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked from my car on Oaklawn's parking lot north and south on Central Avenue and then up to the press box for 39:55 at lunchtime today. On the outside chance any of my readers have wondered, I didn't do anything the last four days out of laziness and deference to a boatload of Oaklawn work for the paper.
Speaking of which, while driving home tonight, it occurred to me I had used the word calamity in one of the two race stories I wrote this evening. Wait a minute, I asked myself, are you sure you know what calamity means? You know, specifically? Fuck.
Here's what I wrote: Oaklawn has not allowed anyone other than horsemen, essential track personnel, and media on its racing grounds since March 13 in an effort to stem the spread of the new coronavirus pandemic, the same calamity that has kept Amoss at home since his roundtrip to and from Oaklawn to watch his filly Serengeti Empress win the Grade II 1-mile-and-1/16th Azeri Stakes on March 14.

It was with a nice sense of relief that I read this definition:
ca·lam·i·ty

/kəˈlamədē/

noun

• 1.an event causing great and often sudden damage or distress; a disaster:"the journey had led to calamity and ruin"

Sure, that's what I thought it meant, but I ran with it without knowing. Seated in my car in circa southwest Little Rock, I thought, "Oh shit. I don't know"

Burns Park Tournament Course

John, Ed, and I played Burns Park Tournament Course this morning. Ed scored 93. I cored 97 and John 101. I had nines of 51 and 46 and 1 birdie (with a downhill 50-foot putt on No. 14, the green on the back-nine someone could easily approach from Arlene Drive if they saw people on it they wanted to talk with).

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked two roundtrips between my car and the pressbox (because I forgot a bag full of Diabetes Mellitus crap) and then around the Oaklawn facility just a bit at lunchtime today in 37:44.

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Why haven't any of Pete's business school friends told him of the nearly perfect inverse correlation between the price of crude oil and the number of dead people in U.S. nursing homes?*
*he wondered this yesterday after he bought gas for $1.15 a gallon

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—I walked all over Oaklawn's facilities for 36:05 this afternoon to interrupt the writing of advance stories for tomorrow's Apple Blossom and Count Fleet Sprint Handicaps, a race story about today's Rainbow and Rainbow Miss Stakes, and a feature on a very friendly, talented jockey named Joe Talamo. The doors to the Oaklawn Jockey Club were locked.
It feels like Saturday.
I wonder. Would any of Pete's leads today make any non-sports fan consider reading on?

PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS — People responsible for the Grade I $600,000 1-mile-and-1/16th Apple Blossom Handicap, Oaklawn’s top feature for its fan-free Racing Festival of the South, share common thoughts that have little to do with fillies and mares, four-years-old and up.

HOT SPRINGS — Whitmore, owned in part by Robert LaPenta and Ron Moquett, will run today with a chance to once again expand his legacy at Oaklawn.

HOT SPRINGS — He hadn’t yet nailed down the specifics, but Joe Talamo knew by the age of eight what he wanted from life.

HOT SPRINGS — It always seems appropriate when owners and trainers from Arkansas are connected to an Oaklawn race-day feature.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 34:55.
I am at the point that I can't wait for the Oaklawn season to end, even though it will likely mean I will not work until football season begins, if indeed it does. Actually, as hard as I have worked at the track, I look forward to a four-month break. Today I worked on six stories from 8 a.m. to 8:26 p.m. Three will run tomorrow, the others on Saturday.
The season ends two weeks from Saturday. John and Ed, the motherfuckers, golfed today.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South late this afternoon in 33:16.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who says, "Our lives will never be the same."

Levy Loop

I walked the good old Levy Loop this morning in 32:57. It's suddenly cold here in Levy.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 33:25.

Oaklawn

HOT SPRINGS—A young man and woman stood closely together at the far northern edge of the large and vastly exclusive Oaklawn Jockey Club. I saw them from behind, at least 200 feet away, as they looked through the racetrack's airport-like windows over the owner's cabin and the dark gray chill of this afternoon. We were the only three in the pristine fifty-thousand-square-foot room, which was immaculately dressed as if hundreds of wealthy diners were expected. The couple's presence there ranks among my lifetime's oddest memories. I nearly added another minute to my 37:12 walk to ask who they were and what they thought of this odd, unlighted room, darkened for this fan-free race day and the new coronavirus pandemic, but I was afraid I would frighten them and get tossed from the grounds before I could write one thousand four hundred and thirty-six words about two stakes races in two and a half hours.
Oh well. At least I made it into the Jockey Club for the first time since 2002 and perhaps as the first person ever, with races underway, to have walked through the doors dressed in faded blue jeans and a Henderson State University baseball T-shirt.

PETE PERKINS

HOT SPRINGS — Mr. Big News lived up to his name.

Off at 46-1, Allied Racing Stable’s Mr. Big News followed far behind a rapid pace over a sloppy track to outrun 12 other entrants and win the $200,000 1-mile-and-1/8th Oaklawn Stakes for three-year-old horses in 1:49.89 before zero fans at Oaklawn on Saturday.

Ridden by Gabriel Saez and trained by Bret Calhoun, Mr. Big News, by Giant’s Causeway, had finished fifth of 11 in one of two divisions of the Grade II 1-mile-and-1/16th Risen Star Stakes at Fair Grounds in New Orleans on Feb. 15 in his last start.

Calhoun said a careful examination of Mr. Big News’ past performances gave him confidence.

“He performed like we thought he would,” Calhoun said. “I know he was a big long shot, but we had quite a bit of confidence in him over the last couple of months.”

Martin Garcia rode Eclipse Thoroughbred Partner’s Farmington Road to second, two lengths behind Mr. Big News and 3 1/4 lengths in front of third-place Taishan. Basin finished fourth, 5 1/4 lengths behind the winner.

As one of Oaklawn’s measures to stem the spread of the new coronavirus pandemic, the track has excluded fans from attendance since March 13. Only people essential to racing, medical care and security, and media personnel are currently allowed on the racetrack’s grounds.

Mike McCarty’s Gold Street, under Tyler Baze, broke fourth from the gate but led the field through an opening quarter-mile in 22.07. Mr. Big News was in 11th, 14 1/2 lengths back.

“He didn’t break as sharp as I wanted, so I just let him be, let him into his own rhythm,” Saez said. “When he hit the backstretch, he started moving, and I said, ‘OK, buddy. Go on with it.’ ’’

Thousand Words, the 5-2 favorite ridden by Joe Talamo from the barn of Hall of Fame trainer Bob Baffert, stumbled from the gate and was eight lengths back through the first quarter. He would never contend and finished 11th, 29 3/4 lengths back.

Gold Street’s lead was 1 1/2 lengths through a half-mile run in 45.47. Farmington Road was last, 11 1/2 lengths behind.  Mr. Big News was 10th, nine lengths off the lead. Basin was fourth and Taishan fifth

Gold Street and Basin are trained by Steve Asmussen, a member of the National Museum of Racing and Hall of Fame.

Gold Street had won wire-to-wire in Oaklawn’s opening-day $150,000 1-mile Smarty Jones Stakes on Jan. 24. He raced with a similar style in the Oaklawn Stakes to lead by half a length through three-quarter miles in 1:10.67, but he gave way to Taishan, under Joel Rosario, before the home stretch and would finish eighth.

Taishan led as he turned for home, but Mr. Big News and Farmington Road, who started at 6-1, began to unwind.

Mr. Big News took the lead with an eighth of a mile left, and Farmington Road took over second at the 1/16th pole.

“When we got to the top of the stretch, I swung him out into the clear, and he found a different gear,” Saez said. “He got the job done.”

“I found a way to go and followed the winner around, and he just took off,” Garcia said. “It looks like my horse is going to be a good horse.”

Todd Pletcher, another Hall of Fame member, trains Farmington Road.

Calhoun said he understood why gamblers did not share his confidence in the winner.

“You had to really dig down and watch the replays hard to be able to see and know what we thought we knew going into this race,” Calhoun said. “I can definitely see why he was that price, and it didn’t bother me at all. There were a lot of other options in there with the big field of talented horses.”

Each of the top three finishers are assured a spot in Oaklawn’s 14-stall starting gate for the Grade I 1-mile-and-1/8th Arkansas Derby scheduled for May 2.

Whereas the Oaklawn Stakes did not offer Kentucky Derby qualifying points, the Arkansas Derby will distribute a total of 170, with 100, 40, 20, and 10 to first through fourth, respectively. The winning and second-place points alone would have qualified a horse for a spot in any of the Kentucky Derbies’ 20-stall gates since the points system was established for the 2013 season and beyond.

In response to Churchill Down’s decision to move this season’s Grade I 1-mile-and-1/4th Kentucky Derby from May 2 to Sept. 5, Oaklawn rescheduled the Arkansas Derby from April 11 to May 2, and the Oaklawn Stakes was moved from May 2.

Calhoun said he would wait to decide when Mr. Big News next races.

“They’ve moved the [Kentucky] Derby so late, we have to look around and figure out the lay of the land, figure out where some of the points races are,” Calhoun said. “Obviously, with the Derby so far way now, we can space his races a little bit better, but if we can’t find some better options, we sure may come back [for the Arkansas Derby].”