Oaklawn Sports-Joe's Silver Bullet Bet of a LIfetime

 When I first signed up for Oaklawn Sports, my first-lifetime chance to make legal bets on football (and baseball and all the rest), I worried about my general proclivity to addiction. After two months of turning $20 into $7.84 with a run of steady betting, I believe I might have a chance of not handing a racetrack in Hot Springs my massive fortune. You know, maybe. ...Joe's Silver Bullet Bet of a Lifetime for today is to bet $2 and to take the Buffalo Bills to give up 10.5 or more points to the Green Bay Packers on Sunday Night Football. Kickoff is scheduled for 5:20 p.m. Pacific on NBC: The Packers suck dicks. All week, I have read pantless experts write Green Bay will make the playoffs. It will not. The Packers will spend the rest of the season, including tonight, sucking men's dicks. That, in itself, is fine. I love them however they choose to behave. They could force hundreds of Koreans to stampede each other to death or crack the Speaker of our House of Representatives husband's skull with a hammer, and I would love them (not because of those acts, but rather for a lifetime of Sunday afternoon entertainment). Still, the Buffalo Bills will score however many points they want against my favorite goddamn motherfucking sons of shit-eating whore bitches who have decided not to play football this season. They will get started tonight at 5:20 Pacific, 7:20 Central. ...I fell asleep long before the Packers' 27-17 loss to Buffalo was complete and guess I should be happy I lost two motherfucking dollars. However, I am not.

Robinson

RUSSELLVILLE — I walked for 36:22 at Robinson High School way out on Arkansas 10 on Friday night. By the way, my latest great infatuation is for a Robinson athletic trainer. In truth, I went kind of nuts for her five or six or perhaps seven years ago, but last night, she drove a four-wheeler to the edge of the field as I walked from George Stadium and said, "It was nice to see you again, Pete. I hope you'll be back this season." I guess she reads the paper. There is no way she and I will ever date, but I live for brushes like this one. ...It rained far too hard all day today to walk any more than around Thone Stadium for the Arkansas Tech game. Here's the story I wrote:

PETE PERKINS

RUSSELLVILLE — The meaningfulness of this game-winning field goal was clear the moment it banked in.

A rain-soaked Thone Stadium crowd of 1,104 and a sideline manned by approximately 100, including players, coaches, staff, and cheerleaders wrapped in emergency ponchos erupted with delight when senior kicker Jesus Zizumbo’s 44-yard field-goal attempt at the fourth-quarter buzzer bounced off the right upright and over the crossbar to give Arkansas Tech a 22-21 Great American Conference victory over the Southwestern Oklahoma Bulldogs on Saturday.

The field goal was the 40th of Zizumbo’s career and a Tech record.

“I’m just happy we won the game,” Zizumbo said. “We needed this win. I don’t really like looking at records. All I want is for my kicks to fall in. If they do that, I’ve done my job.”

Late in the game, it seemed unlikely Zizumbo would get a chance.

Tech (4-5, 4-5 GAC) was out of timeouts when its defense stopped Southwestern freshman running Gerald Palmer for a 1-yard loss on 4th-and-1 at the Tech 39 with 1:16 left in the game.

Tech was 60 yards from the end zone. After a first down on an 8-yard run by senior back Devontae Dean, Tech faced 3rd-and-9 from its 46, when senior quarterback Jack Grissom completed a 16-yard pass to sophomore receiver Mason Ross.

“He doesn’t drop passes,” Grissom said. “He’s very reliable.”

Ross made it sound simple.

“I watch the ball all the way in,” he said. “We emphasize that every day in practice, so I think it’s very important.”

After a 3-yard run by Dean and a spike left time for one more play, onto Buerkle Field marched Tech’s field-goal unit, including junior deep snapper Garrett Scott and holder Aaron Winn.

Winn said he could feel the anxiety.

“We practice that mayday situation every week, just in case something like this happens,” Winn said. “It was routine, but at the time when it’s an actual game, you have some pressure on you.”

Winn said he watched through a jumble of linemen as the kick headed right and struck the upright. He said he figured it had missed. Zizumbo, 5-9, 225, was knocked on top of him, and Winn hoped to see a flag on the field for roughing the kicker.

Zizumbo said he never watches his kicks. He instead listens for the crowd’s response to present results.

“He looked at that one, I can tell you that,” Winn said.

This kick bore watching. As it rose above the 22 special-teamers in play, it became obvious it was pushed. The football traveled straight and right from Zizumbo's foot until it hit the upright on a direct line. Luck then came into play, as sudden and violent deceleration leads to unpredictable outcomes. In this case, the ball rotated left and maintained adequate momentum to flutter over the crossbar before it fell onto Tech's artificial turf.

An insightful diagnosis of this game-winner was unnecessary for Tech Coach Kyle Shipp.

“The snap and hold looked good to me,” Shipp said. “As long as the kick went in, it doesn’t really matter. I’ll watch it on film tomorrow to see if it was perfect or not, but I’ll take it any way we can get it.”

Southwestern (3-6, 3-6) had turned a 14-10 halftime lead into 21-10 on Palmer’s 1-yard touchdown run with 12:09 left in the third quarter, but Grissom’s 39-yard touchdown run on Tech’s next series cut it to 21-16. Zizumbo, who had earlier missed a 20-yard field goal attempt, missed the extra point.

“When you miss, you have to forget about it,” Zizumbo said. “Life goes on after a kick.”

“I don’t think I’ll say anything to him about those misses,” Shipp said.

Zizumbo’s 23-yard field goal midway through the third tied the Tech career field-goal record of 39 set by Pitor Stychen from 1993-96.

The record-breaker took care of everything else for Tech.

“We practice that all the time,” Grissom said. “We were ready for it.”

Levy Trail

Several other Geezers and I walked the Levy Trail this morning. I was out for a little over an hour and thirty-five minutes. 

Levy

 I walked around Levy this morning for 34:20. Afterward, I sat with Joe on the planter under my den window when the big black dog came jogging up. Heretofore, the dog, a girl, has only approached at a fucking dead sprint. Joe did the ol' arched-back routine with a bit of a hiss as a warning, but he seemed no more than slightly apprehensive. They sat and looked at each other until I drove away to buy a bag full of booze as an elopement gift. This dog has only appeared in the mornings, making me hopeful she has a keeper somewhere nearby. I have begun to admire her.

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop in 32:20. ...Nearly unbelievably, the Levy Trail kittens made their first showing in a little over three weeks. They have grown quite a bit and have apparently moved into a house just east of the tree near which they roamed. ...The big black dog ran across the street to see me as I came in from a haircut. He really wanted in my house but sat when I asked him and stayed put until I closed the door behind me. He has a mean-looking brown face.

Levy Trail North

 I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 32:54. ...There was a huge, mean-looking dog who charged at me after yesterday's walk and before today's. Once he arrived, he acted shy both times, as if he weren't sure if he wanted me to pet him. Someone has put a pink collar on this black behemoth. Joe and I are confused.

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 31:26. I had to go coat and gloves.

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 31:46. This was my first walk in gloves since a while back.

OVERHEARD "Tell 'im to eat some Jello Pudding, motherfucker." — fellow who made reference to an early-1980s Eddie Murphy parody of Bill Cosby as that fellow walked from Kroger. No one other than the fellow and Rockamundo seemed to think the comment was funny

Levy Trail South

SEARCY—I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 31:47 and am now at Harding's First Security Stadium for the first time since 2008. Harding will play Henderson State. Kickoff is scheduled for about eight minutes from now. ...Henderson won the game, somewhat of an upset, 15-14. It was an easy, pleasant story to write. Henderson's coach, Scott Maxfield, is an enjoyable man, similar to but far less Trumpian than the fellow one of my readers met in faraway Monticello, Arkansas, many years ago.

Levy Trail Loop

 I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 33:23.

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 33:50.

Hash

I walked for nearly fifty minutes from Zach's and Lacey's house with the Hash this afternoon.

Burns Park Championship Course

Ed and I played Burns Park Championship Course this morning and early afternoon. I scored 94. 

Levy Trail South

 I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 30:42.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this morning in 32:16. With about a mile and a half left, I saw a man watching television on a smartphone as he walked. He had a plastic thing wrapped around his neck that held the phone at about chin level, tilted slightly up. Heck, I might buy that sort of getup. There's no way to know what the Levy Trail kittens would have thought of it since they have gone missing. 

Henderson State

 ARKADELPHIA—I think it is odd that I walked for 36:22 around the Henderson State campus and athletic complex this afternoon with a forlorn hope that I would somehow see the short-haired blonde whose appearance I immediately fell for in about January 2006.