Hindman Park Golf Course

I played Hindman Park Golf Course as poorly this morning as I played it well two days ago. John Czarnecki and I quit after nine holes. I scored 59 and John 62. We then ate at a Salvadorian restaurant way out in southwest Little Rock. It was hard for me to interpret the menu. As a consequence, I was served spicy coleslaw and a fried chicken drumstick stuffed together in a hoagie roll. That was it. That's all I got. I'm still not sure how I was supposed to eat it but treated it as if it were a coleslaw sandwich with a fried drumstick on the side. It was tasty but a ripoff, even at a mere $6.50.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person attempting to drive between the parking lot and the main entrance to a grocery store who expresses exasperation at people who walk in front of their vehicle. What kind of able-bodied idiot doesn't understand the problem with trying to drive right past the front door of a crowded supermarket?

Orange Street Loop

I alternated one-minute jogs with four-minute walks to complete the Orange Street Loop tonight in 42:03.

Hindman Park Golf Course

John Czarnecki and I played Hindman Park Golf Course this afternoon. I scored 97, with nines of 46 and 51. I used 32 putts. I birdied Nos. 4 and 17, which might have made this my first round with more than one birdie. John scored 120, or 29 strokes better than the last time we played Hindman.

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this afternoon in 33:48.

War Memorial Golf Course

John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course this afternoon.  I scored 93 and John 104. I had nines of 44 and 49 and used 35 putts. I scored 10 on No. 18.

Hash

I walked and jogged for 1:42:40 with the Little Rock Hash House Harriers late this afternoon. We started and finished near Sylvan Hills High in Sherwood.
We had another goddamned theme run today. This one had something to do with Hawaiian luaus. Women have fucking taken over our Hash. It seems as if at least once a month they want us to show up wearing costumes. We recently had an Alice in Wonderland theme. No shit, they wanted us to wear fucking Alice in Wonderland outfits. To a Hash run.

War Memorial Golf Course/Levy Loop

I played thirteen holes at War Memorial Golf Course with John Czarnecki on Thursday. I scored 44 for the front nine and was six-over for the first four holes of the back before it started raining harder than two motherfuckers.
This afternoon I walked the Levy Loop in 34:53.

Sarasota, Florida

SARASOTA, Fla.—I walked for 1:10:23 out and back on Magellan Drive and 67 Drive from the Waugh's house. One of the funnier things I have recently seen happened this morning at about 7:45. Marion and I were in the living room/den drinking coffee when his and Kim's 23-year-old son gets out of bed, walks through to the kitchen, comes back and sits down holding a bottle of Bud Light he had just opened.

Sarasota, Fla.

SARASOTA, Fl.—I walked out and back from Steve Edward's family home on Magellan Drive this morning for 57:54. Ed is my former sports-talk co-host from the late 1980s. Some of my readers might remember the cool black Cincinnati Reds T-shirt he sent me back in the mid-2000s. His real name is Marion Waugh. He lives here with his wife Kim and sons Grady and Gibby. He and I will spend the next two evenings watching the Reds play the Tampa Bay Rays. We might also golf and fish. I will be home by mid-morning Wednesday.

Levy Trail North

I walked Levy Trail North this morning in 33:54.

Levy Trail 5K

I walked the Levy Trail 5K this morning in 49:10 and went through three miles in 47:28.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...Curtis Strange, who just said, "... a very good striker of the golf ball." Apparently he failed to either read or remember the Pam's Boy I PLAN TO STAB from April 12, 2012. A person who is not a very good striker of the golf ball would not be allowed to play in so much as a U.S. Open qualifier, which requires a handicap of no higher than 1.4, Curt. Fuck, man, anyone who can break eighty is a very good ball-striker

Levy Loop

I walked the good ol' Levy Loop this morning in 32:46.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...whoever wrote the following headline for an ESPN story about the Golden State Warriors' NBA championship victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers: To reach their potential, Warriors had to own their identity

Levy Trail South/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked Levy Trail South through mist this morning in 33:36.
John Czarnecki beat me at golf today for the first time. It's hard to explain, but I was truly happy for him. I played the first four holes at War Memorial Park in 15-over par. John parred No. 5 and I bogeyed. I mentioned to him afterward that he was 11 strokes ahead of me but that, by god, I was coming after him. He finished with a 93 and I with a 95. We really had fun.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next person who asks anyone to write or produce a story about dry drowning

Camp Robinson and back/Hash

I walked to Camp Robinson and back on the Levy Trail late this morning in 1:29:33. I completed the 2.7 uphill miles out in 47:17 and came back in 42:16. I walked the first mile in 17:24 and the final in 14:53.
I counted 53 people at Hash today. I was out for 1:26:34 all the fuck over the heart of west Little Rock, mostly with the Gimblets and B.J. Elaine's watch said we went about 4.5 miles.

Levy Trail South/Levy Trail 5K

I alternated three-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete Levy Trail South at lunchtime in 27:50.
This evening I walked the Levy Trail 5K in 49:42 and went through three miles in 47:58.

BUY A BIG TV OR A BIG BOTTLE OF HIGH-BROW FORTIFIED WINE BELMONT STAKES WINNER OF THE WEEK OR POSSIBLY OF WEEKS STACKED FROM LEVY TO THE CRAB NEBULA AND FUCKING BACK
Bet $20 to win on Meantime (No. 9), currently listed at 14-1. At that, you'd get a return of $300. Also, in order to have your next Hash run catered by the nearest Waffle House no matter how the fuck far away it is, bet this $2 superfecta: 1. Meantime; 2. Lookin at Lee (No. 6); 3. Twisted Tom (No. 1); and Tapwrit (No. 2)

RESULT Tapwrit won. Meantime gave it a good go but surrendered in the final quarter. He looked a bit like a winner for a while. Lookin at Lee is now pet food and Twisted Tom a lamp shade and pet food

Levy Trail South

I walked Levy Trail South this evening in 33:11.

I PLAN TO STAB...
...the next set of parents whose last name is Winner to name their child Reality

Orange Street Loop

This is the best my legs have felt in a long, long time, which is hard for me to understand after yesterday's work. I alternated four-minute walks with one-minute jogs to complete the Orange Street Loop this morning in 41:17, with splits of 14:21, 14:03, and 12:53. It was somewhat easy.

Two Rivers Park/War Memorial Golf Course

Bill Brass and I walked 5.7 miles at Two Rivers Park this morning in 2:06:13.
One hour and fifteen minutes later, John Czarnecki, Gil, and I teed off at War Memorial Park Golf Course. In general, I played awful. I scored 97, with nines of 49 and 48. I used 30 putts. John scored 102. The weather was perfect.
I can't express how fucking worn out I am.

Pam's Path

I walked Pam's Path at lunchtime today in 1:03:09.

Levy Trail Loop/War Memorial Park Golf Course

I walked the Levy Trail Loop this morning in 30:32.
John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course this morning and afternoon. I scored 90, with nines of 40 and 50, and used 33 putts. John scored 96. I let hypoglycemia sneak up on me on the back nine. My streak of no three putts ended on No. 10 at thirty-seven holes. I three-putted three times on the back, twice after hitting greens in regulation.

Levy Trail South/Hash

I walked Levy Trail South through a drizzle this morning in 31:47.
Basil Julian and I got separated from the other twenty Hashers about half an hour into the Hash run set from Benny Craig Park way the fuck out in the middle of southwest Little Rock. We got in after 1:31:38, way after everyone else.

Levy Trail/Maple Street Loop

I walked approximately 4.1 miles on the Levy Trail at lunchtime today in 1:09:27.
This evening I walked the Maple Street Loop in 34:41. A woman on West Street named Helen Langley told me the red cat I'm so fond of is named Sammy. She said she adopted him a couple of years ago from a neighbor who had a stroke and moved. She has lived in her house for eight years and said Sammy was well established in the neighborhood when she moved there. She said all of her neighbors speak highly of him.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Trail South

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 33:11.
Late this evening I walked Levy Trail South in 33:39.

Burns Park Loop/War Memorial Golf Course

I walked the Burns Park Loop this morning in 1:42:17 to finish nearly five minutes ahead of the rest of the Geezers.
John Czarnecki and I played War Memorial Golf Course this afternoon and evening in a race against night. We won by a butt hair. I scored an 83, with nines of 42 and 41. I used 33 putts. I am on a streak of 28 holes without a three-putt. John scored a 102 to crush his goal of breaking 149.
This round was close to really good; I had 2 pars, 14 bogies, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple.