Levy Loop

I don't think I have kidney stones, or the mumps, or two inguinal hernias, but I guess you never know, unless you go to a good doctor, which you'd never do if you were I. According to the Mayo Clinic's Web site, those are ailments sometimes associated with groin pain, though the most common cause is muscle strain, and I'm hopeful that my lack of common sense has no bearing on a lack of common causes for symptoms like mine. The site suggested rest might be required. The world record for consecutive days covering at least two miles currently stands at about thirteen thousand, so I perhaps will consider a break somewhere around my 85th birthday. This morning I jogged for a total of three and a half minutes—the sum of thirty-second, retarded bursts of roughly five miles an hour every five minutes—and otherwise walked the Levy Loop in 31:56. What's odd is that I felt more comfortable jogging. Here's hoping I can jog with a pull-cart tomorrow.

OVERHEARD
"She ain't gonna let the rope go, so I gotta let the rope go myself if you know what I'm saying."
—security guard speaking on his cell phone in the Kroger parking lot. The temperature is 102. Not RealFeel® 102; RealReal® 102, as in HotterThanTwoMotherfuckers® 102, as in I'mMakingTheDumbassCatsStayTheFuckIn® 102. The good thing is that the RealFeel® is only 107, so it's kind of dry heat, apparently ideal for lovesick phone conversations on sticky parking lots