At about 6:45 this morning, it occurred to me that it might be a fun challenge to try to break forty minutes race walking the Firecracker Fast 5K. So, I dashed out the door in my plaid golfing shorts and pink Polo shirt, drove faster than two motherfuckers to the start, registered, and then, beginning at 7:30, walked the race in 37:20, with splits of 11:53, 11:40, 12:28, and 1:19. They gave me a small brown envelope when I registered without telling me what was in it. I put it in my pocket, and then at the finish saw a group of women cutting timer chips off racers' shoes. "I didn't know what those were," I said. "Here's mine. It was in my pocket." The women said it would work anyway. She sounded confident. "No, it doesn't matter, as long as you had it with you." The deal is, they didn't have one of those pads at the start, so my time, if it appears on Arkansasrunner.com, will be thirty or forty seconds slower.* I was pleased. I hope I made the official results. I want to see how many people I beat.
*Rats. Apparently the chip-in-the-pocket technique doesn't work
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