UAPB

 PINE BLUFF—I walked for 44:40 before watching UAPB's probable blowout of North American University, a fifteen-year-old school from the Houston suburb Stafford. North American plays as an independent in the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics (NAIA), the lowest level of football played by four-year schools. I'll put the over-under points differential at 50 in favor of the home team. ...UAPB won, 76-3. UAPB began football in 1916, and this is the fifth largest points differential since then. In 1936, the school outscored Philander-Smith College of Little Rock, 85-0, for its most lopsided victory. Also noteworthy, Elijah Pitts played for Philander-Smith in the late 1950s and early 1960s. He was a borderline star for the Green Bay Packers during the Vince Lombard era. He later was the lead writer for the Trash of the Little Rock Hash House Harriers, known then as Eli Pitts. He was the Trash writer who was shot in the shoulder by a National Guardsman as he made a drink for himself on Bourbon Street. You know, the one who didn't know Hurricane Katrina had struck and thus wondered what all the touristy fuss was over New Orleans, what with all the water everywhere and trees blown all the fuck over the roads.