Sunday, January 18, 2015

Ghetto Cat Loop/Hash

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 29:57, and can't explain my high energy level in any other way than to assume it was generated by the fifty-year-old fifth grader who did whatever it took to make his motorcycle sound exactly like a nuclear explosion five goddamn feet behind me. That happened maybe a hundred yards up Orange Street Hill, the motherfucker. On Sunday fucking morning. What's with those guys? I mean, fuck, I know I've wasted half my adulthood behaving like a child, but at least I don't make all the fucking noise.
Now I'm warmed up for Hash. Believe it or not, John Krillenberger, on his own, decided to schedule his run for noon so that fans of the Green Bay Packers can get home in time for the NFC championship's 2:05 kickoff. He said that he couldn't care less about all those redheaded Seattle Seafuck fans. Besides, he said he suspects the bulk of them will be disappointed that the Hash did not choose to begin at 3 p.m. Good God. Football indeed. ...I'll say, do you mean the Milwaukee's Best people do not brew a pecan-flavored ale?
Elaine Gimblet and I got lost together way out in the middle of nowhere, not far though from the start at Reservoir Park. We were out for 1:04:53, and, according to Elaine's GPS, covered 26 feet. I didn't know there was growth in Little Rock as thick as what we ran through.
It required a radio for me to follow the first six plays of the game. Now I'm in Levy, and like what I have seen so far. The Packers have six points. The SeaFucks have zero first downs. (that's good and all, but, fuck, I'd still make Seattle the favorite. This will get very hard I believe)
Now it's Green Bay 13, Seattle 0, and I'm still worried. This is what sucks about letting sports dictate your contentment with life. The Packers could be up 212-0 late in the third quarter and I'd still be sitting here in a pool of Levy sweat (I'd way rather live in Seattle, where face it, even if you lose, you say big fucking deal. Your 900-square-foot house is worth $398,999. "Oh well," you say. "What kind of microbrew do we have, honey?" Oregon fans know what I'm talking about. They lose the national championship game and say, "At least we won't have to wake up in Ohio.")
It's 16-0. Fuck. This has become too weird. Green Bay has held Seattle to eleven yards in twenty minutes. I exaggerated with the 212-0 figure. All we need is, heck, maybe eighty more points)
See what I'm talking about. This sucks. This is why I wish I would read Pam's Boy and go what do you fucking know, Green Bay's playing today. I hope they play well. Let me think, somebody I know really likes them.
And, finally, rats.
In the meantime, I am busy writing an advance story for the Smarty Jones Stakes that thus far reads as well to me as anything I have written. Wait until next year, SeaFucks.

BY PETE PERKINS
HOT SPRINGS — Horsemen around the world will watch.
The $150,000 Smarty Jones Stakes for three-year-olds, scheduled for a 4:38 p.m. start at Oaklawn Park today, is among this holiday weekend's most significant preparatory races for the Kentucky Derby, horse racing's pinnacle. The colt Smarty Jones reached prominence at Oaklawn in 2004 and won the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs, a feat significant enough to warrant a race named in his honor.
Nine horses are entered in the Smarty Jones. 
Thoroughbred trainer D. Wayne Lukas made no bones last week that the Kentucky Derby is why he and everyone with whom he deals is in this game. He said that anyone who says anything else is "lying through their teeth." Lukas has trained four Kentucky Derby winners, and 14 winners of Triple Crown races, which include the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness and Belmont Stakes.
The Smarty Jones is on the many intertwined routes to the Derby trail, and Lucas trainee Mr. Z is the 2-1 morning-line favorite. Mr. Z has not won since the first race of his career, a six-furlong sprint at Churchill on June 14 last year, but he raced competitively against stiff company in his following seven races. He has never finished worse than fifth, and has been in the top three in six of his eight starts. None of Mr. Z's results have impressed more than his last, when he finished third by a head in a three-way photo finish with Dortmund and Firing Line at the Los Alamitos Futurity in southern California on Dec. 20. Dortmund won in the 1 1/16th-mile race in a track record one-minute, 40.4 seconds.
No other horse entered has raced more than six times, but Lukas, 79, said his colt needs the work. Earlier he thought he would hold Mr. Z out for Oaklawn's $300,000 Southwest Stakes, scheduled for Feb. 16, but changed his mind after his colt ran a 1:01.1, five-furlong training breeze on Jan. 12, the fastest workout of thirty horses who trained at the distance that morning.
"I was going to wait, but he's so tough, I think he will benefit from racing," Lukas said. "The secret of training race horses, in my opinion, or training any kind of athlete, is to read the athlete. Eight races for him is OK. Eight races for another one might be devastating. You got to play with what you have in front of you. He seems to thrive on it. In fact, he's still running a little bit green. He's still learning."
Jon Court, who has ridden horses from Oaklawn in the last three Kentucky Derbys, is scheduled to ride Mr. Z. He, like Lukas, knows the importance of the Smarty Jones and the role it plays in their pursuit of the Derby. "I don't have to win the Kentucky Derby to be able to say I've had a successful career when I retire, but it is the dream of everyone in this business," Court said. "Just the fact that you've ridden in it is a testimony to your career. Any time you go anywhere in the public, they say, 'Oh, you're a jockey,' and the first question they ask is, 'Have you ever ridden in the Kentucky Derby?' And depending on how you answer that question, you can imagine what the next question is. 'Well, have you ever won the Kentucky Derby?' "
Several other colts will likely receive strong backing from betters, including Hebbronville, trained by Lynn Whiting, with Shaun Bridgmohan the scheduled rider, and Bayered, trained by Steve Asmussen. Both are listed on the morning line at 9-2. Ramon Vazquez has been named to ride Bayered.
"I am very confident aboard this horse," Vazquez said through his agent and Spanish translator Ruben Munoz. "And I know I am in very good hands with the caretaker, with [Asmussen.]"
Asmussen has trained two Arkansas Derby winners, the final prep race at Oaklawn for the Kentucky Derby, and two winners of the Preakness Stakes.
Bayered has won three of five career starts, including the $255,000 Springboard Mile at Oklahoma City's Remington Park on Dec. 14, his last race and Vazquez's first experience aboard him.
"I had to use him a little bit earlier than I wanted because a horse got inside of me, but [Bayered] never gave up," said Vazquez, who rode Bayered to victory by a head over Shotgun Kowboy in 1:37.1.
Hebbronville finished second by 3/4 lengths to Blofeld in the Grade II, six-furlong Belmont Futurity Stakes on Oct. 5. Hebbronville's only previous attempt at a race around two turns was scuttled early. He began the Grade II Nashua Stakes at Aqueduct Racetrack, on Nov. 2, in a jumble with a nearby starter. Somehow his right front leg was clipped and lacerated, causing discomfort adequate enough to alert rider Jose Lezcano.
"He felt uncomfortable to the rider, and the rider was just taking care of the horse," Whiting said. "Afterward he never showed us an infirmity. He's had regular training patterns since and done everything we've asked him to do. I saw no compromise in him from a standpoint of soundness.
"In that instance, you're gratified the rider was intent on taking care of him and not just gone hell-bent down the race track."
Shaun Bridgmohan is scheduled to ride Hebbronville in the Smarty Jones.
Far Right, 6-1 on the morning line, last raced in the $1 million Delta Downs Jackpot in Vinton, Louisiana, where he finished third behind winner Ocho Ocho Ocho, and Mr. Z. Trouble at the start, and more caused by a stumble late on the final turn, eliminated his chance for victory. He appeared ready to contend, and may today.
Most hope for at least relative success, or any excuse to continue their pursuit for an entry at Churchill Downs on May 2.
"Every rider dreams of riding in the Derby, and that would be the biggest accomplishment I could have," said Vazquez, who has not had a Derby Mount. "Bayered gives me this opportunity. He's still learning, but he's a good horse."


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