33rd Street Loop

If any Pam's Boy* readers would like to empathize with me as I watch the Packers play the 49ers in Green Bay this afternoon, here's what you do: agree to have $50,000 of debt added to your highest-interest credit card if the Packers lose. You will then know some of the agony I'll feel with each Packer mistake, or 49er success (though for me it will have nothing to do with money). The game should be nightmarishly close, and they're predicting a kickoff temperature of -1°F,** factors that should combine to increase its entertainment value for neutral viewers. It's scheduled to start at 3:40 p.m. CST, on Fox, but I kind of hope the power goes off, or someone breaks in while I'm showering and steals the TV. I walked and jogged the five-mile 33rd Street Loop this morning in 1:10:46. It's turning cold in Levy. The temperature is supposed to plummet throughout the day and night to something like 13°F.

49ers 3, Packers 0

The Green Bay Packers decided to start with their classic Porous defensive alignment. Fortunately, they tightened it up at the goal line on the San Francisco 49ers first possession, and limited the bad guys to a field goal with nine minutes left in the first quarter.

49ers 6, Packers 0

Our offense hasn't done dick—zero first downs on its first two possessions. Meanwhile, the defense is bending to bits, but not breaking. San Francisco has taken a 6-0 lead with 2:17 left in the first.

Packers 7, 49ers 6

The Packers offense at last stopped sucking dicks. A turnover stopped San Fran, and Green Bay drove 70 yards to take a 7-6 lead with about six minutes left in the half on Rodger's 5-yard pass to Jordy Nelson. Still, I'm goddamned panicked.

49ers 13, Packers 7

I don't know why I watch this shit. With 2:48 left before halftime, I'm ready for baseball.

49ers 13, Packers 10

You'd probably think I'd be in good football shape by now, but, fuck, I'm glad it's halftime. I need a break.

Packers 17, 49ers 13

They're setting me up. Kuhn just scored from the 1. Four minutes are gone in the fourth quarter, and the Packers are fucking setting me up, or at least trying to, the bastards.

49ers 20, Packers 17

See.

49ers 20, Packers 20

Fuck, man, this is awful. There are five minutes to play, and the goddamn score's tied.

49ers 23, Packers 20

Oh, well. Bring on the Reds and Beat the fucking Streak.

*does anyone know how I can make my blog post titles burnt orange rather than blue?

**only two games in NFL history have been played below 0°F, including the Ice Bowl, in Green Bay on Dec. 31, 1967, when it was -13 and the Packers beat the Dallas Cowfucks, 21-17