Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 30:35, and decided to apologize to Dufner and Couples for mentioning them in yesterday's blog. I believe that is why they now have no fucking chance. Today I'll pick Phil Mickelson. I hope he has a ten-stroke lead before he and Peter Hanson, the leader this morning by one stroke, reach Amen Corner, and that the last two hours are so boring that I'll say, "Fuck it," and go mow the grass or something. That's what I'm hoping for, a terrible final day, devoid of drama, with at least two weather delays, where they start showing all those bullshit highlights from the 1986 Masters that we've seen a million times, with Jack Nicklaus telling us how great he was.

OVERHEARD
"Of course, Seve Ballesteros would have been fifty-five tomorrow, and his birthday always typically fell on the Saturday or Sunday of the Masters."
—from 12:55 p.m. Central, a commentator on the Golf Channel who was not identified after he made the proceeding insane statement

PICKING ON JIM NANCE
"The winner will be another drop in history at the Masters."
—part of his introductory speech, 1 p.m. Central