York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this evening in 33:52.

Orange Street Loop/Ghetto Cat Loop/Russellville Country Club

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 31:18. Last night, at about nine o'clock, I completed a walk and jog of the Orange Street Loop in 38:50.

Crutch and I were part of an eightsome at Russellville Country Club this afternoon. What's most amazing is that we completed our round in four and a half hours. I was pleased to score a 97 from the back tees. Crutch played so poorly he quit keeping score. Everyone else scored between 68 and somewhere around 85, so these were very good golfers. They played a gambling game called Wolf, at which I lost $10. I had 3 pars, 6 bogies, 7 doubles, and 2 triples, and used 31 putts (I chipped and pitched well). My nines were 49 and 48.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 29:06.

Hash

I walked for 52:21 on BJ's Hash run from Maumelle Park this afternoon. I guess I went a little over three miles. Man, it was hot.

Maple Street Loop

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 29:50.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop tonight in 37:01.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 30:48.

I called my mother today at about two p.m. to say I was on my way, but she sounded like Jane Perkins of c. 1995, and said, "It's too hot for you to drive all the way here today. I'll see you next week." So I golfed, and scored a 46 from the back of First Tee, which might be my best score from back there. Heck, man, the PGA event in Connecticut this week is 6,800 yards, or a little shorter than First Tee, which plays 3,428 for nine. I had 2 pars, 4 bogies, and 3 doubles, and used 17 putts, with zero three putts. On No. 8, the par-5, I hit my second shot into the woods, but hit a 180-yard four-hybrid, pitched from seventy yards, and two-putted from sixty feet for a double (which felt far more than two strokes better than the nine I scored Tuesday), then parred No. 9 with a 165-yard five-hybrid and two putts from fifteen feet.

Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop tonight in 30:32.

First Tee/Sweetheart Loop

Man, I had a disappointing 50 from the back tees at First Tee this afternoon. For starters, I used 21 putts, with 4 three-putts. I hit one green in regulation, the 230-yard par-3 third, but three-putted from 86 feet. On No. 4, which from the back tees plays like a U.S. Open hole, at 478 yards, I missed a four-foot putt for par. In fact, I made one of four up-and-down attempts within four feet. But what really killed me was a 9 on No. 8. I hit my third shot into the lake, then two-pitched and three-putted. I had 6 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 quadruple.

I jogged for about a minute, but otherwise walked the Sweetheart Loop this evening in 45:33. I started at about nine o'clock.

Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this evening in 47:49.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this evening in 30:22.

OVERHEARD
"His round has been a tale of two stories."
—NBC commentator on Fredrik Jacobson's final round of the 2011 U.S. Men's Open Championship

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this evening in 37:10.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop tonight in 29:10. Actually, I jogged for a total of two minutes. My foot feels almost healed.

OVERHEARD
"I wish I could get mad and throw up a golf club and catch it like that."
—Jane Perkins exhibiting the best example of irony I have witnessed, after she watched a golfer hit a crappy shot at the U.S. Men's Open Championship and then throw his club in the air and catch it "like that"

First Tee/York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—My foot is at 95 percent. It hardly hurts at all. I played nine holes from the middle tees at First Tee in 53, ten strokes worse than my last outing. I had 1 par, 2 bogies, 4 doubles, 1 triple, and 1 quadruple. I used 18 putts. Then I drove to Nashville, ate some macaroni and cheese, and walked the York Gary Loop in 32:10.

Levy Loop

My foot hurts, but not nearly as badly as yesterday. I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 41:05.

Levy Loop

I limped the Levy Loop in 55:41 this evening. My right foot hurts as if I have a severe toothache in my arch. I'm not sure, but suspect I might have twisted it or stepped on something during a spurt of hypoglycemia at about 4:30 this morning. I know that when I got up at about 7:30, it hurt so badly I had to crawl from the back bedroom to the front to dig out the crutches Ron and Elaine lent me in June of 2006 when my right calf tore playing softball. Thanks to steady doses of ice, ibuprofen, and aspirin, I have been off the crutches since that one early session. Nevertheless, my streak is in jeopardy.

Orange Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 36:50.

Hash

I arrived late at today's Hash run, because I spent an extra twenty minutes watching Harrison Frazar win the St. Judes golf tournament in a playoff, and then ran for about fifteen minutes from Alsopp Park until I caught Bill Brass and BJ. We walked for another half an hour. I guess I covered a little over three miles.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—I walked two miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 34:04.

SILVER BULLET LOCK-OF-A-LIFETIME SPECIAL
Santiva to win the the Belmont Stakes. Cash everything in and bet it all.

Yours truly,

Pete "Motherfucking Horse-picking Fucking Genius" Perkins*

*Hold on. I heard moments ago, at approximately 1:10 p.m. Central, that the track at Belmont Park is sloppier than two motherfuckers. So, my new pick is Shackleford. I'm in the Candlewood Suites parking lot on Central Avenue, a half mile south of Oaklawn Park (which I should be able to buy after Shackleford wins, and consequently rename "Blow Me Downs"). What's crazy is. I'm about to wet my pants. Good luck**

**I'm home now, after having bet $20 to win on Shackleford, and a $5 exacta box with Shackleford and Santiva, and having peed so hard my feet literally came off the floor in the Oaklawn Park men's room

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 33:15.

OVERHEARD
"And the whistle had been blown; or at least the decision to make the whistle had been blown."
—NBC hockey commentator, from Vancouver, in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals. I think he meant "...or at least the decision to blow the whistle had been made." But I don't know. These are Canadians. Maybe someone decided to make a whistle, but then blew the decision. Ask around

River Trail/Levy Loop

I walked and jogged a total of 8.2 miles in 1:53:02 on the River Trail and Big Dam Bridge this morning and early afternoon. My splits were 22:25 for the first crossing of the bridge, then 13:11, 13:13, 13:57, 13;41, and 13:44 on the trail, and 22:52 for the second bridge trip.

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 29:01.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:24.

I played First Tee from the middle tees this afternoon with Randal Hunhoff and Steven Grace and scored a 43, with 5 pars, 1 bogey, and 3 doubles. I used 17 putts.

Orange Street Loop/First Tee/47th Street Loop

I walked and jogged the Orange Street Loop this morning in 38:56. My legs were deader than Anthony Weiner's political aspirations.

Weather.com says it's 94, with a heat index of 97. Accuweather.com says it's 95, with a RealFeel® of 107. Whichever, it was too hot at First Tee to enjoy mediocre golf. I played one loop of the par-three course, and scored 35 from the boys tees, and 32 from the girls. Overall, I had 7 pars, 9 bogies, and 2 doubles, and used 32 putts.

I just walked the ol' 47th Street Loop for the first time since August 10 of last year. I went slowly, in 48:05, starting at about 6:45 p.m.

Levy Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 29:17.

Any time I walk faster than a fourteen-minute pace, I feel like I'm walking pretty fast, so I felt pretty fast this evening as I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 41:47.

Hash

I walked and jogged for 33:20 to cover a little over two miles on Josh's Hash run in Murray Park.

Hash

I spent 39:22 remarking the Great Cross Country Race this morning to cover a little more than two miles.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning, starting at about 8:30, in 33:44.

Great Cross Country Race/First Tee

I spent 1:36:30 setting Saturday's Great Cross Country Race in Boyle Park this morning. It covers a route very similar to the one we set five years ago. I was impressed by how much longer the first trail is, the one that starts on the other side of the street from the main pavilion. It's at least a mile and a half now. I probably covered a little over four miles. I imagine the race will be about three and a half miles long. It was certainly much more pleasant to set than last year's race in Hindman Park.

I'm not sure how hot it got today, but at 7:22 p.m., it's 90. I played 18 holes with Randal Hunhoff from the middle tees at First Tee in 96. with nines of 47 and 49. I had 4 pars, 7 bogies, 4 doubles, and 3 triples, and used 35 putts. I ate 1 package of PowerBar Gel, and 6 Halloween size Pay Day bars, and still battled hypoglycemia. I am about to fry chicken. Fuck, I'm starving.

Orange Street Loop/Levy Loop Classic

I just completed a walk-jog without wearing shoe inserts, my first run or walk or combination without them since, I'm not sure, but I think 1996. The pair I've kept in my new DS Trainers are now in my twenty-dollar Tredz. I felt fine, and my faded blister didn't bother me at all (which, of course, might've had something to do with the inserts being in the Tredz). I jogged for a total of twelve minutes, and otherwise walked the Orange Street Loop in 38:57, with splits of 13:50, 12:47, and 12:20.

This evening, starting at about 6:50, I jogged Levy Loop Classic in 21:30, with splits of 11:03, and 10:27. It's hot, but my legs felt good, even though I spent a good two hours in my yard this afternoon (I noticed the first blooms on the crepe myrtle today. I can see them now from my couch).

OVERHEARD
"Man, you wanna' try something hard? Try cutting your whole yard with a damn weedeater."
—man on 34th Street near the end of cutting his entire lawn with a weedeater