Levy Loop/First Tee/38th Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 32:01.

I played eighteen holes at First Tee this afternoon and evening, and scored a 97, with a 44 for the first nine from the middle tees, and then a 53 from the back. I thought I would break 50 on the second nine, particularly when I had a nine-iron in hand for my third shot on No. 8, but I chunked it into the fishing pond to start a triple-quadruple finish. Overall, I had 3 pars, 10 bogeys, 2 doubles, 1 triple, and 2 quadruples. I used 34 putts.

I'm not sure how hot it was out there, but it's 86 at 6:37 p.m. I tried something someone on the Golf Channel recommended; I drank four ounces of water after each hole. That seemed to help. I felt fairly fresh all the way through.

Starting at about 8:15 this evening, I walked the 38th Street Loop in 30:47.

Sweetheart Loop/Park Hill Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 47:56.

It feels like summer now. It's 89, with a RealFeel® of 94. I walked the Park Hill Loop in 1:12:37, with splits of 15:09, 14:19, 14:22, 14:34, and 14:13. My latest pair of Asics DS Trainers, as good as they otherwise feel, gave me a blister along the sheath of my right Achilles tendon (the back of my right heal?) about the size of an oblong nickel, or maybe one of those Halloween size chocolate footballs. It hobbled me throughout the weekend, unless I wore my old DS Trainers. All five pairs are worn to pieces. So, I drove out to Academy Sports and bought a pair of cheap running shoes: Tredz. They cost $19.95, and felt good on my walk. I hope to run soon in my two-month old DS Trainers, provided my blister callouses, or does whatever they do. This is new to me. (Jo is currently curled up, sleeping inside the Tredz box. If I had a computer with a camera, I would've called ya'll right back.)

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning. I accidently stopped my watch, so guess it took me about thirty-two minutes.

According to Reverend Bob's GPS watch, he, B.J., Ron Gimblet, and I walked 3.09 miles on the Hash run from Knopp Park this afternoon. I think I was out for about fifty-one minutes.

Park Hill Short Course/Levy Loop Classic

I walked the Park Hill Short Course this morning in 30:42, after I helped my dad move a ping-pong-table size piece of plywood from the back of his SUV into my garage, where I'm sure it will sit, next to the Vratil wood, until long after I'm dead.

I walked Levy Loop Classic, starting at about 5:15 p.m., in 31:55

Ghetto Cat Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:30.

This evening, starting at about 6:15, I walked the Sweetheart Loop in 42:53.

33rd Street Loop

I jogged for three minutes, then walked for two, then jogged for two, and walked for three, until I finished the 33rd Street Loop in 58:09, with splits of 11:26, 11:38, 11:58, 11:32, and 11:35. I felt good. Maybe before long I'll be able to run five miles without stopping.

38th Street Loop/York Gary Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 32:08, and then this evening, in Nashville, I walked the York Gary Loop in, no kidding, 32:08.

OVERSEEN
Exercise daily: Run from the Devil
—Sign in front of the Amity First Baptist Church

Park Hill Short Course/First Tee/Chandler Street Loop

I walked the Park Hill Short Course this morning in 32:24.

I played First Tee with Randal Hunhoff this afternoon, from the middle tees, in 43, with 3 pars, 5 bogies, and 1 double. I used 13 putts. I used my driver for the first time since last fall, after a lesson yesterday with Petey King. I'm close, I hope.

This evening, starting at about 6:20, I walked the Chandler Street Loop in 46:54.

Levy Loop/Sweetheart Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 31:19.

I jogged the downhills and otherwise walked the Sweetheart Loop in 38:53, starting at about 6:50 this evening, after watching the Phillies build a 2-0, third-inning lead over the Reds. Now, back to the game.

Park Hill Short Course/Hash

I measured a new course yesterday. It goes up 47th Street to Ridge Road, on Ridge all the way to F Street, then down F and 35th to Orange, with a couple of one-block detours thrown in to make it exactly two miles from my driveway to next-door-neighbor Tom's. Bob Walsh and I ran a very similar course back in the late 1980s when we lived on 35th. I'm calling it the Park Hill Short Course, and walked it this morning, between sessions of loud thunder and rain, in 33:23.

Late this afternoon I walked and jogged for 57:21 through Burns Park, finishing at the covered bridge to cover about four miles, maybe a little more, with the Hash.

Na Yeon Choi won the consolation this afternoon, so finished third in the LPGA match-play.

Levy Loop Classic/Chandler Street Loop

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 32:24.

If Na Yeon can win her two matches today, and Michelle Wie hers, then she should get some television time tomorrow, when she plays Miss Michelle in the semifinals. Yesterday she beat Karen Stupples, the fat but funny and lovable Englishwoman, in 20 holes, and they showed her miss putts of ten and twenty feet. That was it. They showed Stupples miss putts of eighteen inches to win on No. 18, four feet to win on No. 19, and seven feet to lose on No. 20.

Ms. Choi qualified for the quarterfinals. I guess they're over now. I plan to watch the Golf Channel's rebroadcast at 11 p.m.

This evening, starting at about 6:15, I jogged for a total of 14:07 to complete the Chandler Street Loop in 38:07.

Ghetto Cat Loop/Gimblett Street Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:37.

Starting at about 4:15 p.m., I walked the ol' five-mile Gimblett Street Loop in 1:12:41, and succeeded in getting back in time to watch the round of thirty-two at the LPGA match-play championship.

38th Street Loop/First Tee

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 30:02, and will leave for the first Levy-Broadmoar Cup match of the season at First Tee after I eat a bowl of cereal and an omelette. Krupsaw is meat, fucking meat.

Before I got there, Krupsaw invited Natasha Vincent and Jack Wong to play with us, so the Cup Match was off. And with those two superstars, we had to play from the back tees. I scored a 104, with nines of 51 and 53. I had 2 pars, 7 bogies, 5 doubles, 2 triples, 1 quadruple, and 1 pentagonal. I used 39 putts, which included two four-putts. Fuck it, man. I'm not good enough to play from the back.

"Everyone in my family always hated the Dallas Cowboys. It seems like everyone who goes to that town turns into a douche bag."
—Natasha Vincent

Ghetto Cat Loop/Levy Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 32:15. I wore a jacket. The temperature has been great this spring. It's May 18, and we've only had one day in the nineties, when it reached 91 on April 19. Mostly this month's highs have been in the seventies. Maybe we'll get a climatical repeat of the Summer of '09.

This evening, starting at about 7:45, I jogged the Levy Loop in 22:45, with splits of 11:08 and 10:37.

First Tee/Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 32:31, starting about five minutes after I returned from eighteen holes from the back at First Tee. I'm not sure, but I think that's the first time I've ever played two loops from the blues. I played with Randal Hunhoff, a Korean engineering professor named Jung, and a Chinese engineering professor named Bill, and scored a 95, with 1 par, 13 bogies, 2 doubles, and 2 triples. From the back, the course plays 6,856 yards, so the longest I've played, I think. I used 39 putts. I three-putted four times, and my only one-putt came from fifty feet for par on No. 2 the first time around. I'm beat, and hungrier than an entire junior high football team.

York Gary Loop/First Tee

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 34:37.

I played First Tee with Randal Hunhoff this afternoon and scored 101, with nines of 51 and 50. I had 1 birdie, 7 bogies, 7 doubles, and 3 triples. I used 37 putts.

38th Street Loop

I walked the 38th Street Loop this morning in 31:46.

Maple Street Loop/Fort Roots/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 31:48, then played Fort Roots* with Tim "Hey Perkins, What're You Doing? Jacking Your Fucking Dick" Davidson in 46, with 2 pars, 4 bogies, and 3 doubles. I used 16 putts. It was the first time I'd played with Davidson since circa 1988.

I jogged and walked at least three miles late this afternoon in 48:20 at the Hash run set by Crack Pipe in Conway. We had a nearly perfect post-run. No kidding, my abdominal muscles hurt from laughing.

*Last month's tornado blew over I'm-not-sure-how-many trees on the course, maybe twenty or thirty. The No. 5 fairway has chopped-upped logs all over it. Do you remember the short par-3, No. 6? The tree that kind of blocked the right side of the green is gone, making that hundred-yard hole a fucking snap.

Park Hill Loop

I jogged for twenty-four minutes and otherwise walked the Park Hill Loop this morning in 1:07:47, with splits of 13:37, 13:29, 12:51, 14:21, and 13:29.

Levy Loop

Starting at about nine this morning, I walked the Levy Loop in 31:50.

OVERHEARD
"Sometimes I think all Tiger's game needs is five or six Advil."
—Roger Maltbie, five-time PGA Tour winner and current Golf Channel and NBC commentator

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat Loop this morning in 34:08.

York Gary Loop

NASHVILLE—I walked the York Gary Loop this morning in 34:37.

Old Center Point Road

NASHVILLE—It's a little sultry out tonight, but not in a bad way. It's summerish, with a faint scent of tar out on Old Center Point Road. I walked and jogged four miles in 54:11.

Levy Loop/York Gary Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 33:15, and the York Gary Loop this evening in Nashville in 29:27.

Maple Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Maple Street Loop this morning in 33:44.

I ran across busy streets. Otherwise I walked for 44:41 on Jeff Fanny Packer's Hash run this afternoon in west Little Rock. I probably went a little less than three miles.

Sweetheart Loop/Orange Street Loop

I walked the Sweetheart Loop this morning in 48:33.

My Kentucky Derby Silver Bullet Special Lock of a Lifetime® for 2011 is No. 15 Midnight Interlude. The Santa Anita Derby winner, who has worked better than any colt in the field, is 10-to-1 on the morning line, odds sure to plummet after the publication of KDSBSL Lifetime®. For my Install a Public Address System at Your Place of Employment So You Can Walk in Monday Morning and Announce: Suck My Ass I Quit Motherfuckers Guarantee®, I recommend a four-colt superfecta box, with No. 6 Comma to the Top, No. 14 Shackleford, Midnight, and No. 19 Nehro. It might put thoroughbred racing out of business.

Oh well. There's always another race in twenty-five minutes.

This evening, starting at about 7, I walked the Orange Street Loop in 43:15.

Levy Loop Classic

I walked Levy Loop Classic this morning in 32:20.

Ghetto Cat Loop/First Tee/Chandler Street Loop

It is 64 with a light breeze and bright sky, perfect for golf, and for a 29:21 walk of the Ghetto Cat Loop.

I didn't play very well at First Tee today, but did set a personal record with 30 putts, one under my previous best. I used 13 putts on the first nine, also a record by one. Joined by Randal Hunhoff, I scored a 98, with nines of 49 and 49. I had 1 birdie, 1 par, 9 bogies, 4 doubles, 2 triples, and 1 quadruple. As for the putting, I had 8 ones, 8 twos, and 2 threes. I missed a zero putt from the fringe on the final hole by two inches. It would've put me into the 20s, a goal of mine for at least the last fifteen years.

I walked the Chandler Street Loop this evening in 49:03. It's great out. Grills are going, teenage latino girls are dancing in bright frilly princess dresses on a lawn on Maple, I passed two groups of fellows drinking beer (and overheard one say, "No shit? Have you smoked any of it yet?"), and Mary Lyons ran by just after I finished. She was with a friend from I believe Dallas, who she told me about a month or so ago. "She's too fast for me," Mary said. And, this moment, a woman jogged by pushing a baby carriage. I wish now I would've invited people over for Pam's birthday party. She turned ten today.

Busch Stadium/Levy Loop

I walked the Levy Loop this evening in 30:18.

Last night in St. Louis, I walked four laps around the street-level mezzanine at Busch Stadium in 32:20. It had to be at least two miles because I was walking fast. Even with a jacket, 48 degrees in a baseball stadium is cold.

Ghetto Cat Loop

I walked the Ghetto Cat loop this evening through a cold drizzle in 29:20.

OVERHEARD
"So far this season, the Cardinals have lost eight games when they had the lead in the seventh inning or later. That's more than twice as many as any other team in baseball. It makes you wonder how many more games they would've won if they'd just won half of them."
—St. Louis Cardinals play-by-play announcer on Tuesday night

Marion Street Loop/Hash

I walked the Marion Street Loop this morning in 47:17.

If you live north of New England, fifty-four degrees doesn't sound like much, but down here it's different this time of year. It was nearly eighty a couple of days ago. It poured on us as we ran Bill Brass' Hash run through Burns Park. I was out for 1:11:08. I ran quite a bit, so covered at least five miles. Now I'm on my couch in blue jeans and a sweater and dry socks. My heater's on.

What's the over-under on the number of sports events, worldwide, during which the PA announcer will request a moment of silence in honor of Osama bin Laden over the next week? I'm going with two.



OVERHEARD
"My invitation was lost in the post. They kept calling from the palace with their apologizes, but I told them to quit with the worrying. I told them I had a golf tournament to play."
—England's Karen Stupples from the Avnet Classic in Mobile