NASHVILLE—I walked two miles on Old Center Point Road this morning in 34:04.
SILVER BULLET LOCK-OF-A-LIFETIME SPECIAL
Santiva to win the the Belmont Stakes. Cash everything in and bet it all.
Yours truly,
Pete "Motherfucking Horse-picking Fucking Genius" Perkins*
*Hold on. I heard moments ago, at approximately 1:10 p.m. Central, that the track at Belmont Park is sloppier than two motherfuckers. So, my new pick is Shackleford. I'm in the Candlewood Suites parking lot on Central Avenue, a half mile south of Oaklawn Park (which I should be able to buy after Shackleford wins, and consequently rename "Blow Me Downs"). What's crazy is. I'm about to wet my pants. Good luck**
**I'm home now, after having bet $20 to win on Shackleford, and a $5 exacta box with Shackleford and Santiva, and having peed so hard my feet literally came off the floor in the Oaklawn Park men's room
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