Ghetto Cat Loop/38th Street Loop

Levy is a scene from a climate-change movie; there are limbs and twigs and dried green leaves spread across yards and the streets. A huge tree is on top of the house at 812 33rd Street. The house looked awful, almost gross, like a hobo with a hatchet in his head. There's a truck at the top of the Orange Street hill grinding up a stack of branches. And it's 104 degrees, with a RealFeel® of 110. I walked the Ghetto Street Loop in 32:36 and decided there's no fucking way I'm going to join Randall Hunhoff for a round of the par-three course.

After learning the Miss Target Pageant is much more competitive than its Walmart equivalent, I walked the 38th Street Loop in 29:54. At 5:08 p.m. Central, it's 105, but the heat index has plummeted to 107. It's a little breezy out, too, and felt more comfortable than four hours ago. The Reds won last night, the Cardinals lost, so the Reds are back in first, and an Indian, or Pakistanian, or Bangladeshian girl is the new Miss Target.