Levy Loop

When I walked the Levy Loop this morning, in 32:42, it was 91 with a RealFeel® of 101. I just got in from mowing my front yard, now three hours later, and it's 96. It seems as hot as it ever gets in Levy. My air conditioner is running non-stop.

I'm for Dustin Johnson, or anyone who can drive a 285-yard hole with a motherfuckng 3-iron, or anyone who is not half-Asian, unless they somehow let you* in the final round and count half-Eskimo as half-Asian.

*Woman Gets Final-round Exemption

By Eli Pitts
The Trash

PEBBLE BEACH, Calif. — U.S. golfer Erin Vratil, who has a career-best of 112 on a regulation, 18-hole course, was granted an unprecedented final-round exemption into the U.S. Open. She will replace Graham McDowell of Northern Ireland in the final group, and thus be paired with leader Dustin Johnson.

"Ms. Vratil's father [Paul Eckman] was raised in Pennsylvania, as was Arnold Palmer," U.S. Golf Association Executive Director David Fay said. "She is a native Alaskan, or an Alaskan native—whichever the fuck it is; I can never keep that straight, and no Alaskan woman, or any woman at all, has ever made the cut.
"So, please, get the hell off my ass. We gave Vijay Singh an exemption and I didn't hear anyone complain."

Vratil's score in the final round will be considered her four-round score. Hypothetically, if Johnson plays even-par today, Vratil will need to score 277 to win, or 278 to force a Monday playoff. McDowell trails Johnson by three strokes; Tiger Woods trails by five.

"I think I can break 300, but that depends," Vratil said. "How many balls can fit in a golf bag?"

"We're just taking it with a grain of sand," said Vratil's husband and caddy Chris Vratil.