Levy Loop/Hash

I walked the Levy Loop at 10 a.m. Central in 28:34.

Late this afternoon I ran and walked a mile with the Hash. Most of us got turned around, skipped a few marks, and first thing you know we were back at the start. It was hot and humid and all but a couple of the idiots stayed put.

Orange Street Loop/Park Hill Loop

I realized about a mile into the rarely-run Orange Street Loop this morning that there was too much effort involved, since I plan to run the Park Hill Loop late tonight. I completed it in 39:10, with 16 minutes of jogging and splits of 12:29, 13:20, and 13:21.

The Park Hill Loop went well. I ran it in 53:58 with splits of 11:09, 11:49, 10:31, 11:20 and 9:09, and don't think I will try to run it any faster for a while. I kind of hoped to run under 55 minutes, but then dashed down the Orange St. hill to my house to break 54. I alternated four minutes of running with one of walking through four miles. I ran all but the first 12 seconds of the fifth mile.

Levy Loop/Rebsamen Park Golf Course

I walked the Levy Loop in 31:14 this morning, and played Rebsamen with Randall Hunhoff and a guy off the street named Al Jones in 97 this afternoon. I had nines of 49 and 48.

Hindman Park Golf Course/47th Street

I played Hindman this morning with Rob Wistrand in 103, with nines of 49 and 54. I probably should take a week off, and would except I told Randall Hunhoff a few days ago I would play Rebsamen with him tomorrow afternoon, plus my new True Temper Dynamic Gold SL R-300 shafts came in today, so I'll have those put on Monday and will then of course feel compelled to play. I need a break, though, and will take it soon. It was fucking miserably humid out there.

Tonight I ran the 47th Street Loop, alternating four minutes of jogging with one-minute walks, in 35:17, with splits of 11:41, 11:38, and 11:58. It was easy, a delight, really. The only reason the final mile was significantly slower than the the first two was that it included three minutes of walking instead of two. So I jogged for a total of 28:17. This was the first time I felt that comfortable the day after a significant effort in, gosh, a couple of years I think.

Levy Loop/47th Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in 29:13 this morning.

Starting at 10:20 p.m. tonight, I ran the 47th Street Loop in 28:13, with splits of 9:54, 9:16 and 9:03.

This was easier than the 29:50 I ran seven days ago, but did not, as then, come the day after walking five miles while pulling 50 pounds of golf clubs, balls, water, gloves and underpants. Plus it was probably 15 degrees cooler tonight.

Levy Loop

jogged and walked in 25:17.

Levy Loop intervals

I ran the Levy Loop twice in 46:43, with splits of 12:59, 10:12, 10:19, and 13:13. During the middle 2 miles, I alternated 60 second fast runs with 60 second walks. I was about 30 seconds into my 11th sprint when I finished. That was a pretty hard way to cover 2 miles. It would be nice, perhaps, to have a GPS watch. I think one could tell me how far I went during each of those sprints. But I think a good and maybe better gauge of progress will be my overall time for the loop.

Hindman Park Golf Course/Hash

I clawed my way back from a 53 on the front nine at Hindman to need bogie on No. 18 to break Byron Nelson's all-time record of 10 consecutive rounds under 100. I hit two 3-woods to 30 yards, pitched short and right, and chipped to 15 feet. I faced a side-hill putt with a severe left-to-right break. As it rolled down hill toward the hole, Jeff Krupsaw said, "Great putt." It was good, but had a butt hair too much steam, missed high by an inch and rolled six inches past.

I had 2 pars, 7 bogies, 7 doubles, 1 triple, 1 quadruple (with two balls in the water on No. 8), 5 penalty strokes, and used 32 putts.

Hurricane Fay struck when we were on the No. 16 tee box. It dropped mushy hail. I'd never seen anything like it, like marbles of compressed, watery snow. "Fuck, it's snowing," I said. "I don't think I've ever seen snow in August in Arkansas," Krupsaw said. "Yeah, it hardly ever snows when it's 85." "Almost never."

Late this afternoon I walked and jogged about 3 miles from Boyle Park with the Hash.

47th Street Loop/Park Hill Loop

I slowly walked and jogged the 47th Street Loop in 44:02 late this morning.

My plan was to run the Park Hill Loop tomorrow (Sunday) morning, but Jeff Krupsaw asked me to play Hindman Park with him, so I ran Park Hill tonight, starting at about 11 p.m. I walked and ran it in 59:05, with splits of 12:05, 13:08, 11:14, 12:16, and 10:23, and felt very good. I ran for a total of 39 minutes, 5 seconds, including the last 9:05 to make sure I broke an hour.

I am interested to see how I golf eight hours from now off four hours sleep at most. My over-under is 95, and will bet $5 with anyone who posts a prediction before I report my score. I'm not sure, but I think my streak of rounds under 100 (93-99) reached 10 on Friday. I could see a 102-104 tomorrow. Or, fuck, an 87. I can also see wetting my bed and sleeping through our 8 a.m. tee time.

Levy Loop/Hindman Park Golf Course

I walked the Levy Loop this morning in 30:00.11. I was kind of pissed to miss my 30-minute prediction by 11 100ths of a second. There was a time when I was pretty good at that game.

I parred the first three holes at Hindman this afternoon. And then got a quadruple bogie on No. 4. I also had a triple on No. 8, and a pentagonal on No. 18. I chipped in for birdie on No. 15. I had nines of 50 and 48 for a 98. It was hot and very humid today for the first time in two weeks and it whipped me. I'm so hungry it's hard to type, or to sit here and watch men's platform diving. What's the point of televising diving without Chen Ruolin?

Levy Loop/Levy Loop

mostly walked on tired legs in 28:01, and again in the late afternoon in 33:40.

Levy Loop/47th Street Loop

I walked the Levy Loop in 28:58 through 68-degree mist and drizzle, and guess the price of gasoline has reversed the trend of global warming.

Starting at about 6 p.m. Central, I ran the 47th Street Loop in 29:51, with splits of 9:46, 9:52 and 10:13. It was darned close to a time trail. I felt great through the first mile, but almost stopped at the end of the second. Only my desire to shatter the 30-minute barrier, once unimaginable for residents of Levy, persuaded me to prevail. Also, I'm pretty sure I broke the world 3-mile record for a man wearing red-and-blue plaid golf shorts (I left my $4,000 Brooks running shorts at Camp Clearfork).

Levy Loop/Rebsamen Park Golf Course

I ran (nine minutes) and walked the Levy Loop in 24:18 this morning.

This afternoon and evening I played Rebsamen with Randall Hunhoff in 93, with nines of 44 and 49. I had 1 par, 14 bogies, 2 doubles, and 1 triple.

Levy Loop/47th Street Loop

I walked and jogged (six minutes) the Levy Loop in 26:11 early this afternoon. Tonight I ran and walked the 47th Street Loop with 2X5X60 seconds of hard running (w/ 60 seconds between the sprints and four minutes between sets) en route. The loop took me 34:38. The 2 miles covered during the sprints took 22:03.

Hash

CRYSTAL SPRINGS, Ark. — I ran a little, but mostly walked for 45 minutes with Basil Julian and a very nice woman from Dallas at Camp Clearfork this morning. We probably covered a little less than 3 miles, but made up for the lack of effort with three hours of fishing (I caught five large-mouth bass that weighed a total of maybe three pounds).

Park Hill Loop

walked and run (for 26 minutes) in 1:01:56, w/ splits of 12:19, 13:09, 11:51, 13:09, and 11:28.

Levy Loop/Rebsamen Park Golf Course

I walked the Levy Loop in the morning in 28:33, and played Rebsamen in the afternoon and evening with Randall Hunhoff and dentist Steve in 96, with nines of 50 and 46. I had 3 pars, 6 bogies, and 9 doubles. I battled hypoglycemia for four holes on the front, and hard rain for three holes on the back. After the rain it turned cold (relatively cold, of course. It was 65, but with a 15 mph wind and soaking wet clothes, I felt an occasional shiver). Still, I finished par, par, bogie and left pleased.

Levy Loop

run in 21:58, w/ splits of 11:00 and 10:58

Aborted Ridge Road Loop

I got about two blocks past the old Tom Pickle spread on the Ridge Road Loop and had to stop to sit on the curb. I felt feint. That persuaded me to take a left on F Street and walk the fuck home. I ran and walked the first 2 miles in 25:52, and probably covered about 3.5 miles. Counting golf, I walked, ran, and dragged golf clubs a total of 15 miles on Monday and Tuesday.

Fuck it. I just called Tim Cooper. I'm going two-thigh basket with fried okra and mashed potatoes and creamed gravy and might eat some goddamned pie at Paul's. No. No. I'm also going to eat an order of fried pickles. You know, for the sake of having run past the old Pickle spread a few minutes ago.

Levy Loop/Hindman Park Golf Course

I ran the Levy Loop this morning in 21:25, with splits of 10:43 and 10:42. I spent the afternoon at Hindman, where I scored a 95, with nines of 50 and 45. I had 2 pars, 10 bogies, 5 doubles, and 1 triple, and used 35 putts.

47th Street Loop/Hindman Park Golf Course

I walked and ran, for 14 minutes, the 47th Street Loop in 35:53, with splits of 11:54, 12:08, and 11:51, this morning. I played Hindman in the afternoon in 98, with nines of 50 and 48. I had a quadruple bogey on No. 7, a par five, after I hit my "safe" 2-iron tee shot into the creek to the left, dropped, and then hit the drop into the creek that runs across the fairway. I was worried about breaking 100, until I hit a 45-foot birdie putt on the par-three 17th. I didn't know how key that was until I two-pitched and three-putted No. 18 for a triple bogey. My score card on the back nine read 5-6-6-6-6-5-5-2-7. I used 35 putts. It sprinkled a little over the first six holes, and never got over 75, crazy for August, like fucking Fairbanks.

Levy Loop/Day 110

walked and run, for 10 minutes, in 23:39.

Park Hill Loop

walked and run (for 20 minutes) in 1:04:32, with mile splits of 12:42, 13:32, 12:31; 13:34, and 12:23.

Levy Loop/Burns Park

I walked and ran (for six minutes) the Levy Loop this morning in 24:58 Beginning at about 6 p.m., I played the front nine of the older, longer Burns Park Course in 44, with 3 pars, 4 bogies, and 2 doubles. I walked on. I had an idea about driving up to the clubhouse to pay the $12 after I finished, but opted to drive off with my money rather than risk a lecture. Considering the weather, twice the price would've been a deal.

Levy Loop/First Tee

walked in 32:14 before playing nine holes at First Tee with Randall Hunhoff. I stunk at golf. I had 7 bogies and 2 doubles for a 47.

Ridge Road Loop

walked in 58:21, each mile a bit faster, from 15:18 to 14:04.

Levy Loop/Rebsamen Golf Course

I very slowly walked and ran (for a total of 6 minutes) the Levy Loop in 27:54, about an hour after playing Rebsamen Park Golf Course with Randall Hunhoff. I had to play the final three holes in one-over to save a 99, w/ nines of 52 and 47. It was much, much more pleasant on the course than the last three rounds. Nevertheless, I shanked a total of six drives. It took 31 putts, two up-and-down bunker shots, and a nicely turned story about Deena Kastor to keep me from jumping off the Metropolitan Bank Building. It also helped that afterward Pam, Sam, and Jo sat with me and in a cool breeze on the front porch. Perhaps 54 holes in five days through heat indexes of 114, 112, and 106 is too difficult for me.

47th Street Loop/Rebsamen

Two and a half hours after walking off Rebsamen Park Golf Course, and 15 minutes after walking from a basket of chicken bones at Paul's, I walked and ran (for a total of eight minutes) the 47th Street Loop in 39:21, with mile splits of 13:38, 12:59, and 12:44.

I hit a 2-iron left on No. 6 at Rebsamen, cutting the corner on the 285-yarder, and pulled out a pitching wedge for a 90-yard shot. That's typically a sand-wedge distance for me, but I haven't hit full shots with that club very well lately, so I three-quartered the pitching wedge. The shot looked beautiful, high and soft, but with my shot depth perception, I didn't know how good it was until it bounced a couple of feet from the hole and disappeared for an eagle. I had Nelson Chenault, a local free-lance photographer, as a witness. I scored a 42 for the front nine, a record I believe, but returned to life on the back nine with a 51. Still, 93 ties for my best round of the year.

Alltel Arena

I walked eight laps of Alltel Arena's mezzanine in a record-shattering 28:55 (the old record was 31:12) this afternoon before the Arkansas Twisters first-round Arena Football 2 playoff game with the Central Valley (Fresno, Calif.) Coyotes. I think each lap is a cunt hair over a quarter of a mile, so I'm calling the course 2.1 miles. My splits were 3:46, 3:44, 3:40, 3:41, 3:34, 3:34, 3:30, and 3:26.

I have begun to empathize with mall walkers. Shit, it's something like 102 degrees out. It couldn't be much over 70 in this building.

Ridge Road Loop/Burns Park

I played six holes of the original Burns Park Course, finished in borderline darkness, came home, and walked and ran the Ridge Road Loop in 52:12.

My plan was to hit five- and eight-irons in the field beside the first fairway at Burns Park, but no one was on the course, it looked like the clubhouse was closed, so I walked back to my car, grabbed my putter, and walked on with a five- and eight-iron, a putter, and pockets full of tees, three balls, three gloves, and boxer shorts from my bag. I played Nos. 1-4. 6, and 9. I had two pars, three bogies, and one double (on No. 4, the hole on which Malcolm, a friend of friends of mine, once hit four consecutive tee shots into the woods and creek to the right in one the most blatant examples of persistence abuse I've witnessed). I played the women's tee on No. 9 because it was nearly dark and I didn't want to walk 100 yards back to the men's. Here's an example of the break women get. I hit a 5-iron hook, a crappy 8-iron back to the fairway over a tree, chunked a 5-iron that went maybe 120 yards to leave me 50 yards short of the pin. I then pitched an 8-iron in Erin regulation to 5 feet and one-putted for par. Fuck Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Ben Hogan, and Arnold Palmer. Fuck Jim Furyk, too. I played six holes in five-over with three clubs to prove I am the greatest golfer the earth has known.

Holy shit

Once again I did the Rebsamen Park Golf Course-Levy Loop double.

It was too hot for golf, but Randall Hunhoff and I fucking golfed anyway. (Ch. 7 weatherman Barry Brandt just said the high today was 101, and that the heat index at 4 p.m., when we were on about No. 5, was 113) I scored a 96, with nines of 49 and 47. My short game sucked. I used 38 putts and didn't chip or pitch worth a damn. But I ordered a new set of irons (Nickent 3DX Pros), they arrived this morning, and after a couple of crappy shots to start, I hit them great. They are beautiful.

I got home, let Pam and Sam in and Jo out, listened to my favorite voice on the answering machine, and walked the Levy Loop without wearing a watch. It probably took me 35 minutes.

Now I plan to grill a steak, bake a potato, and broil some asparagus. I'm hungrier than two motherfuckers.