Ridge Road Loop/Burns Park

I played six holes of the original Burns Park Course, finished in borderline darkness, came home, and walked and ran the Ridge Road Loop in 52:12.

My plan was to hit five- and eight-irons in the field beside the first fairway at Burns Park, but no one was on the course, it looked like the clubhouse was closed, so I walked back to my car, grabbed my putter, and walked on with a five- and eight-iron, a putter, and pockets full of tees, three balls, three gloves, and boxer shorts from my bag. I played Nos. 1-4. 6, and 9. I had two pars, three bogies, and one double (on No. 4, the hole on which Malcolm, a friend of friends of mine, once hit four consecutive tee shots into the woods and creek to the right in one the most blatant examples of persistence abuse I've witnessed). I played the women's tee on No. 9 because it was nearly dark and I didn't want to walk 100 yards back to the men's. Here's an example of the break women get. I hit a 5-iron hook, a crappy 8-iron back to the fairway over a tree, chunked a 5-iron that went maybe 120 yards to leave me 50 yards short of the pin. I then pitched an 8-iron in Erin regulation to 5 feet and one-putted for par. Fuck Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Ben Hogan, and Arnold Palmer. Fuck Jim Furyk, too. I played six holes in five-over with three clubs to prove I am the greatest golfer the earth has known.