Little Rock Marathon

Some 24- or 25-year-old funeral home marketing director and UALR senior named Rebecca kept me from breaking seven hours. I'm a little pissed, since my 15-mile-a-week training program had me ready for a sub-seven-hour marathon.

I felt bad from the start, as my splits confirm: 1, 14:36; 2, 13:47; 3, 13:37; 4, 14:22; 5, 15:39; 6, 16:04; 7, 14:36; 8, 14:57; 9. 15:53; 10, 15:44; 11, 14:36; 12, 19:23; 13, 19:01; 14, 18:34; 15, 16:20; 16, 17:43; 17, 15:58; 18, 16:23; 19, 17:51; 20, 18:29; 21, 22:33; 22, 16:37; 23, 16:29; 24, 13:59; 25, 13:20; 26, 12:36.

Nearing the 6-mile mark on 3rd Street, I dropped a roll of SweaTarts. I reached to pick it up, and couldn't using the standard technique recommended. My hamstrings were so tight, I had to exaggerate my knee bend. Someone behind me said, "You might not be able to pick those up in a few miles," I said, "Hell, it's hard now." " I could tell." My hamstrings were too tight for me to kick, so I slugged him in the face.

I knew I was whipped when I could no longer break 15 minutes for a mile, usually a very comfortable walking pace. So after the 10th mile, I quit, but walking 2 miles at 19 minutes each toward a good quitting spot revived me. I decided to continue. I walked through the 23rd mile, the last three with very cute, Pete-pretty Rebecca. She had started 2 hours after me, run the first half in 2:15, and stopped to walk just after she passed me at 19 miles. Somewhere on my slow walk with her, I started feeling much better. She recovered and ran away at about 22.5 miles. I could have run then, but didn't really care about my time, since my goal had been revised to breaking eight hours and not finishing last. Both of those were secured, and I hadn't bothered to consider my pace or again revising my goal.

I wasn't even bothering to look at my overall time, just the mile spilts, until Mile 23. I noticed I'd been out for 6:21:23, and it occurred I could break seven hours if I ran the last 3 miles at about a 12-minute pace. I was probably too slow for that, I figured, but gave it a try, and ran the last 3 in 13:59, 13:20, and 12:36. Take out my 3-mile flirt with Rebecca, and add 3 miles at a 13:30 pace, and I could've done it, I think.

Oh well. Somehow the Little Rock Marathon people got their clocks fucked up, and failed to add the two hours for the people who started at 6 a.m. As of this morning, according to the paper, the slowest official time in the race was 6:36:38. I ran it in 5:05:14.