SOUTHAVEN, Miss. — In my mind, the seasons break down so that spring begins with March, which means 6 inches of snow on the ground here means one of two things: Global warming has quit working, or Mississippi is arctic.
I knew it was going to be cold, so I packed one mitten in my bag before I left Levy. I tried to run bare-handed this morning in snow driven nearly parallel by a straight-line, 30-mph wind, got about a half mile north on Pepper Chase Drive and blew off that nonsense with a run back to my room at the Key West.
Later I drove to the Wal-Mart Super Center where I bought 500 large aerosol cans of hairspray. I discharged them in the parking lot. Mississippi is a southern state and it's snowed here all day and night. It's March, for Christ's sake. I am a fan of global warming and have done and will continue to do everything I can to support it. Tomorrow I will buy a Hummer and more hairspray.
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